Gabriel's Diary
by Gabriel Ryan
Summary: A vampire created in the 1300s is waking up for the first time in years. He's just as bloodthirsty as the day he was made. He has a past that continues to haunt him and a future that doesn't look too bright. Will his satanic desires rule his life?
1. CHANGES

CHANGES

September 11th, 2010

Zzzzzzzzzzmmmmmmmmmmm

I feel the small amount of life in me stirring. It's thrumming through my veins! My eyes opening. My fingers flexing. I feel change. This is not the same age that I remember. I feel…Thirst! What is so different that has awakened my most important sense?

Mmmmm. I taste blood. My own blood. I've bitten my lip and this blood is not sustaining me. I might need to just take a peek at this new world. Just a peek? No! A peek will lead to destruction! But the hunger is so unbearable! Maybe, I'll just make a little more room under here.

Oops! It appears I have disturbed the dirt above me and now there is a small hole right above my face. Just a peek…

This world is intoxicating! The new scents are all consuming! And the sounds are things I could never have imagined in my wildest dreams! (Hmmmm I don't dream….I can't.) In my wildest fantasies then. And my surroundings, have greatly changed! When I was first buried this was a bare field and now it is a grand forest!

My curiosity is getting the better of me. And now I shall need a better look. Within a second I am standing above dirt. What a feeling to be standing after all this time!

The night seems brighter than ever, so different than I remember.

The trees are greener than I remember-A human!

I spin around and am face to face with a young woman about the age of 17.

"'Кто - Вы? Какой год является этим?'' (Who are you? What year is it?)

The girl is staring at me as if I have 2 heads. She screams….If you can call it that.

With a roar in my throat, I tear out her jugular and suck the life out of her.

Her body is limp. I drop it. The girls blood is all over me and Im smiling knowing that her life is now serving the better good. The God of the world…

"'Жалкая трата жизни и места!'' (Pitiful waste of life and space!)

That God is me!

- Gabriel


	2. COME OUT AND PLAY

COME OUT AND PLAY….

September 12th, 2010

I know the sunlight doesn't kill but I don't like it. I wandered around the forest slowly until dawn and then I crawled under the dirt and "slept" again. I prefer the night anyway. It's a time for dark creatures to come out and play. Keep in mind that I say this with a smile. I can feel the sun disappearing beyond the horizon and now it is time to come out and play!

Im running through the forest and towards the sea. I smell the fresh ocean air. And I see- Lights?

I figure that there is a time to learn new things: this isn't that time. All I want to do is eat.

Woah! There is light here, but I see no candles.

Now I am surrounded in a sea of people. Where does this light come from? Why are these people dressed in such an odd manner? What happened to full length skirts and candles and britches? I must have been "sleeping" for longer than I thought. The girls are in short pants made of an odd blue fabric and tight shirts without proper sleeves that also expose their stomachs!

And the men, there clothes don't make much sense at all! Short pants that reach to the knee but they are very loose fitting. And they too, have shirts with improper sleeves. Some are not even wearing shirts at all!

"'О мой бог! Какие чудеса я пропустил?'' (Oh my god! What wonders have I missed?)

One young man with an odd hair style approaches me, "'Dude! Like, what century are you from? Do you, like, come from planet dork?'" He laughs.

I want to strangle him.

Nobody laughs at me! I make a move towards him but I catch myself, remembering that there are too many people around.

''Номер русского Im, что означает, что я не говорю на английском языке. Теперь уедьте!'' (No. Im Russian, which means I don't speak English. Now leave!)

"'Oh! Your Spanish!,'"He looks bewildered, "It's okay! Everything is very bien! My amigo!'" He shouts at me.

"'Ненормальный.'' (Imbecile.) I turn and walk away. Once I am further away, I stop and look down at my clothes. There is lace at my wrists and at my neck. My britches are tight and I have black knee high boots. In other words: I don't fit in.

Maybe I can spend just a few minutes as another person? Very good then. Now it is time to acquire knowledge!

I back down a dark alley and take off my coat. I call to the person I wish to become. I pretend I am him and then my back is arched. My bones are growing and re-aligning. My muscles shrink, my hair shortens. My old fashioned clothes fall to the ground.

Gabriel is no more. I am Alex.

-Gabriel


	3. SHOP TILL THEY DROP

SHOP TILL THEY DROP…

September 12th, 2010

My name is Alex.

I am 19 years old.

Im wearing blue board shorts and a white under shirt. I have flip flops on my feet. My hair is sandy blonde and my friends call me 'Surfer Dude'!

I walk out of the dark alley. I know where I am! Im at the Wednesday night carnival on the boardwalk! These are rides, and my favorite is the Gravatron. I can go on it all day long and not puke once!

Deep in the back of my mind there is voice, It whispers, "'Направьтесь в ближайший магазин одежды. Слушайте этот голос. Сделайте, поскольку я говорю.'" (Head to the nearest clothing shop. Listen to this voice. Do as I say.)

The voice is in Russian but I know what its saying. I walk to the nearest shop: Surf's Up!

"'Alex! Welcome back, kid! What can I do ya for?'" says my older sister, Laila.

"' Hey, Sis!'" The voice tells me to leave. It doesn't like these clothes. "'Later, Laila!'" she looks annoyed as I abruptly turn and walk out.

All the sudden, Im not in control of my limbs. IT took over. IT walks past every store I want to go in.

We stop at one, though. It's called: Blood.

"'Well, Well, Well. If it isn't the 'surfer dude'!'" Says a taunting voice.

Oh no! I think, It's Kevin!

Kevin and I are enemies when it comes to surfing.

"'Хороший. Я люблю проблемы. '" (good. I love challenges.) is what the voice thinks.

"'Im just here for some clothes.'" I hear myself say.

Kevin looks surprised but lets me continue shopping. On my way to the back I pass a case of guns. In a flash it's in my hand, loaded and ready for action!

I end up grabbing ripped jeans, black combat boots and a black muscle shirt. I drop the stuff on the counter.

"'Can you just make sure the shoes are the same size?'" Kevin is so busy being angry at me that he doesn't notice me step behind him.

"'A hundred dollars.'" He says.

He doesn't notice me press the gun to the back of his head until I say, "'I don't pay for the things I want, I just take them.'" I am shocked to hear those words leave my mouth but IT takes great pleasure in hearing them.

Kevin doesn't have time to say anything. My mouth is biting into his throat. I am completely disgusted by this! Yet, a small part of me likes it. I let his blood splatter onto my new shirt. The clothes go in a shopping bag. The gun goes in my pants.

The little bell rings as I open and close the door.

Where are we going now? I ask frantically.

'Surfs up' ,Dude. is all he replies.

My sister starts yelling at me the moment I walk in her store:

"Blood? You went to Blood? What is wrong with you? You hate Kevin! How much did that junk cost?"

"Just a hundred dollars." I say as the gun becomes pointed at my sister.

"'Alex, what are you doing?" Laila is scared, the voice knows that and lives off her fear.

"Please put the gun away! Im sorry I yelled at you, it's just that Dad is broke and we need to save all the money we can."

"'What Dad needs," the voice says, "'is one less mouth to feed."

And just like that there is a bullet in my sisters head. She falls to the floor with my name on her lips. I grab the money from the cash register and run back to the dark alley where this all began.

I drop the bag to the ground. The voice is louder than before and all consuming! I have no control anymore. Bones grow, my muscles expand, my hair grows and darkens. My old fashioned clothes are back. Gabriel is back.

I put on my new clothes with Kevin's blood still splattered on the shirt. No one will know it's blood.

'''Я думаю, что я буду пробовать Gravatron.''' (I think I'll try the Gravatron.) I walk out of the alley and wait on a line.

-Gabriel


	4. SUPERSTITION

SUPERSTITION

September 13th, 2010

Apparently, today is Friday the 13th. And also, it is supposedly an unlucky day. My last victims memory tells me that nobody believes in such things anymore…Well then, It is up to me to make them believe!

Today will be the most soul crushing, spirit wrecking day in the lives of the people of Fairview, Pennsylvania. I am going to murder and maul and mutilate. I am going to make them beg for their lives. I am going to make them wish they never left the house. There shall be no mercy! I am now in Fairview, it is small and therefore will cause much grief and terror for the people…My dinner. I hear music off into the woods. And I smell my prey. They are all sitting in a circle around a fire. They are all laughing and talking of their lives. I wonder why they talk of such things and I wonder if I would prefer a young woman or a young man for my first kill? The choice has been made: a young man. He has gotten up and started- oh! He is also bringing a young woman for me! Hhhmm I shall let him live for a few seconds longer, the girl will die first. I shrink into the shadows and run along the tree tops until I am just above the couple who has started kissing. The boy is leaning against the tree and holding the girl. I reach my arm down and in half a second the girl is in my hands. My teeth are upon her throat, her blood is upon my lips. I leave the body in the trees and jump down to stand in front of the boy. All this happened in a second and he hasn't notice the girl has gone missing. I lean in to kiss him. (Don't get me wrong! I am in no way shape or form attracted to my own gender! I love a good lady as much as the next man…I just enjoy theatrics and scaring the wits out of people.) We are kissing for about a moment until he realizes that lips aren't the only thing he is touching. He pulls back and opens his eyes. He screams and his eyes go wide. Forget about the fact that he was just kissing a man, it's more important that the man has blood on him! All the sudden something falls upon his head, he stops screaming. Thinking it is rain he looks up and more of the mysterious liquid falls into his face. He wipes it off with his hands and looks at it. He starts screaming again because blood is upon him. He looks up, and this time he is staring into the face of the girl, a trickle of blood escaping from her lip. The boy sinks to the ground and starts crying.

"' Что заставило Вас думать, что Вы были безопасны в лесу?'" (What made you think you were safe in the woods?)

"" What?'" the boy says through many tears.

"' I said, 'What makes you think you were safe in the woods?'" I say in English laced with my heavy Russian accent, "'After all, don't you know that bad things happen in the woods?'"

"It-It's Friday the 13th,'" Stammers the boy.

"'All the more reason for you to have stayed hidden under your bed at home.'"

"'Nobody believes in that anymore! It's j-just superstition!'" He wails. He is nervous and I am glad.

"'Yeah, well look what happens when nobody believes in superstition.'" I disappear from his sight but he still hears me, "' The werewolves, witches and monsters come out to play,'" He is screaming for me to stop.

"'The wolves feast upon living flesh. The witches brew with angry souls. The Dead crawl out of graves and seek revenge upon the living.'"

"'Is that wh-what you are? The Dead?'"

"I am the Living Dead.'" I muse.

"'I saw that movie and things don't go so well.'"

"That was just a movie though, this is real life. The difference is that at the end of a movie the lights go on and the credits roll across the screen. There is no happy ending for you. The lights will never go on again and the only place where people will see your name is on a tomb stone.'"

"'Please! Oh, God! Please help me!'"

"'Your friends do not here you. They cannot help you. And even God, my friend, cannot save you now. The Vampires walk at night and take the souls of the living.'"

"V-v-vampires? You're a v-v-va-'"

"A Vampire!'"

"'Superstition is a bitch!'" The boy cries.

I lunge at his throat and tear at his insides. When I am done, his eyes are wide open and there is a hole where his heart should be.

"'Именно это Вы получаете для того, чтобы быть живым. '" (That is what you get for being alive.)

Slowly I kill off the rest of the humans. None of my other kills take as long as the first…that is, until I reach the last:

There are now only two girls left. The rest of their friends are dead. I decided to scare them to Hell and beyond. I break branches and utter deep growls from my chest. I wail and moan and tell them I am coming for them. They are huddling together, afraid for there own lives but pretending to care about the other. I jump into the tree tops, without a sound. They don't know where I have gone. I am standing over the fire and I make it go out. Steam rises, the girls scream and run! The moon is hidden behind clouds as they run to pure darkness. I leap down and silently kill one of the girls. The other notices something is wrong, her friend is missing. Again, I disappear. The moon comes out the remaining girl finds her friend's body torn to shreds. She takes a step back and steps in a puddle. She looks down to her foot and finds that it was a puddle of blood. She looks all around her. And everywhere she looks, her friend's deceased bodies are strewn about the ground, some of their blood is splattered over the ground, their insides are hung about on tree branches and bushes.

She is crying and calling to me to just kill her. For some reason I cannot bear to torment her anymore. I feel like my heart is beating! Something it has not done for many, many years. She asks me to come out. I feel like I cannot deny her. I feel that if she were to ask for the world I would have no other option than to give it to her, and that I would want to keep her safe with all my heart!

The moon rises high and shines brighter than before as I step into the middle of the clearing.

She gasps, at my appearance no doubt.

In a voice as clear as bells she whispers, "'Who are you?'"

I sigh. Her voice is what I would imagine an angels to be! I cannot let her know that she enchants me though, "'It is always the same questions:'" I pronounce each word calmly and slowly in my rich accent, '"Who are you?' 'What are you doing?' 'Why are you doing this to me?' You humans need to come up with better questions.'" I still haven't moved closer to her, but I have not moved away either. Her gaze keeps me grounded, almost like my next move depends on her will.

"'I meant it when I asked you though. Who are you? What is your name?'" She doesn't sound afraid any more. Curse my delectable Russian accent!

"'Gabriel.'"

"'Like the angel! How sweet!'"

"'Sweet…'" I echo, "'It is not sweet. When you say 'angel' I hope you mean angel of hell.'"

"'No. I do not.'" She sounds completely calm as if she were talking to an old friend. But she also sounds strong, as if standing up for what she believes in.

"' I am a Vampire. By right you should be afraid of me.'"

"I don't think I am,'" Five words I had never expected to hear in my life, "'Come closer. Into the light so I can see you.'"

I did as she commanded. I did not flit to her side instantly, I slowly walked so she could get used to my appearance. Walking to her, I began to feel fear myself. And this feeling released a terror inside of me I never imagined I would feel.

I was now three feet in front of her but the heat radiating off her body made me feel closer.

"'You're beautiful,'" I laughed and she smiled. She likes my laugh, "'And you do not have the slightest resemblance of a Vampire.'"

I grabbed her hand, she shuddered, "'That is because you haven't the slightest idea of what they look like.'"

"'They have fangs-'"

"'I have fangs!'" I felt a sense of pride in them.

"'Then let me see them.'"

I opened my mouth and let them slide down.

She laughed. In a single laugh I heard bells ringing.

"'Those? Why, those are nothing but baby fangs!'"

"'They are perfectly normal in every respect, I assure you!'" I calmed down, "'What is your name?'"

"'Johanna.'"

"'Johanna…'" I echoed. It was the most beautiful name I ever heard! Perhaps as beautiful as my own daughter's….

"'I can't let you live-'"

"Take me with you.'"

"'What?'" I was completely shocked. And also the slightest bit happy. And quite afraid.

She put her hand to my chest, "'Take me with you. You don't scare me and to be honest you fascinate me.'"

I tried to scare her with a vampire face and vampire movement, "'Fear me! For I am a vampire! And I will suck your blood!'" I was behind her when I grabbed her head and exposed her throat.

Her blood rushed the tiniest bit faster and I was fascinated with her jugular, but I did not want to rip it out.

She escaped out of my grasp and rose onto her tiptoes to kiss me on the lips…blood and all!

We stayed in a passionate kiss. The kiss had a single tear of blood roll down my cheek and That tear stayed on me when I brought my mouth to her neck and sucked. After a few minutes, I hardly heard her heart beat. I carefully lowered her to the ground and gingerly kissed the space in-between her clavicles. It left a bloody kiss mark.

My blood tear had dried on my cheek. I gave one last glance at Johanna and said a short prayer to God. Or to anybody who would listen to protect that girl. To protect Johanna wherever she was being sent. I turned and walked away from the one person who had EVER made me feel something.

-Gabriel


	5. FROM THE VIEW OF THE VOLTURRI

From The View of The Volturri…

September 15th, 2010

"'Yes brothers, I know we have to stop him.'"

"'He is a destruction to our entire vampire world!'" Caius chimed.

"'It might not be the lads fault,'" Aro mused, "'Perhaps he does not know that he lives in our world.'"

"There is a punishment for that, brother.'" Marcus huffed.

"'We call it death, Masters.'" Jane added from across the room.

"'Now, Jane, Darling, Jane, Don't you think you are being to hasty with your decisions? After all, he might have a wonderful talent!'" Aro giggled.

"'Are you saying you wish to keep him, Master?'" Jane said in a panicky voice.

"'Perhaps,'" Aro whispered.

"'You already know what you are going to do, Brother.'" Marcus said to end the conversation.

"' You are quite right, Marcus. Very well, my mind has been made. Jane?'"

"'Master?'" She replied.

"'Bring us the one called Gabriel.'"

"'As you wish, Master.'" Jane turned and walked out of the great hall. Immediately, she went looking for Demetri and Felix.

"' The Masters asked me to take care of a certain matter.'"

"'Then what do you want with me, Jane?'" Demetri asked.

"'Take Felix and go in search of the vampire called Gabriel.'"

"'Why us-?'" Demetri began.

"'DON'T QUESTION ME! YOU GO BECAUSE I TELL YOU TO GO!'" Jane yelled.

"'Fine, we shall leave right away. But you shouldn't be sore at us because you drove your own brother from yourself,'" If it were possible, Jane might have turned an angry shade of purple, "'Just remember that anger and malice doesn't look good on anyone. Well, that's what I thought until I met you.'" With a hate filled glance towards Jane, Demtri collected Felix and left Volterra.

Not knowing what Gabriel smelled like, Demetri and Felix headed to Fairview, Pennsylvania to gather scents from the most recent crime scene. Once they both had a scent that wasn't human, they followed it all the way to Florida. When they stopped running, they were standing in the midst of many humans.

"'Demetri-'"

"'I do not see him either, Felix.'" They were both looking around for the mysterious vampire.

"I smell him, yet I do not see him. I do not see anything that resembles a vampire.'"

A young girl with blonde hair giggled and darted in front of them.

"'Demetri, I think I shall go mad if my sense of smell doesn't work!'"

"'Hush! It works, we are just facing a clever vampire,'"

Felix and Demetri spend the rest of the night looking for Gabriel but they still fail to find him.

"'Let us hope that we find our masters in a kind mode.'" Demetri stated.

"'And Jane as well,'" Felix commented. They raced back to Volterra. As soon as they were safely inside the grand palace, they ran into Jane…literally.

"'Where is he? Where is Gabriel?'" Jane demanded.

"'We couldn't find him.'" they both said and bowed their heads.

Surprisingly, Jane was quite, but her power wasn't. Demetri and Felix felt her power in full blast as she yelled at them, "' WHY CAN'T YOU DO THE MOST SIMPLE TASK OF BRINGING BACK ANOTHER VAMPIRE? YOU HAVE DONE IT MANY TIMES ALREADY! AND DO YOU KNOW WHO WILL TAKE THE BLAME FOR YOUR FAIL? I WILL! I HAVE TOO! AND IF I GO DOWN, YOU TWO GO WITH ME!'"

She ended their pain and dragged them to the great hall where Aro, Marcus, and Caius were seated.

"'Masters,'" they all breathed in unison.

"'Oh my darlings! I am so glad to see you all standing here. Now, where is our guest?'" Aro asked excitedly.

"'Master, Felix and Demetri have failed in bringing you what you ask for. I am sorry for there incompetence.'"

"'Oh..'" Aro became disappointed.

"'YOU were to bring Gabriel, Jane! Not them.'"

"'Master Marcus, I just thought I could send-'"

"'You thought wrong, Jane.'" Caius added.

"'Perhaps, Darling Jane, you are losing your touch? And perhaps we should punish you for this?'"

"'Yes,'" breathed his brothers.

"'No!'" Jane screeched, "'I shall go looking for Gabriel! I WILL bring him back!'"

"'You have 24 hours. Now go.'"

"Yes. I will not fail you. Master, what is known about this Gabriel?'"

"'Not much, my pet, not much.'"

Jane bowed and exited the hall with Felix and Demetri at her heels.

All three of them raced out of Volterra and were in Florida by midnight.

"'Split up. Felix and Demetri go together.'"

They didn't question her and did as they were told.

Jane followed his scent. She found herself in a beautiful house on the beach. The first room she saw was the pool house. And in that pool house she saw bodies and blood.

"'Where there are bodies and blood, there is a vampire.'" She mused.

As if right on cue, she saw someone run for the exit,. She spun her body to face the person and said, "'Pain,'" the person fell to the ground and shrieked in agony. Without taking her eyes off him, Demetri and Felix rushed in and took his arms in there hands.

"'That is him. That is Gabriel.'" Once all four of them were safely out of the house, Jane lit a match and set fire to the house.

"'Im bored. Let's go home.'" She said

"'Oh! Delightful! Show him in, show him in!'"

Jane bowed, the giant double doors swung open and Felix and Demetri walked in with a struggling , screaming Gabriel.

"'What a pleasure to meet you, Friend.'" Aro smiled.

"'A pleasure,'" his brothers mimicked.

"' Хорошо это не удовольствие встретить Вас!'" (well it isn't a pleasure to meet you!) Gabriel spat at Aro's feet.

"'You will be kind to your Master!'" Jane sent pain his way.

"'Jane, please! This is no way to treat our guest,'" she stopped the pain, "'Welcome to Volterra! If you don't know us, we are the Volturi-'"

"'О, я знаю о Вас... Aro. '" (Oh, I know of you…Aro.) Gabriel gave a satanic smile.

"'Pleas do not interrupt! Jane?'" Gabriel yelled in pain, "'Enough. You are correct: I am Master Aro and these are my brothers, Masters Caius and Marcus. Together, we rule the entire vampire world!'"

"' Whoop-de-doo!'" Gabriel said sarcastically. Jane sent more pain his way.

"'Tsk-tsk-tsk. The more you annoy me, the more pain Jane will cause you. It is our job to keep the amazing talents of our vampire brethren a secret.'"

"'почему? '" (Why?) Jane got ready to blast him again.

"'No, Jane. He asked a valid question.'"

"'Tell him to speak English, Master!'"

"'No. All that matters is that my brothers and I can understand him. Do you realize that what you have done is considered a crime?'"

"' Да. Я фигурировал так. Я не делаю seewhy, Вы делаете такие смешные правила, все же. Мы - вампиры! Боги мира!'" (Yes. I figured so. I do not see why you make such ridiculous rules, though. We are vampires! Gods of the world!)

"'Yes, and it is that attitude that will make you perish.'" He nodded to Felix and Demetri. They grabbed his head.

"'Perhaps, Friend. But I will not perish today.'" Using his vampire age and speed, Gabriel shrugged free of their grasp. He darted across the room.

"'Grab him!'" Jane yelled. Demetri and Felix followed pursuit.

Jane followed the whirl of black and concentrated. Felix fell to the ground.

"'Damnit! Hold still and don't get in my way!'" She saw the figure slow and shot him with an agonizing bolt of pain. He fell to the ground and Felix and Demetri were upon him. They brought him back in front of Aro.

"'Commence.'" He said.

Demetri grabbed his head and Felix pulled his hood off. Just as Demetri was about to twist, Aro cried, "'Stop! Stop! What are you doing with my brother?'"

Demetri and Felix looked down, In there grasp was Master Caius! His blonde hair in a tangle and his red eyes wide with fear.

"'Release him instantly!'" Aro cried.

"'Thank you, Brother.'" He said as the guards let him go, "'Now, Now Jane. How shall I go about punishing you for striking me with that bolt of pain?'"

"'But, But, but? Aro! I swear that he was Gabriel!'"

"'Jane! Such a viscous act cannot be frowned upon!'" The other Caius strolled forward to stand next to his look-alike, "'Am I right, Caius? And Marcus? And other Caius?'"

Aro paused. And jumped.

"'Caius? And Caius? Ah! Two Caius's? No, this cannot be- How?'"

The entire room stood still. Both of the Caius's looked at each other. Neither of them said anything.

"'Master? How can there be two Master Caius's?'"

"'There are not, Felix. One of them is our friend Gabriel, I believe. Let us ask a question to each of them to decide which Caius is real and which Caius is fake.'"

"'Brother, you must believe it is me! I am the real Caius!'" One said.

"'Brother, you are foolish if you cannot tell I am your true brother.'"

"'Silence! Both of you!'" Marcus added.

"'You, What is Master Caius's wife's name?'" Jane asked.

"'MY wife's name is Athenodora.'" Said the first Caius.

Aro and Marcus looked at their guards.

"'He is right,'" Jane whispered.

"'What is one of Master Caius's worst fears?'" Felix asked.

"'Felix, I do not wish for a stranger to know of my weaknesses.'"

"'We shall kill the stranger afterwards.'" Aro muttered.

"'Very well then, My worst fear is that of when I almost died in a fight with a werewolf about 2000 years ago.'"

"'He is right.'" All were silent.

Aro approached the second Caius and offered his hand, "'You are my Brother. Come now to your throne.'" The second Caius placed his hand in Aro's, Aro clenched onto his hand, reading his thoughts.

"'This is Gabriel.'" Aro giggled with delight.

Demetri grabbed him.

"'Ahahaha! Very wonderful!'" Aro was giddy with excitement.

"'How did you know it was me?'" Gabriel said back in his normal body.

"'I have the power to know every thought a person has ever had in one touch. I heard another voice commanding you. Caius, you may take a seat here.'" Caius went back to his throne.

"'I am very curious about your power, Gabriel. Well, let us make a deal, shall we?'"

"' I am listening.'" He said with his Russian accent.

""I wish to study you, or rather, your power. Stay here-'"

"'Master!'" Jane screeched.

Aro ignored her, "'Stay here with us as part of our guard and let me study you.'"

"'And what do I get?'" Gabriel grumbled.

"'You get to keep your life…as long as you prove useful and cooperative.'" Aro signaled Felix and Demetri.

"'Bring him to his room, he will be staying for a while. Third floor and seventh door.'" All three of them left. Once they were out of earshot, Aro turned to Jane.

"'I want you to watch him, my dear. Alert me of anything. And keep close to his room, he is very dangerous and not to be left unattended.'"

Jane bowed and left the room.

"'We certainly have a handful now.'" Marcus said.

"'A very clever and useful handful,'" Caius said.

"'Intriguing,'" Aro mused as he sat in his throne.

-Gabriel


	6. LOCKED AWAY

LOCKED AWAY…

September 20th, 2010

I am hungry. They haven't fed me for five days! Idiots! What is wrong with them? One of the guards (I forget which, and it doesn't matter) slipped a little bottle into the room. I drank it instantly, of course, then spat it back out. It was disgusting! I can tell it was NOT human. Why do they force me to drink that shit? (I learned that word from when I was a part of Alex.)

I have tried to escape. I consider my first attempt the most feeble one:

I was pacing about my room for about 4 hours and started banging on the door. I thought it would fall down with one punch, I was wrong. The doors are made out of steel! (These are vampires that live here so of course wood is nothing to them.) So I continued banging, and what became even more odd to me was the fact that no one was telling me to be quite! I didn't receive any threats or anything! I sat down and stared at the door for a while, almost willing someone to enter. I got up and twisted the handle…the door was open. What luck! I opened it and took one step out. Let's just say that it was the most agonizing step of my life! Jane was standing outside waiting for me…I hate her…

I felt pain and fell back into the room.

"'No prison breaks aloud,'" Jane muttered as she shut my door.

I lay on the floor staring at the ceiling. How could I possibly think that they would make things that easy for me? It was so humiliating! I suppose the only reason they left the door unlocked was because the most horrible consequence (Jane) would be waiting for me.

My attempts got worse and worse with each try. The windows were barred with more steel. I gave up…for now….I lay back onto the floor and did the only thing I could think to do: think of Johanna.

I called up my best memory of her. Well, my only memory of her. She was beautiful! With long blonde hair and eyes as green as grass, pink lips and rosy red cheeks, she was a picture! I remember what she was wearing as well, tight bell bottom jeans and a Navy colored sweatshirt that exposed her stomach, she had lovely feet. They were bare (im not sure why) but she was just overall lovely!

Without actually meaning to, I Changed. I felt my body shrinking and my hair growing to my lower back. I dragged Johanna's hands down her body and brought them to rest on her thighs. I felt Johanna's beautiful curves. Johanna, well I, stood up and went to the mirror. Surprisingly, I started crying! Thank God they were human tears, Johanna is to pretty to be ruined in blood. I sank to my knees and sat back on my heels, not even considering ending my tears.

The only difference with this shift was that I couldn't feel Johanna's presence in our shared mind. She was dead. I called up her basic information: I am 17 years old. I had no boyfriend (Good. Because I, Gabriel, would kill him). My parents are nice and I love them so much.

"'Достаточно. '" (Enough.) Gabriel went looking for her memories and feelings of him.

"' Нечетный.'" (Odd.) He cannot find any memories about when they first met. Instead, all he felt was warmth.

I sat and looked at Johanna for about 4 hours until it finally became too hard to stay in her body. I changed back and lay on the floor, exhausted. I was trying to figure out if I could have done something to end that night differently? If I could have taken her away? Or made her right there? Or…better yet, to have chosen a different attack site? Having her be alive in the world is better than to never have met her. If she were alive, this world would be a better place…

All the sudden, the door flew open and Jane stood in the door way.

"'I demand you to shift.'" She stated.

"'I am tired.'" I replied dryly.

"'Shift.'" She enforced.

"So by 'demand' you meant as a favor, yes?'" I enjoy getting her worked up.

She blinked her big red eyes, "'Change into my brother.'"

"'What is his name?'" She seemed genuinely sincere.

"'Alec.'" She sighed.

"'Can't. I need to see him or be in a place that still has his essence.'"

Jane roughly grabbed him and brought him to the foyer.

"'There. That's him.'" Jane pointed to a large canvas with a painting of her and her brother.

Gabriel looked into Alec's eyes until that's all he could see. His body shrank, so did the length of his hair.

He was looking at Jane. A million memories rushed to his mind. All of Jane, and all bad. Alec's voice was in his head, "'Bitch! I hate her! Must kill her while I can!'" Alec shouted in their mind.

Jane fell to her knees and wept. Gabriel felt sorry, Alec seemed curious.

Jane looked up to him, her face covered with blood. Gabriel gasped, the scene seemed so familiar. Only, I, Gabriel ( as Johanna And myself) was the one on the floor crying.

I still am not sure what powered me to say this, to say this to someone so evil, but here is what was said:

"'Alec, I am sorry.'" Jane was shaking her head, "'Forgive me.'" She cried more.

I, as Alec, said, "'I am sorry your brother left you.'"

Jane stopped. She stood up and looked me in the eye. I thought perhaps we would have a new understanding, but of course not. Like a rubber band, Jane snapped back into her own self, "'Don't be. Being sorry is for the weak. My brother left Volterra and is therefore weak and not fit to serve the Masters. He is a lost cause.'" She walked past me to some distant part of the palace.

I let Alec's features melt off my body and stared at the painting of them for a while. I was about to come up with some sort of grand explanation or some sentence to sum up my feelings, or perhaps even to- no, never mind. I turned away from the hall of paintings and walked back to my room.

I locked the door. I locked my mind. I locked off my emotions.

I am a killer! I do not feel for people and their own sorry lives!

-Gabriel


	7. THE EXPERIMENTS

THE EXPERIMENTS…

September 22nd, 2010

Someone knocked at my door just after sunset. I half expected it to be Jane but then I realized she wouldn't knock. No, it was Demetri. He grabbed me and escorted me down three floors and into the foyer. It was the hall with the painting of Jane and Alec. But that wasn't the only painting, infact, there were many more. There was one of the three Masters on their thrones, there was one for each of the Masters respectfully, then another one of each master with his mate. Then a painting of the guards, then yet more painting s of the guards with their mates (or in Jane's case, their siblings). There was one painting that struck my curiosity. It wasn't the actual painting per say, it was one of the vampires in it. The painting was of the Masters, obviously, Aro stood more to the front with his hands gracefully poised on the balcony railing. His brothers were not far behind him. And then…there was a blonde haired vampire even further behind them. It looked like he was trying to stay into the shadows but he was respectfully waiting for orders from Aro. He had kind eyes even though they were an odd color. Gold, I believe?

This painting was obviously from a few hundred years ago, the fashion was that of such. Demetri pulled on the edge of the painting, which revealed a door. I walked in of my own free will and Demetri closed the door behind us.

"'This is the secret basement that we have. It is used only for Aro's delights and experiments.'"

"'Experiments, as in me?'" I asked.

"'Well, if that's how you want to look at it, then yes.'"

I whistled, "'Damn this place is big! So you have two basements here?'"

"'Yes. This one for Aro's things and another for weapons.'"

"'So I suppose that Aro, Marcus and Caius go out with all of the guards and feed when they are hungry?'"

"'Do not be ridiculous! Such royalty cannot be seen running through the city! No, we have a group of people brought in and we all feast for dinner,'" Demetri chuckled, "'We make them believe they are being given a tour of the palace but then we lock them in the grand hall and have a blood bath!'" We had reached another door. This one required a key that Demetri had.

"'Welcome, Friends!'" Aro greeted us.

"'Welcome,'" His brothers mimicked.

Demetri went to stand by the rest of the guards: Jane, Felix, Chelsea, and a few others I did not know.

"'Let us get on with the experimenting!'" Aro was excited, "'Share with us what you already know about your extraordinary talent, please.'"

"'Not much. If I want to change into a specific person, I have to be looking at that person or be in a place that still has their essence. Then I get their memory.'"

"'As we know,'" Caius smiled a faint smile.

"'Do you still retain that information after you change back to yourself?'" Jane asked.

"'Yes. For a little while.'"

"'How long can you stay as a certain person?'" Felix asked.

"'I…do not know.'" I sighed. I don't like not knowing things.

"'Then let us find out,'" Caius suggested, "'Become Felix.'"

I did as I was told

"'Does it hurt you to change?'" Marcus asked me. So many questions!

"'Yes. It also takes a lot of my energy.'"

"'If you changed into a human, could you do human things?'" Chelsea asked. I was getting bored. I mean, seriously, what is this? A game of freaking 20 questions?

"'Yes.'" My own desire to acquire knowledge about my power was quickly being outrun by my boredom.

"I am so sorry that we are bombarding you with questions! I am just curious. You have no idea how extremely rare your talent is! Vampires, as a rule, cannot change their bodies. And, well, you can! You are bored. Just a few more hours and then when you can't handle being Felix we will let you go-'"

"'Free?'" I asked hopefully.

"'-Back to your room,'" Aro finished, "'You are not leaving us for a very long time, My Friend.'"

I had to stay as Felix for five hours and that is when things started getting tough. I had a sheen of bloody sweat on my brow but every time I looked like I was going to change back, Jane jolted me with her power. Thanks to Jane's power, I remained in shift for eight hours! A new record! (Not that I have any reason to be someone else for eight hours, but still!) By that time, not even Jane's power could keep me standing. I let my features come back as I fell to the floor.

I was exhausted but apparently, the experiment was not over. Aro bent down and gingerly grabbed my hand.

Most of the stuff he just muttered. It was all things about my ability and etcetera until finally one topic caught my ear: Johanna.

"'What? What did you say about Johanna?'"

"'Oh nothing. I was just musing over the fact that you had an interest in this human girl.'"

"'Perhaps he and Edward should get together?'" Felix laughed.

Edward? Who is this Edward? And why should I meet him?

"'Who is Edward?'" I asked.

My question was ignored, "'Jane, bring him to his room.'" Aro commanded.

I couldn't move so Jane picked me up and helped me to my room.

I held onto the door frame for support.

"'Who is Edward?'"

"'You don't need to know him. He isn't important for you.'"

"'Did he have an interest in a human as well?'"

"'Perhaps you will find out someday. IF you play your cards right, you could be one of us.'"

"'Thanks for helping me to my room, Janie.'" Calling her Janie seemed to ruffle her feathers. She didn't like the kid-like nick name. She just growled and walked away. I guess I was too weak looking to be considered an important subject at the moment.

-Gabriel


	8. RUBADUBDUB, THERE'S BLOOD IN THIS TUB

RUB-A-DUB-DUB, THERE'S BLOOD IN THIS TUB…

September 23rd, 2010

I am so damned hungry! I haven't seen anyone for an entire day! Well, tonight is different! I know that they will be getting ready to feed now, I shall join them.

I stood in front of the mirror and called forth Chelsea's image. She was quite the beautiful lady: My hair grew and became a dark blonde. My figure grew slimmer and curvier. I also became shorter which isn't that shocking (I am much taller than a lot of other people).

My transformation is complete! It is quite amazing how much I look like these people and there is no way for them to tell the difference! I sort of adopt there habits while I become them. HH-mmm Chelsea has nice taste. We are wearing a beautiful, strapless, deep purple colored dress with ruffles in it. Floor length, it is, I must add.

I say 'we' because it takes a few moments for me, Gabriel, to take full control. And even then, I still hear her voice in our head. I hold my chin up high and walk out of my room. No one is guarding me, they are all preparing to feast in the Masters' hall. I run to the door keeping the people from freedom. I push it open and when I do, the room is frozen, all eyes are on me! Like they weren't expecting me to come walking in and like the humans can't believe there is another vampire in this palace.

"'Oh, how kind of you to fit us into your busy schedule, Chelsea.'" Jane spat at me.

"'Dinner is at 11, Chelsea.'" Felix added.

"'I know,'" I said while caressing a woman's head. They were all scared but impressed by my seductive beauty.

Near me was a little table and two chairs and on that table were little wine goblets.

"'Let's eat.'" I growled. I used my fingernails like a knife and slashed the woman's throat. Immediately, there was a wine goblet in my hand, I had the woman bent over with blood rushing out of her throat and into the glass. Damn I have fast reflexes! I didn't spill even one drop!

"'Is that a new technique, "Chelsea"?'" Jane asked suspiciously.

"'Why yes, yes it is.'" I growled.

"'Welcome, Gabriel! I was wondering how long it would take for you to come out and play with us.'" Aro said.

"'Welcome,'" his brothers breathed.

I changed back into myself and sat down in one of the chairs bringing the woman with me. I threw her into the other chair and casually sipped blood out of my glass.

All of this happened with the humans still watching in fear.

All of the sudden, Chelsea walked in wearing her purple dress, "'What is going on?'" She asked, "'What a cruel way to kill somebody!'"

"'Well,'" I lifted the glass to my lips, "'It is a 'blood bath', right, Demetri?'" I finished the glass of blood.

He stood stiff as a rod. And for a few minutes, no one moved or said anything.

"'Then let's bathe.'" Jane said and grabbed the nearest human to her. We all reached for humans and sucked them dry.

Then we competed with each other for the next best picks until the entire hall was filled with corpses.

-Gabriel


	9. PART 1: THE OFFER

PART 1: THE OFFER…

September 24th, 2010

The sun has just set. I love this time of the day, it is the time for new and exciting things to happen! It is time for the Gods of the world to rid it of the weak and the mistakes. The next morning will be better and cleaner, there will be more space in the world.

I miss Johanna. So, as usual, I started off my night by changing into her. I called forth her image, even with my vampire mind, it is becoming harder to remember her. I can feel her slipping away from me.

I can't even remember the color of her eyes, for Gods sake! Were they green? Or blue? Or perhaps it was neither? I can't make Johanna something she is not.

Someone is knocking.

"'Войти. '" (Enter.)

It was Jane, "'The Masters wish to talk to speak with you.'" She paused, "'Now.'" She added hastily.

I can tell Jane had almost forgotten to say 'now'. She really is a sweet girl. Quite adorable.

I got up and stood, "'О какой? '" (About what?)

"'I don't understand Russian.'" She looked down and fussed with her hands.

"'How about Italian?'" In a second I closed the distance between us. She had to look up in order to see my eyes, "'Avete capito italiana, bella donna? '" (Do you understand Italian, Fine Woman?)

"'Sì, lo so. Nessuno ha mai mi ha chiamato una 'bella donna' prima. '" (Yes, I do. Nobody has ever called me a 'fine woman' before.)

"' Beh, forse dovrebbero, Janie '" (Well, maybe they should, Janie) I brushed past her and ran to the great hall.

"'Aro, Marcus, Caius,'" I nodded in greeting, "' О чем Вы желали видеть меня?'" (What did you wish to see me about?)

"'We've quite a treat for you,'" Caius smiled. I feel that he likes me for some reason! He always smiles when I am around, something he never used to do (so Alec's memories had told me).

I turned to Marcus, looking to see what he would say, "'Quite a shock,'" He mumbled. Coming from Marcus, that seemed like such a compliment!

"'Aro, пожалуйста скажите мне, что продолжается? '" I asked. (Aro, please tell me what is going on?)

I looked around, surprisingly, none of the guards were present. None! Not even Janie! I must have had a questioning look on my face.

"'A very rare thing is happening. Well,'" he laughed, "'it wouldn't appear so lately!'"

"'Brother, get to the point.'" Marcus muttered.

"'Oh, yes! Please, do!'" Caius urged. Excitement from Caius! This must be grand news!

""Скажите мне. Что случается? '" (Tell me. What is happening?).

"'My Brothers and I have reached an important decision. We have examined you and your power and find both to be quite useful!'"

"'Сэр? '" (Sir?).

"'We wish for you to join the Volturri. To join Us as part of our guard.'" Aro smiled.

"'You would have many benefits! You would also be given a position of high power! You could call yourself our 'right hand man'!'" Caius explained.

"' Что относительно Джейн?'" (What about Jane?)

For some reason it felt wrong to take away what was Jane's. I couldn't take this from her. She had already lost her brother, and I too know what it is like to lose a loved one…

"'Don't you fret about Jane, Friend.'" Caius smiled.

"'She will still retain her position of power. You two shall just be co-workers! I am sure that by now you know of the trouble with Jane and her brother?'" I nodded. "' Well, perhaps you could be that missing part of her! A fill in for her twin? Perhaps you could make her suffering go away and she could come back to us? Fully back to us, that is?'"

I thought for a moment. Spending more time with Jane? It seems nice. Wait! Am I wishing to court Jane? Or as humans would say it: am I 'crushing' on Jane? Maybe she could teach me to be stronger? This whole idea seems so un-realistic! Well… then again…I am an un-realistic thing (a vampire).

"' Я должен буду думать об этом.'" (I shall have to think about it.)

Marcus went to open his mouth, to protest most likely. Probably planning to say that they are Kings and do not wait for me.

"'Of course! Take as long as you need! But think that, the sooner you accept, the sooner you are welcomed into our family.'"

"' Я доберусь, чтобы встретить всех вампиров, живущих здесь?'" (Will I get to meet all of the vampires living here?)

"'Of course! Why shouldn't you? We keep no secrets here, Friend'" Caius replied.

I nodded and waited for them to dismiss me. They didn't.

"'A hunting party is waiting for you.'"

A hunting party? Im getting out?

"'Perhaps it will show you what the future holds for you if you join our coven? We trust you not to run away, now.'" Aro smiled. "'Go now! Jane, Demetri, Felix, Chelsea and Tristan are waiting for you!'"

Tristan? Who is this guy? Too many 'friends'.

"'Be merry! Rejoice! And Kill!'" Caius and Aro chimed as I ran to meet the group in front of the palace.

I stood right next to Jane.

"'Are you ready?'" She asked.

I nodded.

"' Run with us.'" Jane ran and I ran after her. So did Tristan. What is his deal?

He doesn't matter. I am here with Janie and I am running after her!

-Gabriel


	10. PART 2: THE ACCEPTANCE

PART 2: THE ACCEPTANCE…

Night of September 24th, 2010

It's nice to feel the wind pushing my hair past my shoulders. It is nice to run just for the heck of it. I am not just out here to hunt, I am out here because it means freedom! The guy known as Tristan is running next to me. His eyes have never once left Jane.

Ah Janie! She is quite lovely. Her beautiful blonde hair has come undone and is flying in the wind. Her hair is different from Johanna's…shorter and a lighter color.

I remember perhaps thinking that I might fancy Jane. After all, Jane does remind me of Johanna. I am not sure why! Jane looks younger, she is shorter, her hair isn't the same as Johanna's! But yet, there is that appeal! Would kissing Jane be like kissing Johanna? Or would it be better? Jane would be able to kiss me back with the same ferocity I could kiss her. Would her lips feel soft and un-touched like Johanna's?

I sped up so I was running next to Jane. She looked over and showed the tinniest bit of surprise. She wasn't expecting me. Who then? Was it Tristan?

Jane glanced behind her at Tristan and smiled. I bumped into her (yes, on purpose!) and she glared at me trying to say 'Don't mess with me'. I turned down an empty street on the left. The group followed me and we found ourselves in the midst of a small party. There were quite a few people with blaring music and bright lights, the people were thrashing wildly about.

I can tell Jane, Felix, and Demetri were nervous about this encounter, but Tristan and Chelsea looked excited (and not just for the hunt). They looked like they wanted an encounter with people. So that's what I gave them.

They followed me into the sea of people, Jane never went to far from me. I think it was because she wasn't sure how to act around people other than to kill them. We all danced and flirted (most of us. Jane probably didn't know how.). Jane got a little angry when she saw Tristan luring a beautiful red head away to her death. I even went through so much trouble as to find a couple drunk humans for Jane, Felix, Demetri and myself. They tasted decent enough, but it wasn't the taste of there blood I was after, it was the buzz of the alcohol. And trust me- those three needed that buzz! Especially Felix and Demetri! All they do is stand stiff and follow orders! I have never seen them do anything but that! Jane seemed to enjoy the party and the human boy I gave to her.

"' Ti piace la festa, bella donna?'" (Are you enjoying the party, Fine Woman?).

"'Sì, certo. '" (Yes, Of course.) Jane answered.

"' Dance. Sii felice! '" (Dance. Be happy!) I shouted.

She laughed as I danced off with another girl.

Okay, So I am not sure if this was the smartest move, but I did it anyway:

I let go of her when Jane wasn't looking and hid behind a corner. I thought of Tristan's appearance and willed for my body to change to match his. It did. I quickly skimmed his thoughts and apparently, he and Jane are mates! Or almost mates. I don't object to that but I don't like it either. Tristan is too nice and too…human for her. She needs a god! Someone powerful and blood thirsty! Someone to match her own self.

I strolled back to the party and looked for the real Tristan, he wasn't to be seen. Must still be off with that other girl I thought. Jane locked eyes with me.

"'Tristan?'" She mouthed.

I winked and ran away. I knew she would follow…and so she did. I ran until we were in the country outside of town. I had already decided on a lovely place for my little drama: It was on this bridge over a beautiful stream with clear blue water reflecting the stars above. It was a perfect night! So clear and…everything Jane deserves. It was a full moon and billions of twinkling stars hanging overhead! The perfect background for my performance. There were two willow trees on both ends of the bridge. I ran up the bridge and stopped in the middle. Jane stopped to and I turned around.

"'Tristan-'" Jane began.

I put my finger to my lips, Jane stopped talking.

In a second I was holding Jane's body to my own, I bent down and pushed my lips against hers, she pushed hers against mine. Stone to stone. Right away, I let Tristan's features melt off my body, I wanted all of this kiss to be with my own lips.

We just stood there for a while, pushing each other harder and faster with our lips. This couldn't have gone on long enough! I wanted more but the whole set changed when Jane went to tangle her hand in my hair and found that it was longer than Tristan's. Just like that, she was standing back a few steps. Looking at me with those wide eyes.

I smiled. She was pissed. I saw two emotions in her eyes before I ran: anger and….something else. I am not sure what the second emotion was but I couldn't stay to figure it out. I ran.

As fast as I could, I ran back to the party and told Felix I was going back to Volterra, he didn't care, he was having fun. I scoffed, 'fun at my own party! While I am running away like a coward!'

I ran back to the cathedral like steps and through the hall of paintings. I made a quick detour at the great hall.

"'Masters, I accept your offer!'" I blurted. I left before they could say anything and found myself locking the door to my room.

I went to the window and looked out, some of the night was obscured by the bars that kept me trapped here.

"'What have I done?'" I asked the stars.

-Gabriel


	11. I HAD IT ALL THE RISE AND THEN THE FALL

I HAD IT ALL- THE RISE AND THEN THE FALL…

October 2nd, 2010

I don't wish to talk about what is happening now. So I will tell you what has already happened. This is only a piece of my past:

The year is One thousand three hundred and ninety (1390 AD). I live in Staraja, Russia. And am one of the wealthiest families in the country. I believe our last name was Riabushinskii. Also pronounced ' Ryabushinsky'.

They called me 'Gavril Riabushinskii' ('Gavril' in Russian is the English equivalent of 'Gabriel'). I have a mother and a father and three brothers and one sister. The names of my brothers are Nikolai (who was the oldest at 35), Filip (who came second at 32), and Yasha (who was 30). This left me as the youngest of my brothers yet, thankfully, I was older than my sister Galina (who was 20 at the time of my…ahem…departure). I adored Galina! And trust me, she lived up to the meaning of her name, "calm and serene", she was lovely! And that was why I never loved another girl since! None could take the place of my sister…or my wife. I was to be married to Natalia in 1385, I was twenty three and I was considered an man at the time. Well, I didn't think of myself as an old man and did not wish to settle down yet. I tried everything possible to get away from marrying Natalia. I drank all the liquor in my site and staggered home at all odd hours. That didn't provoke a reaction from anyone except my mother, she said the devil was manifesting itself inside my body. My father laughed and said, "'Ерунда! Мальчик наконец вырастает и экспериментирует с мужественными вещами! '" (Nonsense! The boy is finally growing up and experimenting with manly things.) My brother Filip said, "'Дьявол не может проявляться внутри Gavril! Его Бог 'средств названия - моя сила!' '"(The devil cannot be manifesting himself inside Gavril! His name means 'God is my strength!) He laughed.

My mother ignored them both but said, "' Дьявол не мог бы быть человеком! Возможно это - женщина!'" (The devil might not be a man! Perhaps it is a woman!).

'A woman?' I thought to myself. And so it shall be! The next week I ran away two towns over and paid a couple of whores. I spent over a month there doing unspeakable things in hopes that my family would hear of this and disown me or forbid my marriage on grounds of my sanity. I had no such luck…My oldest, wisest, and favorite brother came and found me, I woke up late one afternoon in a bed (of course not remembering what I did the night before or how I got back there!) and found my brother Nikolai sitting in a chair with his legs crossed.

"'Nikolai-'" I began, then found myself leaning over the bed throwing up.

"' Не говорите, молодой. Только слушайте. Мы тоскуем без Вас-'" (Do not talk, young one. Just listen. We miss you-).

"' Отец не тоскует без меня. И я не тоскую без его!'" (Father does not miss me. And I do not miss him!).

I went to stand up but fell over, Nikolai catching me.

"' Вы получили себя в настоящий беспорядок, брата. Сядьте и позвольте мне говорить с Вами. Теперь, я собираюсь отводить Вас домой, Вы собираетесь отрезвляться! И Вы должны спуститься с прохода с Наталией и должны иметь удачливую, веселую жизнь! Вы понимаете?'" (You have gotten yourself into quite a mess, brother. Sit down and let me talk to you. Now, I am going to take you home, you are going to get sobered up! And you shall walk down the aisle with Natalia and have a fortunate, merry life! Do you understand?).

I nodded.

Nikolai picked me up and we traveled back to Staraja. I don't know how but somehow the family managed to keep my travels a secret. A month later, my family thought I was sober and so I walked down the aisle with Natalia. And we became husband and wife.

That night, our daughter was conceived.

She was named Catia (meaning Katy). And I loved her, more than anything.

Looking back on my life, I should have been nicer and more attached to my family. But I wasn't:

I continued to drink (though, I never hurt my family), I disowned all my family except my wife, child, and brother Nikolai, and I gambled. Another favorite pastime of mine was…suicide. Trying to die.

Many times I played Russian Roulette with guns: loading them and firing them at my head to see if they would go off. As you can tell, they didn't go off. I tried cheating at cards, hoping my opponents would get angry and finish me off. I also tried hanging myself….the rope broke as soon as I kicked the chair from under me. I was getting very frustrated! Five years had past and Catia and I were on our way back from town. We hadn't realized how late it was until it was too late…it was dark.

Now, of course there were legends of vampires…they weren't taken as seriously as they should have been….we didn't even know they walked in the sunlight with us!

Her name was Kali. Kali killed my daughter in front of my eyes. There was nothing I could have done against a monster like her! I fought her I did! But she sent me home without a scratch…well, a physical scratch, meanwhile my heart was torn to shreds. Kali wanted my wife to think I had let something happen to Catia. And she did. We fought, well she did. I stood there wondering what I could do to change things?

Three days later we had Catia's funeral. As they lowered her remains (very few of them. Shreds of her body.) into the ground, I felt the last bit of my sanity dry up. I went insane. So insane that one night I even dug up her grave and laid with her remains. Every night I walked until I could pass out, looking for Kali. Not knowing if I would rather murder her or rather her murder me so I could be with my beautiful girl. Her long perfect curls, her bright pink cheeks and green eyes…just like mine. She looked just like me.

In a way, I got what I wanted: Kali killed me. But it was a never ending death, for everyone.

My first victim was my father, the man who never believed in me, the man whose fault this was! I enjoyed that one.

The second kill was Natalia: The woman who gave my Catia! The woman who gave me something I cared so much about! How dare she give me something that ended up hurting me so!

Third, was my brother, Nikolai: He was the one who kept me grounded. The one who brought me to marry Natalia, the one who found me when I could have become nothing and no one playing around with whores two towns away!

From then on, I had no friends. I didn't need them. People only cause pain and suffering!

All I wanted, was for the world to bleed the way my beautiful little girl had! God took away the one thing I loved, and he would pay for that! He would pay!

-Gabriel


	12. AGAIN

AGAIN…

October 4th, 2010

I have refused to come out of my room since the night of the 24th (Well there was that one time I stood with Jane for a while with the Masters, but that was it!). Especially when it was Jane trying to break down the door. Not even requests from the Masters have made me move. I once thought of shifting into Jane, that way I could read her thoughts on my having kissed her. I quickly forgot that idea. I took a vow right then and there, a vow that said I, Gabriel, would never Shift into Jane…EVER.

(If she asks me too, then that's different, though)

Last time I wrote, well I am not sure what I was thinking. If someone were to find this, then they would know all of my secrets and my weaknesses. Anyhow, what is it that humans say? 'The cat is out of the bag'? Well, it is!

Grr! I do not understand human present day speech! What bag? And why is there a cat in there? What type of person keeps a cat in a bag? Stupid…

After I finished writing last time, I started visibly shaking with anger. I was so mad at Kali, and so mad that it is possible for her to still be walking through the world! Perhaps I will ask Master Aro if he knows of her still and if we can destroy her? After my shaking stopped, of course I then had to spend two days crying! I have become so weak! And so pathetic!

I need Jane. She can strike me with her power and make me feel anger and hate to the world. So I shall find her, and see the Masters.

I opened my door. No Jane, so far so good. I tried running to the great hall where I was sure the masters would be. I almost made it to the corner of the second floor…ALMOST. I felt Jane use all the strength in her small body to slam me into the nearest wall. She had me pinned. That is one thing you should never let your opponent do to you! Well, I had no where to go so instead I talked, "'Janie, I am so sorry I took advantage of you-'"

"'Stop. I liked it.'" She licked her lips.

"'But you are with Tristan!'" I didn't have to fake shock, I fully felt it.

"'That doesn't matter. Kiss me again.'"

-Gabriel


	13. I PLEDGE ALLEGIANCE

I PLEDGE ALLEGIANCE…..

October 4th, 2010 (Continued)

I couldn't deny her that! I wanted it too. So I settled for a bargain, "'Make me feel pain. We'll do both at the same time.'"

She didn't look so sure.

"'As hard as you can, Janie.'"

"'So you have to kiss as hard as you can to!'"

I thrust myself at her. Our lips meeting and pain racking my whole body! What an experience! I couldn't say I felt the pain so much, im not sure if Jane was going easy on me or if the pleasure of her kiss balanced out the pain she caused. After a while, it all stopped.

"'The Masters are expecting you. We have most of the other vampires downstairs waiting to meet you as you requested. Go put these on and meet me at the door to the Masters' hall.'"

I nodded and went into the nearest open room. It was a black long sleeved shirt with a high neck. Something like her brother used to wear. Black trousers, and new shoes so shined that I could see my reflection in them. I put them on. But I needed a little something extra, so I ran to my room and shrugged into my favorite (oldest) jacket. A leather duster from the 1700's. I tied my hair at the back of my neck and made my red eyes glow with a hot intensity.

As Jane said, I met her at the double doors. They opened and we walked in together, two partners in crime! Stone and stone.

On one side of the Masters' thrones was a line of vampires, only one I recognized: Tristan. I can't tell if he knew about Jane and I yet, or if Jane didn't intend to tell him.

"'Masters,'" Jane bowed.

They looked at me as if it were my turn to do the same. I did not. If I do not bow to God, then I do not bow to anyone. But I did say, "'Masters,'" Out of respect like Jane did.

"'Well! My, my, my,'" Aro giggled, "'Don't we look dashing? We are glad you accepted our offer, Gavril.'"

"'Glad,'" His brothers mimicked.

"'I shall be glad as well. I plan on serving you well and being quite happy here.'"

Caius gave that oh-too-familiar friendly smile, "'Who put you up to say that, Gabriel? You do not have to lie to us.'"

"'It's not a lie Caius. I do plan on being happy here.'" I gave a quick glance at Jane. She saw. Good, that means she knows where I stand on our relationship.

"'Very good then! Let us get on with the introductions!'"

"'Hey. I am Jordan.'" One girl said. "'And I have many powers. I can read people's minds, see the future, shield, and make people wish to not harm me. Some of my powers aren't perfect,'" She glanced at Master Aro, "'But I am working on them.'" She finished.

"'And I am her mate Josh!'" Said the man next to her, "' I am a gift finder of both vampires and humans. '" He finished muttering.

"' I am Katy. I can make people see what I want them to see. I am Felix's mate.'"

"'I am Chelsea, my mate is Afton. I can sense bonds and make or destroy them.'"

I nodded at Chelsea.

"'Er- you know me. Im Tristan and Jane is my mate.'" He paused and looked me dead in the eye, "'I can and will make someone sense their worst fear.'" He put emphasis on 'can' and 'worst fear'. This makes me think he knows about Jane and I.

"'Im Faine!'" One girl said cheerily. Jane scoffed in the back, "'Im Alec's mate.'"

'Alec? Alec is here? In this castle?' The boy next to Faine would have blushed if it were possible.

"'Hey! Im extremely ungifted at the moment. There was an accident. Im Alec.'" He went to give me a high five but I just stood there. Looking at the boy who had caused Jane so much grief and who still wishes to hurt something so beautiful!

"'Uh-Dude, chill. I was just going to give you a 'high five'.'"

"'I know what a 'high five' is. Im a Shifter, remember?'" I said in a snide remark, "'I just don't think I should give you one.'"

I ran to Jane's side at the opposite side of the throne's. There was a few moments of silence. And obviously, a line had been drawn. I am wondering if Aro can trust half of those people?

"'My child, do you swear to protect my brothers and I?'"

"'Yes.'"

"'To put our lives before your own?'"

"'Yes.'"

"'To think of our safety and the safety of Volterra before your own stupid actions?'"

"'I do, so help me god.'" I smiled.

-Gabriel


	14. A CRACK IN THE CEILING

A CRACK IN THE CEILING

October 6th, 2010

Yes, I have become more sociable. I stand with darling Jane in the Great Hall. But really I am listening to what goes on around me, and watching. For example, I hear giggles and whispers coming from Alec's room. I can hardly hear what he is saying, but I catch faint wisps like '…insane…crumble…friends…Aro and Jane….surprise'. When I heard the last two, I was immediately put on guard. No one was going to touch Jane or Aro! (Especially not Jane!) and well, Aro? He isn't my favorite, but so far he hasn't done anything to me. I am watching Master Aro, he has become paler than usual with great wide eyes. Even the slightest change sends him on high alert. Something is wrong and I believe dear Alec knows what it is. Aro's eyes dart all about the room like he is looking for something…or someone? Master Marcus has become even more detached than usual (if that is even possible)!

Now, everyone knows that when there is a crack in the ceiling, the whole roof could come crumbling in. I fear that is what is happening. There was a disturbance a few days ago, Demetri came in with Alec and requested a search party in order to bring back Jordan who had run away. I didn't think it was odd that Aro said yes, Jordan is important. She has four talents that together make her valuable to Aro. No, it wasn't the reply that said something had changed, it was the people that went on the search party. I believe it was Alec, Faine, Demetri, Josh, Felix, and Chelsea. Why not me or Jane? Well, okay, no one except me likes Jane. And maybe still Tristan. But all of them have been awfully close lately. I went to talk about this with Aro, but he had a glazed look in his eye, sort of like he wouldn't hear or see anything he wasn't looking for.

So I turned to my darling Jane and kissed her in front of the Masters.

"'Where are you going?'" She demanded.

"'To restore balance.'" I said and kissed the top of her head.

"' Quali sono realmente intenzione di fare, amore mio? '" (What are you really going to do, my love?).

"' Esattamente come ho detto. Vado a trovare un modo per 'essere uno con il gruppo'.'" (Exactly as I said. I am going to find a way to 'be one with the group'.) I winked at her and ran away.

I had to challenge myself before I could fulfill my plan. I found myself in Aro's basement (I stole the key from Demetri when he was off on a 'search' with the group). I locked the doors, after all, no one could know what I was doing, this is to be my little secret.

I Shifted into Demetri. 'Now' I thought to myself, 'Let us see if I can be a tracker?'

My goal in becoming these people was to see if I could keep there power as well.

I zoned in on the person I wished to smell. 20 Miles away. I could do that as myself. I pushed harder but I could only get to 30 miles.

I decided a different power might suit me better. So I changed into Valentina. I paused, and waited to hear the voice in my head. I didn't, so I pushed harder. I slowly started to hear faint whispers but it could have just been a trick of my imagination. I concentrated more and felt serious amounts of pain, but I used my newfound strength to get through it (I knew having Jane make me feel pain while we made out was a good idea!). All of the sudden, I was Valentina! I heard the voice as she must hear it. All I had to do was concentrate and find a way through the wall that blocked me from being her. From accessing the most private part of any vampire: their power. 'Yes.' I thought, 'Now if I get into a sticky situation, there will be a way out!'

I left Aro's lair and looked around to make sure no one was watching me. After that, I did a very simple thing: I shifted into a fly! And bee lined (no pun intended) to where all the action was at: The left wing where all the 'friends' seemed to be.

I slipped through a crack under the door and situated myself in the top right corner of the room. A perfect view of the gathering of friends.

'All right, traitors, lets see what you are plotting.' I thought.

-Gabriel


	15. FIGHT WITH US? OR AGAINST US?

FIGHT WITH US? OR AGAINST US?…

October 6th, 2010

So here I am….waiting in Alec's room in the top right corner…as a fly. I start asking myself what I was thinking, when the door opens and in walks the happy couple. Alec and Faine. They are both laughing.

"'…and did you say his face?'" Alec asks.

"'I did! I have to admit that I do feel a little bit bad though…'" Faine replies.

Bad? Bad about what? What are they talking about?

"'They'll be here soon of course. And then we can get to down to business!'" Faine said excitedly.

As if on cue, the door opened and in walked Jordan with her mate Josh.

Alec and Faine greeted them. Blah blah blah. Etcetera etcetera. I swear, they are all so human like! It's starting to piss me off!

Lastly, I believe, walked in Chelsea, Katy, and Felix,. Again, greetings were said and the friends all found comfortable places to sit in the room. Some sat on the bed, some sat in chairs, you get the picture.

Alec unnecessarily cleared his throat and began, "'Alright. So I guess we're going to finalize some of the plans now. Oh, right, I just also needed to say that Demetri and Valentina couldn't be here today because they have went off, but they are still participating in our plans.'"

"'We assume that you would still like to leave, right?'" Faine asked.

Boy, she really is a sweetie. So polite and all…it makes me sick!

They all nodded their heads.

"' How are the renovations coming?'" Felix asked.

"'Very well!'" Alec said, "'In fact, faster than we expected.'" He said glancing at Faine.

Wait, renovations as in- household renovations? I thought back but couldn't recall the Masters mentioning anything about renovating. I mean, we lived in a palace that had plenty of space!

Are they? No. They couldn't be. I quickly dismissed my own thought.

"'When can we leave?'" asked Jordan. She seemed anxious for the reply.

So they are! I can't believe they are leaving! Why?

"'Soon! The renovations are expected to be done in about two weeks. So I expect we can leave, um, within the month?'" Faine said.

The rest of them clapped their hands and whispered words of joy.

Now I am really starting to wonder what the hell is going on here?

"'Make sure that you have all of your things together like we first talked about. Plenty of money and anything of value that you wish to take with you.'" They were all watching Faine like people watch motivational speakers!

Out of the corner of my bug eye I noticed Jordan move the slightest bit.

Oh shit! How could I have forgotten that she is a mind reader? I thought panicked. She probably knows im here!

How could I be so stupid? I paused, Damnit! I really have to stop thinking! Okay, think like a fly…um….how exactly does a fly think? How about.. 'Buzzzzzzzz buzzzzz buzzzzzzz buzzzzzzzzzzz?

I finally realized that I am probably going to end up hurting myself more than helping the Masters. I have to think before I act…

"'How is it going? Making Aro go crazy?'" Chelsea said.

OH MY GOD! IT'S THEM! They are the reason Aro is so jumpy!

Faine giggled, "'Very good! He really thinks he is being haunted by Didyme's ghost! Marcus and Caius even saw her once as well. It kind of destroyed Marcus a bit. I think we're close to a confession!'" She was excited.

"'All we need is that confession from Aro and something to do with Jane and then we are home free!'" They all cheered a little bit….until…Faine spoke again:

"'Jordan, you are right. Everybody, Jordan has made a discovery. We aren't alone in here.'" Felix stood by the door, blocking it from exit, and Alec took up position by the windows.

Well, I might as well give them what they want…

I shifted back into myself and dropped to the floor. They gasped and looked a bit afraid.

"'No, Your not "home free" yet. Not until you do something with me. I am curious Faine, what renovations are being done? And why do you need to get rid of Jane and Aro?'"

Faine sighed, and told me, "'We plan to leave,'" Alec opened his mouth, probably to ask why she was telling me, "'No, no, Alec. We have to tell him otherwise he will find a way right to the Masters.'"

"'Katy could make him think he didn't see anything!'" Alec countered.

"'We shall tell him and then the choice will be his.'"

She told me all about their plan to escape to Ireland and live in this house that had been abandoned (they say it was Jane's fault) and to live there free to come and go as they please and free to live their lives with friends and according to their own rules…not as Aro's toys. She told me how she could use other people's powers and was using mine to make Aro believe he is seeing Didyme, Marcus's dead wife. Because, apparently, Aro had his sister killed when she and Marcus wanted to leave but Marcus's talent was better than hers. They also want a confession on how Aro sent the wolf that Caius had fought to kill him.

"'No. This cannot be true. You are most definitely lying!'"

"'I am not. Change and look at Aro's thoughts for yourself.'" She said calmly.

I did. None of them made a move towards me while I was looking. I had to go through all of his mind. To skim the top then dive deep into his thoughts. To check all of the corners and look for more hidden corners. At last, I found what I feared was true: Aro did all of those things.

I changed back and stood in front of Faine…defeated…not knowing what else to do.

"'You see, I did not lie to you. Now what other questions have you for me?'"

"'Do they have to die?'" I looked up. I asked this question because I feel like my humanity was coming back.

"'No. But they have to be confused and broken up. We do not care if they live or die, so long as we can go free. We will leave Aro to be dealt with by his brothers.'"

I nodded.

"'Will you come with us, then?'" Felix asked me.

"'Or will you be against us?'" Alec asked.

"'I promised you the choice would be yours, and so it is.'" Faine smiled.

"'What will come of Jane?'"

"'Who knows-'"

"'Who cares.'" Alec said. He was angry.

-Gabriel


	16. A WICKED CURVE BALL

A WICKED CURVE BALL…

October 6th, 2010 (Continued)

I paused. For once in my life since becoming a vampire…I wasn't sure. Little did I know that the choice was about to be made for me…

All of the sudden we heard the handle being turned. In a second we were all lounging about laughing and talking about human routines.

"'What is going on here?'" Jane asked.

We all looked up at her.

"'Nothing, Jane.'" They all said.

I can tell she didn't believe any of it…smart girl! She looked to me for the answer. They all looked to me, as well. Some with pleading eyes. Some with anger. I saw Jordan who looked as if all the hope had been drained from her.

"'Well, well, well Janie!'" I said as I stood up, "'It appears that we have a bunch of traitors in our midst!'" She glared at them. And there jaws dropped. Alec had a stare off with his sister. Faine looked forward, not really seeing anything. And Jordan…she looked at me pleading.

"'We shall have to deal with-'" She started.

"'Darling, I didn't finish! As I was saying,'" I looked at Faine and she gave a slight nod, "'They are all traitors…for not letting me in on the secret.'"

"'Secret? What secret?'" She asked.

"'Why, your birthday surprise of course!'"

I saw the faces of the group relax.

"'My what? A birthday surprise?'"

"'Yes! Of course! And they weren't going to let me in on the surprise! But I caught them red handed! And now, you almost spoiled your own surprise! Jane, please! You must leave.'" I turned towards them, "'Alright, the rest of you continue planning the surprise while I distract Jane.'" I started to steer her out of the room.

"'Oh! And Faine?'" She looked up when I called her name, "'You can count me in on whatever you decide.'" Jane and I left the room and I shared one last thought with Faine and Jordan:

'I will keep your secret. All I want is for no one to get hurt and freedom when this is done.'

Jane and I spent the rest of the afternoon playing yahtzee. She won.

-Gabriel


	17. BECAUSE OF YOU

BECAUSE OF YOU….

October 8th, 2010

Johanna has come back to haunt me.

Everything I do: I see her there.

Everywhere I go: She's there.

Like a ghost in the back of my mind. I started thinking that it was Faine playing tricks on me, just like she is doing to Aro. And, well, if it was Faine, I gotta say that she's doing a very good job of destroying me! I know it isn't Faine though, because, whenever I got to touch the ghost Johanna she feels real and she doesn't disappear like Faine will. My beautiful ghost doesn't even talk to me, she just stands there teasing me and destroying me.

Maybe I should go feed? I'll be back in 30 minutes..

No. It can't be true! No. This can't be happening to me! No. No. NO! NO! NO!

I am steaming with anger. And I have one more 'every' to add to the list.

Every person I go to kill: looks like Johanna.

I had my prey in my hands, her voice didn't sound like Johanna's, but I spin her around to face me and all of the sudden, her face is morphed to match that of my pretty Johanna's! I bite into her to make the image go away. It doesn't. I run away from her, damn I forgot to dispose of the body, and go to the other end of town to look for another snack. This girl is sitting on a bench smoking and looking oblivious to the night. Her face becomes that of Johanna's, and her green eyes look directly at me. For some reason, this enrages me! To see this person smoking and poisoning Johanna's body. I run up to her and tear her head off, not even bothering with sucking her blood. I set fire to her body and went looking for another kill. This girl was in the woods….The Woods…. I met Johanna in the woods…..

When I saw this next girl, she was taking off her clothes and walking into the stream, she turns around and beckons me to come to her. Her long blonde hair is just about touching the water now and her green eyes are glowing, I go to her, of course. I've been wishing to see Johanna for ever and this girls body exactly matches Johanna's. I forget about my clothes and wade into the river so I can hold her. Her body starts glowing but I think it's just a trick of the moon on her pale skin. She reaches up and kisses me, but I don't feel it. Im in shock she is beautiful and every movement is fluid. One flows into the next and into the next. It's like she is dancing. She takes a breath and goes underwater, lying on her back and looking at me. I think she is waiting for me but as I am about to go under with her, her skin starts glowing brighter and brighter! Until…..

Until….she's gone….My Johanna is once again gone.

This infuriated me and I once again went on my rampage through town, catching this girl and that girl. Only there faces looked like Johanna's and none of them look even remotely close like that Johanna from the woods. All the sudden, a lyric hits me, "'You stay, Johanna, The way I dreamed you are. Oh look. Johanna, a star…A shooting star…..'" I sang as something snapped in me. I went on more of a rampage and burned every body that looked like Johanna, "'And though I'll think of you, I guess, until the day I die. I think I miss you less and less, as everyday goes by….. Johanna. And you'd be beautiful and pale and look too much like her….If only Angels could…...prevail…we'd be the way we were…Johanna…..We've learned…..Johanna….to say….Goodbye…'" I sang again.

At this point, I found myself hysterical and also in somebody's arms. It was Caius, of course. He was trying to comfort me. By whispering words of peace and asking about her. He pushed me over the limit when he started whispering words of sorrow.

'Sorrow? Who is this guy to feel sorrow for me?' I pushed him away from me and ran. Just ran. I remembered my little girl, my little Catia. And how I swore that the world would bleed for her, the world will pay for taking away Johanna! A thought occurred to me: 'I have to die for her. Hhmm- I haven't thought of suicide since I was human. But, I can't possibly die for Johanna until…Kali is dead.' I smiled. 'Yes. This is all Kali's fault! All these people died because of her!' I stopped running away from the palace and went back to my room. To write more:

It's all because of her! But, which 'her' am I talking about now? Kali, my maker? Catia, my daughter? Natalia, my dead wife? Johanna, my…..my…..whatever I would call her? Or Jane, my friend with benefits?

Well, Because of Kali, my daughter is dead, im a vampire, the world is being destroyed, and im half insane!

Because of Catia, I was happy for a little while. And then I was destroyed after she made me so happy and was taken away from me. And the world is bleeding for her.

Because of Natalia, I didn't want to get married and so I ran away. Then she gives me Catia so I feel some sense of connection!

Because of Johanna, I feel…something. No, 'I feel' period. I haven't felt since her. I have a, a conscience! But on the down side of her, I also feel bad for taking a life and her memory is destroying me! Because of her…im helping to destroy the Volturri. And, in the process, destroying Jane's soul.

Because of Janie, I- Im here. Here in Volterra. Here as a guard of the Volturri. Because of her, I am happy for little moments at a time. And I felt like I had a family that understood me.

Im done talking about this. As a matter of fact, I should be done with women! All they do is cause pain and destruction! Well, no, Jane and I have a date later.

It might be our last date, seeing as how im going to help turn Jane into Tristan's ex-girlfriend, Amelia, in a few days. I feel so bad, and I am going to miss her.

I know who that blonde haired vampire is from the painting! I transformed into Master Aro (again, I have done so many times in the past four days) and looked for information about him. Apparently, that is Carlisle Cullen, Edward Cullen's maker. Carlisle has gotten around! Haha! See, he spread his venom into all these people, well most of them. First he changed Edward, then he changed Esme, then Rosalie, then Emmett and then two other vampires joined the coven. What makes Carlisle different from other vampires is that he would never change someone unless they were dieing. And, all his vampires act more as a family rather than a coven. Edward became Carlisle's adoptive son, Esme became Carlisle's wife, Rosalie is the adoptive daughter, Emmett is the adoptive son, Alice is the other adoptive daughter and Jasper is the last adopted son. And to make the entire thing more complicated, their all married. What I mean is, Rosalie and Emmett are married and Alice and Jasper are married. Edward fell in love with Bella, the human, (So that's why Felix said perhaps I should meet Edward since we both love humans!) and Bella became pregnant with Edward's child…that confused me greatly. It isn't exactly possible! And during the birth, Edward bit Bella and changed her into a vampire. And then there is the baby. A highbred! Half vampire and half human! Wow!

Carlisle has quite the collection of talents!

I must go, this is making me question who my family is and isn't.

-Gabriel


	18. ALWAYS

ALWAYS…

October 10th, 2010

Forever.

Forever is an awfully long time,

I have thought about it, and I realized that I-It's impossible to live without Johanna for that long. And It's horrible to keep killing people purely based on the fact that they're my dinner and they just so happen to look like my dead love! Im a horrible person. Ugh! I can't even call myself a person! Im more of a monster…or a devil…or an evil, soulless creep!

I know one thing will always be true: I will Always Love Johanna.

I just went to meet with Jane. It was cloudy out, and Aro gave Jane some money (not that it's hard to get money from Aro. He doesn't even listen to whole conversations. One word and he just shoves money into your face….Faine is just doing a great job.).

Back to the story, Jane took me out for "lunch", or, as I like to call it, A Make-out Session. Things started out fine enough, but (as usual) I screwed things up:

We were kissing, like always, when Jane stops and says, "'What the hell is wrong with you?'"

"'I haven't the slightest idea what you mean.'" I wasn't into it.

"'You aren't yourself. I don't care, but if you want to tell me what is wrong, then perhaps we can get back to our life?'"

"'Im just dealing with some stuff now, is all. Janie, what does one do when they are a monster and have no reason to live?'" I really was curious!

"'A monster?'" She whispered so quietly I almost couldn't hear her, "' What the-?'" In a flash she was all the way across the field we were in.

"'A freaking monster? What the hell is wrong with you?'" She starts screaming at me.

"'Nothing.'" I tried lying.

"'Don't give me that lying crap! You used to be a God! Do you remember that Gabriel? Where is that Gabriel? The God of the world?'"

"'Im lost-'"

"'I don't give a damn! We're vampires. Gods! We don't get lost, and if we do, then we pretend that nothing has happened and keep going on to rule the world!'"

"'Jane-'"

"'No! Im tired of all the people in my life disappointing me!'" She screamed with fury, "'First my parents, then Alec, then the Masters, then the Guards! And now….'" She calmed down again, "'You.'" She was silent as the dead (no pun intended) for a while.

I stood up.

"'I thought you were 'the one'. But of course not. You have disappointed me, Gavril. You aren't any better than the rest of them. I thought you were the God to my Goddess! I thought we could rule the world together! To cause pain and suffering! But I was wrong…. And now, I might as well still be with Tristan! Or worse…a human.'" She sent that oh-too-familiar wave of pain my way and I fell to the ground. Jane ran away and didn't stop until she was locked in her room in Volterra.

I know she is right. She's always right. I have become so weak…and so unsure of myself. Why does love destroy ones being?

Another thing is true: Jane will always be right.

Another Truth: I will always have feelings for Jane.

The Last truth: I will always feel bad for taking part in destroying Jane.

Im off to her room to give her one last night of happiness. Tomorrow I will help destroy Jane forever. For this one night, I will be the God Jane thought I was.

-Gabriel

PS-I told Faine I might want to live with them after I travel looking for Kali first.


	19. LONG LIVE THE KING

LONG LIVE THE KING…

October 11th, 2010

First, I have to say, Welcome to the Beginning of the End! Our plans have been set in motion and today is the day.

I have been studying all the pictures that Tristan has kept of his Amelia. She is beautiful with shoulder length, wavy red hair. This is the girl who had changed him. I mean that in two ways: First, she had brought him to his never ending death. Second, she rejected him because she didn't know how to handle his extraordinary talent. He was never the same after he met her again.

I feel sad for them. For the couple. I know they will be together again soon since I am helping to bring Amelia back. In their human years, Tristan and Amelia were perfect for each other! Had Amelia not gone off and become a vampire, I suppose she and Tristan would have gotten married and had children! But because she became a vampire, she was selfish and brought him over. Though, he was going to end his life anyway, but I think she should've let him go. After all, isn't that how the saying goes? "If you love someone enough, you'll let them go"? Or perhaps he should have done the letting go? She left for a reason! Sure she missed him and he missed her, but there was no phone call or letter. No sign to show that she was somehow okay!

I took away some of his happiness with Jane. And now I have to fix it. Sure, Tristan and Jane never would have remained a couple long, but it brought him some peace of mind.

Keeping all of this in mind: Me, Felix, Faine, Katy, Jordan, Josh and Alec went to check on the house. Faine said she would talk to Alec about eventually making another room for me. I told her there is no rush since I won't be moving in for an extended period of time until I take care of things. Faine just nodded at that and let me tend to my business. She told me once that "Love is a private business, and so is revenge. Be careful not to lose yourself within the two." That might be the greatest advice I ever received! Except for my own advice of "Try not to get killed".

So we were looking at the house and laughing about the masters. They all are so close to the brink of insanity! It's (on some disturbing level) funny! Aro has all of his guards surrounding him and 'Didyme' Whispers to him that his time is coming. Marcus is empty inside and he yearns for his wife (Boy! Do I know how that feels!). And Caius…..It's sad, really. He does nothing but sit in his throne and look forward. If he turns his head even slightly, Katy has him seeing werewolves chomping at the bit to get his cold, hard flesh in their mouths!

I turned to the Friends and said, "'Im ready to become Amelia.'" At first they looked surprised but then I transformed into the girl with wavy red hair. I felt her bewilderment. She didn't know any of these people! But I calmed her and told her that everything is alright and she will be where she needs to be soon. I Shifted back.

"'Я готов. '" (I'm ready.)

All of the sudden, Felix had katy tightly wrapped in his arms with a fierce snarl on his lips and his hands ready to strike.

The rest of us laughed, even Katy. Haha! Silly, Felix, didn't even realize that it was Katy making him see the wolves.

"Oh, I see, very funny Katy" he said, "I saw werewolves sneaking up, I was preparing to defend you woman," he said smiling at her and pulling her to him and kissing her nose.

"I'm ready" she breathed.

I'm ready as well. Every ounce of my being is alive and thrumming with the thrill of a kill. Demetri came along with Valentina, "So lets go and get this done, the house is ready yes?'"

Alec nodded, and Demetri said, "So what are we waiting for, there are enough of us who can attack Aro, he doesn't stand a chance and we'll sort out Caius too c'mon everyone."

So we all set off to Volterra. To watch Aro be destroyed, to help destroy him, to run Caius off or to tear him limb from limb. Whichever came first I didn't care.

When we got back, Aro instinctively reached for Alec's hand and was enraged when he still couldn't see anything, "'You all should not have left at the same time! You know that! The Palace could have been attacked and where would we be without all of you? In a lot of trouble! That's where!'" Aro thought he had lost his gift. He wished for Alec to perform an experiment. Alec was to try and deaden Felix's senses as he rushed at Demetri. Alec fake fainted but awoke and said, "'Sorry, Master. But it's still inwards.'" What a gifted liar! Aro bought it, then froze with fear etched into his face. He hid behind Alec and demanded that we protect him. We stifled our laughter and innocently asked what he need protection from. 'Didyme' was walking towards him whispering words of the end. When, she turned around and walked away. Aro followed her, and we followed Aro.

Once we reached the main hall, we saw Master Marcus leap out of his throne, "'I'll do it for you, Darling.'" Were the last words Aro heard from his maker. The rest of the words Marcus bellowed for his own satisfaction as he tore off Aro's head, then arms, and then legs.

"'I've hated you for so long, Aro. You've become a monster and I let you live too long!'" he was shouting. He was throwing all of Aro's body parts into a fire. He finally threw in the head after tearing it apart and screaming, "'I created you and you destroyed me, so now it's my turn to destroy you! You belong in hell, my hell that you created when you stole my Didyme!'"

At last, Marcus fell to the ground, shaking with sobs.

"'Long live the King,'" I muttered.

Thankfully, Alec deadened his senses. It would have killed me to see someone with whom I could sympathize in so much pain. And so we waited for Josh and Afton to bring back the remaining wife so Faine could put Didyme's mind into her. We didn't want Marcus to be left alone. Demetri and Felix walked in. All of the sudden, Demetri looks panicked and he frantically asks, "'Where is Caius? And where is Valentina?'"

Caius, that dog! He must have stolen off Valentina since he fancied her!

Demetri turned and shouted, "' Felix, Alec, come with me!'" They all ran out of the hall to rescue Valentina.

I muttered a short prayer to the blaze of fire in the Great hall, "'См., где ваша тирания принесла Вам? Хорошо, Приветствую королю! Приветствую ваш возлюбленный Король Вампиров! Может Бог щадить вашу душу! '" (See where your tyranny has brought you? Well, All hail to the king! All hail your beloved King of the Vampires! May God have mercy on your soul!), "'До свидания, Владелец Аро. '" (Goodbye, Master Aro.) I bowed my head in respect.

"'Long live the king of the Vampires.'" I said. And spat into the fire.

-Gabriel


	20. CHANGING BODIES, MINDS, AND LIVES

CHANGING BODIES, MINDS, AND LIVES….

October 11th, 2010 (Continued)

About ten minutes later, we heard some screaming. 'We' as in, Me, Faine, Jordan, Josh, and Marcus. Alec and Felix walked in with a struggling Caius. He most certainly wasn't making it easy for them. I chuckled. And behind them came Demetri with a scowl on his face and Valentina nestled into his arms. No matter what they say out loud, I know that they both like each other and are both perfect for one another.

"'Caius, I think your time has come.'" Demitri said.

"'My brothers! What have you done with them?'" He shrieked.

"'Aro is dead, it was his time to go.'" Alec said.

"'How dare you! How dare you all! We kept you safe and embraced your talents for over 600 years! And you,'" He finally saw me, "'After all the kindness we showed you? We introduced you to Jane! We had it planned so you two could be perfect for each other! How dare you betray your new family like that!'"

"'Family? That was not a family. And, Caius, a matchmaker you are not! I have someone else that I would die for and I know she would die for me…she already has.'"

"'Johanna is gone! How would you even know that she died for you?'" He was furious.

How did Caius even know about Johanna? Did Aro tell him?

"'Aro sent the wolves on you.'" I blurted.

"'What?'" He was finally stunned and quite.

"'Aro wanted you dead so that he could have full control of Volterra. All that would be in his way was Marcus and he wasn't even a problem! He was just an empty shell that sat in a throne all day, every day, watching Aro destroy all that is peaceful and good of our kind!'"

"'Aro-would never-'"

"'Still think we were a family?'" I asked sarcastically,

"'Oh, oh! Can I do it?'" We all turned to look at the sweet voice that had asked the question.. It was Jordan.

"'Can I kill him?'" She asked sweetly. I looked to Josh, hoping he would discourage her actions. He nodded at Demetri and backed away.

"'Of course, Jordan. Have at him.'"

"'Close your eyes. It will all be over soon, Master.'" I turned away. I couldn't watch. But I heard it. Heard Caius's arms torn from his body and thrown into the still blazing fire. Jordan took her time. Caius was a captor to her, someone she wished to torture and laugh at as he faces death. I heard Jordan jump onto his back and twist his neck off. She giggled as she punted it into the fire. Felix and Demetri lifted his limbless, headless body into the fire. Caius was no more. I turned to see Jordan hug Faine and watch them dance around the fire.

Was it okay for us to do this? Did it make us any better than them to destroy like that?

As if to answer my thoughts, Faine came over and hugged me, "'It's almost over.'" She said, "'Are you ready?'"

I nodded. Now was to come the hard part of destroying Jane.

Her ears must have been ringing because she comes walking in to the Great hall.

"'What has happened?'" She shrieks, "'Where are Master Aro and Caius?'" She gasps and her eyes go wide looking at the fire.

"'You killed them.'" She whispered.

"'Janie, everything is going to be okay. I promise.'" I grasped her hands and looked her in the eye.

I think she understood, she walked away with a glance at her brother.

"'Im ready.'" Faine, Alec, Chelsea and I ran up to Tristan's room, he wasn't there. Faine said she thought he was in the courtyard. We ran there and that's where we found him. Here comes my big part, I change into Amelia. She is in a short black dress with skinny straps. Her berry red hair is wavy and neatly done. I walk out into the courtyard.

"'Amelia?'" He is shocked.

"'Hello, Tristan'" I smile.

"'What-? How-?'" He is holding me. Kissing me. "'But I killed you?'"

"'No, you didn't, my love.'" I caressed his face, "'You didn't burn my body. Thank goodness you were just a newborn and didn't know what you were doing. Another vampire came along and put me back together, with a little blood I was as good as new!'" I traced his lips with my finger. Amelia really was happy to see him again.

"'I didn't think this was possible,"' His face was buried in my hair, "'To be together again. But I told myself that even though you were dead, I would learn how to use my gift, incase you ever did come back.'" Amelia jumped at this! He would no longer scare her and too know that even after all this time, he was still hers!

"'Come, Let's go away.'" I whispered.

I started walking away.

"'Tristan?'" I heard Jane ask. She was quite and sad.

"'Jane. What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be cuddling with Gabriel?'" He said sharply.

Ouch! That hurt my pride a bit!

"'Is? Is that Amelia?'"

"'Just go back to your room, Janie. Tristan is mine, he always was.'" I just have to get her to touch Tristan!

"'Tristan! How could you even think of going back to her? She was afraid of you! She ran from you! I would never!'"

"'Tristan, come with me.'" I turned and walked away. This was it.

"'Im sorry.'" He said. He followed me.

"'Tristan, No!'" Jane grabbed onto his hand.

Things happened so fast. Faine jumped out and enhanced Tristan's power. Jane jumped back, she was all alone in her mind. She had nobody. Faine used Alec's power to try and erase her mind.

I Shifted back into myself.

Jane was thrashing around trying to resist the memories that Faine was putting in her mind. Chelsea and Faine worked together to try and get Jane to accept these new memories, but Jane wouldn't have it.

"'Gabriel-'" She called out to me.

It nearly killed me to say these next words, "'Just let go, Janie. It's time for you to let go.'"

She stared at me, and Jane was gone with "'Okay.'" She released her hold and Faine successfully put Amelia's memories into Jane.

After this was done we stood waiting to see what would happen, "'I love you, Jane.'"

"'Who is Jane?'" The girl asked.

I shed a tear.

"'Tristan? What has happened to me?'" She ran into his arms and they both started crying.

"'Oh, my beautiful Tristan!'" Amelia said.

"'Amelia, I promise I will never let go! I'll never scare you again!'"

"'I was scared without you.'" I heard her say. I left and the others followed me. Just one more thing to take care of and then I could leave.

Back in The Great Hall, Jordan was still gazing into the fire and watching the purple smoke rise to the ceiling.

Ah! I wish I could just run into that fire myself! I wish…I wish I could die that easily! How wonderful it would be to no longer feel. If only it were that easy, if only I were human. Humans are so fragile. Take a knife and caress their throats with it. Take a rope and tie a bow. Jump in but don't hold your breath. Breath in, Breath out, and then swallow it all, Poison. Aim at your head and pull the trigger. Or fall in love then watch her die.

Jordan's head snapped up and she looked at me. I guess she didn't like hearing that. She can't be worried about me! I don't even know her! I just agreed to help so all these people would be off my back!

I didn't have to do anything to help change the wife into Didyme. I just sat back and watched Faine, Alec and Chelsea do all the hard work. Marcus was so happy! It must be great for him to hold her again and to hear her voice-Hhhmmmm. Could I?

I wonder if Faine could do that for me? Only, she would bring back Johanna! Hey, Faine! I called in my mind. She looked over at me. Could you-? You know. Bring back my love?

"'Is that really what you want?'" Everybody looked up. They had no idea what was going on, "'You know she wouldn't be exactly the same. First of all, she would look different. And second, I am not even sure it would one hundred percent work.'"

No, never mind. I thought. If I can't have Johanna the way she was, exactly, piece by piece, then I can't have parts of her.

Faine nodded and we watched Marcus be reunited with his Didyme. He asked us why? Why would we do such a thing while we killed his brothers?

Alec and Demetri started explaining but they weren't doing such a great job so Faine and Jordan took over. They said it was about compassion and some other stuff that I zoned out for. I was bored. So I went back to the courtyard and watched Tristan and Amelia. It was weird to see Jane's body speaking such kind words and using gentle touches! I think there is some part of me that still loves her. It was such an odd feeling to be the one not wanted, to be standing in the shadows watching love from a distance. After a while, Tristan and Amelia got up and ran to the great hall. I followed them and when I walked in their was quite an enormous amount of money on the floor. Apparently, the friends had divided up all Aro's money equally amongst us. Marcus and Didyme rejected it saying that they couldn't take it and they would be more than fine without it.

Idiot probably has a million dollars in a secret bank account. Oh, well, more for me now.

I took my money and walked out. I heard them ask each other where I was going. Well, about ten minutes later, I walked back in with a couple rifles and handguns on my person.

"'Where are you going that would ever require that much firepower?'" Jordan asked.

"'Places. Don't ask.'" I turned to Faine and Alec, "'So, I'll see ya in, oh, say, six months? Yes?'" They nodded their heads.

Crap! Im not good at goodbyes!

"'Yeah. So. Later, I guess.'" I stared at the new Amelia a beat longer than I should have and turned my back on them. I had that damned tear of blood on my cheek again! I stored my weapons and walked down the cathedral like steps and into the night…for the last time.

-Gabriel


	21. THE HUNT

THE HUNT…

October 16th, 2010

The hunt has began. Or maybe it's a race to death, mine or Kali's. For the second time in my life, I'm not sure who will die and I don't care if I die.

Im flying first class on a private jet thanks to Aro's money. But, I didn't get here easily….I had to use my, ahem, talents, to get here:

I was leaving Volterra and on my way to New York (That's where my flight was leaving from). I Shifted into Johnny Depp and stepped into the airport. I was swarmed by a lot of people and Johnny took over that. He signed a couple autographs and had a couple short conversations until one of the Managers came over and directed us to a private wing, "'Right this way, Mr. Depp. Your private jet is all ready for you.'"

Odd, I don't remember calling ahead for it. I guess it's always just ready for my get-away desires.

The door closed and I made my way to the Captain's room.

"'Where to, Mr. Depp?'" He asked.

"'I'll take over.'" I punched him in the head and he was out like a light. I Changed back into myself and took the captain's coat and hat. I started the plane and turned on the intercom.

"'Hello and welcome to Air Vampire. This is your captain, Gabriel, speaking. Our estimated flight time to France is seven hours! Please sit back, relax and enjoy the flight. Some peanuts and beverages will be making their way through the cabin once we have reached a comfortable cruising altitude.'" I laughed insanely. Of course there was no one else on this plane but it was fun to actually say that. We had liftoff and I directed the plane.

Seven hours later we landed in France. I must say, I was a pretty good captain! I did a fine job of steering and landing (that might come in handy some time in my never ending life). And so my search began:

It didn't take me half as long as it would take a human! All I needed to do was run through these countries and search for Kali's scent. Or, if I was having trouble, change into Demetri and use his spectacular tracking ability! The friends…..I think I miss them? I miss Jordan's annoying humanity! I miss Faine's 'angel-ness' and Alec's obsession with being free! I miss Chelsea's independence and Demetri's work ethic. Damnit! I've been alone all my life! Why do I need these people now?

So far, France, Germany, Finland, Poland, Italy, New York and Russia are clean. What makes me so sure that Kali is in Europe? I don't know, From her manner and the way she used to dress, it looked like she wouldn't leave to far from Russia.

I've been searching for her for about a month. I don't see any reason to make everyday a new entry until I actually find something useful! Well, it looks like Im heading back to America. Im running towards the airport in France, when I stop running and it feels like my heart is exploding inside my chest! Im on the ground with my hand over my heart, this pain is worse than anything physical I have ever been put through! Well, except for….you know. Not even meaning to, I find myself running the opposite direction and eventually, I am in Romania. My heart is being pulled up the base of a mountain and then it stops. I am free…I thought I was. I look up and a giant castle fills my view. It has large terraces and balconies, large cathedral ceilings and gargoyles guarding the castle from attack. Why? I ask myself.

A spark of lightning comes down right in front of me and the torches outside the monstrous building are glowing with fire. The gargoyles seem to come to life! Their eyes glow red and their heads shift to look at me. A rain storm has begun and the draw bridge drops. A red glow fills the inside of the palace. As soon as it completely opens, my whole body is on fire! It feels like walking on glass, like being stabbed everywhere! Like walking hand in hand with the devil. It feels like… Kali. I've found her! This is exactly how I felt when I was created! The pain increases and I wriggle around on the ground. I hear an evil cackling, satanic laughter and then my world is blank.

Kali.

-Gabriel


	22. WELCOME HOME

WELCOME HOME…

November 20th, 2010

I snap out of it. The world is back! I look to the top of the castle where the cackling is coming from. I see the shape of a girl with long nails and wild hair. This girl isn't Kali. She jumps down and runs circles around me. I lash out at her but keep missing. She's obviously faster than me. She scratches my cheek and runs towards the entrance. I grab my guns but think twice about firing, if I do then it's a dead giveaway to Kali and any other monsters she has living here. I check quickly to make sure I am fully equipped with bullets and grenades. I run after the wild woman and as soon as I am in the castle, the drawbridge rises. Great, I think to myself, Im trapped.

I hear the annoying cackle and see the girl run around a corner. There was no time to think: My instincts kicked in. I am a predator following it's prey. Well, the hunter finds himself in a beautiful art filled room. A room that's contents dates back to the 14th century. And a beautiful girl of art! I mean Kali. She is lounging on a couch and she casually, slowly turns her purple eyes to me.

Her plump lips form the words, "'Welcome home,'"

I raise my guns.

"'Wait,'" She calls. She steps out of her dress and throws it onto the chair. She is standing completely naked in front of me, "'Go ahead.'" She stares at me with her arms outstretched.

I empty all the bullets I have into her and when im done, she looks like a battlefield. I think I've won but then slowly, one by one, the bullets pop out of her body and fall to the ground with her skin closing up after them.

"'Is that all?'" She asks sweetly.

Im not sure what else to do so I pull out my first (and last) grenade. I pull the plug and an instant before I release my grip, I see a clear blue haze around me and Kali.

The smoke is finally clearing and Kali and I have ash on our faces. The clear blue haze is gone, I realize that she put a shield around us, the room looks perfect as if nothing has touched it. Kali looks beautiful like she just got off a run way. Her skin naturally sparkles and her hair is wavy with, what looks like, sparkly ribbon but I know it's natural to her.

"'Now are you satisfied? Nothing can kill me.'" She smiled with her long fangs and blood red lips. My last resort is a wooden stake. So cliché, I know, but I have to give it a try. I run up to her and stab it into her stomach, remove it, then plunge it deep into her heart. She folds over it and looks at me, She starts choking and blood is trickling out of her mouth, "'I-I-How could you?'" She appears dead.

Yes! I have done it! She rises. Crap!

"'I don't have a heart.'"

"'Don't toot your own horn, Kali.'" I will not let her fantasies enchant me!

She takes the stake out, her skin closes. She plunges it into her stomach and yanks upward. This exposes her innards to me.

Great God! She's right! I see her ribs and all the other stuff…but not her heart.

I leap back from her but find myself backing into the girl I was following earlier. I leap away from her and back into a corner across the room. Forget monster! That think is ugly! What crazy experiments has kali been performing?

The girl/thing has long, sharp nails like daggers. And instead of a nose, she has a beak! Like a bird! Her skin looks scaly like a fish and her hair is smooth and slicked back with oil…or something else.

Im taken out of my trance when Kali speaks, "'Hhh-mmmm this experience has left me hungry.'" She looks at me and I cringe. But to my shock she reaches to the creature and sucks on its neck, when she looks up red blood isn't what I see. I see blue slime oozing over Kali's face and out the creatures neck.

"'Now, Gabriel, how would you feel if I did that stuff to you?'" She asked sweetly and curiously.

I couldn't find any words to speak.

"' Вы хорошо, Габриэль?'" (Are you okay, Gabriel?) She asks in my native language,

I have no choice but to admit this: I. Am. Scared.

I still can't respond but I shake my head.

"'No? You don't have to be scared.'" She is standing in front of me stroking my hair and planting kisses along my jaw, "'No. You have to be terrified.'" She whispers. In movements to quick for me to have countered, she slashes my chest open and throws me on the floor, Kali straddles me, she pulls out my heart and squeezes it. My body convulses and blood pours out of my mouth. Then she bites into my neck and sucks like her life depended on it.

I could feel my skin becoming crisper and sinking in, like a corpse. I became a sack of bones and then…..nothing

…..…I was dead.

-Gabriel


	23. MY OWN PERSONAL HELL PART 1

MY OWN PERSONAL HELL…

Date Unknown (Part 1)

It feels nice to be dead. Actually, I don't feel anything at all. It's like floating in a starry sky. Like fading into oblivion. I turn my head and see my reflection. I don't look like a corpse. I reach my hand out only, my reflection doesn't do the same. He stands up and stretches out his arms, many people appear behind him. Wait, these are all people I've killed! I remember there faces and how I killed them. The reflection flashes me a wicked grin and his eyes blaze with fire. Like a slideshow, I see those people killed. I see how happy and triumphant my reflection looks as his victim's eyes roll back in their skulls. I try to look away but I can't, my head won't move. I close my eyes but it doesn't make a difference. This isn't so bad, I actually enjoy it! I haven't seen myself this happy for a VERY long time.

But, like human lives, my happiness was short lived. My reflection started weeping tears of blood and I did not know why! What could cause him so much pain? The answer became clear a second later: A girl. A curvy, long blonde haired girl named Johanna.

The entire image seems so surreal, a cold hearted vampire passionately kissing a warm blooded human. The two stayed embraced until it looked like the girl was stabbed through the back! She fell to the ground. My reflection looked down and saw a dead angel. Her skin was glowing but the glow started to fade. Her arms were crossed over her chest and her eyes were closed. Her face held a look of peace and rest. But it was a never ending rest. She was dead. Her skin took on the pale, waxy look of a dead person and the rose disappeared from her cheeks. The tears of my reflection came faster and longer. One tear fell onto the pretty girls cheek. Then another fell onto her closed eye. Another, and another and another. One after the other, they all fell onto the beautiful, sleeping girl. The reflection sank to his knees and wept over her. He tried to cover his tears so they would not ruin her pretty features, but his attempt was in vain. The tears flowed out of his cupped hands and over her body. Into her mouth, covering her eyes, slipping and sliding down her cheek. I reached out and tried to do something but as soon as I did, the reflection looked up at me. His eyes were gone and blood was flowing out of them, like water out of a faucet. Soon, my entire death was filled with blood, and then, everything else was gone. It was just me and Johanna floating around together in death.

"'Till death do us part,'" I whispered.

Her face turned to mine and we fell to the ground. The blood disappeared. It was Just me and Johanna.

"'Oh, Johanna. At last we're together.'" I pull her to me and wrapped my arm around her head and smooth her hair. I close my eyes and will this moment to last forever.

Eventually, I move to rest on my elbows so I can look at her…but when I do, I don't see my pretty little thing.

I saw Johanna's corpse! By corpse I mean her skeleton! Her head still holds patches of blonde hair and I see insects crawling through her eye sockets! I try to back away, but my death has shrunk. I only get a foot away from her. I lie down, crying and screaming. This isn't death….This is Hell.

My own personal hell.

And I'm burning in it!

-Gabriel


	24. MORE PART 2

MORE…

Date Still Unknown (Part 2)

I couldn't take one more minute of this Hell! Being dead was one thing but Hell is something completely different! My Hell began to get smaller and smaller, making me move closer and closer to the rotting Johanna. Her appearance overall terrified me! Ha! Imagine, a 620 year old vampire that causes death on a daily basis, terrified by a rotted corpse! I don't know how long I've been dead (I mean DEAD) for. It could have been 200 years or 20 minutes, but whatever it was, it was too long! If this is true death and true Hell, then I want no part of it! I want to live forever! The space shrunk more and now I was forced to be on top of her. The space kept on shrinking though. I couldn't imagine being any closer than this! Yet, it was possible. I was afraid to shatter her bones. It used to be an old superstition back in my homeland that to shatter someone's bones, no matter how old or how fresh, would bring a great deal of bad luck. Just as I thought my body would shatter Johanna's bones, I found myself inside her body! I was the dead one! The skeleton! I saw this from her mind's eye. She was so close to a loved one but unable to touch him or to comfort him. It's like I was her, like we shared the same decaying mind. Because, I found myself hearing the words, "'You! Get out!'" But then they softened some more, "'Gabriel, I don't want you in here-'"

"'But I want to be here! With you! No matter how rotted we are, I want to hear you, to hold you!'"

"'It's not your time yet. I don't want you here until it's your time.'"

"'How can I go on without you?'" I pleaded with her.

"'The same way you did before you met me. I can make it as if I never existed, in fact, I promise you that it will be as if I never existed. Now, get out!'"

With a force to great to be human, I was pushed (or pulled) out of her body. At first, it was like I was a ghost flying through the world. But then I broke through the deepest circle of my Hell, and then another circle, and another. With each circle that I broke through I found myself becoming more real! I found myself gaining a body! When I left my deepest circle of Hell I was a ghost, if that, but each circle that I broke through gave me another layer of soul. I knew I was almost out when I saw nerves outlining my body, then muscles and then skin!

I bolted upright, gasping, with a cold sweat on my forehead! I looked around, I was back. I was alive.

I swung my legs off the table I was resting on and went to stand up, but I fell again clutching my stomach. I didn't have to look at what was causing my pain, I felt it. I felt 4 jagged scars going across my stomach from when Kali had sliced me open. It struck me that maybe I should get out of here, I turned to look for the door but when I moved my neck, it felt sore. So I lightly touched it and found puncture marks going around my neck.

Oh my god! That evil little-! Kali! I became so angry, I jumped off the table and ran through the door in search of Kali. I found her in the library reading a mythological book.

"'Dammit, Kali!'" I yelled, I had caught her by surprise. She dropped her book, "'Why are there puncture marks on my neck?'"

"'I-I fed off you.'" She sounded flustered at first.

"'Why? Kali, you don't think!'" I grabbed her wrists and saw my own, I had shackles on my wrists, "'And handcuffs? Really?'"

"'Don't be angry, lover. If I was just feeding off you, you wouldn't have been able to break free of those handcuffs, but see, I was giving back as well!'"

I eyed her suspiciously, "'How do you mean?'"

"'I gave you my blood.'" She smiled happily.

I heard her in my mind See, sweetheart, You can hear me and I can hear you without saying a word.

Am I stronger and faster? I asked her.

You might be she said and I Tried to lift a ceiling high stack of books on their bookshelves but I wasn't strong enough, they came tumbling down on me. Or you might not be she finished.

I pushed the books off me and threw the shelves across the room, I stood up but ended up falling into Kali's open arms. This scene brought a nostalgic image to my mind: Myself waking up drunk and falling into my brother, Nikolai's, arms. The image made me sick with guilt and longing. I fell to the floor and hung my head in shame.

"'I know you aren't feeling well. Here,'" Kali bit her wrist open and shoved it into my face, right under my nose, "'Drink.'"

I grabbed her wrist. Her blood smelled SO good! But I know the consequences of taking ones blood, You will always want more and it will make you more connected to that person.

"'Drink.'" She urged. I felt my body trembling under her power. She was my creator, She ruled my life, and her word, was pretty much my law.

"'Drink!'" She demanded. That was it. That was the last straw. My Fangs came out and I re-opened her wrist and sucked.

"'That's right,'" She said while stroking my hair, "'Drink to your little heart's desire. It will make you stronger, and faster….'" Her words faded out. All I could hear was my tongue lapping up every single drop of blood and the sound of drums in my ears.

I didn't care what she said! I didn't care who she was!

Kali pushed me away from her and covered her wrist.

I didn't care that she was older! I didn't care that she was holding me hostage! I know what I care about: More. I care about power, and blood.

"'I. Want. More.'" The words came out husky and raw, like I intended to do her harm the way I would have a couple months ago. I tried very hard to control my voice so I wouldn't give myself away….but I didn't do a very good job. Kali ran, but I was just as fast, I shoved her into a bookcase and pinned her wrists up.

"'Give me more of your blood.'" I demanded.

-Gabriel


	25. LIGHTS, CAMERA, ACTION

LIGHTS, CAMERA, ACTION….

Still don't know what the Date is, and not exactly caring.

Being a blood slave is fun! It's kind of like sleeping because then I wake up like a week later! So, I get to sleep, something I never can do! But the best part of being a blood slave is getting my health back so I can be a blood slave again! During this time, Kali let's me feed off her whenever I want as long as she isn't too weak (which is never!). Kali says that my letting her feed off me is called a 'Donation', I prefer the term 'blood slave' because then I can use it on her when im 'gaining health'. Drinking so much of Kali's blood is giving me a whole new perspective on life! Words sound fancier, colors look brighter, hearing is more clear, life is better, life has meaning! Believe it or not, I am actually having a great time with her! All we ever do is read together or sing or have philosophical discussions! Well, there is the occasional time when Kali makes me play board games (Yahtzee) or perform plays with her. She always has a grand obsession with tragic deaths like Brutis being impaled by his own sword or Hamlet being run through with a poisoned foil!

Well, usually, I end up saying to hell with her and locking myself in one of the castle rooms. She leaves me alone for a short 8 hours then comes knocking at the door saying I am acting like a child. Her voice of reasoning piques my curiosity but I refuse to budge. Like every mother, though, she has her tricks. Usually the same trick will do, She charms me out of my room and onto the stage with her blood on the line. We will be standing on a mini stage in her theater reciting lines from Hamlet's great speech with my mouth on her neck or her wrist.

Today was different though:

"'What shall we do now, love?'" Kali casually asks as she begins painting my portrait.

"'Let me think.'" We sit in silence for a while with my mind skimming all the great works of literature worth my time.

I find myself thinking about what seems like a far away time, a distant memory. A man is roaming the streets setting destruction upon every one he meets. He is angry because he has lost (or gained? It could be perceived as either) someone dear too him and he sings out his emotions. I start humming.

"'What was that?'" Kali snaps.

I stop.

"'No. What were you humming?'" She seems frightened.

"'Sweeney Todd?'" I say. I am not sure if this is good or bad.

Kali seems to go into a thoughtful trance, "'Yes,'" She breathes at last.

"'Im sorry-'"

"'Yes!'" She says louder, "'My love! You are a genius!'" She puts down her paint, "'We are going to put on a production of Sweeney Todd!'"

"'Yes.'" I say.

"'With you as Mr. T and me as Mrs. Lovett!'"

"'Yes.'" I repeat.

"'And we are going to make it real!'"

"'Ye-How?'" I ask.

"'How? Yes, how,'" Kali pauses, "'We are going to use humans in our production. We will get you silver blades and let you slice open their throats!'"

I pause a moment until realization hits me, "'Yes!'" I stand up.

"'The end will have to be completely re-written of course!'"

"'Of course!'" I agree.

"'Mrs. Lovett can't die, and neither can Mr. T!'"

"'Not at all!'"

"'The worlds greatest heroes shouldn't be killed! As far as we're concerned, Mr. Todd and Mrs. Lovett did London a favor! Killing all of those good for nothing-'"

"'Savage-'"

"'Greedy-'"

"'Lazy-'"

"'Childish humans!'"

"'Exactly,'" I stepped up to her and put my arm around her waist and grabbed her hand.

I began twirling her about the room and we start singing simultaneously, "'Sweeney Todd: Mrs. Lovett What a charming notion Eminently practical and yet appropriate as always Mrs. Lovett How I did without you all these years I'll never know! How delectable! Also undetectable How choice! How rare!

Mrs. Lovett: Well, it does seem a waste... Think about it! Lots of other gentlemen'll Soon be comin' for a shave Won't they? Think of All them Pies!

Sweeney Todd: For what's the sound of the world out there?

Mrs. Lovett: What, Mr. Todd? What, Mr. Todd? What is that sound?

Sweeney Todd: Those crunching noises pervading the air?

Mrs. Lovett: Yes, Mr. Todd! Yes, Mr. Todd! Yes, all around!

Sweeney Todd: It's man devouring man, my dear And who are we to deny it in here?

Mrs. Lovett: Then who are we to deny it in here? '"

We continue our satanic waltz while thinking up ideas for our show of death.

Within two days, we have our cast selected and ready for a "Dress Rehearsal". I walk into the auditorium to find Kali fiddling with something on the wall.

"'What are you doing, my dear?'"

"'Just setting up a camera. I want to document this,'" She smiled, "'Come sit with me for a minute. We need to have a chat.'"

I did as she told me.

She sighed and settled her arm around my shoulders, "'I know you came here to kill me.'" She stated bluntly.

I was freaking out! Where did that come from? I hadn't even thought of that since I arrived! How many weeks ago was that?

"'I just wanted to tell you that it's okay. I forgive you.'" She gave me a tight squeeze and mounted the stage.

I had no intention of saying this, "'I will do it, you know.'"

"'Do what, Darling?'"

"'Kill you.'"

She started laughing uproariously then stopped suddenly, "'No you won't.'"

"'And what makes you think that, All-Wise-Creator?'" There was a hint of sarcasm in my voice.

Kali ignored me and called out some of the company. We went on with our production and stopped just before Mr. Todd's grand ballad.

"'Take five!'" Kali yelled. The humans shuffled backstage and I sat down.

All around me, the stage was soaked in blood. The actors thought it was fake….they weren't on the stage when I slashed some throats. My shirt was soaked in blood as well.

All the sudden Kali wrapped herself around me, "'It's a pity that Aro is dead.'" She stated flatly.

"'And why would that be? He deserved it.'" Anything that kali said had something to do with me.

"'Oh, Gabriel. You are quite the killer!'" she chuckled, "'So unforgiving, and ruthless, and unknowing.'" She tapped my skull, "'You have much to learn, young one. Did your friends tell you that Aro and I were well acquainted?'" She asked curiously.

I felt my body and mind freeze. They knew? About her? Well, why wouldn't they tell me?

"'I know what is going through your mind, Gavril. You feel betrayed and angry and scared…'"

"'What are you trying to say, Woman? Get on with it because I am sick of you.'"

"'I guess you don't want to know.'" She flitted to the exit.

"'Tell me!'"

"'Aro held the secret to my death! He was the only one that knew how to kill me!'"

I froze.

No. This can't be! After all I've done and how far I've come!

"'I guess I should thank you for destroying him for me. And now, I will be unstoppable! Bravo, Gavril, you killed the one person who held the key to my destruction and your freedom!'" She disappeared. I shrunk down to the floor. I finally remembered what I had come here for. I finally realized how far I strayed from my original course! I had mans blood on me, literally, when I swore I would never rest until Johanna was avenged. This didn't exactly make me feel human again, it was like another grand realization! Like an…Epiphany.

Five minutes later, we were all back on stage with me singing EPHIPHANY:

" No I had him!

His throat was there beneath my hand.

I had swear I had him!

His throat was there and now he'll never come again.

Mrs. Lovett: Easy now, hush love hush

I keep telling you -

Todd: When? Why do I wait?

You told me to wait -

Now he'll never come again.

There's a hole in the world like a great black pit

And it's filled with people who are filled with shit

And the vermin of the world inhabit it.

But not for long...

They all deserve to die.

Tell you why, Mrs. Lovett, tell you why.

Because in all of the whole human race

Mrs Lovett, there are two kinds of men and only two

There's the one they put in his proper place

And the one with his foot in the other one's face

Look at me, Mrs Lovett, look at you.

Now we all deserve to die

Even you Mrs. Lovett...even I

Because the lives of the wicked should be made brief

For the rest of us death will be a relief

We all deserve to die.

And I'll never see Johanna

No I'll never hold my girl to me - finished!

(shouted) Alright! You sir, you sir, how about a shave?

Come and visit your good friend Sweeney.

You sir, you sir? Welcome to the grave.

I will have vengenance.

I will have salvation.

(shouted) Who sir, you sir?

No ones in the chair, come on! Come on!

Sweeney's waiting. I want you bleeders.

You sir - anybody.

Gentlemen don't be shy!

Not one man, no, no ten men.

Not a hundred can assuage me -

I will have you!

And I will get him back even as he gloats

In the meantime I'll practice on dishonorable throats.

And my Lucy lies in ashes

And I'll never see my girl again.

But the work waits!

I'm alive at last!

And I'm full of joy!'"

I finished the rest of the play, and at the end, the only ones alive to take the final bow were me and Kali. We had the entire cast dead. Am I proud of what I've done? Can I be? I helped Those Friends get away with their lives and freedom….but what about mine? Where is my freedom and my life? Where is my reward for all the good things (Okay, THING) I've done? Why aren't I the one sitting in some run down farm house where dead people used to live with my mate Johanna sitting on my lap? Why aren't I the one proposing to her?

-Gabriel


	26. DREAM A WAY OUT

DREAM A WAY OUT…

Date Unknown…STILL

I've been doing an awful lot of thinking lately, sometimes that is a bad thing. I do tend to over think things to much. Well, Im trying to remember something Aro had said, anything he might've said that could give me any clue as how to destroy Kali. I didn't mind being her slave for a little while, but eternity was too long. I told Faine and Alec I wouldn't be gone more than six months….I got such a high from Kali's blood that now I am not even sure how long I've been away from them. For all I know, I could have been missing for 50 years. Each day felt like the first, it felt like being awakened for the first time! I finally noticed one thing though: I never see the sunlight. Ever.

Occasionally, kali takes me out hunting at night, but never during the day. This is making me wonder about what she is. I mean, she has to be a vampire since that's what I am, right? But, I remember that story about Edward Cullen and his mate, Bella, how they had the baby. The baby. It was half vampire and half human. A special breed. What if that's what kali is?

The only problem I have is what kind of cross breed is she? Vampire is one thing, what about witch! Because of that scaly thing she created. Or what if she just isn't human? Well, you know what I mean! She didn't have a heart…I don't know of any creature that doesn't have a heart…

I shifted into Aro. Maybe he could tell me something new. His mind felt weird. Sort of sticky. But I continued to search it. Ha! A lot of good it did me! I kept on hearing the same sentence repeated for the entire time I was him 'Boom, Boom goes the heart until it stops, then all is silent.' Well, that's a lovely rhyme but Kali doesn't have a heart!

To the library!

I've spent nearly 2 days with my nose in the mythology aisles. And I still have yet to see anything on creatures without hearts.

"'You can search my library all you want, Gabriel, but you will not find the key to my destruction here! Im hungry.'"

"'Tough crap, Kali! Im not feeding you anymore.'" I looked back into my book and kept reading.

That was the wrong choice of words. I found myself flying across the room, "'Well, I am not asking any more! Now get your sorry ass up and into your room so I can suck you dry!'" I stood up and ran to my room. Im dead anyway so I might as well make her work for her food!

I stood with my back to the door, I didn't know she would come up from behind with the intention of causing me real pain! Instead of high pleasure from her bite, I felt intense waves of pain. She sucked me back to that corpse like state.

Oh great, now I'll probably be sleeping for a month!

I wasn't expecting this "sleep" to be peaceful, but it was. I was walking out of the woods and into a beautiful green field, the sky was pink behind it like it was early morning or just after sunset. I stepped out of the shadows and found that the light had no effect on my skin! I was normal! But what made me feel more normal…was how my heart ached…How I felt my heartstrings being pulled!

I saw two girls running in the field: one was older with long blonde hair and another much younger, a little girl with curly black hair.

The blonde girl made me feel sad, but the little black haired girl made me feel like I was being run through with a sword!

I sank to my knees and cried real human tears. A few minutes passed and I felt a hand on my shoulder.

"'Don't cry, Gabriel. We are here and all is well.'" Johanna smiled.

I grabbed her hand and brought it to my cheek, "'Johanna. Is that-? Are you-?'" I couldn't find the words to express myself.

Johanna turned to look at the little girl, "'Oh yes. That is Catia. I've been watching her for you. Would you-? Would you like to play with her? To hold her?'"

I was so happy! I couldn't do anything but smile and nod.

"'Then dry your tears and go be with her. I am sure Catia wouldn't want to see her daddy upset.'" Johanna dried my tears and I walked down the hill to the little girl.

"'Daddy!'" She shrieked, "'I've missed you!'" She leaped into my arms and held me tight.

I buried my face in her hair and whispered, "'And I've missed you, my daughter, my precious little girl, very much.'"

Catia and I spent the whole night playing together. Climbing trees, racing each other, playing King and Princess. But the sun was going to rise soon so we laid in the tall grass and slept next to one another. Catia curled up into me and I put my arm around her to protect her. I was finally strong enough to protect her….like I couldn't do all those years ago. I stayed like that until I was sure she was sleeping, then I saw Johanna looking at me. So I got up and went to meet her back on top of the hill.

"'We have business to discuss.'" She started, "'You need to be free.'"

"'I don't know how to kill Kali, though.'"

"'Stab her heart. Legend will be a reality for you.'" Johanna said happily.

"She doesn't have one!'" I yelled. This whole 'heart' thing was getting really annoying.

"'Are you sure?'" Johanna asked curiously.

I sat down and sighed. I don't know what else to do.

Johanna's voice softened, "'Do you miss her?'"

"'Who?'" I asked.

She nodded her head down at Catia.

"'Oh. Yes. Very much.'" I said sadly.

She sat next to me and put her arm around me to comfort me, "'What are you thinking about?'"

"'Catia. Did you know that she's dead because of me? I couldn't protect her 620 years ago. I wasn't strong enough to.'" Johanna held me again and I looked at my sleeping girl. Her chubby, rosy cheeks and eyelashes that touch her cheek while she sleeps. We sat in silence for a few minutes, until Johanna spoke again, "'She doesn't blame you. She knows you did your mortal best to stop Kali but that nothing could. She knows you tried-'"

"'I just want to be her hero. I want her to think of me the way other little girls think of their fathers.'"

"'But you are! Look what you're doing: You're battling an immortal, unknown creature to avenge us! For 620 years you've fought for her! She watches you, and protects you and loves you! You're putting your life on the line for us.'"

I began to feel my dream coming to an end. I stood up and walked to the edge of the forest, "'Protect her for me. Love her the way I did. The way I still do.'"

I walked into the forest, my dream was getting blurry, "'Wait, Gabriel!'" I heard Johanna shout.

I turned around and saw the sun rising behind her determined stance on the edge of the forest.

"'I don't blame you either.'" She whispered.

That was it. I didn't have time to reply. My dream was over.

I slowly sat upright and whispered, "'Stab the heart.'" over and over again. This was my way out! But where is the heart? And how else do I kill her?

'All that is legend will be reality.' Johanna's words rung in my head.

Legend. The word brought forth millions of images: vampires being roasted alive in the sun and stakes being stabbed through us.

The library should help with that. I slowly got up, wobbled a bit because I was light headed and went to the library to plan my strategy. It looks like all I need is some myth and to find Kali's heart. Not to hard, right?

-Gabriel


	27. SAY 'GOODNIGHT'

SAY 'GOODNIGHT'…

Unknown Date

I have an amazing plan to rid the world of kali! Ah, I can't wait to put it into action! I decide to Shift into Aro again to see if he has any more useful information on Kali. It's weird being in his body, probably because I am so weak. I know I can't stay in his body much longer. So quickly I hear the words 'Only she can stab the heart. Only she can kill herself. Oh, god, I hope she doesn't decide to kill me! I hope she leaves me be!' I am back in my own body.

"'Crap! This really screws with my plans!'" I push all the books off the table.

I decide to go find kali so I can feed. I feel so, so weak and I need as much strength as I can get for the end.

"'Oh, Darling, you're awake. Come look at your portrait!'" Kali says.

I walk towards her and see the front of the canvas that she has been using for weeks. The only colors that stand out are gold and red. Im looking at it and I can't believe that's really me, I haven't seen myself in a mirror since….Hhmmm I guess since Voltera. I have this sick satanic look on my face and a dead girl laying on my lap. I am holding a wine glass filled with blood and the girl has a dull glassy look in her eyes while mine are ablaze with fire!

"'Why, don't you recognize yourself, Gavril?'" She laughs.

I fall to my knees and reach out for her, "'Kali-'"

"'I know, I know! Stop being such a baby.'" She drags her finger nail across her wrist and I see a clean line of blood start falling. My eyes zero in on the drop racing down her hand. The trail of red it leaves behind as the drop reaches the tip of her finger. I reach my tongue out and taste the drop. It's all good flavors and things you could imagine tasting all rolled into one little package. I move my tongue along that line of red, not wasting an ounce! At last, my tongue reaches the wound and I taste heaven! I clamp down hard and bite in so more can flow into me. I suck as hard as I can and as long as she will let me. I need this. But, what is more, is that I want this.

She lets me drink longer, and when I am done, it feels like my eyes are just as red as fire. I feel full of power. I feel bigger and stronger than I usually have felt. Maybe she knew this was the end?

I turned to walk away, "'Well, don't you love it?'" She shrieks.

I probably don't get to leave until I pour out compliments, "'It is-'" I find myself staring at another painting hanging on her wall. A painting of Kali done in only pencil. She has her fangs out (something I've only seen when she took my heart out and squeezed it), blood tears spilling out of her eyes, and a crown of thorns placed on her head. It captivates me, and makes me sad that I am killing my creator, "' Красивый. Просто красивый.'" (Beautiful. Simply Beautiful.) I turn and walk out of the room.

I don't know how, but I figured out that the bird-snake-woman creature is protecting kali's heart. And I decided that it lives under the castle most likely in the dungeons. I'll skip all the boring details. The main point is that: I found it, battled it, said a corny joke like all heroes do, ripped off it's head, took kali's heart and walked out.

Okay, so I have the heart behind my back as I walk into Kali's art room.

"'Gabriel, have you seen my beautiful woman-creature? She seems to be daft and not listening to me.'" Kali is lounging on her couch naked with her robe thrown over a chair.

"'No, Kali.'"

"'Are you sure?'"

"'yes, Kali.'"

"'Positive?'"

"'Of course, Kali.'"

"'What have you got behind your back, my prince?'"

"'Nothing, Kali.'" I lie.

"'Are you lying to me?'"

"'yes, Kali.'" I smile.

"'Well, secrets are no fun unless you share with everyone.'" She smiles.

Oh, she will smile when she sees what I have for her!

I pull the heart from behind my back, "'Surprise!'" I shout.

Her smile falls and a look of disapproval takes it's place. Slowly, calmly, she sits up and grabs her robe. She stands up and ties it shut, "'Give that here. You don't know what it is.'"

"'Oh, yes I do.'" I like this game!

"'You don't know what to do with it, baby.'" She reaches her hand out.

"'Of course I do!'" I pull out a knife, "'I stab it!'" I shout with glee.

Kali lunges at me but misses slightly to the right, and so I start the chase. She runs after me and we end up on the roof of the castle. I almost fall off and find that I have myself cornered.

"'Gabriel, don't do that. You know you shouldn't run with sharp objects,'" She says sweetly.

"'No, I really think I should run with sharp objects.'" I hold the dagger poised over the heart in my hand.

"'Don't,'" She says.

I inch the knife closer.

"'Gabriel!'" she warns.

Closer the knife goes.

"'Gabriel! As your maker, I command you to let go of that knife!'" She says with power.

I can't help it, I let the knife fall to the floor.

"'Drop the heart.'" She says with more power.

I look behind me, "'Okay. Just remember that you told me to do it.'" I fling the heart off the top of the roof.

"'NO!'" She screeches.

I dive off the building trying to catch it in midair. My calculations were wrong. I land and break my neck. It's nothing seriously fatal, but it doesn't heal instantly. I see the sun starting to rise, and I know that I have good timing. My neck is about fixed and I am trying to reach for her heart but she lands on top of me and pins me to the ground.

"'So, you want a heart stabbed, do you? Well, I think that can be arranged.'" She slices open my chest again with her razor sharp nails, "'Say 'goodnight', Gabriel.'" She tears out my heart and bites into it with her massive fangs. I flinch, but it's only because I don't have a heart in my body. Kali pauses, and spits out the pieces of the heart. She starts screeching in agony and flailing around.

"'Aro is the only one that knew how to kill you, huh?'" I say, "'Well, you forgot that I was a shape shifter. No ones secrets are safe from me.'" her eyes go wide.

Have you ever shattered a mirror? Or seen it happen in a movie? If you take a hammer and throw it at a mirror, then first it cracks into many little pieces, and then, the pieces will fall out, one by one by one. Well, that's exactly what happened to Kali. It looked like somebody shattered Kali's reflection, because first her skin was broken up by little black lines and then all the color fell out of her, like pieces from a jigsaw puzzle. But, this still wasn't over. Standing in front of me was a soul skeleton ( it's somebody's skeleton but it can still do damage to people.) It was as black as a night without the moon or stars, as is Kali's black heart and black deeds. Kali's skeleton came at me, but the sun had started rising behind it.

"'And legend shall become my reality.'" I quoted from my dream.

The skeleton didn't have time to turn around, she knew what was coming. She put her hands around my neck and tried to kill me…..but didn't have time….

Kali was a pile of ash on the grass.

"'Доброй ночи. '" (Goodnight.)

I knew I had fear etched into my face as I sat down and watched the sunrise. My last memory with my creator was of her black skeleton hands closing around my neck and her empty eyes hosting a red blaze of death from somewhere within her skull.

I looked down at the pile of ash next to me, I couldn't believe that kali was finally dead. I couldn't believe that I was free. That Johanna and Catia were free. I thought I would weep from so much happiness but no, I wasn't.

Oh, I didn't explain. Well, I had to stab Kali's heart right? And she tore into mine so why aren't I dead? Well, I forgot to mention earlier that I took out my own heart and put Kali's heart in my body. That means that the whole time, I had my heart in my hand, holding the knife over it and tricking Kali into thinking it was hers. So she stabbed her own heart when she bit into the one in my body. Clever, aren't I? So, where is my heart? It's a couple feet over to my right. But there's no rush to put it back.

Okay, enough watching the sun rise. I got to my feet and went inside to find a container for Kali's ashes, maybe two or three containers. I went back outside and distributed her ashes into each of the containers. I had the idea to spread them all around the world so that there would be no danger of her ever coming back. EVER. My journey was almost done, all I had to do was destroy this nightmare. I went back into the castle and found a lighted torch. I grabbed it and went into Kali's art room where she often painted and sat. I approached the couch but couldn't will myself to set fire to it. I turned to the red velvet curtains but couldn't bring myself to set those ablaze either! I have no love for her! No attachment anymore! I don't understand why I can't destroy something that I hated so much! I snuffed out the torch and threw the damned thing at the stone wall. I was about to run from the castle, when, I felt the sudden need to bring her paintings with me. I felt I couldn't leave them there. So I grabbed two (the rest can be destroyed for all I cared) I grabbed my portrait and the drawing of Kali wearing the crown of thorns. I found another container to carry my heart in since I wasn't quite sure how to put it back inside me. I closed the front door and grabbed my containers and paintings and ran to the front gate. I locked it and threw the key far away. I ran again, off towards the sounds of a nearby town. And I never looked back again.

-Gabriel


	28. GOING ACROSS THE COUNTRY

GOING ACROSS THE COUNTRY….

I will figure out the date soon.

Time has stopped. Time has no value anymore. Not like it every did. For as long as I can remember I've been waiting to die, or waiting to live, or waiting for an answer which would never come. My first sunrise and sunset have molded into one huge sunrise and sunset, a never ending occurrence. Being a vampire, nothing is ever a surprise, and nothing ever ends. The only thing that I dream about missing is my last sunset. I get a first, and billions of others…but never a last.

I spent the entire morning walking towards a village and now I've finally reached a house. A 30-year old woman inside and 2 younger children. I set my objects down outside the house and kick open the door.

"'Hunny, Im home.'" I smile.

The woman drops her cooking pot and the children scream.

"'Ajutor! Cineva de ajutor! Cine esti tu? Ce faci aici?'" (Help! Someone help! Who are you? What are you doing here?) She shouts at me.

I walk into the room and stroll through the kitchen. I can only imagine how good the food must smell to the family, but to me it smells repulsive.

"'Stop strigând! Acesta iti va face nici un bine. Eu pot ucide tine si familia ta înainte de a deschide gura din nou.'" (Stop shouting! It will do you no good. I can kill you and your family before you open your mouth again.)

She clamped her mouth shut and put her arms around her two boys.

I pick up a giant kitchen knife and saunter over to the boys, "'Bună ziua acolo. Cum să vă spun despre mama ta să meargă-mi nişte haine şi nişte bani?'" (Hello there. How about you tell your mother to go get me some clothes and some money?).

The older boy pulled his mother into the back.

"'Tu acolo. Care este data?'" (You there. What is the date?) I question the small boy.

"'Februarie al cincilea rând, domnule.'" (February 5th, sir.) He stammered.

"'Shit! I can't believe I was there for three months! It only felt like three days.'" I mumbled under my breath.

"'Domnule,'" The little boy yanked on my pants, "'Ai de gând să ne omoare?'" (Sir, Are you going to kill us?) He asked.

I sighed and looked at the knife in my right hand, "'Nu înca.'" (Not today.)

The woman and older son return with a pile of clothes and a lot of cash.

"'I will spare your lives since you cooperated.'" I turn to the door and before I exit I turn around, "'Oh, I almost forgot.'" I aim and throw the knife.

The woman screams and turns her head to the side and looks at the knife now embedded in her wall. When she and her sons look up, I am gone.

I have the clothes she gave me on, the money in my pockets ($1,000) and my paintings and containers under my arms.. I run into town and to the post office.

"'English?'" I ask the guy at the counter.

He rolls his eyes, "'Yes.'"

"'Good. I need you to wrap these paintings and send them to this address,'" I write down the address of the house in Ireland, "'in a month and a half.'"

The guy takes my paintings, looks at the one of me and stares with wide eyes.

"'I take it you hate your job? That it's boring? You want to kill yourself, don't you?'" I ask.

He looks close to tears and finally they fall. Crap! I was just joking!

"'Your right! So, so right! This is a boring job and I have a boring life!'" He grabs onto my shirt, "'You have no idea how many times I've tried to kill myself but it backfired!'"

I only meant to scare him, I swear! His explanation hits close to home though. I remember a Russian boy that had just married and played Russian roulette.

I lean in close and whisper, "'I can make you feel better.'"

"'How? Are you a drug dealer?'"

I laugh full outright. Drugs! That's a new one.

"'Meet me out back in three.'" With that, I turn and walk out of the postal office.

Three minutes later, the guy is walking down the alley to meet me in the dark.

"'You got money?'" I ask him.

He fans out some cash, "'You got the drugs?'"

I take the money and count it, "'No. I got something better. But it's going to cost more than four hundred dollars.'" I glare down at the little man.

He grumbles angrily then hands me four hundred more dollars. Where a postal man gets this kind of money I have no idea, and as long as the money is in my hand I don't care.

"'So where is this 'better-than-drugs' drug?'" the grumpy man asked.

"'Close your eyes.'" He obeyed, "'And don't scream.'"

I leaned towards his neck and bit right in. But instead of releasing my venom I release ecstasy. I have smelt his blood, it's repulsive and bitter, so I will not drink it. I don't swallow, I only inject.

I release as much ecstasy into him as I think it's possible for a human to handle.

When his heart rate slowed drastically, I dropped him to the ground and walked away. Someone would find him eventually.

I stole some kid's backpack and shoved the ashes and my heart into it. I ran all the way to the nearest airport and got on the first flight out: to India.

I have a plan to spread all of Kali's ashes about the world so they can not possibly ever be united. I know it's not possible for her to come back by having ashes re-joined but, Kali isn't just any vampire. And I can't take any chances.

The plane has landed and I get off. I casually stroll through the airport and catch transportation out into the middle of nowhere. This is kind of morbid, I know, but whatever, I am a morbid person.

I knock on a door, "'Excuse me, do you speak English?'"

The man nods.

"'Well, I am quite sorry that I have to be the one to tell you this, but your great aunt has passed away.'" The man puts his hand over his mouth and in the back of his home I hear his wife start crying, "'It was her last wish to be cremated. And I am here to deliver her ashes to you.'" I pull out one of the containers and hand it to him.

He cradles it to his chest.

"'Okay. So, again I am sorry for your loss but I got to go. Enjoy those ashes, buddy, and be careful not to let them out of your sight.'" I wink at him, turn around and walk back the other way.

"' Wait! Wait!'" He calls after me, "'That way is a desert! You will not find another house that way!'"

"'I know.'" I mutter.

The man keeps screaming after me but I continue walking away and into the desert. Eventually, I just drop to my knees and dig out a grave for myself.

I have felt so many things in my lifetime, anger, sadness, pain, thirst, power, but now I don't feel anything at all. It's like someone flipped a switch. I could care less about how fast I get somewhere, I have forever to get to that place, right? Has my whole life been working towards this one moment? Was that always my destiny, to feel nothing in the end? Or was it my destiny to feel so much at one time that eventually I would feel nothing because there isn't anything left to feel?

Is there nothing left in this world for me? Nothing surprises me, nothing gives me pleasure or feeling. Am I obsolete? Have I finally seen too much of the world or caused too much of it's grief?

No man should have the power to live forever. No one deserves to see all that will be and all that has changed the world. The only person who should see such things is God. But if that were true, then why has he not stricken the vampires from his world? Since we still walk, we must have some purpose, some grand adventure to fulfill. That purpose is not to balance the population, I know that. A bomb or a war could do that. No, there are very few who can do the things that we can do, or see what we can see, and so does that make us better than the humans? We know their mistakes we've seen them over time, yet, we make those same mistakes ourselves.

I used to call myself a God and insist that I wouldn't bow to Him…but now I am not so sure. Or maybe I am sure?

God has the same strengths and even greater as us vampires do, and humans often wonder why God didn't save their family or stop the disease from taking hold. What if Vampires are the mini-Gods placed on Earth to protect the people? Is that even possible? It's just a theory of mine, but then, why would a king ally himself with snarling, killing, monstrous beasts? He could do much better than my kind, but he loves all, even those sent from Hell, doesn't He?

Maybe Vampires are meant to protect humans, not destroy them…we have just lost our way and been thwarted by the darkness…..but haven't all people been tempted by sin?

-Gabriel


	29. BRRRR

BRRRRR-

February 12th, 2011

My mind is working again. I have to keep going. Last time I wrote, I buried myself in the middle of a desert and just waited. I have my back pack with me and I often touch the cool exterior of the can's that hold Kali's ashes. When I caress them, I practically feel the power pulsing off it. It's a great temptation when carrying such power on your shoulder. But I know what this power has done and what it can do. I have to keep going.

I push all the sand off my body and pop out of the grave, I find myself running towards the airport and getting on a flight to Alaska. Hhmmm from hot to cold. Ha! Oh Alaska! So much in common! The plane lands and I get off. The first thing I smell is other vampires, I listen and I hear them from far away. They call themselves the Denali's. And they are…vegetarian vampires! Eesh! Yuck!

I run in the opposite direction, I don't want them to know I am here and I don't want them to be after me either. Ha! That would be all I need!

But yet, While running as far away as possible from the Denali's, I also was listening as closely as possible. Wait, did I just hear the name Cullen? They know Edward and Carlisle? Hhhmmm, this might be useful! Again, I have to lie to another person! I knock on the door of a shack out in the middle of nowhere.

"' I am very sorry to be the one to tell you this, but I'm afraid your uncle is no longer with us.'" I bow my head and pull out one of the containers of ashes.

The man kind of just stares at them.

"'Uh, buddy, no matter how long you stare at that container your uncle isn't going to come back to life. Trust me,'" I pat his back, "' I had to learn that the hard way.'" I smiled and then left.

I'm thinking that maybe it wouldn't be such a bad idea to stay with the Denali's so I get a little closer to their territory and then shift into this Carlisle Cullen. I can sense their warm welcome towards me and I know that I have about 5 more minutes until I get there.

"'Oh Carlisle!'" Says one girl as she opens the door, "'We weren't expecting you! You should have called and we would have met you at the airport. Come in! Come in!'" She pulls me into the house and kisses my cheek.

"'Tanya, you are to kind! I was perfectly fine running from the airport, no need to dote on me.'" I smiled.

"'Oh Carlisle! It's so nice to have you here again,'" She led me into the kitchen, "' Will Edward and Jasper be coming soon then?'" She and her sister Kate giggled.

I searched Carlisle's mind for the answer to this mysterious giggling. Ah, the Denali girls like Edward and-and Jasper. They always enjoy flirting with them in their bikinis when the Cullens travel this way. And Tanya was sure that she would be the one to rid Edward of his virginity and bachelor status.

"'No, I'm afraid that you're stuck with me for this visit.'"

Kate got up and linked her arm through mine, "' we're never 'stuck with you', Carlisle! We enjoy your company and your stories.'"

Tanya purred, "'But the boys are an extra treat.'"

I couldn't help myself, I chuckled at that.

Kate led me upstairs to the guest room and told me that she and her sister wanted to go hunting and to fetch the rest of the clan.

She asked if I wanted to go hunting as well but I politely excused myself and said I was well fed for now but that I would join them in the morning.

Kate nodded, smiled and then left. Soon I had the house completely empty to myself and I took this time to explore. Carlisle knew where everything was and the sentimental value it held, but Gabriel didn't. And I like experiencing things for myself. So I walked through the house and looked at the pictures and the books, they even had a piano there for when Edward visited! Were these girls still that devoted? I mean, all the Cullens are married! I've never even heard of a vampire getting divorced. Well, most of them don't even have weddings, only a very few (and even then most of the vampires married by law go to vegas and just get it done with.)

One picture strikes my curiosity so I pick it up for further examination: It holds 6 vampires in it. 2 of them are Tanya and Kate, the one next to Kate has his arm around her so they must be mates (Oh, his name is Garret.) Then there is another couple sitting on the ground, an older dark haired man and a nice looking woman with curly brown hair (Eleazer and Carmen) the last is a girl next to Tanya. They have the same smile...OH! The three of them are sisters! Right, of course, the Denali Sisters. Then why is it that I do not smell a fourth woman's scent here? I search Carlisle's memory and find out that the Volturri had killed her-Irina- for lying about Edward's daughter being a vampire child. Well Caius called it a desire for war to be broken out without proper grounds, but we called it murder. I-I mean the Cullen's called it murder.

I put down the picture and went back up to my room. I closed and locked the door and with the new privacy I let my facade melt off. I was Gabriel once again as I plopped onto the bed. I sighed and let my mind wander. For the first time in...what is it now? 3 months?...I'm thinking of the Volturi killer clan. I don't exactly have many good memories of them, not even fond ones! It's a shame, really. While I was helping them I was too focused on where I might find Kali. They did seem like good people when I had first met them, but I was just too blind to notice them. I still have this hatred of Alec for having killed Jane...Jane. Wow! That's a new thought too. I miss the pain she used to cause me and the power she used to make me feel! Gggrrrr! You know what? Above all, I miss not missing anything! Ah, the good old days where all I cared about was killing somebody next! Come to think of it, back in those times I rarely even thought of Catia. I was so bloodthirsty! I miss that most about myself, all this missing stuff is so boring and so...human! Yuck! Briefly thinking about Catia brings me back to thinking of Johanna. I wish that all the times I've seen her were memories and not dreams. A memory is something that has happened in real life, and I only have one memory of Johanna: the night I met and killed her. Dreams are too hurtful so I am glad that vampires cannot sleep for I have too many things to haunt me in my dreams.

I start thinking about the fact that all my troubles first began when I was captured by the Volturi when I hear the Denali clan enter downstairs. For some reason I don't think they will come check on me just yet but they do. Tanya turns the knob to enter as I think: oh crap! I didn't lock the door!

As soon as she turns the knob and pushes the door open, I make my change back into Carlisle.

"'Hello, Tanya. Did you and the others have a nice hunting trip?'"

"'We did, thanks for asking. Will you come down with us? Eleazer is so excited to see his old friend again and we are excited for news of the rest of the family.'" She smiled brightly and I jumped off the bed to follow her.

Geez, I didn't even realize that it was morning already! It seemed like all those thoughts came to me at once but it had actually been several hours.

"'Carlisle.'" Eleazer said and stuck his hand out.

"'Eleazer. Good to see you again, friend.'" I said as I shook his hand.

I felt a twinge of sadness, I get to know all of these people but they don't get to know Gabriel. Well, nobody gets to know Gabriel.

Eleazer was about to say something else but all of the sudden, he tensed up and all the Denali's tensed as well.

"'Do you smell that?'" Garret said.

"'What is it, dear friends?'" I fake asked. I had a hunch that it was my real scent that they were smelling.

"'Another vampire.'" Eleazer spat.

"'Do we know him?'" His wife, Carmen asked.

"'No-'"he started.

"And you don't want to. He's dangerous.'"

That hit like a slap in the face! Being called dangerous by vampires you don't know doesn't exactly make me feel special or any more welcomed here!

"'It is probably just a passer by, Eleazer, no need to alarm yourself yet.'"

I saw Garret's arms relax around Kate and I realized how much these people really think of Carlisle as a leader and father figure! Not just the Cullen's but others as well. It's like a vibe melting off him saying 'I'm clean! I'm a father figure! I'm okay!'

With that one suggestion from me-Carlisle- the whole room spun into a relaxed, airy meeting of friends.

"'How is Reeneesme, Carlisle?'" Carmen asked excitedly.

"'She's doing quite well, thank you. Growing up fast and giving Jasper and Jacob a run for their money at hunting.'" The group laughed.

"'I bet! That little girl is something else! A miracle her being born and an outstanding little lady in herself.'" Garret said.

"'She is, she is. It would be wonderful if all of you came and visited soon. I know Emmett, Jasper and Edward would be pleased to see you Tanya,'" I winked at her, "' and Reeneesme would be more than delighted to see more of her favorite aunts and family.'"

"'We would love to visit soon, Carlisle! Well, how long do you plan on staying? Maybe we could come back with you?'" Kate suggested.

"'Just another week more, dear, but I'm afraid it wouldn't be possible to join me on my travel back to Forks.'"

Forks? What kind of city is named Forks? I wonder if there is a city of Spoons or perhaps Knives,then?

"'Because...?'" Kate prompted.

"'Well, because-'" because I'm not Carlisle and I'm not going back to Forks, that's why!

"'Oh, Kate, because Emmett, Alice, Jasper,'" she paused and took a wistful sigh, "'Edward,'"another pause, "' and Bella,'" she grumbled out, "'aren't in Forks! Right, Carlisle?'" Tanya said.

"'Precisely.'" Whew!

"'Then where are they? Edward wouldn't just leave Nessie.'"Kate countered.

"'Just in Ireland,'" my head snapped up, "'Alice is planning a wedding for a newbie vampire. And the rest of them are helping the coven to become vegetarians like us.'" She smiled proudly.

"'Now, would this be the same coven that you told us killed the Volturi?'" Eleazer asked.

"'Good riddance!'" Garret grumbled.

"'Yeah, the Kerry Coven.'" Tanya mused.

Which one is getting married? I wondered. Are they full fledged vegetarians? I hope not, because if they are, then they're in for a shaking up when I return. No way in hell am I going to just up and change my way of life!

"'Carlisle? Carlisle?'"

"'What? Yes? Hhmm?'" I hadn't been paying attention.

"'Oh, well I was just saying that you must be so proud of your children, how they've grown from over the years and how they use their vampirism for good.'"

"'Yes, of course.'" I said sadly.

These people must be trying to dig my grave! I hate Carlisle Cullen. I'm never going to have what he has. Do humans call that jealousy?

I don't think I'm jealous of him- I don't even want a family! But he has all these people to tell him that he is a great success and to look up to him.

I don't have that. No one looks up to me and listens to my advice, no one is home waiting to give me a kiss as I walk in the door, no children to thank me for my advice.

I don't even have a friend in this world. The vampires that destroyed the Volturi just used me. They didn't ask me to hang out with them more than it was necessary to make sure I was ready to destroy Volterra. They probably don't even care if I come back alive, and, honestly, why would they?

Why would anyone want to be with me?

Well, you know what? I don't give a damn about the world! I don't care if I have friends or not! I don't need them. All I need is me, myself, my power, and I! The world can be damned before I give a care!

-Gabriel


	30. BUSINESS OR PLEASURE?

BUSINESS OR PLEASURE?

February 19th, 2011

Yeah, so I've been here for a week. I amuse the Denali's whenever I must with Carlisle's stories, but when I can slip away up to my room then I do. When I think I won't be bothered for a while I take out my heart and I look at it, it brings me back to thoughts of my child and my love and even of the vampires living in Kerry. When Tanya said she had spoken to Alice…at first I was afraid. Surely Alice must know that Im not the real Carlisle! And if she does, then why wouldn't she expose me? Anyway, Im wondering who is getting married? Im wondering if they're sucking the towns dry or behaving as well as the Cullens? Time will tell, won't it? I still have a little while until I can go to them, I still have to finish what I had started. I have to get rid of the last of Kali's ashes and figure out how to put my heart back. Erm-well, actually, I don't need a heart. It just gets in the way, but I do feel empty there, sort of hollow.

All the sudden I hear a knock on the door, "'Come in.'" I say.

Tanya walks in, "'Well, hello, Carlisle. How is your rest, Carlisle?'"

She keeps saying his name in this weird voice. And this voice of hers makes me think that she knows that I am not him.

"'It was fine, Tanya. Can I help you with something, Tanya?'" I use that annoying voice on her.

"'Oh, Carlisle, I was just coming to check on you, Carlisle. You seem so sad and detached. Is there something wrong, Carlisle? Something that you want to tell me, Carlisle?'"

Oh my god! This woman is pissing me off!

I glare at her, "' I have nothing more to say to you, Tanya.'" I spit out in a growl.

"'Aha! Carlisle would never growl at us like that!'"

"'He would if you were being this rude!'" I jump off the bed.

"'That proves it. You said 'he' instead of' 'I'. Now, who they hell are you really?'"

"'Really? Your really want to know who I am?'"

She takes a determined stance and nods.

"'Okay,'" I grab my backpack, "'You asked for it.'" I jump at her and in the time it takes for me to pin her against the wall I am back in my own body, snarling and growling in her face.

"'Boo!'" She flinches, "'You chose the wrong day to piss me off, lady!'" I dash out of the room and down the stairs laughing out loud. These people won't catch me!

And that's when I stop. The rest of the Denali's are blocking my exit.

"'And where did you think you were going?'" Tanya asks as she casually walks down the stairs.

I don't answer. I just stare at each of them, and willing them to come towards me, I would kill them in a heartbeat!

"'How dare you abuse our hospitality! Well, you shall pay won't you?'" Tanya and her family close me in a circle.

Im spinning around with my hands out and nails ready to stab like daggers. They fall on top of me, and I use my power.

I shift into Alec and they all flinch away from me.

"'How dare I? How dare You abuse my kindness! Maybe I shall just have to kill you!'" Eleazer is holding Carmen, Garret is holding Katie, and Tanya is alone.

"'Maybe I'll just have to kill you like we killed your sister.'" I say to Tanya.

She gets a really sad look and then that's it. The Denali's are on the floor dead.

I run out the front door and into the airport.

"'California,'" I say.

Nah, I was just kidding you before, I didn't kill the Denali's. I only used Alec's power to deaden their senses. Ha! Im too clever for everyone.

California, here I come!

The plane touches down on California ground. I reach below the seat, grab my backpack and wait for the mass of slow people to get off the plane. I end up just sitting there for a while, letting everyone else get off first, eventually, it's like I'm not even there! I guess it's like sleeping. I get jolted out of it to find a flight attendant lightly pushing my shoulder, "'Sir, its time to get off the plane. You can go now.'"

I nod and she walks away.

Slowly, I rise from my seat and wander down the long, endless aisle. Each seat I pass looks the same as the one before it and the one after it, until all seats just blend into one big never ending seat. It's like my life. I've seen so much that nothing surprises me and after a while, a war is just a war, it doesn't matter the place. A person is just a person, it doesn't matter the face. An adventure is just a sullen trip down memory lane, it doesn't matter the time.

I head towards the front desk and ask where I can find an expensive water front hotel. I receive directions.

"'Would you like me to call you a taxi or a limousine?'"

I ignore him, turn and walk away. Who needs taxis when one could just run?

The hotel accepts my money (enough for a room for 16 days). I put myself into the room and lay on the comfy bed. The next time I look at the clock it is 3 nights later. I want to just lay in that bed forever, but I've already counted the ceiling tiles 100 times. I rise off the bed and out the door. I head to the loudest, most crowded nightclub, I have myself as I was when I was still human. Passing a mirror I stop to look, my eyes are emerald green, my nose is crooked from drunken fights, and I seem somehow shorter. I continue on to pass the bar, "' what can I get ya?'" The woman at the bar asks.

"'Bourbon?'" I ask.

She pours my drink, I pay her, and walk away. I lean up against the wall and casually sip my drink. This place is pretty neat, the music making the wall vibrate, the bright lights, and then all the people. I see this girl coming straight towards me. She's pretty, about 20 years old and- ohhhh, she's wearing a very tight, very lowcut shirt and a, uh, well, um, a very short skirt. That makes me very uncomfortable when she is standing right in front of me.

"'Hey there, Stud. So, are you here on business?'" She leans in close and whispers, "'Or pleasure?'"

My eyes go wide, oh my god! Is she making a pass at me for a one night stand?

When she reaches her hand up to caress my face I grab her wrist, "'Neither.'"

"'Well, I can do both.'" She gives me a seductive look.

"'Stop it. Your twenty years old, way to young to be doing this.'" I give her my best adult voice.

She looks close to tears, "'You're right! Its just the everyone thinks I'm easy so that's what I've become.'" She hugs me and I put my arm around her.

"'It's all his fault.'" She sobs.

"'Who? Whose fault is it?'" I ask.

"'Johnny's.'"

"'Is Johnny here tonight?'" She nods, "'Where?'"

She points up to the bar and I see him. About 6-feet, blonde hair spiked up and an earring. I shove my glass into the girls hand and start towards him.

"'Wait! No! Don't!'" She calls after me and tries to stop me but, even in human form, I am too strong for her.

""Hey. You.'" I say while standing next to him.

"'Me?'" He asks.

"'Yeah, you. Is your name Johnny?'"

"'Uh, yeah. What about it, Pops?'" He and his friends snicker.

What? Did the punk ass just call me 'pops'?

"'Excuse me?'" I say.

"'You heard me, POPS.'"

I nod and laugh with him and his friends. Johnny gets confused at my laughter and turns to look at me. I grab his shirt front, lift him and slam him up onto the bar.

"'Now, you listen here, punk. There are three things very true that I've learned since I've been here for five minutes and you need to hear them.'" Johnny starts shaking. "'One-That girl over there,'" I turn his head to see the girl I was talking to, "' is NOT easy. Its just a nasty rumor you spread about her! Two-,'" I slam him into the bar again, "'I am NOT a 'pops'. I am many things, but I'm not old!,'" I pause, "' How about we have a grand unmasking?'" I raise my voice.

The crowd cheers as I step up onto the bar top and yank Johnny to his feet.

"'You know, everybody wears a mask,'" I say to the crowd, "'even your dear idiot, Johnny.'"

"'What did you call me?'"

"'An idiot.'" Johnny throws a punch and misses.

I grab his arm and twist it behind his back, "'I wear a mask everyday because I can't show who I really am. Its not that I'm afraid to, its just that I can't. But you, Johnny, are just afraid so you make up for your fear with this act.'"

"'Un mask yourself and we'll see about me.'" He puts his fists up.

"'You really don't want to see the real me. He's pissed off.'"

"'Yeah? Well, what will he be now?'" Before I know what he is saying, Johnny punches me.

My head goes back and I taste blood coming from my lip.

Again, before I know what is happening, Johnny hits me in the stomach. I fold over myself and clench my human stomach. Shit this really hurts! This is one thing I DON'T miss about getting into bar fights as a human.

Slowly, I raise my head.

"'Your turn, POPS.'" The boy gives me a smug smile.

"'You asked for it. Come on, hit me again.'"

Johnny lashes out at me but I step to the side. I grab his arm and break it over my leg.

He falls to the ground yelling in agony.

"'That's still not even the real me.'" Much to my surprise, with a broken arm, Johnny gets back onto the bar.

"'More? But last time I broke your arm and you could only split my lip. Your asking for another broken arm pal.'"

He tries to hit me with his left hand, but that's just sloppy. I lash out and hit his nose. He falls off for good with blood spurting out his nose.

"'We all wear a mask. And I think I just took yours off.'" The crowd cheers as I step down and walk to the exit.

"'Wait!'" I turn to see one of Johnny's friends standing looking at me "'What was number three? You said there were three very true things.'"

I looked to Johnny who was looking at me, then to the girl I fought for, she mouthed 'thank you'.

"'Number three?'" The crowd stares at me waiting to hear what I have to say, "'Johnny is an asshole.'" The crowd cheers again as I turn and walk back to the hotel.

-Gabriel


	31. I'M DONE

I'M DONE

March 7th, 2011

These past thirteen days have gone by so fast and I could hardly distinguish one day from the one before. Most of the time, I was in my hotel room with the blinds shut, sometimes I had them open and sat on the balcony. One time I indulged myself enough to take my own human form and stroll along the beach. That one time, I saw Johnny again. He had a cast on his right arm and a broken nose, so I waved and sent him a giddy smile. Let's just say that I'm pretty sure I appear in that boy's nightmares.

Last night was…interesting. Last night I got rid of the last of my birth. I decided that just handing them to a person wasn't good enough, I had to spread them. That means that in the dead of night I crept down to the beach. I waded into the water and opened the top of the can. With one last look at her ashes, I tilted the cup and watched them fly out and land in the water or fly along the wind. In no time at all, the waves had Kali's ashes churned up and away from each other. I dashed out of the water and sat at the edge watching the waves roll along. Waves don't end, my life doesn't end. Does that mean that Kali's doesn't? If everything good has ended, then does the bad exist forever?

As I sat watching the water churn and pondering the existence of Evil, the sun began to rise.

The sky went from black to grey, then a hazy mist color, and then a shimmering gold on the horizon. That shimmering gold got bigger and brought blazing oranges and vibrant reds! To be honest, I thought it was beautiful. And I also thought that the vampires in Kerry would be seeing the same sun rise as me. No matter how far away we are from each other, we can always be together through the sun. As the sun begins to take it's full effect I stand up and start back towards the hotel. I won't make it back without someone seeing me so I Shift into human form and leisurely stroll down the boardwalk. The idea of Evil existing while the life of Good is snuffed out continues to haunt me. I am alone on the boardwalk except for a man playing an acoustic guitar.

"'Want to learn how to play?'" he asks.

I pull out my pockets, "'I don't have any money to pay you with.'"

The guy shrugs and pushes the guitar into my hands. Until noon that day I am being drilled on chords of the guitar. Thank god I am a fast leaner otherwise I would have shoved the instrument down his throat! I got so angry with the stupid thing.

"'Thank you for teaching me.'" I say handing it back to the man.

He looks at the guitar, then at me and all of the sudden his face takes on a different look, completely different, "'No, Thank you.'" He places the guitar back in my hands and walks away. I call after him but he has vanished into the sea of people. I go back to the hotel and wait quietly until I can go to the airport in the cover of night.

I leave a large tip for the maid since she put up with a lot of my orders and shenanigans. While reaching for my bag, I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror. A fugitive on the run. I Shift into my brother and My mind starts racing:

I wonder if I would have looked like my brother? Would I have been his look alike had I remained human, took over the family business with him, had a wife and played cards twice a week with the prestigious men of our town? I stare at his reflection in the hotel mirror, his short dark brown hair and blue eyes (like the rest of my family), his 5' 9" height and his neat tuxedo. Yup, Nikolai is all dressed up to go to a Christmas party.

I shift into my human form. For a long time I just stare at him, stare at the empty soul, stare at the useless excuse of a boy. He is everything his family wasn't. The boy with the piercing green eyes, long black hair, an unshaven face. He's 6' 5", his eye is blackened and his nose is crooked from being in a fight at the bar. His trousers are dirty and his shirt is wrinkled and stained with blood and spilt alcohol. Yeah, this kid is ready to break his mothers heart and wreck the fun of the party by staggering in drunk and making his brother late.

The people laughed at this boy and insulted him, they called him a gypsy, a brat, an un-thankful ingrate, among other ugly names.

I shift back into Nikolai. Everyone praised him and said he would be the king of business, he would make any family happy and proud with a face that expressed happiness and pride, a face that his youngest brother did not have and never would.

Would it be that just because he would never have amounted to anything or because he was destined to become a vampire? I guess I won't get to know, no one gets to know what would have been, that's a gift. And no one deserves a gift like that.

I stare at my vampire self in the mirror. If I could take one guess as to how my face would be if I stayed human, it would be the same as it was that Christmas eve because I would never amount to anything. I was destined to disappoint for eternity. Disappoint myself, disappoint my family, disappoint my daughter, disappoint Johanna. I just overall disappoint. If there is a way to mess things up, I find it.

I grab the guitar and my bag and run for the airport.

"'Hello sir! Welcome to California International Airport. Where-?'"

"'Send me to Ireland.'" I cut him off.

I get a nasty look (I deserved it), "'You made it just in time. The flight is boarding now.'"

I snatch the ticket from his hand and dash towards gate 5. I flop into the airplane seat and let my mind wander for the next 11 hours. I wander from Catia to Johnny, from Kali to Faine, to the Cullens and finally, quite a bit on myself. I had so many thoughts about each that it would be impossible to write them all down.

Those long 11 hours later has me pushing and shoving my way off the plane and out the airport doors. Hhmmm- on second thought: I whistle for a taxi and hop into the car. I give him directions and I am on my way to County Kerry in the south of Ireland. I'm so close! I smell them. Alec and Faine and Demetri and Valentina! I smell them all! The taxi lurches to a stop and I throw cash into the front seat. I grasp my guitar by the neck and stride up to the door.

Knock-Knock-Knock.

-Gabriel


	32. HOME IS WHERE THE HEART IS

HOME IS WHERE THE HEART IS….

March 8th, 2011

When I last left off I had knocked on the door of the house that they all live in.

Alec opens the door, "'Gabriel!'" I stride in and he closes the door behind me.

Valentina, Chelsea and Katy try to hug me but I won't let them. I put my hands in front of me like a barrier and I growl at them.

"'We thought you were dead!'" They shrieked.

"'Oh, we forget how grumpy you are. We're so sorry for caring about you, Your Highness.'" Chelsea said sarcastically. I let out another low rumble from my throat.

I never used to growl, I guess I'm just not used to any company at all. Actually, come to think of it, I growled a lot when I was at-. Well, when I was with-. While I was in-. I was with-. With HER.

"'Oh, Gabriel! Gabriel!'" Katy starts but I stop listening.

Wait- What is that? I feel something prickling my mind. It's trying to get into my thoughts. I whirl around to find Faine concentrating on me.

Before anybody knows what going on, I grab Faine's throat and shove her into the nearest wall. She is clawing at my hands trying to get me to let go. I don't hear anything. I know they are shrieking at me and yelling but I can't hear it. Nobody is using their power on me but I'm blocking it out. Having Faine struggling in my grasp brings back the feeling of predator-prey. My vision becomes a foggy red, like blood in the water. Then I feel Alec on my back pounding at me and trying to get me to let go. I throw my one hand back and he flies into the wall. It was as easy as swatting away a fly.

I turn back to Faine, "'Stay out of my head!'" The words come out in a low, hostile rumble. I've never heard myself speak like that before! And, surprise! My fangs were fully out, which means I wanted her to challenge me. I wanted it more than anything! I still felt her inside me, trying to find my memories. But, she wasn't going to find them fast enough.

I slammed down a mental barrier and she flinched back in pain, "'Stay. Out. Of. My. Mind.'" I repeated again slowly, but just as angrily. I let go of her and immediately Alec is at her to make sure she is okay. I spin around and find all of the guys in front of their wives. What! So now I'm the enemy!

"'My room.'" I say in a controlled voice. Faine walks forward and up the stairs. I follow her. As I am leaving the room, I catch a glimpse of a newborn vampire. A girl, she has jet black hair and looks about 16. I forget about her instantly and Faine lets me into a room with a window.

"'I hope this is fine for you, Gabriel?'"

I didn't answer. I pulled the blinds closed on the window so it was pitch black and sat on the floor with my back to the door.

"'Gabriel-'"

I closed my eyes, "'Get out.'" She didn't move, "'Now.'" I thundered. She closed the door and left me.

I took my heart out of the bag and held it in my palm. What have I done? What has she done to me? I haven't felt the need to feed since…since before I went to Her castle. I haven't growled at anybody since I growled at Alec for threatening Jane. I- I can hear them downstairs as if they were in this very room with me! I'm not the same to them. And they aren't the same to me! They pretend they are humans living in this house, having weddings, and giving out hugs! They aren't humans, they're monsters! Walkers of the night, drinkers of blood, thief's of souls, destroyers of lives. We aren't playing house for Gods sake!

Oh my God! What has- She- done to me? It's like I'm not a vampire anymore- I'm much more powerful. Does that make me a God now?

I stare at my heart as if it holds all the answers and I feel a tingling in my chest where it was slashed open.

"'What does one do when they have seen everything? When the have nothing to live for?'" I pause, "'Do they die?'" I feel my chest burning again but I also taste Her blood dripping down my throat and I groan like I was actually tasting it.

"'Die,'" I throw my heart at the wall disgusted by it, "'I can't.'" And then I put my back to it. I put my face in my hands and wish I could cry. Hah! Not like it would do me any good! Hah!

-Gabriel


	33. I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME

I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME…

March 10th, 2011

I wake up to find myself under the covers of a giant bed. Wait, this isn't the house in Kerry! And this isn't the bed that was in my room.

I sit up and push my hair out of my eyes. I bring my hand from my face and feel something interesting. I feel heat. Coming from my own body. I place my hand in the center of my chest and I feel something pounding against it! I rush from the bed and over to a mirror on the wall.

When-? When did fashion change? I'm wearing a long white shirt with ruffles at the wrist and pants from the 1300's.

I pull up my shirt and touch my chest again, I don't have any claw marks from-from-from Her. The beating continues.

Thump-thump. Thump-thump.

This, can't be. I look in the mirror. My nose is more crooked then it was 4 days ago and my eyes are bloodshot. This really can't be.

I go to a small table and pick up a letter opener. I slice my wrist open and stare at it waiting for the wound to heal. But it doesn't.

The lace at my wrist slowly turns red. I run to the giant window and yank open the drapes.

"'О мой Бог. Невозможный!'" (Oh my God. Impossible!)

I find myself staring at my own backyard from 1390. The green trees and wide fields.

I climb back into the bed and try to wake up from this dream.

How is it that I can be human? I look at my still bleeding wrist.

How is it that I can be back in the 1300's?

There is a knock on my door, "'Enter.'"

The door opens but instead of my brother or a servant, I see her. Catia. My beautiful girl.

"'Catia! How can you be alive?'" I rush over to her and pick her up.

"'Отец, почему Вы говорите как этот?'" (Father, why are you speaking like that?)

I clear my throat, "'Catia! Вы не мертвый! Как? '" (Catia! You aren't dead! How?)

"'Отец, Вы пугаете меня. Может быть я должен пойти, получают кого - то? '" (Father, you're scaring me. Maybe I should go get someone?)

She tries to get out of the giant bed but I grab her hand.

"' Номер не уезжает, Hunny. Папа прекрасен. '" (No. Don't leave, Hunny. Daddy is fine.)

She is still standing on the bed but now she comes closer to me, "'Я тоскую без Вас. Мать тоскует без Вас. Почему не Вы никогда вокруг? '" (I miss you. Mother misses you. Why are you never around?) Tears start spilling down my cheeks as she pauses.

"' Я думал, что Вы любили меня? '" (I thought you loved me?) I'm full out sobbing now.

"' Я делаю, Catia. Я делаю! Папа любит Вас очень! '" (I do, Catia. I do! Daddy loves you very much!)

She falls over my shoulder and I cradle her.

"'Catia, пожалуйста простите мне! Мне дали вторую возможность, и я собираюсь делать все правом. Я клянусь это! Я получу работу с дядей Николэем, и я буду любить вашу мать, и я буду здесь для Вас, я обещаю! '" (Catia, please forgive me! I've been given a second chance and I'm going to make everything right. I swear it! I'll get a job with uncle Nikolai and I'll love your mother and I'll be here for you, I promise!)

She hasn't responded to me, "'Catia, пожалуйста ответьте на меня. Catia? " (Catia, please answer me. Catia?)

I pull her away from my shoulder and cradle her in my lap. I brush away her hair from her face, "'Catia? Catia, нет! Нет, нет, нет! пожалуйста возвратитесь ко мне! Возвратитесь! '" (Catia? Catia, no! No, no, no! please come back to me! Come back!)

The rose has gone from her cheeks and her heart no longer beats. The life has gone out of her eyes as they stare up at me.

"' Нет! Нет! Не ее! Кто - либо еще, но ее! '" (No! No! Not her! Anybody else but her!)

I lean over her and fresh sobs rack my body. I yell for someone, for anyone! But this house appears to be empty.

All is still and silent until I hear laughter.

It isn't a child's laughter, it's an evil maniacal laughter. I recognize it to be Kali's.

"'You're next!'" She starts saying and I begin to feel evil work it's way into the room.

I look down at Catia and I remember what happened the first time: Kali made me a vampire because I wanted to escape this world and I wanted to feel things my own way.

"'No! No! I won't let you get me!'" I jump from the bed and grab the letter opener, I see the lifeless form of my little girl on the bed in the mirror reflection and I also see wisps of black coming for me.

"'Catia, I told you I would make things right,'" I said to her, I gripped the knife tightly in my hand, "'Even if it means dying.'" I raise it to my throat and slash it open.

Blood splatters onto the mirror and I fall to the ground and stare at my bloody reflection in the mirror. I wish I would die faster, Kali is getting closer and I can't chance her venom getting into me.

English literature is a funny thing. It comes to you at the oddest of moments and in the oddest of ways. Often, it is because we see a spring day and think of the famous line 'Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?' Or maybe because we stand in the park that a story was written in. Poets and writers care so much for their work and some artists don't become famous until after they are dead. How would we ever know what Shakespeare was thinking as he wrote Romeo and Juliet? Yes, we see it as a love story. But maybe that isn't why he wrote it. Perhaps dear Shakespeare wrote it as a warning for 15 year old girls to stay away from older guys, or for the valuable lesson of 'death follows all fools who rush too willingly into love'. I guess what I'm thinking is that we really don't know why artists write what they write and what they mean when they write it.

So now, I think of a poem, not because I am where it was written but because I Am why it was written:

"Blood red were his spurs in the golden noon; wine-red was his velvet coat,

When they shot him down on the highway,

Down like a dog on the highway,

And he lay in his blood on the highway, with a bunch of lace at his throat."

By Alfred Noyes

I am The Highway Man.

I stare at my reflection in the mirror and look at the bloody lace at my throat. One drop of blood for every life I've taken. That's a lot of blood.

Why am I still not dead?

Kali is getting closer so I grasp the knife and stab myself in the stomach.

Why am I not dying or feeling pain now?

Kali is getting closer still!

With one last surge of energy, I raise my knife and aim for my heart.

Ah, at last, that final plunge. The final death. My final judgment.

I look at my daughter as my spirit leaves my body and I cry for her to have been taken so young and so harshly.

"Tlot-tlot, in the frosty silence! Tlot-tlot in the echoing night!

Nearer he came and nearer! Her face was like a light!

Her eyes grew wide for a moment, she drew one last deep breath,

Then her finger moved in the moonlight,

Her musket shattered the moonlight,

Shattered her breast in the moonlight and warned him-with her death."

I love death!

I spoke too soon. My soul is yanked back into my body and I raise my head to see that my heart was not pierced by a dagger, no, but by Kali's fangs instead.

Her wicked lavender eyes gaze up at me and her white blonde hair flows over my chest.

My head falls to the floor and my screams increase with the burning of her venom spreading through me.

"'I died for you! I did this for you!'" I shout to Catia.

"'You died for me?'" Kali kisses my cheek, "'How sweet.'"

With what little strength I have, I crawl over to the bed and collapse next to Catia.

My breaths are becoming shorter and shorter, my heart is beating so fast that I'm sure it'll explode and I feel an aching in my gums that I'm sure will become my fangs.

I grab Catia's hand, "'I love you.'" I kiss it, "'Don't you for one second think that I didn't. My only regret in life, '" My breathing is so shallow and my heart is slowing drastically, "' Is that I wasn't there for you.'' And that's it.

My body becomes still and I feel a wave of ice sweep up from my toes to my head.

No matter which way things happened, I was destined to die a never ending death. And my daughter was destined to go down with me.

Why? Why does someone as pure as her have to die while a monster like me gets to live?

The burning is back and I start screaming. I start screaming and I can't stop.

-Gabriel


	34. LOST

LOST

March 17th, 2011

I can't take any more of this. Catia keeps coming back to me and my heart breaks more and more each time.

I am back in my room in Kerry but I see her still. She knocks on the door or peeps out from under the bed, "'Папа! Игра со мной! '" (Daddy! Play with me!)

But they all end the same way: she hugs me and dies in my arms. She trips and I catch her, she dies in my arms. She asks me to braid her hair, I finish and she is dead.

I tell myself not to believe that she is back, but I want her to be so bad that it's like seeing her for the first time! Its a miracle! Then its gone again.

Then I hear the same maniacal laughter after Catia's re-death, its Her laugh. She plucks my dead child from my arms and dances her around the room with her purple eyes and sparkly hair pulling me in. Her purple eyes look deep into my soul and bring up dark memories and feelings of anger. I thought I killed Her, didn't I? I can't be sure of anything anymore, it all seems like a distant memory. After my trip to the past, I'm wondering if I changed anything? Is She still alive by some mistake of mine?

She let's go of my daughter and I leap from the floor to grab her precious body before it hits the floor. But Catia has vanished and instead I find myself standing in front of Her stroking my arms. I let out a roar and bite into her shoulder. The first drop is warm and powerful! But then it gets cold and disgusting. I pull away and see a trail of blue coming from her now closed wound.

"' Why don't you go downstairs and see what kind of havoc you have reaped, my little monster?'" The door creaks open and I brush past Her. She laughs as I walk down the stairs in a daze. I find the main room in disarray. Chairs and tables are overturned, dishes are shattered, and Katy is sobbing on the floor. Valentina rushes over to her and picks her up, hugging her and pretending everything will be alright. In the distance I see a mass of red hair running away: Faine. I look to the corner and there is that boy holding the dark haired girl. She looks up at me with interest while the boy smoothes her hair.

"'Impossible.'" I say. No one except the dark haired girl looks at me.

"' Oh no, my lover, it very possible.'" Says Her while peeping over my shoulder.

"'I couldn't have done this. I couldn't have killed Alec, Felix, Demetri and the others! I couldn't have!'" I'm all worked up. I'm searching through my mind for what happened.

"' Oh, but you did.'" I hear Her voice even though her body has disappeared.

I run up to my room to hide from the awful sight but am greeted by yet another.

Kali is perched on top of the bed and admiring the wall.

"'We had a good time then, didn't we?'" My portrait is on the wall. That smirk on my face, the twinkle in my red eyes, the blood splattered everywhere.

"'Did I tell you I used real blood for the red?'" She says gladly.

And then her portrait captivates me. Thorns in her hair, her mouth open in a scream and a single black tear rolling down her cheek.

"'You killed them, Gabriel. It's all your fault they are dead!'" She starts chanting over and over again. I back into the wall and a tear of blood rolls down my cheek.

"'No! I'm not like you! I don't kill people that way!'"

She stops, "'we're more alike then you think.'" There is a tear of blood rolling down her portraits cheek just like mine. Each inch that it moves is like hearing a gun shot ringing on my ears. It falls to the ground in slow motion and lands with a bang

"'No.'"

"'Oh yes.'" She takes a breath and blows it out, like blowing out a candle. The room is plunged into total darkness and I feel like I'm falling. Falling deeper than any circle of Hell. Deeper than earth's core. Spinning faster and faster like I'm on a roller coaster that I can't get off. Like a spinning coin, there are 2 sides but it moves too fast to see them. You know that one is heads and one is tails. But which is which? Was that flash of light tails? I fall to the floor and wish for this all to be over, I wish for this to just be a nightmare that I'll wake up from any second now.

Her face appears over me, "'you better get used to nightmares,'" a suspenseful pause, "'because you're in one.'" She snaps.

I spend the next few days ignoring the evil sounds coming from the darkness. The evil tap-tap of fingers on the glass, the snarls of wolves biting at my heels, the cackling of evil in the darkness, the slithering of snakes winding their bodies up mine and the screech of cats protesting to a persons visit.

This week has turned into one never ending night. I haven't left to apologize to the girls about my having killed their husbands, I feel like I can't, I can't bear to break their hearts like that again. Slowly, painfully, I turn my head towards the window, a window of light peeps out from the frame. I crawl over to it and reach to open up the blinds. The sunlight has me on the floor flinching into the shadows, it was much brighter and stronger than I remember. I reach my hand up and snap the shade shut so I can breathe a sigh of relief. I sit in the middle of the room with my legs crossed and my eyes wide open. Is this how I'm going to spend the rest of my days? Hiding in the dark in this room?

Someone throws the door in and I see Jordan's outline. I don't move at the sound. Jordan charges over to me and starts demanding to know what happened.

Oh my god! Jordan didn't seem like she could get this angry a couple months ago. What if I changed her and made her an angry person because of my time travel?

She slaps me across the face but I don't feel it. Then she sighs angrily and leaves the room muttering about calling me useless.

Useless? I am useless, I killed her family after all. I don't want to be useless. But I'm, I'm lost.

I hear a knock on the door-its the dark haired girl.

She cautiously enters the room and kneels in front of my burning red eyes.

"'Gabriel? My name is Lottie. I live here now too. The boy you saw me with is Bastien.'" She pauses.

I examine her further. She can't be more than 16 year old, I look into her black eyes and I see pain. Pain for her and for humans. At least some vampires are sane around here.

I feel like I'm going to smile, she's pretty but dark looking at the same time, then I see Her standing behind Lottie. I let out a growl and take a protective stance in fron of her.

"' Go away! I won't let you kill her like you killed the others!'" I yell at her.

But Lottie moves to stand in front of me, her eyes follow my gaze.

"'Gabriel, no one is there.'"

The sudden shock of Lottie's words hits me. 'No one is there.' I reach my hand out to Kali but it passes through her and her body dissolves into a mist.

I lean against the wall and let my body slide down it. Lottie keeps trying to catch my gaze but I'm staring somewhere far off.

I start mumbling something in russian, even I don't understand what I'm saying at first.

"'Slow down, tell me again in english.'"

I like Lottie, she's cool. She's calm and sweet but determined and urgent too.

I stick my hand into the sliver of sunlight, "'All that is myth will become reality.'" I repeat Johanna's words. I hold up my burnt hand to show her.

Lottie grasps it and holds it, "'Gabriel, nothing is wrong with your hand.'"

I look at it. She's wrong! Its black and burnt!

I think of her words and play them in my mind a few times while repeating my russian gibberish.

"'They told me about a great fighter and a skillfull shape shifter that helped defeat the Volturri. Where is he? Where is that Gabriel?'" I don't answer her so she starts to walk out the door.

I mumble something but she doesn't hear me.

"'I'm lost.'" I say louder.

"'What?'" She says turning around.

"'I'm lost.'" I say while flinching from Her grasp.

-Gabriel


	35. MANNERS

MANNERS

March 19th, 2011

I try to ignore the hands reaching out from the darkness and Her words of temptation. My fangs are extended with anticipation and venom is filling my mouth with the thought of sucking the life from somebody. Its not that I'm starving, its not even that I'm even a bit hungry, its just that I wanna kill some people! I wanna sink my teeth into their neck, I want to feel their wasted struggle to survive, I want to taste the last of their life dripping warm and fast down my throat. My body is buzzing with the thought of a fresh kill, the screams of regret, my moans as I finnish their life.

I try to hide my fangs away but I'm too excited now. Instead I focus on what is downstairs. We have two new people that I don't know, then there's Jordan and Faine and Valentina and Katy, and another I don't know. I find myself opening the door and walking down the stairs. All of them are perched around the room talking. They stop and stare as I quietly drift towards the back and sit on the couch. I don't say anything so they resume their conversation. One of the new girls won't stop looking at me. She is scrutinizing my every move and my every feature. She glares at me and squints her eyes like she thinks I'm the devil.

I flash her a pointy smile and she flinches a little.

"'Gabriel, this is Hazel. Hazel, Gabriel.'" Valentina says catching our stare off.

Neither of us says anything. There is something not right about her, all the sudden, an absolutely repulsive smell hits me. Worse than dead fish, worse than rotting corpses, worse than garbage! Hazel laughs when she notices that I stopped breathing.

"'Hazel is an angel.'" Valentina says happily.

That's why I don't like her, its obvious now. I can practically see giant white wings and a gold halo above her head. She disgust me! If she hates me half as much as I hate her, then I really must be some form of evil or something. I learn that the nice couple sitting with Faine at the table is her brother, Adam, and his wife, Karen. Karen is a lovely girl with a nice smile and a firm grasp around Adam's waist.

None of these people will be any fun! Damn them all! I shift my attention to Lottie and Bastien. I don't even try to hide the fact that I'm observing them. I stare openly and intensely at her. She sees my gaze and nods, obviously telling me that she is as bored as I am. She tilts her head towards the door asking me if I want to go hang out away from these losers. I shake my head but stand up and walk out the front door. They all stare and mutter 'where is he going?' Before I left, I glared at Lottie telling her not to come. Let them all think what they want, let them think I've gone hunting. I climb back into my room, the sunlight bothered my eyes too much. I look at my reflection in the mirror. I guess I did look kind of scary. My hair was hanging over my eyes, my red eyes were rimmed in black tiredness. I pulled open my shirt and saw the jagged marks from Her running across my chest. Seeing my dishelved appearance and stare of death in the mirror, I did think I looked evil. Whatever. I don't care. I walk towards the bed but hear someone coming so I dart behind the door to the room. Jordan opens the door and walks into the room not realizing that I was still there. The first thing she looks at are the paintings. She gets frightened at Her picture. The one with the thorns and then gasps when she sees mine with the blood splattered everywhere. Then she starts going through my stuff! Really Jordan? She empties all the money onto my floor and sighs of frustration. Well, what does she think she's goona find? Does she really think I killed someone and kept their heart? Mmmm- don't answer that. Technically I was already dead when I did that.

She opens up the dresser drawer and finds what I hoped she wouldn't: my heart. She holds up the jar I put it in and looks at it.

"'Oh my god! What have you done?'" She says aloud.

Its like someone told her to run for her life because all of the sudden she is standing and running out of the room. I was too fast for her though, I moved to block the exit and she ran right into me. Jordan fell back and trembled at my brooding presence.

"'O-oh. I didn't know you w-were here.'" She stutters.

"'Of course you didn't.'" I spit out.

Jordan looked down to my chest and saw my scars. I quickly pull my shirt closed, "'Didn't anyone ever teach you any manners? Don't you know its rude to go through someone's personal property?'" I say with acid in my voice.

"'I didn't know you were here-'"

"'That isn't an excuse.'" I don't want her meddling in my affairs!

"'Gabriel, we just want to help.'"

Oh damn. Jordan and I go through a moment. What I mean is that my mental barrier slipped and she was just waiting to get into my mind. Her eyes go wide with terror and she starts shaking again. I compose myself and slam down my mental barrier.

"'Get out. Now.'" I growl.

You didn't have to ask her twice. Jordan is gone in a flash, probably off to cry in Josh's arms and gossip to her friends about the monster living upstairs.

I sit on the bed and think to myself. I knew what Jordan saw, but that doesn't mean that she did. To me it was Her nails slicing open my chest, it was blood splattering across my vision and Hell's torture leaving me with my loves skeleton. It was Her soulless eyes and blue blood oozing across my vision. To Jordan it was probably just a splash of color. Black backgrounds painted with buckets of blood, splashes of blue oozing down the side and glints of light reflecting from fangs and a flash of nails being dragged across your vision. I sat on the bed and wondered how Josh put up with her? I mean, she's so nosy!

Eventually, unavoidably, Faine enters my room and stands by the door.

"'We need to talk-'"

"'So talk.'" I say.

She looks into my eyes and shudders at what she sees: nothing.

"'We need to get the guys and Chelsea back.'"

I wait but she doesn't continue, "'What do you want me to do about it?'"

She looks at me like I'm crazy. "'Uh, help us! Help us get them back!'"

I put my hands behind my head and lay back on the bed, "'Why should I? They didn't mean anything to me.'"

"'How could you say that? They helped free you-'"

"'I was always free to do what I wanted-'"

"'You helped free us! We must've meant something to you if you helped us escape?'"

"'I have reasons for disliking most of you.'" She didn't say anything so I continued, "'Alec made me get rid of Jane. I liked her,'" Faine didn't like hearing his name when he wasn't around, "'Chelsea is too sarcastic, Afton is never around, Demetri tries to hard, I don't know Felix, Valentina I don't talk to, Josh is like a human except he sparkles, Jordan lays her heart out for all to see, and you are the instigator.'"

So many minutes of quite pass between us.

"'Are those bad things? Is it bad that Jordan trusts everyone? Is it bad that she thinks much better of everyone than they really are?'"

"'She could and will get hurt easier-'"

"'Is it bad that I wanted to help them? Look, they were all happier away from there! We are all happy and free-'"

"'But who isn't happy? Who's lives did you have to destroy to be happy?'" I roar, "'Jane is replaced. Not even dead, but replaced! Isn't it bad enough to be killed when there is still so much to do? But instead you brainwash her and put someone's mind in there? And what about Aro and Caius? You disrupted the entire chain of vampires. You changed our world by killing them.'"

She shook her head, "' It was for the best.'"

"'Who's best? Their's? Aro's and Caius's? Jane's? Or yours? Was it all just for you precious Alec?'" I have no idea where this is all coming from.

"'STOP! ENOUGH!'" I pushed her over the edge by bringing Alec into this.

"'I didn't come here to listen to my family be made fun of. I came here because we need you to get them back. We need you to help us fight this battle.'"

"'Your asking me to kill more people for your happiness.'" I stated flatly.

"'Gabriel! Please! After all we have been through!'"

I turn my back on her and wait for her to leave.

"' Why should you get your happily ever after with Alec when I've lost two? Why should you get your Alec and I shouldn't get my Catia and Johanna? Why did god make you special?'" I mutter sarcastically.

I sit on the floor and more dark thoughts bubble and brew inside of me. I let them rise until I'm back to the point of insanity.

Let the interventions begin! Valentina comes in and talks to me about how it feels to lose a loved one ,"'Its worse than dying! You feel your heart ripping in half-'"

No shit sherlock! I've lost my daughter, my love, my masters, my maker...who else can I possibly lose? Damn, Valentina, I know what it feels like! I glare at her and she leaves. Next up, Faine's brother. I don't know him, he doesn't know me.

"'So your depressed, huh?'" He says.

I look at him like 'are you serious?'

"'Alright. Great talking to you.'" Adam hurries out of the room.

I'm alone again! Thank god!

Jordan walks in and sits down next to me. Great! Just peachy! I slowly turn my head to the left and glare at her and give a growl. She just beams a smile and grabs my hand.

"'I know I was a little bit harsh earlier. I'm sorry.'" I pull my hand away. "'I just want you to know that I'm not here to bother you or try and convince you help us fight. I'm just here to talk with you!'" A happy smile. Too happy.

She fights for control of my hand again, "'So what's your favorite color? Mines pink!'" She shrieks happily.

I don't answer her and she doesn't care, she just keeps blabbing away.

By the end of 5 hours, my ears are bleeding (its a joke) and I want to kill myself. It amazes me that she hasn't once stopped talking for the entire 5 hours! How can she find that much to say? Most of it was stupid useless stuff about favorites and what not. I start banging my head against the wall but she hardly even notices.

"'-and once I had a puppy and we were going for a walk and-'"

"'Oh my god! Jordan, shut up!'" I interrupted her, "'Jordan, I don't care about your stupid animal!'" I got up to stand in front of the mirror. The red eyes and black shadows, the long messy hair. I looked tired and angry, I was. Who wouldn't be after talking to Jordan? I can't take seeing myself any more. I can't take eating any more, I- I can't take existing anymore.

I start towards the door.

"'Where are you going?'" Jordan shrieks.

"'To strike a bargain.'" I say.

"'Are you sure? Did you think it through?'"

"'Jordan, shut up.'" I am done with her, completely done.

I walk out of my room but remember that I forgot something, so I peep my head around the corner.

"'I understand that congratulations are in order.'" I say. Jordan looks confused so I hold up my left hand and point to the ring finger, "'Congratulations.'" I wink at her.

She smiles, thinking that she has gotten me back, as I walk out the door. How wrong she is.

I barge into Faine's room, she looks up a bit startled.

"'Alright, I'll help you get them back and destroy this new Volturri.'" She smiles, "'But, I have a condition.'"

"'Anything. What is it?'" Her eyes glittered at the thought of getting Alec back.

"'Kill me.'" Her draw drops, she wasn't expecting that.

I take a shaky breath, I just have to remember that this is what I want, "'After this is all over, I want you to kill me. Rip my head off, tear away my limbs, I don't care, be creative with it. But burn me. Make sure I can never come back.'" There is a pause as she thinks this over.

I hold out my hand to her, "'Do we have a deal? Your family in exchange for my death?'"

She thinks this over for a while, but finally, she takes my hand and shakes it.

I leave her and smile to myself as I wander down the hall. Again, I've gotten what I want and I'm about to kill another demon: Myself.

-Gabriel


	36. IN TIMES OF SADNESS AND TRIUMPH

IN TIMES OF SADNESS AND TRIUMPH...

March 22nd, 2011

I walk down the stairs with my lazy smile and see Lottie sitting on the couch with Bastien next to her. She looks bored out of her mind still listening to everyone argue and plan. I catch her eye and give my best 'come to me' look. I guess it looks kind of mysterious and inviting. I walk out the door and beckon her to follow. I dash to a tree a couple yards away and 2 seconds later, Lottie is standing in front of me with Bastien following close behind.

"'Mmm- I guess Bastien can come to.'" I say lazily.

"'Where are we going?'" Lottie says excitedly, nervously.

"'Tell me, Lottie,'" I say in my thick accent, "'have you ever seen the movie Sweeney Todd?'"

She shakes her head.

"'No? Well then, you're in for a delicious treat.'" I dart away from her and she follows.

The three of us end up in some random persons house, sprawled across their couch, watching Sweeney Todd. Oh, here it comes, my favorite part. The video montage of Sweeney slicing open throats. Ahaha! Yes! Its not murder, its an art. It takes courage and precision to open a throat like that. Then to see the gorgeous red blood flowing out, to see the failed attempts to survive. Its like a waterfall of red, majestic and captivating, where does it start and where does it end? Hahaha!

Sadly, the movie ends, and I have to talk to them.

I turn my head and Lottie is staring at me. I'm wondering if I was moaning at wanting the blood?

"'Well, that was just lovely, Gabriel,'" Bastien says sarcastically, "'but what will we be doing now?'"

I give a smirk. This boy doesn't like me, but why? Is it because of Lottie? Ooh, I'm goona have to play with this.

"'Are you hungry, Lottie?'" I ask ignoring Bastien.

She thinks about it for a second, "'yeah, I could eat. I think the forest has some pretty good deer-'"

"'No, no.'" I say putting my arm around her shoulders and leading her out of the house, "'If we go hunting, we hunt my way. Humans. Torture. Massacre.'" Her eyes light up at my suggestion, she doesn't want to be a vegetarian and neither do I.

'That's my killer.' She caresses my hair. I shiver and try to remind myself that She isn't really there.

I shake off the cold feeling and lace my fingers through Lottie's, pulling her toward town.

Lottie let's out a whimper, "'But- Faine would be angry if we hunted here.'"

I cup her cheek to get Bastien angry, "'We won't go right into this town then. We'll go a couple towns over if it makes you feel better.'" She nods and smiles.

We race. Bastien tries to outrun me but I'm much to fast for him. I let out a booming laugh as I push my legs harder. Lottie sits back a bit to watch our competition. This means Bastien and I make it first to town.

"'You can stop showing off for Lottie.'" He says.

Oh! He is jealous!

"'Who's showing off? This is me all the time,'" I bet his face would turn red if it could, "'Why? Are you jealous?'"

He doesn't answer, I laugh, "'You are jealous!'"

"'Just back off of her.'" He returns defensively, "'Or I'll make you.'"

"'Like the humans would say 'Bring it on!''" I growl and my body flexes in anticipation of a fight.

But Lottie comes along.

"'Jeez, you guys are fast.'"

I laugh, not at Lottie but at the whole situation. Its just getting dark, the perfect setting for our murders.

"'Let's split up. We'll meet in the main square in thirty minutes.'" Lottie nods in agreement and dances off happy to be getting real blood.

Bastien turns and walks away and I run into the alleys. While torturing peoples minds or just slashing throats, I feel Bastien's presence. I guess he doesn't trust me? But does he really think that I can't sense him so close?

I end up slashing 20 throats, not even drinking blood and draining 15 humans. Half the blood was just wasted but I don't care, I wanted to kill someone. I walk out of the shadows and into the middle of the square to stand with Lottie who is waiting under a streetlight. The way that the shadows fall on her face give her an eery quality, like mine. But it doesn't look scary on her, it looks beautiful and it defines the shape of her face more.

I touch her cheek and then kiss it. She wasn't expecting it. As soon as the kiss is over, Bastien comes strolling into the road with a girl with him.

"'Here, Lottie, I got her for you.'" He slings the half dead girl off his back.'"

"'Oh, Bastien-'" she moves towards the girl.

Ugh! I can't believe she hasn't smelled it yet! That girls a drug addict.

"'Lottie, no.'" She looks at me kind of angry so to make up for it, I pull a nice, clean 17 year old boy from the street.

"'Have this one.'" She accepts him from me and has fun charming the blood from his veins.

While drinking, she opens those big eyes of hers and looks at me. I, in turn, look at Bastien who seems to be jealousy in itself! Hah!

"'Ah! I'm so full.'" Lottie declares happily.

"'So am I. I suppose we best get back to the house?'"

Lottie falls into step next to me and races me home, I go easy on her and we tie. All the vampires appear to be occupied in their rooms so we sneak in to avoid being harassed.

Morning comes again and I find myself sitting at the table in the kitchen. A few others are in the living room. All the sudden, a shadow falls across the table and somebody slams a newspaper down.

"'What's this?'" I ask unfolding the paper.

"'This mornings headline.'" Jordan says angrily.

"'It reads more like an obituary.'" I say pleasantly while absorbing facts about my prey.

"'Gabriel! You can't just decide to go out there and kill 35 people-'"

"'Maybe you can't, but I can.'" I say challenging.

"'Gabriel! How could you think of doing this especially at a time like this?'" Blah blah blah yadda yadda etc etc, "'We don't live that way! We want to stay here and live peacefully. I already gave Lottie and Bastien the speech but I know that this is all your doing.'"

I growl at her.

"'Don't you growl at me! Listen, you're older than Lottie and that means you should know better than to do this. I think she looks up to you, so set a good example.'" She demands.

As if on cue, Lottie enters the room, I stand up, "'Well, I won't make her live a life she doesn't want to. I'm not going to force her to drink animal blood.'"

Out of the corner of my eye I see a small smile from Lottie. What is it? Appreciation? Is this the first time somebody has spoken on her behalf?

"'Why are you so difficult?'" Jordan says exasperated.

"'Bite me.'" I reply.

Jordan gets angry and storms off to go complain to Josh.

I sit back down and pick up the paper and resume reading. Oh, look, there is a sale on apples! Hah!

-Gabriel


	37. HAPPINESS IS A BITCH

HAPPINESS IS A BITCH...

March 25th, 2011

The Cullens are here. Jasper, Alice, Bella, Edward, Emmett, Rosalie, Esme and...and Carlisle. They got here 2 days ago but I've had too much fun messing with them to come write about them. Alice isn't as happy as I thought she was...she is MUCH happier. I didn't think it was possible for one person to hold so much happiness, until I met her.

It sickens me! Nobody has any reason to be that happy!

Anyway, she told me that I was going to die, do you know how awesome that was? I acted all careless but I'm glad that Faine will keep her promise and end my life.

So, Chelsea is back from the Volturri and it doesn't seem like she's brainwashed, so I guess that's good news?

Hah! Oh boy, did I freak out Edward or what!

We were all sitting in the living room, well, I was. And the others were outside. So in walks Edward. He sits in a chair across from me and we just stare intently at each other.

Finally he says, "Let me in."

I might just have a dirty mind, but doesn't it sound like he was referring to something sexual?

"Why should I?" I ask.

"Because I want to help you. And I can only do that if you open your mind up. Show me what scared you." He pleads.

"You don't want to be in my mind. There are things in there that would make you scream like a little girl and embarrass yourself in front of your wife." I pause, "My mind is not open for your delight. I keep you out to protect you. Trust me."

He doesn't trust me though, "In this life, you need friends, not enemies. And trust me," he says standing up, "you are earning yourself some enemies."

I don't like the way he is looking at me. Then it hits me.

"Do you think you're better than me? Huh, Mr. Edward Cullen?" I spit out his name.

He backs away from my rage and I just get angrier.

"Do you think you are the golden child since your maker actually loves you? Do you think you're better because you have a perfect family, a perfect wife and a perfect daughter?"

"Leave them out of this." He demands.

"Why should I? The world didn't leave my daughter alone!" I stand up to tower over him, "Never look down on me EVER again. You may be living a dream but at least I'm prepared for when reality hits and takes away everything I love." A short pause, "Speaking of love, how is your daughter?" I ask devious.

Edward gets a furious look in his eyes thinking that I would try to harm his wife or daughter. He lashes out at me and we get into a wrestling match on the floor. Bella comes running in so I let Edward tackle me to the floor.

"Edward! What are you doing?" She screeches.

"What? Bella! You don't seriously think I would attack the likes of him do you?"

That's it! Its go time! The way he said 'the likes of him'! Hell no!

I roar and shove Edward out the door. It breaks down and Edward and I are getting down and dirty in the dirt with the entire family as our audience.

I punch and strangle wherever I can and I'm pretty sure that I ended up kicking Josh or the blonde girl, Rosealie, once or twice. I'm laughing the entire time until Carlisle has Edward in his grasp and Faine, Jordan and Chelsea have me in theirs. Carlisle starts giving a lecture to Edward about knowing better and Jordan starts yelling her flap at me! I glare at her and mutter an 'I don't give a damn'. As I stalk off over the hill I hear Chelsea asking about what had happened to me. Like she really cares! Nobody cares about me. Hell, I don't even care about me!

I end up a while away sitting in a green field. I sit down and let my mind wander.

"Do you mind?" Carlisle asks.

"Huh?" I say since I wasn't expecting him.

"If I sit? Do you mind?"

"Oh" I say distracted, "no."

He sits next to me and watches me in silence.

"So, what were you thinking about?"

"What were you thinking about?" I snap back.

"I asked you first, son."

I ignore his calling me 'son'.

"I was wondering how I'm going to die."

"Ah, yes, Alice told me about her vision of Faine killing you. How does that make you feel?" He says wisely.

"Look, Dr. Cullen, I really don't need a head shrinker right now."

"I'm not a shrink. I'm just here to listen to what you want to say. Now, how does that make you feel?"

"I feel-" I search for the right words, "happy! I feel god damned happy that I'm going to die! For such a long time that's all I've ever wanted! I don't know why but- yeah."

"Hh-mmm. You don't feel happiness often."

"Is that a question?" I ask curiously.

"Just a statement."

"Your right. I don't. This is one of the only times I felt it while being a vampire." My head hangs in shame.

"Why are you ashamed of that? Only a few of us are lucky enough to feel that happiness and to have that reason to live forever. This life especially is a very lonely one, especially for someone like you."

"What's that supposed to mean?" I ask angrily. I swear, if Carlisle is insulting me than I must be worse than I thought.

"You are a loner. And, I predict, that if you were to find someone special, you wouldn't even know it," I think of Johanna, "you would keep going on and ignoring something that could be the reason to live."

"Or I could have killed her." I say solemnly looking into his eyes.

"Oh, so this is the cause of your troubles?"

"One of them. I killed her after she begged me to take her away. I helped kill Master Caius and Aro and destroy Jane. I loved Jane after I killed Johanna and joined the Volturri, she was my speed. Oh, and I feel great every time I kill a human."

"Not a vegetarian?" He asks.

"No and I never will be."

"Okay. Son, you can't beat yourself up about every death. Some things happened because they were supposed to. Maybe this Johanna wasn't supposed to be your reason to live."

I start pacing, "But your wrong! She was my everything! I didn't even know her but at the same time I did! She had my favorite blood type, she wasn't afraid of me , which actually scared me, she- I fight for her. I killed my maker to avenge my daughters death and the death of Johanna. I did all that, so I could right all the wrongs and die myself."

I wonder why I've said what I have, but then I look at Carlisle and I know that my secrets will be taken to the grave.

He stands up and starts walking away. Oh great! Even he doesn't have advice for me!

"Have you ever thought that maybe you aren't supposed to 'right all the wrongs'? Maybe you are supposed to live for a reason?" He shrugs and walks off.

Damn those mind doctors! They never tell you what to do! I ponder Carlisle's advice and what Johanna said to me in a dream 'I'm not ready to have you with me yet. Your not done there.'

Ggggrrrrr! I've had enough of thinking so I walk back over the hills with the best intentions of being nicer. As soon as I see them all on the front lawn, my hate of them comes rushing back.

"Oh, Gabriel! You're just in time." Jasper says waving me over.

"What for?" I grumble.

"Well, training! Since you phsyched out your opponents last time, well, I think it would be great if we did some physical training."

"Are you saying that you don't think I have the physical attack ability?"

Jasper starts babbling apologies and Emmett starts laughing at him.

"What Jasper means is that the new Volturri have children vampires." Carlisle says.

"Okay, first of all: I'm killing those three. Any objections? No. Good. Second: I've fought things MUCH worse than children vampires." My maker, Her minion, etc.

Jasper starts showing us some moves and I kind of zone out. Soon, the sun disappears behind the horizon, and so do I.

Its about a minute before Carlisle realizes that I've gone.

"Hey! Where did Gabriel go?" Emmett asks.

They all look around for me and huddle close together.

I laugh and throw the shadows off me. Really? How can they fight these people if they are afraid of the dark? And of me?

my laughter roars outward and they finally spot me crouched on the top branch of a bare tree.

"This training is fine and all, but its not cutting it. No offense Jasper." I pause and he looks mad. Use the emotion control, Jasper! I wanna shout.

"So, what about the things that lurk in the dark?"

"My battle techniques work for anything." Jasper states.

I think of Her and of the bird/snake like creature.

"To a certain point, yes. But there are worse things in the dark besides vampires and shape shifting wolves. I've seen them. Learn to use your strengths and the strengths of others in the dark."

And then I am gone again, with the shadows wrapped around my body. I leap off the tree and run through the dense forest. They are all after me, dodging trees and vines. I decide I must play a game, a very fun game! I hide behind a tree and wait for half the group to go by. I change myself into Jasper's worst fear: a girl named Maria. I leap out from behind the tree and grab his hand as I run past. He is shocked and tries to get me to stop.

"-but I saw you die! The Volturri took care of you!"

I drop his hand and race off. I leap into a tree and he continues running off after Maria. I change into this Claire woman and seek out Faine.

"Are you looking for me?" I whisper behind Faine. She whips around and both of us snarl at each other. Hhmm, Claire has a lot of hate towards Faine. Oh, wait. That's my own hate.

I shove Faine's shoulder as I run past her and it doesn't take long for me to shake her.

Next up, Edward.

A certain little fiery red head should bring back fond memories for him.

"Cullen." The name comes as a snarl from her lips. A sick twisted snarl. If she were alive, she would be mine! We would have quite the fun.

"V-v-v-" he stammers.

"Victoria!" I shout, "I'm back, Edward. Tell me, how is Bella?" And then I am off again with Edward chasing me into the trees. He is keeping up much better than the others. Ah! I forgot, he's the fastest runner.

"But I'm smarter." Victoria says.

I leap up into the night sky and change into a crow in mid-leap. Edward doesn't know where Victoria went, but he has to keep his precious Bella safe, off to the ends of the Earth he goes. I fly back towards the house and watch the others looking for me below. I change into myself and land on the ground laughing.

"That wasn't very nice." Carlisle says.

"The world isn't nice. Why aren't you out there looking for me?"

"Because I think I know you a little bit better than they do."

"Nobody knows me." I counter.

I casually lean up against the porch while Carlisle calls everybody.

"Son, it was a joke. You can come back now." I stifle a laugh. And then everybody else can come back as well. They all stand annoyed in front of me, but I can see the hint of fun in their eyes.

"I thought it would prepare you. You can't be taken off guard, you don't think; you just kill."

Jordan was the first to be done with me. She approaches me.

"Can you move?" She yells.

"Why don't you just go around me?" Well, two can play that game! I've had it with her as well.

She moves left, I move left. She moves right, I move right.

"Oh my god! You giant pain in the ass!" She shoves my shoulder hard and she walks past. I chuckle as everyone else follows her. The last to pass me is Carlisle. He looks at me and shakes his head. Oh well. You can't be friends with them all.

-Gabriel


	38. WHAT A PERFORMANCE

WHAT A PERFORMANCE...

March 27th, 2011

Well, that went decently well. Claire and her army are dead, the husbands are alive and the Cullens are gone. I would say that I had a pretty good day. The worst part of it all: destroying Jane. And a close runner up would be saying goodbye to Carlisle.

Here is the entire story:

Jasper and the entire group are standing around the kitchen table planning everything out. I'm casually leaning against the wall when Carlisle stands next to me. He probably thinks of me as some sort of patient or something. I'm not really paying attention to what is said until I hear them say Jane's name.

"Wait, what?" I ask.

"We are going to disguise ourselves as tourists with the help of Hazel and Heidi," I don't remember who she is, "will bring us in as food. You will have gone a separate way and changed into Jane, you will find the group and lead all the humans out to safety-"

"Why?" I question.

"It doesn't matter. How about so they don't die?" Edward says. He doesn't like me.

I nod.

"Then you will come in and help us kill everyone."

I shrug and Jasper looks at me waiting for an answer. Will I do it? Or not?

I have to grapple with this idea. Being a vampire, I remember too clearly standing in my room in Volterra and making a promise to myself that I would never take Jane's form ever. I promised myself that I would honor her that way, that she is as equal to me and her secrets are what makes her wonderful. I don't want to break a promise to the devil, but then again, I'm already going to Hell. So I say I'll do it. My mind then starts playing tricks on me. Jasper isn't just standing at the table in casual dress. He is Braveheart delivering a speech to his army, he is a commander general in the army. I laugh at the site of Jasper with guns on his belt and that black stuff under his eyes, and dog tags hanging from his neck. They look at me like I'm crazy so I decide to show them what I was laughing at. I open my mind for a second to Faine. The others can see it from her since I don't like them. And she laughs as well. I leave the house to go "shopping" well, stealing from somebody's wardrobe. I grab some army green pants and black combat boots, I skip the weird looking tank top and go for the green t-shirt. I find a black bandanna and tie it around my forehead. Lastly, is the black stuff under the eyes.

"Thanks," I say to the guy I left tied up in the corner of the room.

I barge into the kitchen, "Alright men, if you die today, then know that you died fighting for what is rightfully ours! No retreat. This is the final stand." We all laugh at my joke nervously. It was a joke, but there was so much truth behind it.

"Why?" Jasper asks as I stand next to him. Referring to my outfit.

"Why not?" I reply.

"Fair enough," he says, "Alright, let's go."

We all run out of the house, with all of us except me smelling human. Hazel and this other guy that I don't know also come with us. Apparently, he is also an angel (oh great!) And he is also the voice that Valentina hears in her head. What a freak! I can't believe she named it. And why is it here? We reach the tip of Ireland and are then running across the ocean. As soon as I feel solid ground beneath me, I push my body harder to get there quicker. We are in the main square when I leave them to become bait. Hiding into the shadows, I adopt Jane's figure and her manner. I shrink, one thing that bothers me most about being her is that I'm like a midget now! I circle behind the castle and into a secret entrance only Jane knows about. In a few minutes, I am out of the long corridor and walking into the hall of paintings.

"-and these are the Masters of the castle. Oh! Good afternoon, Jane."

"Heidi." I acknowledge her in that clear and dominant voice of Jane's, "I need half of the group. I have something delicious in store for them."

Heidi wicked grins with me and I take all the real humans of the group away. I led them to the left and hide them in the west wing.

I take 3 at a time to get them out, and I realize that I'm hungry. So I save the last 4 for myself. The first was an old man, the second was a 13 year old girl, the third was some 20 year old punk that was "dragged here by his parents", the last was a 5 year old girl. I only knew why I wanted her after I had tasted her. She was sick, and if she did live, she wouldn't be the same 5 year old girl she was that day. She would have changed, she would have been as alone and angry as me.

Well, that was yummy. Onto phase two of the plan! I find Tristin in his room and Jane's thoughts of wanting to kill him but gauging out his "pretty green eyes and putting them on a stick" come flooding to me.

"Oh, Jane, darling. I thought the castle was being over taken?"

I let Jane's features melt off my body.

"Tristin."

"Gabriel." He says back just as nasty.

So this is what it comes down to. Boyfriend versus boyfriend for Jane's love. Only now, we're fighting for teams.

"You can show someone their worst fear can't you? Show me mine."

He touches my arm and images of me walking the Earth until the end of time sends a shudder through my body.

"You are afraid to live forever. You are afraid to love and to be loved." Tristin says.

"True. But, you know, you on the other hand are so predictable," I walk the room and snuff out all the candles, "I don't need a special power to be able to tell your worst fear." The entire room is plunged into darkness as I circle around him, "You are afraid that you can't change Jane. You are afraid that 'the beauty hidden by the monster' can't come out," I know his thoughts, "But besides that, you are afraid that you can never escape her to be with your Amelia again."

"Speaking of Amelia, here, this is for you." He punches me in the jaw.

I wrap my hand around his throat and I squeeze, "I don't take kindly to messages."

I drop him.

"You are crazy Tristin, you are defeated. Listen to my words, you know I speak the truth." He nods and kneels on the ground.

"I hope you enjoy seeing your Amelia," I raise my hand, "and your Jane." I snap his neck off as his head rolls across the floor. I burn the body, put out the fire and then leave his room. I put on my Jane disguise again and walk down the hall. In the picture room before the throne room, I see the real Jane locking all the doors. Nice going Jane. She doesn't know that she is trapping herself inside.

I walk up to her and she jumps seeing herself.

"What the-?" She doesn't have time to respond.

I press my lips to hers. Jane kissing Jane. I open my eyes and she has hers open. Who kisses with their eyes open? I let my Jane facade slip away so it is the real me kissing her and her eyes go wide. Then I put my Jane costume back on again. She ends our kiss and runs to go get the husbands.

I open the door to the throne room and slip inside.

Bastien is taking powers away.

"Those three," I point to the kids, "Leave their powers."

I open a side door, "Run." I say. The kids dart out and I chase after them.

I have them in the basement now. No way out except the way we came in. Three kids versus an 621 year old vampire. A piece of cake! You would think I was a dead man (haha! Not funny) since I didn't have any idea what powers I was up against. Well, obviously, I ended up fine. So first up was finding the prey that had vanished. I grabbed some gun powder since the basement was partly used as weapon storage and threw it into the air. At last, I got what I was looking for, the powder settled around a figure.

"So we have an invisible girl, do we?". She doesn't realize that gun powder is resting on her shoulders. I sigh, and strike a match, I throw it at her and she bursts into flames, flailing her arms and running around the room like a chicken without a head.

"Come out, come out wherever you are." I say in a deep voice.

A little girl comes running over to her sister, sad to see that she is dead and can't be helped.

I whistle, "You. The stars are aligned, today, you have the same fate as your sister." I say mimicking an fortune teller.

I move to attack her.

"Freeze." I do as she commands. "An mind controller? Awesome."

"Shut up." She snaps, I obey, "now, run in place." That stupid, stupid little girl! She's going to burn!

"Ahaha! This is so much fun!" She dances around and giggles.

I really, REALLY want to kill her. And I will enjoy it!

"Alright, alright. At ease soldier," she laughs again.

I take this chance to kill her. Before she can tell me to stop, I have Changed and taken her form.

I issue the command, "Die." To my delight she jumps into the fire that was her sister and screams as she burns. Muahahaha!

"Two down, one to go. Come out, come out and I promise I won't hurt you." I lie.

I hear a whisteling sound, I move slightly to the left and hear the sound of a knife being embedded into the wall.

I laugh and pull the knife out. The boy is clever, he can hide before I find him. Well, let's take this someplace else then. I go towards the back of the basement. There, I see many mirrors, like when you go to a tailor and they put you on a platform to fit your clothes. I rearrange the mirrors into a maze and enter. The whole time I am thinking that Aro must really have liked looking at himself.

Then there is my opportunity, I see the boy. We make eye contact for a second and I know what his power is. I quickly look away, he can turn you to stone. So I close my eyes and use my other sense to get me through this maze. I duck behind some mirrors, but the boy has realized that I'm running from him. He smashes through the mirrors and finds me against the wall, looking as relaxed as usual.

"What are you happy about?" He asks.

"This." I grab a shard of mirror and hold it in front of his face.

When I bring the piece away, the little vampire boy is nothing but stone.

I laugh maniacaly as I take the knife and stab it where his heart is. Blood starts pouring out around the wound as I strike another match.

"Its time to heat things up a bit." His body bursts into flames as he joins his sisters in Hell.

I leave the basement to find all the wives hugging and kissing their husbands. Angrily, I stomp to Aro's throne and flop onto it. Hhmm, comfy! I swing my legs over the handles and lay their, relaxing.

"Your highness, the terror and scourge of the world, King of the living." Carlisle bows in front of me.

"You must be mistaking me for someone else, friend. I am King of the Dead. I sit on a throne of skulls, and am personally advised by the devil, instead of fine wine I drink the blood of the innocent. I am the King of the Dead."

"Maybe. But you are still a King. Or, you could be." He pauses. "I came to say goodbye to my successful patient. My family is leaving from here."

"You weren't successful, doctor. I am still going to die. I promise you that."

"Here." He drops something into my hand. I look at it and laugh.

A dog tag. Just like the ones I pictured Jasper wearing. It says my name and place of birth. Then it says LOYALTIES: CULLEN AND KERRY.

I smile and slip it around my neck.

"You are part of a family. Whether you believe it or not." Carlisle says with his hand on my shoulder.

"I can't take it. I'm going to die."

"Well, nobody should die alone."

I follow him to the double doors.

Faine looks at me.

I shake my head, "Not yet. Surprise me with my death." The boys put out the last fire and then we all go home. The end.

-Gabriel


	39. WELL, THAT'S UNEXPECTED

WELL, THATS UNEXPECTED...

April 3rd, 2011

Alright, so its been pretty gross around her for the past week and a half. The wives have been "savoring every moment" with their husbands. That means intimate activities and a lot of alone time for me. The good news is: Jordan left! Yes!

The bad news is: she's back. She went to Washington to get Alice and Bella so she could get a baby. I don't know why she wants one and I agree with Valentina that some people in this house don't like the idea of a human baby around.

Faine hasn't talked to me, much less looked at me, so I guess she is planning my death to happen soon. Sounds wonderful. Blissful silence and peace, no Jordan, no more thoughts or regrets. Regrets. Only two. That I couldn't save my daughter and that I killed a human as wonderful as Johanna. Its alright, I'll take care of that soon enough. I'll rot forever in Hell for what I've done. I would gladly taken an eternity of torture and heat if it would make Catia and Johanna happy.

I got angry and decided that since I was going to die soon, I should at least spare these people the horror of having to look at my heart. I grab the disgusting, useless thing and slash open my chest. I'll spare you the gory details of how I got it to stay there. The point is that the god forsaken thing is back in my chest. It feels all tight and stuffy there now. Yuck!

Josh comes in, "I smelled blood."

"It was my own. Don't worry," I say annoyed.

I grab some cash that I won't use and shove my way past him.

"Where are you going?" He asks following me.

"None of your business." I slam the door in his face and take off running. A couple hours later, after much running and much hitch hiking, I find myself walking on the beaches of Spain. I steal a hat from some punk kid and shove him into the sand. Hands in my pockets, I walk in the surf and observe.

See the people laugh and joke.

See them cry and weep.

See them sleep and dream.

Or see them thrash and kill.

Completely oblivious they are, to anything but their desires.

Living a life of make believe, dreaming dreams of truth. They don't know that up is up or down is down. They don't know what walks with them, what murders their children, grandchildren, mothers, fathers, sisters and brothers.

All the women lying on beach towels and men playing catch, boys in their shorts and women in their bikinis. The sun beats down hard and the waves crash and break against the shore. For every break of a wave, a life is taken. Most of them by me. Do you think the devil should hire me to kill for him? That should be my chosen profession: assassin hired by the devil. I think I would do well.

I continue just wondering and watching people, after all, time has no value to me.

Soon, I see a boardwalk in front of me. People walking on it, laughing, chatting. And-

-no! It isn't possible! She is-! She can't be-! But I killed her! Her long blonde hair flows down her back and over her bare shoulders. Her strapless white cotton dress flutters in the wind as she turns. Her eyes meet mine and she smiles, at recognizing me. I am being pulled in. That smile. Those eyes. I take my hat off, smile, and bow. I am about to run to her when I see some guy come up to her. He kisses her cheek and she laughs. Before I know what is happening, I am running back in the opposite direction. Back to Ireland.

I stop running and walk through the woods. Oh my god! How can she be alive? I never- never imagined that this would happen. That this could happen. I have to tell them, they have to know! I think.

I wasn't prepared for what happened next. Somebody dropped on top of me and wrapped their hands around my neck. I ram the person into a tree and flip him off my back. Oh! Its Faine!

"Faine! Stop!" She lunges at my throat again.

Why does she choose now to kill me?

I try to run but she grabs onto my arm and wraps her legs around me.

"Faine! No!"

She grabs my head and is about to twist.

"Faine! She's alive!" She freezes and that's all it takes for me to throw her off. She stands in front of me, hands still ready to end my life.

"Gabriel, who is alive?"

"She is! Its her! Faine, I thought I killed her!"

"Wait. Tell me, Gabriel. Who is alive?" She asks.

I pause.

"Johanna."

-Gabriel


	40. HOPE

HOPE...

April 3rd, 2011

"That...isn't...possible" Faine says carefully.

"But it is!" I say excitedly, "Somehow it is! See," I grab her hands, "you must see."

I open my mind and let her in.

Together, we watch the sun shining behind her as she turns her head. A smile on her lips, surprise in her eyes, her shoulders set back and her golden hair cascading down her back.

I gently close my mind again.

"Wow. I don't understand how-" that silly negative girl!

I pull her into a dance, "Oh, Faine! Does it really matter how? All that matters is that she's alive!" I laugh, "she's alive!"

I run happily through the forest and stand with my face to the sun, soaking it in.

"Have you ever felt anything so wonderful?" I ask falling backward.

I lay in the grass stroking the gentle blades, feeling the sun on my face and feeling- well, feeling alive! I feel like I could walk with the humans! Stand in daylight like the others. I could have friends and play sports and go to school! I close my eyes and imagine it all.

Walking from class to class, waving to friends and there she is. Johanna will be waiting at the corner for me. A smile on her face and her heart on her sleeve as I grab her hand and we walk down the hall together. I could court her for a while, and then, hopefully, she would love me enough to be with me forever. Biting into her neck, but this time, I would release a part of me and that part would change her life forever. In the early evening, just after the sun has gone down, her eyelids will flutter open and expose her red newborn eyes. She would see new colors and run with me. Experience new things, climb new heights, see new sights. We could discover Atlantis together and take a romantic underwater tour of the S.S. Titanic. As soon as she has had her first kill I would take her to the rainforest. We could taste new and exotic things together, climb those tall trees and finally reach the top, just to peer out over miles and miles of endless green leaves. What a life! A life I could endure living, and all because I knew that she had lived.

My beautiful thoughts and fantasies are shattered by a shadow falling over my face.

"Faine, darling, you are blocking the life."

"Gabriel? Don't you mean 'light'?"

"Nope." I jump up, "see that. That floating ball of fire in the sky. It creates everything. Without it, humans couldn't exist. We would be plunged into a world of darkness. A world where nothing good exists. Dark pleasures lead to sin and dark temptation. What have we to look forward to when all that is light is just dark?"

She stares at me in shock.

"Are you okay? I think you should-"

"-Tell everyone! Oh yes! They would want to know!"

She stammers after me but I am rushing into the house.

They are all relaxing in the living room. Hhmmm, living room. Funny word. But since we're the UN-dead, shouldn't it be the UN-living room? Haha!

"Okay, okay. I have an announcement, everyone." I say.

"Shouldn't you be dead now?" Bastien asks.

Lottie nudges him in the ribs.

"No, no. I am here to stay. And all because," I take a dramatic pause and everyone leans forward in anticipation, "my Johanna is alive!"

I smile in disbelief and wait for reactions. No one moves.

I look from face to face, waiting for someone to say something.

"So?" Bastien says rudely.

Oh! He has a problem with me. I wonder what it is?

"Bastien!" Lottie shrieks

"Gabriel, I know you want to believe this, that Johanna is alive but-" jordan says.

I run over to her and kneel in front of her.

"No. Oh no, Jordan. Just look." I let her inside of my mind.

She gasps at the memory I show her. At the way I saw her and how perfect she seemed. Again, the sun setting behind her as she turns her head. A dazzling smile and eyes filled of wonder.

"She's everything to you." Jordan says at last.

I nod as I gently close my mind again.

Jordan looks at Faine so I guess they are doing a little mind talking. Faine ends up nodding and Jordan smiles.

"Lottie, we need to talk." I say. She gets up and follows me to the corner. She pulls up her barrier so no one can hear us.

"I'm sorry. Its over."

She looks bewildered, "Um, what is?"

"Us. Our relationship is over."

"We were dating?" I can't read her expression this time.

"Ssshhhh. Don't talk," I place my finger over her lips, "Now, you are an extremely lovely girl. So pretty, and devious, everything a guy could want. But I'm afraid we wouldn't work out like that," her mouth is hanging open, "we will still be great friends though, mostly because you are the only one here that I can stand. I'll always be sure that these people won't feed you that crap animal blood, don't worry." I say nicely.

Her barrier fades as I kiss her cheek and walk out of the living room and up into my room.

So here I am now. Writing about Johanna and waiting. She's coming for me. I know she is! I feel every breath she takes and hear her every whisper.

'She's not coming for you. Why would she?' She says leaning against the wall.

"I know she is. We have a bond. You know that she isn't afraid of me."

'That was before you killed her! I'm not coming to you with kisses and open arms when I come back.'

"That's okay, she will forgive me. And, you're not coming back. You can't. I made sure of it."

She rolls her eyes and fades away.

"I'm waiting, Johanna. I'm here."

Wait, I hear something.

Oh my God! Its Johanna! She's here! I knew she wouldn't waste any time finding me! I must go see her and hold her again for the first time.

-Gabriel


	41. A JOKE

A JOKE...

April 10th, 2011

This is torture! This is madness and insanity! Madness. Am I really going mad? I seem to be getting crazier and crazier each time, don't you think? You don't understand what happened, do you? My Johanna was here, everything should be fine, right?

Well, its not. She isn't here. At least, not yet.

A hallucination is a funny thing. It shows you what you most want in the most pleasurable way. It is real and within reach, within experiencing and grasping! And then...it is gone. Like a bird in flight, like a tear worth crying or a dream that's dying...

Either way, that hallucination is gone and no matter how hard you try, you cannot get the same one back. The first time, become a father of a beautiful baby girl! The second time, the father of a wonderful little boy. The third time, that baby girl will have a different appearance in some way. Same with the boy, and on and on. No two dreams are the same, they can't be. Hence the reason they are made.

Well written by William Shakespeare is what I try to say:

"ROMEO-

Peace, peace, Mercutio, peace!

Thou talk'st of nothing.

MERCUTIO-

True, I talk of dreams,

Which are the children of an idle brain,

Begot of nothing but vain fantasy,

Which is as thin of substance as the air

And more inconstant than the wind, who woos

Even now the frozen bosom of the north,

And, being angered, puffs away from thence,

Turning his face to the dew-dropping south."

-Act 1, Scene 4, Romeo and Juliet by William Shakespeare

An explanation of dreams being used to pass time, and that these dreams cannot be controlled. See them head North? But all to change and travel Southward instead? If our dreams are uncontrollable, then wouldn't it also be said:

"ROMEO-

And we mean well in going to this mask,

But 'tis no wit to go.

MERCUTIO-

Why, may one ask?

ROMEO-

I dreamt a dream tonight.

MERCUTIO-

And so did I.

ROMEO-

Well, what was yours?

MERCUTIO-

That dreamers often lie.

ROMEO-

In bed asleep while they do dream things true."

-Act 1, Scene 4

That dreams serve as a warning? As much as they are wild, are they not also helpful? Not all dreams hold the value of truth in them, but they hold what one craves: an escape.

Think not much of your dreams, but do beware; keep those thoughts in the back of your mind as you dance on air.

A dream is a warning, strong and true; a dream is a dream through and through.

As wild and untamed as the sea; but as reassuring and calm as the done deed.

So, was I in the wrong to believe, that my Johanna was still coming for me? As I dreamt her over and over and never lost faith?

I last told you of seeing her standing outside, of hearing her call my name. I left the window for a second, the time it takes to get from my room to the front door, to bring her inside. But when I opened the door, she was gone. Like she never was there, like she vanished on thin air.

I thought that was strange but believe me; things will get stranger. I turn to go inside but out of the corner of my eye, I catch a glimpse of gold. Her hair running into the woods. I follow after her, my heart beating faster in anticipation (figuratively). She leads me into a clearing but once I am standing there, she is gone.

I hear her laughter so I look up, she is sitting in the tree tops waving to me. There isn't one place that I wouldn't go for her; up into the trees I went. And just as I got up there, she disappeared.

"Very odd indeed." I jump down and run back to the house.

"What was that all about?" Alec asks me.

I wasn't going to say anything but then I see her looking through the window, "Johanna!" I run outside and they all follow me.

She has disappeared again.

"Well, where is she?" Someone asks.

I shrug but then she is standing next to me.

"Johanna, you had me worried!" I said to her, "Please, meet my family." She waves but everybody isn't looking at her; they are looking at me!

"That's awfully rude not to say 'hello' to my beloved."

"Gabriel, she isn't there." Lottie says taking my hand.

"Of course she is!" Johanna grabs my hand and pulls me up the hill away from everyone.

"Are you hungry?" She asks me.

"Very." I look towards town.

"No," she shakes her head.

I look to the tree tops.

"No," she shakes her head again.

"Well if I can't eat my food and I can't even eat this crap, then what do I eat?"

She puts her finger to her lips and pulls me to the edge of the forest.

"See what I see with your eyes." She disappears again.

So I was left staring at a leaf. I've never noticed a color that green before! And I never knew that leaves had their own 'life cycle'. They breathe and eat, I could see their pores sweating and the color dancing around inside of it. That leaf kept me captivated for a whole day! When I turned around to go home, the first thing I noticed was Alec and Lottie staring at me with a worried look on their face. I smiled and waved at them, I am okay!

I walk inside and sit casually at the table, picking up the newspaper and reading the obituary. I begin to whistle a happy little song.

"Why are you whistling? Why are you happy?" Bastien says in a snide remark.

"What do you want from me? Are you mad because I kissed Lottie? Is that it? Well, I'm sorry! I'm sorry that for one minute, I was wanted more than you!" I settle my eyes back on the paper.

"You know that isn't it." He growls.

"It isn't? Then enlighten me, oh wise one-" I stop short.

Johanna is watching me from outside the window.

She looks so sad and so worried as tears drip down her cheeks.

"Johanna," I am out of my chair and out the door in a second.

She is walking up the hill as I rush over to her.

"What's wrong? What's wrong?" I ask holding her face and wiping away her tears.

"I can't do it. I can't live like that." She is shaking her head.

I pull her into a hug and smooth her hair. She is sobbing as I close my arms around her. I will keep her safe from anything and everything.

"Gabriel?" Alec asks. They are all looking at me again! Why do they think I'm crazy?

"I'm just hugging-" I look down and she is gone, "-Johanna."

"I think you've gone insane." Bastien says.

"Really? I think I'm damn sane! Only an insane person what put up with you!" That's all it takes.

He leaps at me and we are fighting.

Punch, punch, kick, kick, bite, etc.

I am about to tear out one of his arms when I've gone blind.

"Oh damn, Alec! We could've gotten it to go back on! It just would've made me feel better to actually do it!" My limbs are numb now as someone pulls me inside.

"I want my sight back." I scream, "come on! I won't kill Bastien. I promise!" I get my sight back and to my surprise, control over my limbs.

The first thing I see is Lottie standing in the corner looking angry with the both of us.

"Oh, you know you enjoy this. Two men fighting because of you? What girl wouldn't like it." I say to her.

Bastien leaps at me again but falls on his face because Alec deadened his senses. I laugh hysterically until Jordan punches me in the arm.

"What is this? 'Pick on Gabriel Day'?" I ask.

Faine gives me a slight punch too, but I hardly feel it. She can't really do any harm to anyone, poor thing.

Damn my hallucinations, I see Johanna outside again. I go after her but Alec deadens my senses again.

"I can't have you getting your hopes up and all of our hopes up. You are hurting yourself by doing this. Enough." Alec says.

I bet Faine just loves that! 'Oh! Alec is so manly! He took charge! I just want to kiss him! We'll go off to our special place where no one can disturb us and we'll forget about crazy Gabriel!' Grrrrrrr! Alec is getting a couple punches when I can feel my arms!

The wind picks up as rain starts pouring down outside. I watch the droplets hurl themselves at the window and I can sense that the temperature is getting colder and colder outside. Brutal weather.

I keep seeing Johanna. But I'm starting to think that maybe Alec is right, maybe I am just imagining her.

I tell Alec this and he let's me have control over my body again. I suggest we play poker, all the guys take over the kitchen table as I deal out the cards. The girls get stuck watching or relaxing in the living room.

Half way into explaining the game, I hear something.

"Help!" It says.

"Did you guys hear that?" I ask.

They shake their heads.

"Please!"

I am out of my chair and heading out the door when Alec steps in front of me.

"I told you that we've all had enough," he says, "It always turns out the same way: she is never real! Just go back inside and let's play poker."

I think about listening to him but then, I feel my heart beat. It actually moves! Or it feels like it is. And I hear that voice again, "Don't let me die alone!"

I try to run out the door but Alec catches me, "Sit." He commands.

"Alec, if you don't let me out, I will kill you."

"She's never there!"

"Well, what if she is this time? Her death will be on your head if you don't let me go to her!"

Alec is about to reply but Faine interjects, "Just let him go. The worse thing that will happen is Johanna isn't there and he will come back." I dart out the door.

I push my body to move faster as I jump over roots and dodge branches in the forest. How fast I get there could decide whether she is alive or not. And I will not let her die again!

In a couple seconds, I hear the guys follow after me. Then they can all watch that for once, I am right! We stop in a small clearing deep into the forest, the rain has us soaked. We all listen, but hear nothing.

"Gabriel-"

"No. Shh. Listen."

"Come...Josephine...in my flying...machine...and its...up...she goes...up she goes."

I look at them but they are shaking their heads.

"You have to hear it. You have to!" I say pushing my wet hair off my forehead.

We listen again, "Come Josephine...in my...flying...Come Josephine in my flying machine. Going up she goes...up she goes. Like a bird on a beam..in the air she goes. There she goes."

They look to me in surprise. They hear her! And I'm not crazy! But more importantly is that she is real this time!

We run North, with me ahead.

Her voice leads me on. And at last I see her body. Half out of a river. I run to her and her now blue lips keep mumbling the words, "Up...up...a little bit higher...oh...my moon is...on fire. All...on...goodbye."

"No, Johanna. No. Not goodbye." I say.

I slip my arms under her small body and pull her close to me. As if my own life were at stake, I run. Back to the house with the guys running with me. I projected thoughts as loudly and quick as possible. Hoping that Jordan or Faine would hear me. We come running into the room. The guys start a fire and I get blankets. Coming back, Faine is taking off her soaked dress. The same white one that she wore in Spain. I move her right next to the fireplace and wrap her in blankets. She is shivering fast and mumbling a whole bunch of things. I try to get up but she puts her arms around my neck.

"Oh, my angel." She says.

I grab her hand and smooth her hair.

She won't let me up but I can't stay here. The coldness of my skin could be part of her death. So I do the only thing I could think of: I shape shift.

Bastien might be right, I might be insane. Since I end up shifting into the Cullen's pet dog, Jacob Black.

I see all of them take about 5 giant steps backward as they immediately stop breathing.

I lay my body on top of Johanna's and cradle her head.

"Please. I have to." I say to them with a look of pleading in my eyes.

Some walk away quietly, others walk away angrily. I guess I understand their pain since they don't exactly smell wonderful to me right now.

But all that matters is her. Johanna. The amazing girl underneath me that I would die for.

-Gabriel


	42. WAKE UP

WAKE UP

April 12th, 2011

Johanna has been unconscious for 2 days now. I want to do something but Faine tells me not to disturb her. Honestly, I really wouldn't want to. She looks so beautiful and peaceful just resting there. Her golden hair sprawled all over the pillow and her hands folded over her heart. The most captivating thing to watch is her chest moving up and down, her breathing. But still, I am worried. The rose has gone from her cheeks and she has not yet waken up, and also her skin is still cold to the touch. I mean, she isn't at "dead temperature" but she is colder than normal for humans. I've done everything to make her warmer, more blankets and even laying with her as the oven known as Jacob Black! If we smell half as bad as Jacob thinks, then we got to figure out a way to change our scents! A werewolf could just sniff us out and hunt us! Also, just look for the occupied house with people that never leave during the day. Hah!

Oh boy, I bet Johanna will wake up any second and she will be hungry! I guess I should find something for her. I walk downstairs and into the kitchen.

Good, no one is watching.

Mmm- a beverage would be nice. Much to my surprise, I find orange juice, hot chocolate, milk and coffee. I asked myself why those items would be in a house of vampires but I realized that any reason is possible.

I also find eggs, bread, and some other stuff. Now. If only I remembered how to make this stuff. Well, how hard could it be?

I grab a bowl and some more ingredients.

Let me tell you, it is not as easy as it looks! I wanted to kill several people!

Just as I am about to rip the oven from the wall, Faine and Jordan come walking in.

"Gabriel!" Jordan shrieks but then she sees my appearance. I have flour caught in my hair and egg yolk on my shirt.

The two girls laugh and ask what I am doing.

"I thought Johanna might be thirsty and hungry when she woke up. I tried to make food." I said sheepishly.

"Well, what about you? Are you hungry and thirsty?" Faine asks.

I shake the flour out of my hair and nod.

"Go ahead. I'll watch her while you feed." Faine runs upstairs to take her position.

"Alert me when she wakes up. Right away."

Jordan nods at my instructions.

Ah! To feel the wind in my hair and to see the colors blur past me! It was nice feeling like a predator again, instead of a chef. Well, I know what never to do now: cooking!

I find a lost person and as I'm about to deliver the kiss of death, I hear Jordan calling to me. I drain the man quickly and rather sloppily, for all I know he could still be alive! But I was in a rush and all that mattered was that I get to Johanna.

"She's-" I don't bother to hear the rest of Jordan's words.

I run up the stairs and meet Faine outside the door, "Be nice." She says as I knock.

"Come in." The gentle voice says.

I lightly push open the door even though I just want to barge in and hold her in my arms.

"Hello, Johanna. I'm so glad your awake. Better too, I hope?" I ask politely. I have no idea what I'm doing.

"Well, I guess so. Still a bit chilly but, hey, I've been sleeping for the past two days and I'm sure that once I get up and out of bed I'll be as good as new!" She smiles.

"I suppose you are right. I had some clothes made for you. They are in there," I point to the closet, "Are you hungry or thirsty?"

"Both!" She yells and laughs, "Sorry. I'm always hungry. I love food! What do you have?" She licks her lips in anticipation.

"Um...hot chocolate, orange juice-"

"I'll have coffee!" She blurts.

"Okay. Eggs, waffles, pancakes, french toast, that stuff that comes from pigs-"

"Bacon?"

"Yeah. That's it."

"Sounds great!" She says hungrily.

I wait a couple of minutes, "So which would you like?"

"I'll have all of it." She says casually.

...Well, at least her appetite has not been affected! I have never known a girl to eat that much food!

"Interesting. You can meet the others when-"

"Oh! I already have!" An innocent reply.

"Really?"

"Yup. Jordan, Josh, Faine, Alec, Katy, Felix, Demetri, Afton and Chelsea." A bright smile, "Such nice people!"

I think for a second, "What about Lottie? Did you meet her?"

"You have a another girl living here? Haha! No, I haven't met her."

"Well, you will." I smile to myself, "She's a good friend."

We smile at each other for a little while. Just as I'm about to approach her and give her a hug, she says "Now shoo! I need to get dressed!"

as I was so shocked, all I could do was back out of the room and down the stairs.

Jordan and Faine were already making the food which is good since I can't cook.

"Faine, why hasn't Johanna met Lottie?" No answer, "She met everyone else and will meet Lottie soon enough." Still no answer, "Lottie is as good as the rest of us. I don't care if you think she can't handle being in the same room as a human. She can. I know she can. And I want the two of them to meet." Wow. Deep speech there. But its true. I do consider Lottie my best friend in this house. She is like, my sister I suppose. Not my real sister Galina, not her at all! But like a new sister. Like a sister of the new Gabriel.

"Its not that, Gabriel. I have no doubt that Lottie would be fine around Johanna. Its just that- I'm sorry- Lottie left."

My world started spinning.

"Wh-what? Why? Did she go after that мудак?" Am I feeling jealousy? No. It can't be. I am in love with Johanna. Sadness, then? Perhaps. My only friend and sister gone. Yes, I do believe its sadness then.

"I have no idea what you just said. But I assume you are talking about Bastien?" I nod, "Well, no. She didn't. She just felt the need to get away for a little while, but she is perfectly okay." Faine goes back to cooking as I slump down into a chair. Gone? Really? But why? Was it me? Was it because I had broken up with her? And now I feel bad!

The badness is gone! Johanna is walking down the stairs.

She appears in a gorgeous blue satin dress.

"Gabriel, I think there is a mistake with this-" she stops short as Faine starts stacking food onto the table.

She plops into the chair and starts shoveling it into her mouth muttering 'thank yous'.

We all stare at her in wonder as the food starts to vanish.

"So you're all vampires?" She asks in between bites.

"Who told you that? Of course we're not- pfft! No! We're-" Felix searches for the right word.

"Alaskans?" Demetri offers.

"Yes! That's it! We're from Alaska!" Felix pronounces.

I finally tell him, "She knows, Felix."

Johanna smiles and keeps eating.

"How old are you, Hun?" Faine asks.

"I'm nineteen. And you?"

We all laugh since its obvious that Faine doesn't exactly want to say.

"Well, let's just say that I'm older than that." She says.

"Oh, okay! How old are you, Gabriel?" She asks me.

"I am twenty eight years old." I say proudly.

"I mean in vampire years." She states matter of factly.

"Oh- uh, 621? Something close to that." I surprisingly had no problem saying this to her.

"Wow! You are 602 years older than me. No offense, but you are really old!" All the girls giggle. Why do girls always giggle together? Weird.

"Well, thank you so much for breakfast. It was yummy! Do one of you think you could take me into town? I need to pick up some things."

Yes! This means she plans to stay! Hallelujah!

Faine and Chelsea volunteer so as I watch them leave, Jordan approaches me.

"I have a favor to ask." She chimes.

"I expected that. What do you want?" I cross my arms over my chest.

"You see, Josh and I need our house built within the month so we can bring the girl who is carrying my future baby here so she could-"

"Okay. I get it. Yes, I'll help you."

Jordan jumps up and down like the little spazz that she is and leads me over to the other guys to look at the floor plans.

So the guys, Jordan and I set out to her plot of land and we find some lumber and tools waiting for us.

"Ready?" She asks.

Well, we started to frame the house out according to her dimensions. But, I swear! Jordan got me so pissed off! She kept giving us all of the wrong tools! I mean, seriously, if you are going to be out here building a house then you should at least know what to use to build the house! Duh, Jordan!

A little ways into our building process, after we got rid of Jordan, we stop and see Johanna walk past us. I wouldn't think much of it if she were wearing normal clothes. But she wasn't. She had a giant blue towel wrapped around her otherwise naked body. She whistled as she walked into the woods.

"Oh god!" I mutter to myself as I take off after her.

"Johanna? What the hell are you doing?" I ask catching up to her.

"Going to take a bath." She replies as if it were a normal thing she's doing, "I know you are vampires, and that's fine! There was a creek somewhere in the woods."

"Uh-Johanna-"

"No. I'm fine! I have some soap and some shampoo, I'm all good."

"No. Let me explain- just because we are vampires doesn't mean we like to smell like the dead."

"Huh?" She says.

"We like to take showers too!" Could I explain things any easier?

"Oh. Well then, I guess I should go back to the house and ask one of the girls to show me where it is."

I agree with her and start walking her back to the house. She stopped to look at the house and offered to help us work on it.

"Johanna, not while your-ahem-naked."

"Oh, right."

"Perhaps after you have clothes on?" She agrees with me and we walk in silence back to the house.

"We were wondering...oh!" The girls say when they see Johanna enter.

"What happened to your-"

"Shower." I reply.

I led Johanna upstairs and show her where the damned thing is.

I abruptly leave and go back to my "job". I felt so embarassed! But everyone else seemes to make a joke of it: "ha! The human thinks we don't shower! Ha!" Freaks. Its an honest mistake!

The house is coming along just fine. We'll be finished within the month and the girls will probably start furnishing the place in two weeks.

My thoughts are shattered when Johanna comes over wearing a large flannel shirt and a pair of boot cut jeans.

"Come on, boys! Let's get this done." She dives right into the building process as if she had been doing it her whole life. Refusing any help from us and doing almost as well on her own. I was most impressed by her extensive knowledge of the tools we were using. Well, maybe I'm just impressed because Jordan couldn't do any of this stuff. Anyway, Johanna held up really well against the boys. Sharing jokes and telling stories. But I think she really truly won them over when she said, "I used to play COD every day! My brothers and I were insane about it! Video games and bets are my thing."

Jaws dropped, smiles formed, and a whole bunch of 'no way's and 'sweet's were said.

They all agreed to have a video game marathon later on.

I laughed with Johanna and all was well. I am more than excited to have her here! More than thankful as well. She is my life and my reason for continuing on. Being with her is everything I thought it would be.

-Gabriel


	43. LEARNING TO ADAPTE

LEARNING TO ADAPTE...

April 14th, 2011

Uh...what do I say now? Things have been interesting around here. And Johanna has made it that way. I don't know about her anymore. I love her so much and feel the need to claim her as mine, but she does such weird stuff! Its hard to live with her. And hard to put of with her. I thought all humans were just odd, but no! This girl is mental or something! Anyway, here is what happened:

First, she makes me go with her into town. Not exactly what I wanted to spend a friday doing. Well, actually, I didn't want to spend any day doing that! She drives and I sit and watch the land blur by.

"Thanks for coming with me!" She chirps.

I smile and nod.

After a couple minutes of me not saying anything, she decided to keep the conversation going, "I think we need to talk." A deep, shaky breath, "Why did I dream about you for all those months?"

My head snaps up.

"You dreamt about me?"

I didn't mean for it to sound arrogant or anything. But, were these shared dreams?

"Yeah, that's why I said that I dreamt about you. Well, you and a little girl with black hair."

I stop breathing and time seems to stand still. In almost all of my dreams, she was there with Catia. We shared dreams! We-oh! We shared some frightening dreams.

"Were you ever trapped as a skeleton in one of your dreams?"

"Yeah! How did ya know?" She smiles.

"How can you say that with a smile? That's horrible and morbid!" What the hell kind of human is she?

"I don't know! Stop yelling at me! Why can't you be sensitive and sweet like you are in our dreams with the little girl?"

Our. I do love the sound of that. OUR dreams. OUR life. It sounds perfect, doesn't it?

"That was a dream. This is reality-"

"Who was that little girl?" Johanna interrupts.

"Uh-well, um. She was my daughter. Her name was Catia." I say sadly.

"Aha! A reaction!" She points and giggles at my changed expression, "Wait. What do you mean 'was'? Won't she always be your daughter?"

"Well, yes. But she died 621 years ago-"

"So? Memories live on forever."

I know that. It kills me sometimes.

Just when I'm done talking and want this conversation to end, Johanna keeps talking.

"So tell me about her mother."

Leave it to her to bring up that topic of all others!

"My wife, Natalia. She is dead also. I didn't love her," those words felt weird coming out of my mouth. I didn't love her, but it seemed mean to say so out loud, "it was an arranged marriage. I did everything possible to try and get out of it," images of bars and bleeding noses filled my mind, "but someone convinced me to go back. That someone was my oldest brother, Nikolai, and I always hated him for taking me back. Always." No feelings of hatred surface at his name but I know I never forgave him for that. For making me give up freedom.

"Nikolai. That's a nice name. You still never told me about Natailia-"

"There is nothing to say."

"Well then-" she was hurt that I had cut her off, "what happened to Nikolai? Did he-"

"I killed him." Short and to the point.

The lights went out for him. That's what he gets for forcing me into marriage. And he deserved that bit of pain for the pain that I feel every day at losing Catia.

No more talking on that trip. None at all.

We get inside and start putting the groceries away.

"Johanna! Come play with us!" Alec says waving some sort of game remote.

"Well, I'm kinda," Her stomach let's out a grumble, "busy right now. And I know how bad this all must smell to you-"

"No way! We're fine." Alec tries to say convincingly.

"No we're not." Felix says running up the stairs.

Johanna laughs, "I'll eat quick and be right up." Alec accepts her answer and turns to go challenge the guys.

'Hey! Thanks for the invite!' I want to shout at him, but I know that I would have declined anyway.

Johanna starts boiling water and throwing a whole bunch of ingredients in there.

"So what are you making?" I ask casually leaning against the counter.

"Macaroni and cheese. Its my favorite." She tastes it, "want a taste?"

I know I really shouldn't. I mean, I hate being in human bodies. Its an out of world experience for me but- its so tempting.

So I change into human Gabriel.

Johanna doesn't appear that shocked, probably because I still look the same. She holds the spoon to my lips and the warm noodles slide down my throat.

Mmmmmmm! Never had I had such great modern human food! It was delicious!

"Delicious." I say changing back into my vampire self.

She smiles and pours half of the noodles into a small bowl for herself. We sit down at the kitchen table and I watch her eat.

"So you can do that anytime? And change into anything?"

"Yes. Its easier to do though, when I know who I'm changing into, or when I have a connection to them." I say the last part looking into her eyes. She is my soul mate. I can feel it!

"Cool." Is all she says. After she is done eating, she tosses the bowl into the sink and runs upstairs shouting at Alec that he better be ready for her.

So, my love likes being with them better then me I suppose. Maybe I am not giving her enough space? Jordan's house could always use some work. I grab the tools and run out to it. Its coming along fine. These next 4 hours I spend in perfect silence building. It was calming to do, and nice to let all my thoughts wander around without being afraid that Faine or Jordan would catch bits of them.

As the sun was setting, I decided I had done enough for the day. Back to the house I went.

Johanna was sitting in the kitchen screaming at the boys about cheat codes and that they are 'an insult to the x-box world'. Hmm, sounds friendly.

"Oh! Hey Gabe! Where ya been?" She asks me.

I flinch a bit at the nickname. I don't really like it.

"Building," I reply.

"You should've told me! I would've liked to help."

Maybe she does still like me? Maybe I was thinking all wrong? Let's hope so.

Johanna stretches and yawns, "I guess I should get some sleep."

We agree with her when we notice the clock actually says its 11.

I sit down with everyone and listen to words of approval from the guys. I let out a loud sigh. Nice to see they approve of her gaming skills! How about the rest of her? How about her mind and caring heart?

Losers.

We all turn around to see Johanna walking down the stairs in her pajamas and a blanket around her shoulders.

"Goodnight, guys." She says while walking out the door.

Some mumble a goodnight, others look at me with a 'what the hell is she doing?' look.

I shrug but get up to go find out.

When I open the door I see Johanna sitting in the grass with her knees tucked under her chin and her head tilted towards the sky.

I sit down next to her and look up as well.

"Why do human girls always look at the stars?" I ask.

Without looking away, she replies, "'Do we gaze at the stars because we are human?'" A short pause, "'Or are we human because we gaze at the stars?'"

I think for a minute and then say, "I do not know."

She leans her head on my shoulder and whispers, "Neither do I."

A sweet romantic moment, right? But things will turn ugly, as they always do:

A couple minutes later, she asks me, "Gabriel, I was wearing a cross when I came looking for you. Have you seen it? Its a pretty gold one with small rubies in it."

"No," I snap in reply.

She is hurt and gazes deep into my eyes, "Gabriel?"

I don't answer.

"Don't you believe in God?" She asks me.

I am standing up and away from her, shaking my head with a disgusted look on my face.

"No. I don't. I don't need God, all I need is myself."

She is shaking her head and trying to argue with me.

"Don't argue with a vampire! You will always lose!" I yell at her. Of course, she does not listen.

"I only followed you to find out what the hell you were doing out here."

"Sleeping," she says wiping tears from her eyes.

"Sleeping? Outside? Don't you need a tent or something?" This girl is really getting me angry!

"I wanna sleep under the stars. Do you have a problem with that? Is it too human for you?" She argues.

"No. YOU are too human for me." I abruptly turn and walk into the house.

"Leave her." I say before anyone can ask what happened, "she's sleeping out there."

Damnit, Johanna! Why can't you just be like everyone else? Why does she have to fight with me? Why is she so-so-SO HUMAN?

-Gabriel


	44. LIFE IS FOR LIVING

LIFE IS FOR LIVING...

April 15th, 2011

Johanna and I fought last night. I regret it. A human life is a funny thing ya know. So fragile and so short. There is no time for mistakes and no time to waste. With that being said, I decided to fix things with Johanna. Ironically enough, she comes inside just now and walks right past me without looking. A few minutes later, she comes down the stairs wearing denim shorts and a v-neck shirt. Her long, wavy blonde hair is held back in a messy braid.

She accepts a bowl from Faine and starts eating cereal.

I clear my throat, "Johanna. I am sorry for what I said to you last night." I go to sit next to her, "I care about you a lot and the last thing I would want to do is hurt you."

She nods, accepting my answers, and replies, "Its okay. But, can we please do something different today?"

She really wants to get out of this house, I see it in her eyes and her body shifts in anticipation.

"Yes." I do not want to, but I want to make her happy.

She jumps up and throws her arms around my neck.

"Let's go! Let's go! Let's go!" She yanks me out the door as I shout my good byes.

She leaps onto my back and whispers into my ear, "Take me to the ocean. Take me away."

"I'll take you to the moon and the stars," I whisper back.

She hugs me tight and I take off to the cliffs.

She climbs off my back and runs to the cliff edge. Arms outstretched, wind against her cheeks, she smiles and spins around.

The sun shines down on her making a halo around her head.

I couldn't imagine anything better than this. Than seeing her happy and...alive.

Johanna's eyes snap open with a twinkle of mischief in them.

"Johanna!" I shout as her body falls over the cliff.

In less than a second I am leaning over with my hand grasping hers.

"Ow! My arm!" She shouts.

"Hold on, I'll get you up!"

"Gabriel- no, wait-"

"Did you fall on purpose? What were you thinking? You could die! You could-"

"Gabriel!" She interrupts, "You have to let me go."

"No, Johanna. No I don't." I argue with her.

She tries to struggle out of my grasp but...I am a vampire which means that she cannot.

"Gabriel." She stares into my eyes, "You have to."

I thought long and hard about what I should do. And, I suppose you are wondering why I would have to think about that at all! After all, it is a cliff, and I didn't know what was right below the surface of the water! Johanna could get hurt! I decided that Johanna meant that phrase metaphorically. Many people probably jump off that cliff, and they all probably survive. Johanna is right that I can't be afraid that every single little thing will kill her. If she isn't afraid...then why should I be?

I take an unnecessarily deep breath and let go. Johanna drops straight down with her arms flailing around and screaming in excitement. Immediately I shrug out of my jacket and dive in after her.

The water feels cool as it settles around me. Bubbles float around and show me which way is up. I kick to the surface where Johanna is just coming up for air.

"What the hell were you thinking?" I yell splashing water into her face.

She laughs and runs her hand through her hair.

"Johanna!" I yell. It is really pissing me off that she can be so careless about her own life! she might as well be walking across the highway blindfolded! She completely doesn't care! It isn't even that she "lives on the wild side" its just that she doesn't care!

"Do you even care about your life?" I ask her.

"Life is for living," she responds while looking in my eyes.

"No, no. Life is for THE living." I say peering at the cliff. It was quite the jump and I wonder how Johanna ended up not harming herself.

"Then why did you jump off that cliff too?"

"Because I needed to make sure you weren't hurt."

"That's a poor excuse, Gabriel." She says.

Before I can even get the chance to argue, there is a sail boat pulling up alongside of us.

"Well, what have we here? A couple of fish outta water, eh?"

Says an old man.

Johanna giggles.

"What do ya say ye come aboard and we can dry ya off and give ya some sailing lessons?"

Before I can refuse his offer, Johanna is climbing up a ladder and onto the ship. And of course, I follow after her.

"Here ya are, miss." The old man says draping a blanket around her shoulders.

He disappears into the cabin to find me one as well.

"Is this what you want?" I whisper to her, "Well, then you'll get it. I'll give you alive!"

The old man returns but I refuse the blanket. I take off my button down shirt and am left in my wet under shirt.

"Mind if I drive?" I ask stepping behind the wheel.

Before he can reply I have the sails open and am pulling away from the rocky shore. We fly on the wind and Johanna giggles in excitement and holds on to the mast. I let my own laughter roar out as the water splashes me in the face.

It was nice to feel that way. Nice to feel free and in control. I am in control of where we go, in charge of myself and two other people. If I wanted to continue on without them, all I would have to do is crash the boat and be done with them. But I wouldn't...not today. Perhaps another day, but today I was in control of my desires.

About 2 hours later, the old man had had enough. He tapped me on my shoulder and, with a slightly green tint, he took over the wheel. The ship slowed drastically and I settled down next to Johanna. She still had the blanket around her shoulders but her hair was all dry.

"Well?" I ask as she settles into my arms, "What did you think?"

"I think," she says teasingly and slowly, "that you are more alive than you want to admit."

I nod my head slowly and look to the horizon.

"What is this?" Johanna shrieks, "No argument? Who are you and what have you done with my Gabriel?" She asks while poking and shoving me playfully.

"I have an argument. I'm just not in the mood to say it right now."

Just then the old man comes over with 2 glasses and a bottle of red wine.

We accept these things and he returns back to steering the ship.

She reaches for the bottle but I look at her accusingly.

"How old are you?" I reprimand her.

"Come on, Gabriel. This wouldn't be the first time I've had wine before."

I decide to let this slide. I pull out the cork and pour us both glasses.

"To you." I say.

"To life." She replies.

We both sip our wine and then she says, "Can you have this? I mean- with your condition and all." She uses 'condition' so the old guy doesn't learn of my vampire-ness.

I chuckle and look at the interesting liquid, "I suppose so. I rather like red wine so why not?"

"Tell me more about you. What was it like when you were a human?"

She leans against my chest and, reluctantly, I tell her my life story. That's how my day ended. Telling a horror story to a beautiful girl as we sailed into the sunset.

-Gabriel


	45. WHA WHAT? JOHANNA'S POV

WHA-WHAT? (Johanna's POV)

April 18th, 2011

Hello Diary,

So I've been staying with Gabriel for the past week. You do remember him, right? The man I saw in the woods a few months ago? He killed all of my friends...and tried to kill me. Well, I do know what you are thinking: 'Why the hell are you living with the man who tried to murder you?'

Haha! Well, I don't know. I guess its because of my past. So many things have happened to me and to my family...I guess I just want to live in the moment since you never know how long that moment will last. Of all people...I know how hard that can be...

Forget that part of this topic! I've been having a pretty good time. The boys are great! Felix is funny and Alec is nice. Demetri is just like the older brother I always wanted! And it gets even better, Diary! All we do all day/night is play video games together! And usually I kick at least one or two asses! Lol before I leave I will definitely have to show them some pointers.

The girls...are pretty girly. Faine, possibly Valentina, might be the only non-girly girl here. But, then again, I really haven't had much time with Jordan since she is preparing for a baby! Isn't that great? I think its sweet that she and her husband want the "ideal family". But, who is to say what is and isn't "ideal"? What if I didn't want to be married but wanted 10 kids? Would that be extremely un-ideal? Well, yeah. I think it would be, but you get the point!

So you caught the 'I'm leaving' bit, huh? Its true. While they all have been so nice to me for the past week and a half, I have to get home to my parents and to what is left of my life. There isn't much of it, but I can't lose what I do have. I can't. The hardest part of all this will be seeing Gabriel's face when I say goodbye. The poor man can't stop following me around! He has no connection whatsoever to me and yet thinks he can control me! I swear it is the most aggravating thing ever! I thought I could change him. Just because he is technically "dead" doesn't mean he has to act like it! I would think it would be obvious to him that he was given a second chance for a reason! That poor jerk blames himself for everything that happens, but he doesn't realize that everything happens for a reason! He lived for a reason, I lived for a reason, the others lived for a reason! God has a plan, and he needs us in it. I guess I should tell Gabriel now, huh? Now would be good. I have my white dress on, the one I arrived in, I wouldn't feel right taking any of the clothes they bought me. Gee, I hope he takes it okay.

I prance down the stairs and just before I can say goodbye to everyone, my cell phone starts ringing.

I plead with everyone to not use their super vampire hearing. I think they listen, not like I could ever tell!

Oh no, its the hospital...

"Hello?" I say in a shaky voice.

"Miss Blake, how are you-"

"Don't talk to me like you really care. And don't you dare pretend we are friends. What happened?" I demand.

A deep breath on the other line, "We knew it wasn't possible for-" I zone in and out of shock and only catch parts of the sentence,"...shock...tests...no more time..." And at last they said those fatal words: the kiss of death on my sundae of suck! It was, "...I'm sorry..."

I lean my head against the cool wood of the room and pull air into my lungs. My head is spinning and I feel like I can't breathe. The gesture is too forced.

"Hello? Miss Blake?" The doctor says.

I close my eyes and warm tears start gliding down my cheeks, spilling from my eyes, "No. Your not." My words come faster and harsher, "YOU NEVER EVEN TRIED!" I snap the phone shut and squeeze it tight. I wasn't strong enough to break it like Gabriel could.

All the sudden, Faine has her cold hand on my shoulder, "Johanna?"

"No. Don't touch me." I step away from her, "Don't come near me." And then I am racing out the door. My feet are pounding against the earth and my eyes are blinded by white hot tears. The wind slaps my face and rocks stab my bare feet but I don't feel the pain. In fact, I welcome it. I'd rather feel that than the kind of hurt my heart was feeling.

It didn't take long for me to collapse. I just couldn't carry on any longer, my heart couldn't take it. So I fell into a flower garden and pulled my knees under my chin. I started rocking myself back and forth with my hands constantly running through my hair.

What would I do now? Where would I go? Who would I go to?

I didn't have the will or the time to answer those questions.

"Johanna, what happened?" Gabriel asks sliding onto the ground in front of me.

"N-n-nothing," I stammer. He looks anxious, "Gabriel, I need to-"

"Wait, Johanna. I have something I need to say. And you need to hear it."

Well, how bad could it be to hear what he needs to say? He's just going to yell at me again, right?

"I love you."

what? WHAT THE HELL?

"Я люблю тебя (I love you). And I will forever. I haven't stopped thinking about you since I first saw you-"

"You don't even know me!" I shout.

He continues on, "you are the reason I exist and want to continue on. I guess what I am trying to say is-"

"No." I plead, "I can't handle this right now. Please don't-"

"Will you marry me?" His eyes light up.

This is really what he says at this time? While he is cute and semi nice...sometimes... I just-just...

"No."

-Johanna


	46. SORROW GABRIEL'S POV

SORROW(Gabriel's POV)

April 18th, 2011

"What did you say?" I ask in disbelief.

"No." She repeats clear and strong.

"Is it just because I don't have a ring? Have I done something else? Tell me what I can do to change your mind! I will do anything!" I plead to her as she starts walking away.

"You can't do anything, Gabriel. You can't change what happened."

"But, Johanna, I want to spend forever with you! I need to be with you! I love you-"

"Stop saying that!" She shouts. She takes a deep breath and instead says, "You can't love somebody you don't know."

"But I do know you! Your birthday is-"

"That's what you know ABOUT me. That's not me. You think I'm perfect and pure...I'm not. I've done stupid things for stupid reasons. I've gone out at night and waken up the next morning not sure of where I was."

"It doesn't matter."

"I've loved someone and given up everything for him, and then been left with nothing!"

I grit my teeth and repeat, "It doesn't matter. All that matters is us from this point on." I take her hands in mine but she pulls them back and walks away.

"You can't love someone that you don't KNOW. And I can't love you!"

"Why not?" I beg her. I love her. I need her. She is all I can think about and all that I can remember wanting for 621 years that was not blood.

"Because I could never love someone who's ex-girlfriend killed my parents." She forces the words out.

"What?" Was all I could manage to say.

Who-who killed her parents?

"Who did that?" I ask.

"Oh! Don't you play stupid! My parents are dead and you pretend not to know why or what happened! How mature!" She stalks off again but I follow her, needing to know what happened.

"Johanna, I swear that I don't know anything about this! Please tell me."

"Oh really? You didn't know that your little blonde girlfriend came to my home in Pennsylvania? And you didn't know that while I was out she tortured and beat my parents?"

"No. I didn't. Honestly." My heart was breaking at this story! I can't handle her being in so much pain!

"Well, you just try and imagine my pain and shock when I came home and my walls were covered in blood. You just imagine my terror when the lights wouldn't come on and when I couldn't call the police because the power was cut. Imagine me calling out my parents names: 'mom! Dad! Where are you? Please! I need you!' And then, picture running outside because you see three holes in the ground. You look in those holes and see your parents! All bloody and not moving! Lying in a grave! You try to scream but you can't. Something is out there with you but you know you can't escape it. Something flies in front of you and kicks you back. It lands on top of you and punches, kicks, pulls and scratches. All I saw was red. So much red. On me, on the ground, on the girl. She drags me to the third hole and throws me in. The last thing I remember was her standing above me with a knife in her hand. 'You can't have Gabriel,' she says to me, 'He's mine. You will ruin him.' I insisted that I wouldn't, but the girl didn't believe me, 'you dug your grave, now you can lie in it.' She jumped into the hole and cut my wrist right on the vein. There was so much blood. I never knew a body held that much blood." Her voice trails off and her body is shivering in fear.

"I still don't know who did that to you."

"SILVER BLONDE HAIR! LITTLE 15 YEAR OLD GIRL!"

Oh no. It can't be-.

"She took that knife and drew a 'J' on my cheek. I think you know her as Jane!"

No, no, no! Dammit, Jane!

"Johanna, I am so-"

"Don't you dare finnish that sentence!" She yells, "You don't know what I went through! You didn't see the blood dripping off that knife! You didn't feel yourself dying, to weak to grab the knife and shove it through that girls heart!...I closed my eyes and didn't wake up for another week. And when I did, my parents were in a coma." She pauses and stares at me and I keep feeling worse and worse, "So, thank you. Thanks a lot."

"Johanna! I didn't know that! Yes I dated Jane, but I didn't feel anything for her like she felt for me."

I heard Jane's evil cackling laughter at all the pain and anger. I bend over doubled in pain.

"Gabriel? What is it?"

I dart straight up, "Where are they?"

She mumbles the name of the hospital. Its a long while away from here but I'm fast. We'll make it in no time at all.

I take her arm and sling her over on my back.

"Where are we going?" She demands as I take off running.

I ignore her completely and totally for the next few hours. My mind is focused just on getting us to that hospital and not getting into a real fight with Johanna. I am so hungry and so disappointed that at this point, it wouldn't shock me if I made a break for her throat.

The one thing about her that I sometimes could not keep away from, was her arm. I was finally noticing the thin, raised scar along her wrist. I felt horribly for what Jane had done to her life, and I wish I had known about this when we fought Claire so I could've killed Jane myself! Hell is too wonderful of a place for her...she deserves something much worse, something that I couldn't imagine. Perhaps one day I could figure a way to resurrect Jane but all to kill her myself and then re-resurrect her and kill her again! She would pay for what she had done! Some way, she would! My hallucinations started to come back: I saw Jane running alongside of me. Laughing and racing me. I knew I was faster, but somehow she always stayed ahead. Even when she was alive, she was always ahead. She thought to check up on Johanna and eliminate her even when I was sure she was dead. But even that couldn't keep Jane and I together. I was, and always would be, destined to be with Johanna. At least...I hope so.

The hospital came into sight so I slowed up and Johanna dropped from my back.

"What are you doing?" She keep shrieking at me.

I try to keep my strength in check as I grab her wrist and pull her into the building.

"What room?" I ask.

"340." She replies.

I pull her towards the left and we walk down the hall.

I must say, seeing some of the people there made me glad that I was a vampire. Some of them had suffered so much and I know that I will never experience their kind of suffering.

I throw open the door of 340 and pull Johanna inside. All is silent when I close the door, except for the beeping of machines and the whirring sounds of monitors.

"Papa? Mama?" Johanna asks coming between both the beds, "Can you hear me?"

When they don't reply after a few minutes, Johanna sees me looking at the machines, "The doctors have them on life support. They say it is the only thing keeping them alive. Earlier they said they wanted to pull the plug on them since neither one of them has brain activity. But I can't let that happen."

"Move." I push her aside and step between her parents resting in the beds. I take my nail and slide it along my wrist until there is a river of red pouring out.

"What are you doing?" She asks frantically as I move towards her father.

"Do you trust me?"

"Gabriel, I-"

"Do you trust me?" I stare into her eyes.

She doesn't say anything but she backs away slightly. I let my blood run into her fathers mouth and down his throat. Then I turn and do the same to her mother. I step back to watch at what would happen. Johanna and I waited in silence for what was probably 10 minutes.

Silently, and slowly, I turn around and walk towards the door.

"Gabriel?"

I turn off the switch for life support, "I'm sorry." And then I leave the room.

I stand outside and look in the window.

Johanna sinks to her knees between the two beds and starts sobbing. Her shoulders shake and I can hear her sniffling getting louder and louder. She is gasping for breath between tears.

What happens next can only be described as a miracle. And of all people, I do believe that she deserved that miracle.

Her head was buried in her arms on one of the beds, her body shaking. But it wasn't her I was watching. Oh so slowly and almost unnoticed, the father's right hand twitches. Slowly, it moves towards Johanna's and grasps her small hand in his. And if you were to look at her right shoulder, you would see the mothers hand on it. Johanna hasn't realized this yet. She puts her hand on top of the one on her shoulder and clenches it. Feeling the familiarity though, she slowly looks up and her mouth hangs open in shock.

"Papa!" She screams as she jumps into his open arms.

"Mama!" Fresh tears fall as she hugs her mother so tightly.

This time, the tears are ones of joy and happiness.

I let a small smile touch my lips as I turn and walk away. My life seems to move in slow motion as I walk down the hall. For one instant in time, things seem right and there is no threat. Before I leave the building, I tap the shoulder of a doctor, "You are needed in room 340."

-Gabriel


	47. WHAT HAPPENED?

WHAT HAPPENED?

April 25th, 2011

I haven't done much for the last few days. I took my sweet time getting home, stopping in a country here or a town there. Everyone was worried about me when I got home. I ignored them mostly and went up to my room. Oh, did I say they were worried about me? Well, I meant they were worried about Johanna! They accused me of eating her and when I made sure they believed I didn't, I was then accused of being so mean that she had no choice but to leave. I denied that as well. She had her own mind made up to leave. But it was also a choice that she could have come back! I should have known that she didn't love me. All the signs were there! She didn't let me hold her, she didn't go out of her way to include me, she never spent one-on-one time with me...I should have known. So here I am now, sitting on the porch watching the sun go below the horizon. The brilliant oranges and reds that light up the sky just before the sun dips below the horizon. Its sad really, another day has passed, another day without Johanna.

I hear Faine opening the door behind me.

"She had a choice." I say, "You know that, right? I didn't drive her away."

"What happened?" She asks sitting down next to me.

"Jane." That one name has shivers creeping up both of our spines. I let Faine into my mind so she can hear Johanna's story and see her face.

"Wow. That's scary. That's horrifying actually. But you brought them back for her! You made them alive again!"

"That means nothing. I killed them in the first place."

We say nothing for a while. Faine wonders what to say to me and I wonder what will happen in the near future. I don't want to imagine a life without her, but I am fearing that I might have to.

"Why do you think she left?" I ask blankly. I have no emotion in my voice, I don't know what to feel.

"Because she's so alive."

I let her answer sink in. Johanna jumped off that cliff because she thinks that's what living people usually do. She helps build houses in the rain because people "always do that". She sleeps outside, in the cold, under the stars because "why not? The stars are there for our pleasure, so why not let them be the last creation you see before you fall asleep?"

I reach the conclusion that Faine might be right. But, Johanna can't be normal. No normal person acts like she does.

"She can't be normal, then." I say, "No humans do the things that she does. She looks fear in the face and laughs, she looks beauty in the eye and worships it, she follows mother nature into the heart of a storm and thinks she is on an island paradise. That can't be normal."

"Some humans see things differently from others. And so do some vampires." She looks at me, "I know you don't want to hear that she left because of how alive she is, but that's why. She wants to live in the world and change with it, not hold onto the past and live in the dark."

I've had enough of Faine's speeches. I stand up and stare at the moon. I feel its light running deep in me and feel the power of the dark ebbing around me.

"Alive. Yeah right. I'm done with this. I'm done with her." Before she can respond, I am running far away.

Faine may think that I sounded cruel and harsh, but she doesn't know how hurt I am deep down. I've lost Johanna so many times already! And to feel this final cut is like dying again. Johanna won't come back. I mean, why would she? I don't do anything to make her feel exactly welcome and I don't do anything to show her I can be the man she wants.

So I guess this is goodbye, forever, I'll never go looking for her as long as I live.

The thought hits me hard and I trip over my own feet. I tumble into the middle of a road and lie there for a while. The town seems deserted. Everyone is home, asleep in their beds. I gaze at the stars and feel myself wondering if Johanna was looking at them as well. Do we even see the same stars? Well, Johanna and I never saw things the same way. I see hundreds of flecks of light (the stars) and she sees "life".

All the sudden, my vampire body feels too constricted, I change into my human self and breathe in the cool night air. It burns my throat and lungs on the way in. And finally, tears drip from my eyes. I hate to admit it, but yes, I was crying. They were silent tears! I wasn't sobbing like a child. About an hour later, I stopped. My eyes were sore when I touched them and as I stood up, I felt how cold it truly was. I shoved my hands in my pockets and wished I had worn my leather jacket. I did the only thing I could think of: I started walking. I was just going to follow the road until- until...well, for however long I wanted. Maybe I would keep walking forever. That seemed nice, to walk through the world as it changes but not even noticing. But-ah! What a thought I just had! A wonderful thought it is! Could I die? After all, I was currently human... and humans can die...so couldn't I die now? You know, that isn't even the real question. The real question is: Would I stay dead?

I considered this for a long while as I walked on. I was just about to look down and turn back around but I saw a glow coming over the horizon.

Surely that can't be the sun already?

Well, me being who I am, I decided I wanted to know what that was. I kept walking towards it, pushing all other thoughts into the back of my mind. The glow took on a red haze and then purple then blue. The colors were changing constantly. Even though I was still a good many miles away, I heard music blaring. And I wondered how a place could be that loud and not bother the humans? I also began to wonder what I was walking into.

-Gabriel


	48. THE SEVEN DEADLY SINS

THE SEVEN DEADLY SINS...

April 25th, 2011

The song changed and the air filled with heavy metal songs. The electric guitar cut through the air and the bass made the ground rumble. It became too loud for my human ears to stand so I assumed my vampire form once again. A building came into view, not large but not small either. And on that building was a sign:

'Seven Deadly Sins'

It said.

The building was completely black with no windows or lights. The only sign of light was the red glow leaking out from under the door.

On the outside of the building were a few chalk outlines of bodies and also red paint. But, on closer examination, I discovered that it wasn't paint. It was blood.

Well, no time better than now to see what's inside. Probably just some upset kids threatening to kill people. No big.

I push open the unlocked door and find myself walking down a long, empty corridor. There is mirror on both sides and seven words written in dripped blood (most people probably just think its paint.

Those seven words are:

Vanity

Envy

Over Indulgence

Greed

Lust

Inactivity of virtue

Wrath

Well, what do ya know, its the seven deadly sins. At last, I reach a door. On it there is a sign and it says 'Failure to participate in the before mentioned sins will result in immediate death.'

I shrug my shoulders and pull open the door. What have I got to lose, right?

A wave of sound almost knocks me back. Heavy metal, very dark and gothic:

"Can you feel that ... that shit

ouahahaha(x2)

ah ah (x3)

Drowning deep in my sea of loathing

Broken your servant I kneel(will you give in to me)

It seems what's left of my human side

Is slowly changing in me(will you give in to me)

Looking at my own reflection

When suddenly it changes

Violently it changes (oh no)

There is no turning back now

You've woken up the demon in me

(chorus)

Get up, come on get down with the sickness (x3)

Open up your hate, and let it flow into me

Get up, come on get down with the sickness

You mother get up come on get down with the sickness

You fucker get up come on get down with the sickness

Madness is the gift, that has been given to me

I can see inside you, the sickness is rising

Don't try to deny what you feel (will you give it to me)

It seems that all that was good has died

And is decaying in me (will you give it to me)

It seems you're having some trouble

In dealing with these changes

Living with these changes (oh no)

The world is a scary place

Now that you've woken up the demon in me

(chorus)

(And when I dream)(x4)

No mommy, don't do it again

Don't do it again

I'll be a good boy

I'll be a good boy, I promise

No mommy don't hit me(oww)

Why did you have to hit me like that, mommy?

Dont do it, you're hurting me(oww)

Why did you have to be such a bitch

Why don't you,

Why don't you fuck off and die

Why can't you just fuck off and die

Why can't you just leave here and die

Never stick your hand in my face again bitch

FUCK YOU

I don't need this shit

You stupid sadistic abusive fucking whore

How would you have to see how it feels mommy

Here it comes, get ready to die

ouahahah

get up, come on get down with the sickness(x3)

open up your hate, and let it flow into me

get up, come on get down with the sickness

you mother get up come on get down with the sickness

you fucker get up come on get down with the sickness

madness has now come over me"

The door closes behind me and I take in the sight. Its just like a bar. Tables every where and peopl sitting on stools drinking. I started thinking that this might be some sort of vampire-cult related bar. Everyone here was dressed in absurd outfits, completely absurd, as in, Dracula just walked passed me. I walk towards the bar top and sit down. A guy with blonde hair comes over to me, he is wearing no shirt but has a bow tie around his neck.

"Dead or un-dead?" He asks me.

I pause, unsure of what exactly he is asking, "Un-dead?" I reply.

He pulls out a menu and hands it to me, on it are several kinds of drinks. Some of which include:

Bloody Mary

Margaret-ita

Jack Daniels

Virgin Brew

"Uh, I think there is some sort of mistake." I say pointing to the 'margaret-ita'.

"No. No mistake." The boy says. He walks away and leaves me to contemplate the situation.

Just by chance I turn around and see a girl move to sit on top of a guys lap. She starts kissing his neck and when she looks up at me, her lips are red, she has fangs and her eyes send off and eery glow. She resumes her meal and I look straight ahead again.

The blonde haired boy comes back and sets a bottle down in front of me, "From the girl at the end of the bar." He says.

I look, but there is no girl. I lift the bottle but I'm not sure of what's in there, oh well, I raise it to my lips and let the cool liquid flow down my throat. Upon tasting the liquid, I learn that it is a perfect combination of blood and alcohol.

"You looked like the Jack Daniels kind of guy." Says a female voice behind me.

I turn around and stand up. There is a short girl with short brown hair that frames her face. She has on a tight black corset-like top with peasant sleeves attached and tight leather pants as well. Her skin is pale, her eyes are black, her teeth are sharp. She is a vampire.

"Is this your first time?" She asks, "At a vampire bar?"

I nod.

"Oh, well it won't be your last! You'll love it! So was I right? Did you like Jack Daniels?"

"Yes. I did."

"Oh! Haha! Manners, I forget them sometimes. But we are vampires, why do we need those anyway? My name is Brielle."

Okay, ready to commit one of those seven deadly sins: Lust. She had me at not needing manners.

"I'm Gabriel."

"Well, I'm certainly glad you are un-dead. Otherwise I might have made you."

"Oh really?" I ask.

"Yeah. Really." She replies.

"How old are you?"

"I don't know. I don't keep track. Its so human, don't ya think?"

I stare at her black eyes, "Your right. Absolutely right." The song changes and everybody gets up to dance. They twist their bodies wildly and jerk their heads. I've never seen a dance like this.

"You want to try it." She nods her head towards the others, "Its new too you. This is all new too you."

I nod and reach for her hand.

"He wants to meet you first." She says moving her hand away.

"Who does?" I ask.

She turns around and points, "He does."

-Gabriel


	49. HIM

HIM...

April 25th, 2011

I follow her gaze to a platform that wasn't there a few seconds ago. Its in the back of the room over looking the crowd. There is a large throne with a man sitting on it, he sits there looking relatively bored. And I wonder how someone can be so bored while watching this kind of dancing. His never ending black gaze is set upon me. He is tall with shaggy blonde, windblown hair. For some reason I begin to feel nervous and that feeling gets worse when I hear a voice in my head, 'Gabriel.' It says over and over.

Before I realize what is happening, Brielle is pulling me towards the man and the bartender is following behind us.

At last, I am standing in front of him with my escape blocked by the bartender.

"Gabriel, this is Rodrick, our king. Rodrick, this is Gabriel."

I feel powerless standing in front of him and I'm not sure why. He hasn't even moved yet, let alone blinked!

The song ends, Rodrick speaks, "Boo." The expression still comes across rather bored.

"I thought you didn't have a king? I thought you were in control of yourself? What kind of place is this?"

I try to run away from them all but I find myself somehow in a different room. Locked in a different room. And I haven't the slightest idea how I ended up there. I try ripping down the doors or tearing through the walls but its iron. Or something, something I can't get through. And there is no door, which makes me wonder how I got in here at all. I yell, but the room is soundproof. I start hearing that voice again, 'I see you didn't like my welcome, un-dead one.'

"Rodrick." I say.

As if on cue, he appears in front of me.

'Speak of the Devil and the Devil will come. Isn't that the expression they say these days.' I hear in my head.

"What's your deal? Don't you ever speak out loud?"

"Yes. Yes I do. As my dear Brielle said: I am the king here. Welcome to my bar, The Seven Deadly Sins. A place where vampires can be who they truly are and not hide from the mortals."

"Well, I don't know what century you are still stuck in but most of us don't hide anymore! We get out there and live our lives!"

"And that's exactly what you shouldn't do. That's what the mortals do. They "live their lives" as you put it. We're un-dead. We get to live someone elses life."

I agreed with this, fully and totally.

'Let's see what your power is.' Rodrick says in my head.

And then I feel as if my insides are being twisted, I feel like I'm being burned alive. And when it is all over, I look like that guy at the bar.

"Hh-mmm. The mind of the old vampires, the style of the new ones, and a power to be both." He says while circling me, "A shape shifter. We don't get any of those. How interesting."

I resume my vampire form again, "I guess I'm just one of a kind."

'You are.'

"So? What now?"

"You seem to be a corpse without a coffin." I give him a look that says I have no idea what the hell you are saying!

"You need a place to stay, yes?" I nod, "Good. I can help you with that. Come along." He disappears.

I wait for a few minutes and nothing happens, "Uh...Rodrick?"

He appears again.

'You were supposed to follow me.'

"So you are the transporter!"

"No, no. That's not me. That's the bartender, Reaper. Come." He is pulling me towards the wall and just before we hit it, we are gone. In another room.

I find myself surrounded by several other vampires.

'This is Brielle, Reaper, Lara, Arion, and Skye. And there is also Stormy who isn't here right now.'

There is silence for a second.

"Well, our guest must be hungry." Arion says. He picks up a bottle of Jack Daniels, "Here" he says.

I would have accepted it but it ended up halfway across the room when Rodrick lashed out at Arion. They snarl at each other and growl but Arion backs down.

"Let's go out." Reaper (the bartender) suggests.

All the sudden, we are outside. All of us except Rodrick.

We hear a couple of humans laughing and I smell the salt air, we are near the ocean.

"Let's go kill us some drunks!" Skye shouts.

Arion and Brielle let out a howl and they race off. I follow them, never wanting to refuse a meal, and also curious of them.

A bonfire comes into view and the 'whooping' of the humans gets louder. We stop on a cliff just above them and look down.

Lara and Brielle look at Arion and Reaper. They hold out their left arms and the guys take their hands.

"Pull." Brielle commands. The guys yank off their arms and throw them off the cliff. The humans are curious at the sound and go to investigate.

Brielle nods at Lara and they both throw themselves off the cliff.

"Just watch their faces." Skye laughs.

And he is right. The human's eyes go wide and horror is etched into their faces.

And then shock when the girls jump up at the first two. I laugh as I jump to the ground with the guys.

And then its a feast, no witty puns or long speeches, no one to interrupt. Arms are torn off, necks are ripped open, skulls are crashed. And we have a fun time of doing it. Just as we are all finished and Brielle and Lara are re-attaching their arms, thunder rumbles and lightning strikes. I feel a bit alarmed, the storm came so sudden, but the others look completely un-phased. Lightning strikes again but this time right in front of us.

I jump back and everyone laughs at my reaction.

"And you didn't save any for me!" Says a female voice. We all look to the top of the cliff where we were standing. There is an outline of a woman.

"The new guy gets some but I don't?" A flash of lightning. In that flash, I see a black haired girl with pure white stripes in her hair. Her eyes are dark and cloudy. The wind whips her duster around her legs and her hair comes to life as she jumps down.

"Hey, new guy."

"I'm Gabriel."

"She's Stormy." Lara says.

"So don't get on my bad side," Stormy jokes.

Skye holds out a severed arm to Stormy and she takes it and sucks on what little bit of blood that was left.

"Skye and Stormy are mates," Brielle whispers to me, "So are Arion and Lara."

"Whose your mate? Is it Reaper?"

She runs her hand through my hair, "I'm still unclaimed."

"Secrets!" Reaper shouts.

Damn him for ruining my moment with Brielle!

"Huh?" I say.

"What's your power?" He asks.

"Shape shifter. You?"

"Instant transport."

I look at everyone.

"Super strength," Arion says.

"Super smart," Lara chirps.

I didn't quite understand that but I guess I could ask about it later.

"Ability to make people to see something else," Skye says with a smile.

Stormy obviously controls storms.

"How about you?" I ask Brielle.

"I'll tell you later. Let's go home, the sun is coming up."

She sprinted from me and we all followed. When we got there, all the humans and nomadic vampires were gone, the place was silent and Rodrick was gone.

We all settle onto the couch or into some chairs.

Arion pulls out a deck of cards and we start playing poker. The guys and Brielle, since Stormy and Lara went off somewhere else. Brielle gets up for a second but she is instantly back with Margaret-itas for us.

"So, uh, how long are ya staying for? Not long I hope?" Arion says. Leave it to him to say that!

"Its pretty cool here. I might stay forever." I reply.

"Boys, boys. Relax. Let's solve this like the adults we are." Brielle deals out the cards and we play for me leaving or staying. I had a crappy hand so I folded. It all came down to Arion and Brielle.

Arion had a pair of jacks.

"Not good enough," she lays down a pair of kings, " He stays." Brielle says with a smile.

-Gabriel


	50. BUTTERFLY

BUTTERFLY...

May 1st, 2011

I can't believe its been six days, it only feels like six hours! I've had the time of my un-dead life here! We party and drink all day and party harder all night! The music is great, the food is great and the people are great! Rodrick says that I fit in perfectly here, and I feel that too. I even adopted a "costume". Its become our inside joke since mortals have this insane idea of how vampires look and what they like. If I could make one thing clear to the humans, it would be: Just because your abnormally pale, like to wear black, and listen to heavy metal music doesn't make you a vampire!

Hah!

Anyway, its about 2 hours after sunrise, and the guys and I just finished another game of poker. I tell them I'm going to get some Jack Daniels but I also want to know what happened to Brielle. I grab my drink and start wandering around the back looking for her. Eventually, I find her sitting on the floor with her knees under her chin.

"What's up?" I ask her as I sit down next to her.

"Nothing," she replies quietly.

"Hey! You never told me what your power is!"

"Mass destruction," she says as a butterfly settles into the palm of her hand.

"I don't get-"

"Have you every heard of the 'chaos theory'?" I shake my head, "Well, this is how it goes: 'It has been said something as small as the flutter of a butterfly's wing can ultimately cause a typhoon halfway around the world.'" She pauses and thinks, "And I get to be that butterfly." She says as she crushes the small creature in her hand.

"That's a really awesome power. We could have used you when we took down the Volturri."

"What? Whose 'we'? You killed the Volturri?" She yells standing up.

"What? Did I say 'we'? I didn't mean it. I meant I." I try to cover it up. I can't believe i let that slip! Crap!

"No. You definitely said 'we'." She warns.

"Just forget about that. Look on the bright side; the Volturri are dead!"

"I can't believe you really killed them! Wait until Rodrick hears about this!" Her voice then gets quieter, more normal, "He likes you, ya know. He never speaks out loud to any of us but he speaks to you. He trusts you. But he isn't the only one who is happy you are still here." She says while placing her hand on my chest.

Her hand just misses my scars and I let out a sigh of relief.

"I've had these feelings for you, and I'm not sure what they are."

"Love?" I ask.

"Love? I want you to be my mate. There is something about you, a power inside and a royal exterior. The way you are, its like you were a king or something."

"Nope. I'm just plain old me." I say as I finish the last of Jack Daniels.

"Well I like it. Don't let anyone change you."

Our bodies get this weird buzz and we can tell the sun has gone down.

"Time to party." She says as her fangs slide down.

"Its always time to party," I reply just as mischievously.

The freaks and nomads start arriving and the place is booming with music.

"Go," I tell Reaper.

I appear behind the bar so he can go eat and dance.

"Dead or un-dead?" I ask with a wicked grin.

The night blurs by, its all just colors to me now. Red, black and electric purples.

We had just closed up which means the sun is up. We are all goofing around when Rodrick walks in.

"And how is our Prince of Darkness?" He asks.

"Just fine." I smile.

"Rodrick, Gabriel killed the Volturri!" Skye bellows.

"Big whoop," Arion mutters.

"It is, as you put it a 'big whoop'" Rodrick growls.

He pushes me down into his throne, "We are forever thankful, Little Prince. Amuse us with your heroic tale?" He requests.

I smile as I accept more blood from Stormy and I gush out this amazing story of how 'I killed the Volturri and then an army was raised out of anger and I single handedly destroyed them too.'

Their mouths are wide open in awe.

"Oh my god! You are the bomb!" Lara squeals.

"Top notch, new guy," Stormy winks.

"I think the devil gave us the wrong power. You are definitely supposed to be 'the butterfly'." Brielle smiles.

Rodrick says nothing for a while but instead seems to be staring into my soul.

'I do believe you are my brother. Bravo.' I hear.

Out of nowhere, Rodrick says, "I do believe Gabriel's glass is empty."

Brielle takes it from me and heads toward the bar but he stops her.

"Are you sure?" She asks.

Without replying, he slits his wrist and empties some of his blood into the glass.

The others are shocked at this, Arion gets so angry that he storms out of the room.

I don't quite get it until Brielle hands me the glass.

'You are one of us now. Drink.' he says in my mind.

So I do. But I didn't know then exactly what I was drinking.

'How does it taste?'

"Extraordinary!" I remark.

For the first time since I was alive, I felt warm. I felt powerful. I felt...different. I'm not sure how differently I felt, whether it was good or bad, but I knew a change had been made.

'It should! You just drank the blood of the oldest vampire still walking the Earth.'

I dropped the glass, shocked.

I was on my feet in a second.

"Your what now? You just gave me the blood of the oldest vampire?" I couldn't believe it!

He nods.

"Why?" Seriously! What did I do to deserve that?

'Like I said, your my brother. My friend. The modern version of me.'

My mouth hung open.

"What does it feel like?" Brielle asks.

"Like-" I search for the words, "-my veins are buzzing, I feel warm inside. Like-like-" all the sudden the chair next to me is on fire.

"Like that." I say.

Stormy puts the fire out and Lara leaves to check on Arion.

They all go to bunk down for the day as Rodrick leads me to his private room.

-Gabriel


	51. SO HUMAN

SO HUMAN...

May 20th, 2011

What a life! Or should I say UN-life? I've had so much fun here, and most of the time we weren't doing anything! I don't have to try to fit in here, I just do. And when I have a bad day and am brooding about, nobody badgers me about it, they just leave me be until I'm ready to party again.

Rodrick and I are like- like brothers. We share the same opinions and often the same likes and dislikes.

More than once I have felt a twinge of sadness thinking about the others in Kerry. I am wondering if the house is done yet and if Jordan's child has been born. Has Johanna come searching for me?

No.

I can't do that to myself anymore, I just can't! I had feelings stronger than life for her, and she destroyed them. She rejected them, me. I promised myself I would never think of her again. I told myself I was done with her...and now I will be.

"What's this? A diary?" Arion says ripping it from my hands.

"No. Its not. Now give it back." I lash out but he slips from my grasp.

"'Oh, Johanna'" He flips a page, "'Johanna, Johanna, Johanna'" He raises his voice as we enter the main room.

"Give it back!" I keep shouting.

He ignores me, "'Johanna, my heart beats for you! You make me feel like a better person!'" A pause, "See who your "brother" is, Rodrick? He's not one of us." Arion says as he shoves this into my chest.

Rodrick was about to say something but my vision clouded in red as I tackled Arion to the floor.

I punched and tore and bit whatever I saw. That's what he gets for trying to scare me off! This is what he gets for trying to ruin me! This is what that lowly coward gets for thinking he's better than me!

Soon, I am the center of attention with everyone else standing around us encouraging the fight. But that's all Arion needed, he likes the encouragement. He shoves me into the bar top and I claw at his neck. He tries to punch me and misses by an inch so I grab his arm and pull. He is angry...and so am I.

I hate wasting my energy on something so stupid, something so not worth it. I start to feel this warmth inside me, and it starts spreading and spreading until my finger tips feel like they're on fire.

Arion runs at me, I raise my palm to him and the next thing I know, he's on fire.

I am shocked. (Well, not as shocked as Arion was! Hah!)

Stormy puts out Arion's fire and Lara accompanies him into a back room to make sure he will be okay.

So I stand there, in the center of the ring, with my palms up, feeling just as angry and ready for another fight.

"Who's next?" I ask.

They all look excited, especially Brielle.

'No more of that. Let's go.'

And then Rodrick and I are alone in his private room.

"Rodrick, come on! I want another fight!"

"Well, that isn't what you need. You need to learn how to control yourself. You can't just go around cooking up every person that gets you angry."

"I'm not angry." I try to lie. But he sees through me.

"It doesn't matter. If you walk around cooking up people, they're going to know you have some old vampire blood in you."

I look at my hands, "THIS comes with age?" I ask, "What else?"

He deals me a blow to the back of the head for that.

"Why are you angry? That Arion stole your book?"

"There are private thoughts in there." I growl.

"And a human girl, I suspect." Before I can say anything, defend myself, he continues on, "Its only human, Gabriel. Those emotions will die eventually, you needn't fear."

"When? When will they die? They've caused me nothing but pain."

"I wasn't born with such emotions, I don't really know. Don't let them "cause you pain", that's human also. All emotion is human, and we aren't human. We don't need those."

"But-"

"We serve a higher purpose, Gabriel," His finger is pointing up but then he moves it so it points down, "So start acting like it. Go for a hunt."

I exit his room and recruit everyone except Arion and Lara to go hunting.

It was a very dark and rainy night out. And thanks to Stormy, it got even worse.

Lightning crackled and thunder roared.

We took to the woods, with me in the lead, and searched for our prey. Eventually, we found a family camping in the woods. A mother, a father, and 2 children.

The parents fights were feeble.

And the children cried out for their mommy and daddy.

"Mommy and Daddy couldn't save you. They were to weak." I say to the kids.

"But mommy said she'd always protect us." The little girl says.

"She lied." Stormy laughs.

The girl starts crying and so does her brother.

"No tears." Reaper smiles, "Your the man of the family now. So start acting like it." They all have themselves a good laugh.

"Mommy didn't lie, she was just way too weak against us," I say.

Brielle comes over and takes the little girl from my grasp. I thought she was going to lead her away from all of this, if only I knew. She slowly and painfully sucked the little girl dry as the brother and I watched.

"I want to be just like you!" The boy shouts at me.

"Yeah. I bet you do." I say as I break his neck and take his blood.

I don't want to admit it, but I felt for those kids. I almost couldn't do it, couldn't kill them, but I did.

We bury the bodies and run out of the forest, me at the front of this Creepy band of Corpses, and we never look back.

That family doesn't get a special good bye or a special death, what separates them from all the others?

Nope. Their faces just blend into the wall of all the other faces that I've killed, nameless, ageless, they all die.

We all die somehow, someday...except for those who never die...those who live forever.

Leaving that forest, I felt sadness and regret...

But, hey, "Its only human", right?

-Gabriel


	52. GOODBYE

GOODBYE...

June 10th, 2011

I've grown tired of Rodrick and his followers. Their games are growing old to me, not that I'm bored just that I don't take pleasure in how they do it. One kill after the other, its all torture and all pain. When I killed I would usually always do it quickly except for the few times when I've needed a thrill. A thrill.

The ones I kill don't get a thrill, they get the nightmare of a lifetime, why should I be the only one thrilled while my prey is cowering in fear for longer than necessary?

I've also wondered why Rodrick never hunts with us? In fact, I never see him eat. I asked him about this once, and he replied, "I am no longer amused by it. To me, red is just a color now, no longer does it give me life."

Does this mean I won't always need blood? Will I grow tired of it one day?

Well, until that day comes, I decided I'm going to try and live...torture isn't included. If I want to torture myself, that's one thing, but to torture others to make myself feel better isn't going to work. The first step in fixing myself, is leaving The Seven Deadly Sins and going back home to Kerry and being with the others.

"Gabriel, come play with us!" Brielle shouts from the couch.

I walk over to them and give a sad smile, "After I talk to Rodrick-"

"So talk, young one. Tell me your troubles." He says appearing in his throne.

"Rodrick, you've been so kind to me-"

"Stop. Your leaving, right?"

Brielle jumps up and starts yelling at me that I belong with them...with her. And the others agree.

"Stop it, I don't. I don't belong with you. You are all afraid to live. We've been given a second chance for a reason, and obviously it is to right all the wrongs we committed in our human lives! You kill for fun, not necessity and that isn't okay with me anymore."

"W-where will you go?" Brielle asks. She has her arms wrapped around herself and I realize now that I was a comfort to her.

"He's a pet, darling. He wants to be normal," he says 'normal' with a hint of disgust in his voice, "A domestic vampire if I may."

"I-its not true, is it? Gabriel, are you hiding something from us?" Brielle is shaking.

"Not a something, a someone." Arion states.

Ugh! He is absolutely loving my downfall.

"He is hiding a human lover." Arion snickers.

I want to set him on fire again! Only, I don't want to leave them that way. I still want to be friends with them, I just don't want to live with them.

"Dear Brielle, his loyalties don't lie with us," I put my hand to my neck, and I realize my dog tags are missing, "'loyalties: The Kerry Coven and the Cullen Coven.'" He says reading from them.

"So, your one of them, beautiful one?" He says standing right in front of me.

He holds out my dog tags and says, "Choose. Right now."

I look him dead in the eye, "You don't choose your brothers." And then I grab my dog tags from his hand. They go back around my neck and I wait for what will happen next.

"I guess a line has been drawn." Reaper says breaking the silence.

"It doesn't have to be," I say as I start towards the door.

"You better pray you don't meet us again, otherwise I'll kill you." Arion spits.

I raise my hand and the floor in front of him lights up, ablaze with fire.

"You call me a coward, and pretend that I am the enemy. Well, look at yourselves, no wonder vampires are hunted and killed, its ones like you that get ones like my family killed. You know, I could do the whole world a favor right now and just kill you all, but I won't, because I am not like you. I don't murder."

Rodrick says nothing through all of this.

"But that's just me. And its only human to feel that, right, Rodrick?"

Arion moves to come at me and Brielle to try and stop him.

I open the door and sunlight comes pouring in. Brielle stops short and retreats from it, bringing Arion with her to protect him.

"Who's afraid now?" I look at them cowering in fear of the light, all of them except Rodrick, he remains as still as a statue, "You best get used to the light, and if not then you are definitely in the wrong story." I leave the door open as I walk out and am swallowed by the sunlight.

It bathes me and reminds me that I do, as Rodrick said, have a higher purpose. When I reach the bottom of the hill, I look back at the bar, and I realize that it isn't a scary place, it isn't an escape or way of death...its just a building. And I wonder what I ever saw in it.

"Goodbye, brother." I whisper. Then I am off, running through the country and through towns, completely unnoticed. One thing I notice, is that my skin isn't sparkling. At least, not as much as it used to. I began to think of that as a sign. Of what? I'm not exactly sure. I guess as a new beginning or the start of a better life. We'll see.

The house has finally come into view and I feel something stirring within me, a feeling of happiness and relief. I feel like I'm home.

-Gabriel


	53. PRECIOUS

PRECIOUS...

JUNE 15th, 2011

So it took about a day until Alec and Faine realized I was home. Chelsea and Afton welcomed me back warmly, but when Faine walked through the door, I felt a weight being lifted off my shoulders. She knew I was alive and that I was sorry for treating her rudely all those times, and that's what mattered the most.

She came over and hugged me and for the first time ever, I didn't run from that hug. I'm not saying I gave her a real hug, I'm just saying that I let her hug me. Alec opened up his arms for a hug too, why not since I was on a role? Since I didn't make a huge rush of hugging him, he kind of embraced me...and then pulled me into a head lock (that's a wrestling move for those of you who don't know). I growled a little and he released me. We both laughed and shook hands. We talked a little as they got me up to speed with what I've missed. Apparently, Demetri and Valentina took off on a holiday to London, Lottie left and got a baby named Vera, Bastien is being hunted (it was only a matter of time until that happened), Jordan had a fight with the Cullens and banished them from her and her child.

I held my breath until Faine finally said, "Its a baby girl. Jordan named her Sophia."

I sighed. Jordan must love it, I know I would.

Well, that's all it took. I pretended I was running away again and Faine got nervous. But I peered back around the door frame and said, "Sophia needs a present from her Uncle Gabriel."

With happiness in my heart, I made my way back to Russia. It felt weird being back home after 621 years, but everything looked the same, believe it or not. I wanted to buy the only thing I could think to buy a baby girl, a necklace. I found an antique store and started looking. As soon as I saw It, I knew that was the one. I knew I wanted to watch Sophia growing up wearing that necklace. How could I want that for a child I didn't know? Easy. She was family.

The necklace I chose was from the late 1300s (when I was human), it had a worn iron chain, and it also belonged to my little sister. That's right, Galina wore that same exact necklace every day of her life. It had a sparrow at the end of the chain and the sparrow was holding a rough cut diamond. I started smiling at the memory of it, its a fuzzy memory from my human days but I can't forget it: Galina was turning 10 years old and I wanted to get her something special. Nikolai agreed to help me by raising money with me. We did it all on our own, no help from our parents, and with our own money we bought her that necklace. I remember my 16- year old self walking through her bedroom doors the morning of her birthday, with 21- year old Nikolai. She was still in her nightgown, sitting at her vanity and brushing her soft golden hair, I remeber walking across the marble floor with a real smile of love. She sets down her silver hairbrush and looks at me in the mirror.

"Gavril-" she says.

I kiss her cheek, "С Днем Рождения, Галина." (Happy Birthday, Galina." I whisper in her ear. I pull the jewelry box from behind my back and before she can peek at it, I have it in my hands and am draping it around her neck, finishing by hooking the clasp in the back. She squeals with delight and screams that she loves it. Nikolai gets her to quiet down and then we tell her a story about it.

I get pulled out of the memory and hand the gentleman a stack of money, it counted out to a thousand dollars but I would have payed much more for It. I would have payed the world to hold this little bit of my sister.

I have the necklace in my hand as I race back home and prepare to give it to little Sophia. I already know that I will tell her the same story that I told Galina, and I know that I will feel just as happy giving it to Sophia as I did giving it to my sister.

I came back to Ireland and was soon facing Jordan's finished home. I closed the distance at a walking pace and admired the rest of the work they had done on it. If this were just a visit I would be admiring the inside as well, but this is so I can see Sophia. I knock three times on the door and Jordan has it open in 4 seconds. She is holding a duster and smells like baby powder, "Your back!" She yells. She pulls me into a hug and I wrap my arms around her as well.

When she pulls away, she eyes me suspiciously, probably wondering who I am and what I'd done with 'the real' Gabriel.

"Is Josh home as well?" I ask as I step inside.

"No, he's working. Did you need him for something?" She asks walking towards the kitchen.

"No, no. I, uh, actually came to see Sophia."

Jordan is taken aback, "oh! Well, uh, yeah! Sure! She's going to wake up from her nap any second now and I was goona make her a bottle." I nod and watch her prepare the odd milk. Strangely enough, that milk that babies drink is horribly disgusting and absolutely nothing like the milk that humans drink! ...don't ask how I know that.

Anyway, just as Jordan is done making the bottle Sophia starts crying.

"Right on cue." She laughs.

I smile awkwardly and follow Jordan upstairs to the baby's room. The pink walls glow with the soft afternoon light coming through the window and Sophia's cries faded into little gurgling sounds. Jordan rushed to her baby but I took my time taking in the atmosphere. The smell of a baby, the innocent pictures and drawings on the wall, diapers stacked neatly under a changing table, and toys. So many toys.

First, her name in simple letters over the crib, then blocks and pacifiers, stuffed teddy bears and dolls. About 3 dozen fairy tale books lined the 2 shelves and then, a rocking horse alone in the corner. A rocking horse. Its a wood one with painted eyes and strands of wool hair. I stare curiously at the odd creature and find myself thinking of my childhood:

My brothers, sister and I grew up with one just like it. As small children we all fought to play on it. And boy, did I love that toy or what! It captivated me for hours on end and made me feel like a cowboy. As soon as I got bigger, I wanted a real horse though. I really wanted to feel the wind in my hair and see the country side rush by. My father bought me to the market to purchase a horse. My brothers were there as well. They all encouraged me to get pure breeds or the white one. Nikolai said nothing but gazed at me.

"'у этого есть плохие кости, что никто не будет жить в течение трех лет больше, и, что имеет плохие зубы.'" (this one has bad bones, that one won't live for three years more, and that one has bad teeth.) I said matter of factly.

It got better when I saw three men trying to pull a horse out of the stable and into a coral. Let me tell you, that horse was big, it was powerful, and it was mean. Strong enough to pull all three of those men, and mean enough to run up to the fence and chase onlookers away. I was enchanted with that horse and before my family could stop me, I was approaching it! I climbed onto the fence post and when it ran by, I grabbed onto its neck. Somehow I was able to get my leg over its broad back, the horse by that time realized it had picked up a passenger. It stopped and all became eerily still. My father in the distance was yelling at the vendors to do something. That horse moved its head to the side and I stared deep into its eye, like he was pulling me in trying to distract me. All the sudden it bucked, and reared and galloped, it threw itself against the post, anything to get me off. But I clung tight to the horses mane and I squeezed my legs tight, feeling the powerful muscles below his skin. He stopped again and this time, I slid off and stood in front of him.

We both were breathing deep from the adrenaline and energy.

This time, the horse appeared to be staring into my eyes, and almost like he knew there was a power, a dark desire, within me, he bowed his head and let me mount him. I did so and smiled at my father. Nikolai beamed at me.

"'Английское определение,'" (Is this your horse then?) He asked me.

"'это'" (It is) I replied happily.

My father paid the man and then smiled proudly, "'он не красивый вид на спине, что жеребец. Коллектор мелких вещей вашего брата будет.'" (Doesn't he look handsome on the back of that stallion? A collector of fine things your brother will be!)

I grinned from ear to ear and I rode my stallion bare back all the way home. I got to feel the wind in my hair, the sun on my cheeks, and see the country rush by for years after that day. That horse never grew weaker or more tame...and neither did I.

I pull my gaze from the rocking horse and turn to look at Jordan who is sitting in a rocking chair feeding Sophia. I pull a chair from the other corner and sit right across from them. The little girl is sucking hungrily at the bottle and Jordan is smiling at her.

Look at how small her hands are! And her tiny eyes and chubby legs! Its hard to believe we were all once that size.

"So how have you been? WHERE have you been?" Jordan asks.

I run my hand through my hair and start telling her all about Rodrick and Stormy, Reaper, Lara, Arion...and Brielle.

I didn't say this then, to Jordan or anyone else, but I've been thinking about it: Brielle seems so lost there. She fits in fine but she also doesn't. She wants more than she has but doesn't exactly know how to get it. For some reason, I don't think she knows that she can be out in the daylight. Rodrick made them all, is he hiding that from all of them? I don't want to make Rodrick the bad guy, I felt closer to him than the others, but there is always a hint of doubt in everything.

Jordan nodded and added her opinion here and there.

"Sounds like you've had fun." She says.

I shake my head, "No. I got bored..." She is kind of shocked after the gruesome Stories I told her, "...bored of being the bad guy. A little kid told me that he wanted to be just like me before I killed him. A little kid who wants to kill people, could you imagine? I don't understand that he could want to be me when I don't want to be me."

Jordan put her hand on top of mine. She had no answer, nothing to make me feel better, but all humans need is contact. A hand on a shoulder, a hand holding yours, just to let you know that they want to help you.

"So, tell me what has happened while I was gone."

Jordan dives into the story of finishing the house, and Jez arriving so Jordan could look after her at the end of the pregnancy. What got Jordan really excited about was the baby shower and all the precious gifts and how the Cullens hid in Sophia's closet to surprise her. Jordan finished her story on a sad note, the one where Jez dies.

"People die all the time and usually for really crappy reasons. But what really matters, especially to them, is that you changed their life while it lasted. If you made Jez happy and let her know how much she meant to you, then you shouldn't have any regrets about your time with her." I said. That was my way of trying to make her feel better, I don't know if it worked.

Sophia turned her pretty blue eyes to me and blinked once. Maybe she understood what I said. I couldn't help myself, I slowly reached out my hand and touched her tiny brown curls. She didn't cry, didn't fuss, she just looked into me and I felt like she was checking to see if I was worthy to touch her.

"Speaking of Jez's death," Jordan says getting up, "she gave me a note before she died and well, since your a master of dark things," I chuckled at her open mindedness, " I thought you could tell me what you think?"

I agreed and followed her back into the kitchen. First she left Sophia in a play pen with a couple toys in the living room, then she showed me the note.

"Well? What do you think?" She was nervous.

" I haven't the slightest idea what she is saying Sophia is-er, will be- it could be so many different things. I've seen a great deal of evil creatures, even some that we didn't know could exist!" Jordan didn't look much more at ease, if anything she seemed jumpier. Sure! Just cause the blood thirsty assassin doesn't know!

"The man that's after her is what you should worry about. He sounds ten times worse than Sophia."

Jordan looked really scared again.

I stopped with the scary parts, "Hey, we're going to protect her. Nothing will hurt her, I promise. And I'll ask around about all this."

"There was this too," Jordan pulls out her laptop and shows me the tape of baby Sophia, "I really wanted a distraction. Look what happens."

Sophia opens her eyes and let's out this shrill cry, it kind of broke my heart.

"Well, this tells me that Sophia is special in more than one way."

"I think she can read minds."

I look around the wall and Sophia has her eyes wide open, looking directly at me. It kind of creeped me out a little so I look back at Jordan. The phone starts ringing and Jordan dashes upstairs to get it.

I look back at Sophia who is gurgling, i walk into the living room where she is laying. I crouch down to tickle her belly, "Well, only two weeks old and already causing a whole bunch of trouble." She smiles her toothless smile.

I listen for Jordan but she is still on the phone, "I guess your wondering where your present from Uncle Gabriel is, huh? I hope you like it," I open my hand and dangle the necklace above her.

Sophia squeals in delight and watches the rainbows the diamond makes.

"There is a story to it, kiddo." I lower my voice to that of a story teller, "Once upon a time, in the time of kings and queens, knights and dragons, there was a beautiful princess with long wavy brown hair and kind, beautiful blue eyes." Sophia blinks hers and I laugh, "this princess was so beautiful and loved by all her people. She could have anything she wanted, but chose only to have what she needed. A modest girl she was, when told she was gorgeous, she replied that she was just as pretty as any other girl. When told how smart she was, she replied that there were things her people taught her every day that she did not know. Anyway, so the princess grew up," I pull a porcelain doll from behind my back. It has Sophia's eyes and hair color, "but her family was different from other families. They sparkled in the light and were stronger than others. The princess was afraid of their differences and decided to run away. While she was gone, each day her family and friends would cry for her. The princess felt those cries of sadness and cried herself. After a couple of months, she noticed that a sparrow had been following her. In fact, it was the same sparrow that used to sing to her outside her room at the castle. One day, when she wasn't sure where to go, she decided to follow that sparrow hoping it would lead her to where she belonged. Many days later, she was walking up an dirt road and into a garden. She started crying and realized it was because she was home again. She rushed to find her parents and family. They greeted her with open arms and tears of joy.

'Where did you get that beautiful necklace?' Her mother asked. Well, the princess hadn't been wearing a necklace so she looked down at it. The sparrow that had led her home was now an iron carving on a chain and it was holding a diamond to match the skin of her family."

Sophia smiled at my story. And, you can guess that this story wasn't the same as I told Galina. But it seemed better suited for this case.

"Sophia, what I'm trying to say is this. Your going to grow up and want to discover things on your own. Your going to blossom into a beautiful young lady and feel the need to go away for a while. You will do that, but you'll always have us with you. And that sparrow will lead you home no matter where you are and no matter what happens."

My voice must have lulled Sophia into sleep.

I look up and Jordan is leaning against the wall looking at me with admiration.

"The end, my beautiful niece. Your story is just beginning." I kiss her forehead and join Jordan in the kitchen.

-Gabriel


	54. GHOSTS

GHOSTS...

June 19th, 2011

I still can't get over how exciting and wonderful it is to have a baby here! Sophia is a real cutie and she'll be perfect here. Anyway, we got a call from Valentina and Demetri asking how everyone was and of course, Faine told them I was back. So they asked to speak with me. I took the odd device, the cell phone, from Faine.

"Hello?"

"Gabriel!" They both shouted.

We talked a little bit and then Valentina asked if I would come visit them?

"London is a lovely place! I bet you would enjoy it! Please come?" She asked.

So I agreed, I said I would get on the next flight out. This isn't really a social call, I thought I could pick up a few things about Sophia while I was there too.

I hung up and grabbed my duster.

"I'm off to London for a little bit. Be back when I decide to come back."

They laughed at my stiffness and I ran all the way to the airport. What great timing I have! The flight was just about to leave when I stepped on. With only minimal difficulty, I was able to locate my seat. Unfortunately, I was stuck sitting next to someone. He was, I'm guessing, around 24, with shaggy brown hair and stubble on his face. He was dressed...rather oddly...tight jeans stained a magenta color, a black button up shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his elbow and a bright purple tie loose around his neck.

"My name is Rhoan. And you are?" He held out his hand to me.

"Gabriel," I said cautiously while taking his hand.

"A pleasure to meet you." We were up in the air now and the stewardesses were coming down the aisle, "Do you drink, Gabriel?" He asks.

Without meaning to, I reply instantly, "Yes."

"Oh good." Rhoan says with a smile.

He orders us something that looks bright and fruity.

"What is it?" I ask him.

"My own creation. You can't hardly tell there is alcohol in there until its too late. So don't drink to many." He says.

I taste the odd looking beverage, the fruit doesn't taste right (but that's because I'm a vampire) but the alcohol is definitely there. I taste that.

"So what is bringing you to London?" Rhoan asks.

Does he not leave people alone?

"Visiting -er- friends. And, uh, research."

That gets him excited, "Ooo! Research on what?"

He isn't curious in the scientist kind of way, just curious in the bored kind of way.

"Folk tales. Legends. But, um, why do you care?"

He finished the rest of his drink, "I dunno. I just do. What kind of legends are you looking for?" All the sudden, he seems younger and more mischievous than a few minutes ago.

"How old are you?" I ask rather rudely.

He looks bored as hell, "Of all questions to ask, you ask that one?"

"That's the one I need answered."

He groans a bit which, again, makes me wonder his age, "Twenty four."

"That's a lie."

"Twenty one?"

"Keep going, Rhoan."

"Seventeen?" He started laughing, "No. Seriously I'm twenty three, but everyone thinks I'm seventeen a) because I look like it and b) because I act like it."

He did look seventeen, and acted like seven, but there was something in him that seemed much older.

We sat in silence for a while, which was nice, Rhoan had this odd voice. It was fine and all but sometimes sounded like he was whining even when he wasn't.

Out of the corner of my eye, something moved. I looked out the small window but saw nothing. And then I saw it again, a blur against the night sky, had me looking every where. But the object didn't want to be seen until it was ready to show itself. What I was seeing appeared suddenly in the window beside me, what I saw made me jump. It was Jane, no doubt about that, but it was an old rotting corpse version which terrified me. Rhoan sensed my discomfort.

"What's your trouble? Does it spook you looking out these damn windows? Spooks me too." He reaches over me and shuts the shade.

"There. Trouble's gone."

But that didn't make me feel better.

"Still shaken? Here, have another." He says forcing a drink into my hand.

I accept it and wonder why he even cares so much?

"Your still spooked, mate. Here let me help." He grabs my free hand and kind of holds it for a while.

"Erm- what are you doing?" I was quite uncomfortable with this.

Was Rhoan gay?

"Shhh! Don't speak." He snapped.

Oh my, he definitely is gay.

"Shut up, I am not-"

"How did you know what I was thinking?" I yanked my hand away from him.

"Oh, uh, are you sure you didn't say that out loud?"

"Yes," I replied immediately.

"Well, I'm not gay. I was reading your palm. I'm kind of a psychic." He whispered.

Okay, this kid was playing with me. Psychics? What's next? Ghosts and goblins? Hah! As if!

"You seem pretty cool with it, are you all right?" I'm a vampire, why do I care if you're a psychic? More like psycho!

"I'm fine. Still scared from the-uh- ghost."

Th woman behind us turned around and her face became that of my dead wife's. I jumped again and started shaking.

Dimly, I was aware of Rhoan's voice, "Yeah, he's just a bit upset. Poor boy lost his granny and all this morning. We'll stop with the scaring of your kids now."

I close my eyes.

I count to 10.

And open them.

The entire plane is filled with zombies and rotting corpses. Even the smell begins to fill my nose.

I keep blinking, trying to scare away the horrifying image. What was even more horrifying was that these were all people I've killed, a part of me recognized that.

"Do you see the dead people too?" I asked Rhoan.

Now it was his turn to look at me like I had 5 heads, "I said I was psychic, not insane! Should you get your head checked, mate?"

I buried my face in my hands and stayed like that until we landed. I sat and relaxed as everyone rushed to get their bags and get off the plane.

The plane was almost empty before I realized Rhoan was still sitting next to me. With his hands clasped in his lap and looking straight ahead.

"Oh, I didn't notice you still sitting here. I'm sorry."

"I have that affect on people. I don't mind."

We sit in silence for a while longer, me waiting for him to say something and him...well, who knew what he was going to do next?

"I hope you enjoy your trip in London. Stay off the back streets, that's where the werewolves like to play."

I look up at him but he isn't there. Completely gone. Did I imagine him too? Is he one of my ghosts as well?


	55. GHOSTS: PART 2

GHOSTS...PART 2

June 19th, 2011

"I'm here."

Demtri rattled off an address and I hung up the phone. I left the pay phone in the empty town and headed east, towards the country. The house was located just outside of the bustling streets and bright lights of the city. Approaching the house, I smelt not only Demetri's and Valentina's scents but others as well. So I put myself on guard for any threat and approached the large house. Valentina had the door open and a hug for me as she invited me inside. Demetri was in the kitchen with another vampire.

"Gabriel, this is Max. Max, Gabriel." He said nicely.

I had a stare down with this Max as he looked quizzical at me.

"He's the one we told you about." Valentina said to break the silence.

Max looked like he finally understood.

"You better not be telling anybody about me, Valentina." I warned.

Demetri offered me some blood.

"I'd rather die than drink that stuff. Let's go into London tonight, we can party and, uh, feast."

"We'll see," which sounded more like a no, "so what have you been doing?"

I proceeded to tell them about Rodrick and the bar and of Brielle, and of their strange ways. I hadn't mentioned the part about Rodrick being the oldest vampire still out there, they didn't need to know that.

"So you've had quite an adventure." Max said.

"That's no adventure, that's my life everyday. I was rather bored actually." Just like Jordan was, he was shocked at my boredom of it all.

"How was the flight?" Demetri asked.

I looked at him for a minute. Such human questions they were asking, questions that had no purpose. I finally answered him though, "As horrific as could be. Humans are just horrible company."

I heard this banging coming from upstairs. No one else moved so I thought I was imagining one of my ghosts again. But I heard it again. "You heard that to...right?" I asked. They would either think I was crazy, or I wouldn't actually be crazy. Thank God, they all nodded!

"What do you have up there?" I questioned.

Nobody answered.

"Listen, either you answer me or I go up and find out for myself!" I moved towards the stairs.

"Gabriel! Wait!" Valentina caught my arm and I growled at her, "Its Tristan."

I laughed outright in her face, it was the greatest joke ever! As if Tristan could be alive! I sent him to Hell for gods sake!

Valentina proceeded to tell me about Tristan and Max being angels.

"I figured." I scoff.

"You know of us?" Max asks, still disapproving of my earlier laughter.

"Bits and pieces. Correct me if I'm wrong, which I never am, you two were supposed to be angels when you died but instead got turned into big bad vampires and will rot in Hell for eternity when you eventually die. Correct?"

Max nodded.

The screaming gets louder and louder. I push away from the wall and towards the stairs, but Max blocks my path.

"Move." I demand.

He stares at me. What the hell is his problem? I haven't even done anything...yet!

"Manners!" Valentina shrieks.

"Of course, Move now or I will rip your body apart, watch it heal itself and then rip it apart again until I get bored! Do NOT think you are superior to me just because you are a freakin angel! You can move yourself or I can throw you across the room!" I shouted.

This guy really pissed me off.

"No, no! I meant 'please'!"

The word felt like acid on my tongue, "Please," I spat.

Max stepped back a little so I shoved his shoulder as I walked past. The noise got louder and louder as we came closer to the room. Finally, I was staring at him.

At Tristan.

First I bared my teeth and let out a growl. Slowly, I backed away.

It was Tristan alright, no mistaking that. But was I imagining him too? I killed him, so I should be. But he seems so real, and so...nervous.

"Gabriel, you remember Tristan."

"Oh my god! He's a zombie! Stand back, I'll kill him." Fire came into my palm and I aimed at his chest.

Tristan started screaming, Valentina jumped in front of him, and this girl appeared out of nowhere.

"Oh my god! You can do it too!" She shrieked. She held up her hand and made a small flame.

I kind of ignored her for a second, my attention was on zombie-Tristan.

"Valentina, move. I'll be done in a second." The fire was getting hotter, as was the need to cleanse this world of Tristan.

Valentina turned to calm Tristan down and Demitri tried to talk sense to me.

"Hi! I'm Anastacia, Demetri's sister. And you are?"

I just couldn't stop thinking of how and why Tristan was back. Demetri thought it made sense but it doesn't. It can't! I killed him, twisted his neck off! Dead people don't just die and then start walking around again four months later! They just don't do that!

"I thought I killed you." I said as a statement rather than a question.

Tristan was shaking.

"Its okay, Tristan, Gabriel isn't going to hurt you." Valentina soothed.

"Not unless I need to." I muttered.

Tristan heard it though.

"Valentina, what is this? Is this why you brought me here?" I really was fed up with it all, especially Tristan screaming like a child.

She sighed, "Yes. Tristan was having trouble adjusting-"

"Goodbye. Goodbye all. Val, send me a post card. Max, I don't know if it was a pleasure meeting you. Anastacia, keep lighting fires." I walked out of the house. Valentina was yelling after me and finally she caught up.

"All he wants is closure. To know not everybody is going to cheat on him and kill him. He wants to forgive you so you both can move on." She pleaded.

"Oh, I've already moved on. I've moved on from him, from Jane. I don't care about any of that anymore, I killed him, end of story."

Before I could listen to any more of Valentina's ramblings, I lit a ring of fire and closed myself in the middle. Valentina hopped away from the rising flames and stared in defeat.

I knew better, as she sulked off, she would try something else.

I sat on the grass and eventually, that something happened. Through the tall flames I could see a figure sauntering my way. When it reached my wall of flames, she walked through, the flames not even touching her. It was Anastacia.

"We all have the ability to do it, only a few of us actually know that though." She says sitting next to me.

"Look, nothing you say is going to get me back into that house with that cry baby. I knew Valentina wouldn't give up, but sending you? No. You can march your fiery little self out of this fire and back into the house."

"Valentina didn't send me. I came out here because I thought it would be cool to talk with someone who actually has the fire ability."

I kind of ignored her and continued my rant, "What does she want me to do? Sit there and hold his hand? If I got back from Hell on my own then so can he. I didn't get help from anybody and look, I turned out just fine!"

"Gabriel-"

"And that's another thing! People are always-"

"GABRIEL!" She shouted.

I stopped, and stared, I didn't think such a loud voice could come from something so small and cute.

"You need to let it go. People make mistakes all the time, just let it go. How come you ignore the one person here who wants to talk to you about something besides Hell?"

I think about it. She's right. I wouldn't talk to any of them about Tristan and now that there is somebody who wants to talk about anything else, all I say is about Tristan.

"Your right. Fine. Is fire your power?"

"Nope but Max told me that everyone has the ability to use it."

"Ugh, Max!" I said in a disgusted tone, "What a stuffed shirt." Anastacia giggled a little, "He needs to loosen up and take a break from his books."

"Well, he means well in doing what he does. And Tristan being like him-"

"Oh yeah, he is." Tristan is an angel too. That's something I didn't really expect. Its something that never even crossed my mind. Not like an angelic vampire was something you saw everyday, but-

"How about you?" Anastacia interrupts, "Is fire your power?"

"Shape shifting. I uh, acquired, some ancient vampire blood and this is what I got from it."

She seemed very intrigued by it and at this point, I was calming down talking to her. My barrier disappeared and I followed her back to the house. She led me to a living room and we sat down. I showed her my flame and she showed me hers. She explained some tricks she knew and even told me that she would teach me how to not be affected by fire before I left for home. We laughed some, and a couple of times, our hands touched.

When that happened, I heard a low growl from the other room. It was Max, of course, so I had to play it up. Saying sweet things to her and moving closer, small stuff like that really irked him.

I really enjoyed Anastacia's company, we talked about everything except Tristan, she even told me more about ancient vampires and their legends.

"So you can do that whenever you want? Mine sort of just happens when I get really angry."

"Well, that's, oh let's see...ALL THE TIME!" She joked. We laughed at it.

I picked up her hand and kissed it.

"What's that for?"

"Well, I realized that I never properly greeted you. I ignored you at first and then you just dove right into a conversation. So, its nice to meet you, Anastacia."

She gave a bright smile then.

It felt like that moment was going to last, but no nice moments do. Tristan started screaming again and I got really annoyed. Before I had time to think I was out of my seat, running up the stairs and barging into his room. What a sight I must have been! He started screaming more. I crossed the room in 2 steps and clamped my hand over his mouth.

"There is a nicer, more quiet, way to get attention! If you need something then get your ass up off the floor and go get it! These people don't serve you!" I yelled.

It felt great yelling at Tristan, especially since he stopped screaming.

"Speak. What do you want?" I ask him.

"Blood?" He replied.

There. Progress.

"Okay, there is a kitchen downstairs with blood and a microwave. Unfortunately, they only have the crappy kind but you don't care anyway."

I go to leave the room but the door is locked and I can't get it open.

"Dammit, Valentina! Open this door NOW!" I warn.

"Its not Valentina," came Demetri's and Max's voice.

"I will kill you if you don't open this door!"

I could tell by the dramatic pause that Max knew I was being serious, Demetri just gave a nervous laugh.

"Well, Tristan, it looks we're stuck in here together." I said turning towards him.

It was obvious that he didn't very much like the idea of that.

"Oh come on! I'm not going to kill you again...right now." I was tired of him, I really was.

"Look, what do you want from me?" I ask sitting across from him, "Do you want me to say that I'm sorry for killing you? Well I can't. I'm not. I did what I had to do to protect my family. And at that time, you just happened to be on the wrong side, and you- well- you just needed to die."

He stared at me with a grand realization and I stared back with boredom.

"Thank you," he says finally.

"What for? I didn't apologize!"

He reaches for my hand, what is with everyone trying to grab my hand? Its weird!

"I understand why you did it. Honestly, I would have done the same to you."

"Well, you could try. But I don't go down easily, its actually really hard to kill me." We both laughed a little.

"So, uh, since none of them would understand, do you want to talk about Hell?"

It took a little more coaxing, but eventually we did end up discussing our adventures there. I call it an adventure, he calls it a nightmare, I have no problem discussing it, he gets freaked out again.

After all the tears, and all the questions, I think my therapy really helped him. My focus was broken when I heard the door being unlocked. I was up and out the door before they would have time to close it again. I found Valentina in the kitchen.

"That was very nice, Gabriel." And she meant it, I could tell. I know that I'm not the nicest person to talk to, but I really do understand things.

"Yeah, well, he needed to shut up. I'm going out."

"Why don't you take him with you?" She asks.

"You're pushing your luck, Val." I wink and leave the house.

They probably thought I was going hunting, that isn't all true. I really wanted to check out the library. They have this really big one there, and I'm hoping it has a good mythology section. I need to learn more about my niece.

I get there and its locked, I forgot how late it was. That lock doesn't last a second longer, I break it and am inside. The air is musty and dry from all the millions of books being kept safe there. A library. I haven't seen one of these since...since...no I guess I never saw one. I start looking around and realize that I have absolutely no idea where to go or what exactly I am looking for. I start walking up and down all the aisles when I notice an eery blue gaze in the otherwise dark building and hear someone close by. Me being a creature of the night, well, I don't need to be afraid of anything, so I edged towards the sound.

It all the sudden stopped, I didn't hear it any longer and wondered if it knew of my presence as I knew of its. I rounded a stack of books, my palm up ready to set fires, and came face to face with the guy from the plane. Quickly, I dropped my hand and he shoved something into his pocket. We both breathed a sigh of relief.

"Oh, Rhoan. What are you doing here?" I ask, hoping he's stupid enough to not ask me the same.

"Well, I'm an archaeologist, I'm doing some research. And you? I have a key, but how did you get in here?"

Damn. "You left the door open and I need to do some research too."

He accepted my answer, "On what? Perhaps I could help."

I described to him what I was looking for; mythology and mind reading.

"Ah, I'm looking at mythology too. I was heading upstairs to look at some slides, care to join?"

I nodded and followed him up the stairs.

He set up a projector and started flipping through old articles and witnesses of such things. When that left us just as empty handed, we resorted to books. The big, heavy kind.

"I'm going in to get a book on fantasy creatures." I announced.

Rhoan hardly looked up from his book, poor kid, he must be exhausted. Into the shelves I went, looking all over for my book. And I found what was left of it, an empty spot on an otherwise dusty shelf. Someone had taken it recently. I searched again, but it wasn't even misplaced! It was simply gone. Damn, that was probably the book I needed, too.

I left and went back to where Rhoan was still studying.

"The book I need is missing."

"Well, here," he throws one at me, "Take another. There are a thousand others."

I accept this new book but still can't shake the feeling that what I needed to know is in the missing one.

Its after 3AM now. The library is just as creepy as it was when I entered, if not creepier.

"Want to call it a night?" I ask.

"No. Are you kidding me? Its still young!" He pauses, "Did you want to retire for the evening?"

I was about to answer when this howl echoed from somewhere in the city. Rhoan heard it to. It could have easily been a dog, but something in me said it was a werewolf or shape shifter.

"I told you the werewolves like to roam the streets of london." Rhoan warns.

I nod my head, "You are absolutely right, we should go home then."

He laughed a bit, "Don't tell me you actually believe that stuff?"

There is a long pause between us, and then the creature howls again, "With all my heart."

-Gabriel


	56. THE ARCHAEOLOGIST

THE ARCHAEOLOGIST...

June 22nd, 2011

I am back home now. Going back a few nights though, Rhoan and I walked a bit after leaving the library and then said goodbye. Which left me free to run back to Valentina's house and visit for a bit. Tristan was out of his room and sitting in the living room with Max and Anastacia. It really was good to see him out...and not screaming. I stayed for another day and then said my goodbyes. Nothing fantastic happened on the plane ride home, nothing as bad as the first time anyway. I did see a couple ghosts but these ones obviously weren't out to torture me.

It felt great to be home again, well, I was home alone. Sure there was Jordan not far away at her house but Alec and Faine were off with the Cullens doing...something. I could have gone and visited my niece, it would have been the nice thing to do, but I didn't want to let Jordan down with not having any new information.

I decided that I might as well suck it up and visit my beautiful niece. One knock on the door and Jordan was standing there.

"Oh, I'm glad your back! Good trip?" She asked as I came inside.

"Mmmmm not really." I told her about Tristan and then about my quest for information, "The one book I wanted was missing, and I think it held the key to Sophia."

"Well I just found out that Sophia is a witch and that her father wants to kill her-"

"Josh? Well, I knew Josh could be grumpy but I didn't think he would want to kill her!" I joke. Jordan lightly shoves my shoulder.

"Not that father, her biological father."

"Oh, eww. But hey, you seem to be taking it well, Sophia being a witch and all."

"Yeah, well, I kind of don't know exactly what to do. Jez described this darkness inside Sophia and her father and I really don't like that."

"My niece could never be dark." I say smiling as I sit on the floor next to her. She giggles and smiles.

"You know, you visit with her and when she falls asleep I'll talk to you."

Jordan leaves me alone muttering something about coming in second to the baby.

"That's right. Nobody cares what you're worrying about. Its all about the baby." I laugh.

I tickle Sophia's chubby legs and play with her stuffed animals. And I help her fall asleep with a fairytale that I grew up with, I guess that's goona be my thing; telling stories.

Sophia had just fallen asleep when I started to feel this pounding in my head, right behind my temples. It wasn't like I was hearing a sound, not even like hearing a victim's heartbeat, it was just this terrible pressure. I stood up and went to find Jordan, it was getting worse and worse!

I find her washing dishes in the kitchen and decide that standing isn't really okay. I pull out a chair and sit down.

"Gabriel?"

"Shhh. Sound bad. Quiet good." It really hurt even more when there was noise. Even the constant sound of water from the faucet became too loud.

The room started to blur in front of my eyes and then there was this crystal clear image in front of me. It was Rhoan's ghost.

"I am so sorry that I had to leave you like this. We had wonderful times together and I will never forget them. I want you to move on with your life, but please know that I love you." He said before disappearing.

I closed my eyes, that might have been one of the freakiest things ever, and I have seen A LOT of freaky things in my life time! And did he really just say that he loves me? Why me? I'd only known him for a day! God, this brings back the 'is he gay' question. Why do I attract the oddest people?

The pressure in my head slowly went away, it must have showed on my face because Jordan was talking again, "What happened? Are you alright?"

"I'm fine. I saw a ghost...of this kid I met on the plane to London. Apparently he died and he loves me."

Jordan wasn't expecting that, hell, I wasn't expecting that! She looked kind of...shocked.

I was fully recovered, no head ache now. Jordan's cell phone beeped so she went to check it. In the second that she was gone, I had a feeling that things were going to change, I didn't know how or why...then.

"Uh...its for you." She says surprised. I grab the small device from her and read the tiny screen:

FROM: UNKNOWN

Meet me at le Cafe. Now.

R

I deleted the message and handed Jordan back her phone. R. Rodrick.

"I have to go." I was up and out of my chair.

"Wait. Sophia and I will come to."

"No!" I practically screamed.

If Rodrick knew Jordan's number and that I was with her, then he knew about the rest of my family. He was close enough to sense who I was with, to close. Especially too close to Sophia.

"Take Sophia to the main house, you shouldn't be alone. I'm going to go sort this out, I'll be back as soon as possible."

Jordan nodded. I waited for her to grab Sophia's baby bag and of course Sophia. Then I ran with her to the main house just to make sure she got there safe. Rodrick wanted to meet in town, it seemed a bit odd of a place for Rodrick but I wasn't in a position to ask questions.

The sun was out, dangerous for us vampires, we could risk exposure and the humans were busy bustling around. I was waiting outside the cafe, looking for Rodrick but instead I got a dead person.

"Hello! You, sir!" A voice called. I turned around and there was Rhoan sitting at a small table.

He waved me over, I came by quicker than I should have.

"What the hell are you doing alive?" I whisper loudly as I sit across from him.

"Well, aren't we all? I never died, what are you on about?" He asks.

I put my head on the table, "I saw your ghost. You told me you died and that we shared great moments and you love me." I think that headache was coming back.

"Oh, wow. I'm so sorry. I sent the wrong message to the wrong person. I don't fancy you, I'm straight as a pencil."

"Whoah, whoah. What do you mean you 'sent the wrong message to the wrong person'?"

"Come on, man, you knew something wasn't right about me same as I know you aren't mortal."

I was on edge now, who is this guy? What does he know?

He pulls a book out of his bag, "Still looking for this?"

It was the missing book from the library in London.

"Wh-but-how?" I started flipping through the pages.

"How about you order a drink and we talk about this?" I agreed and ended up with coffee.

I finished the book quickly, a few useful things but nothing grand.

"This is the book you need," Rhoan pulls out a book no bigger than his palm.

I was about to say that I need a magnifying glass to read that when Rhoan passed his free hand over it and it became infinitely larger.

"How?" Was all I could manage.

I reached for the large book but Rhoan snatched it from my grasp.

"This holds all the secrets of our world, all of the myth and legend which is real."

I didn't have to ask if he was telling the truth, I felt that he was.

"You said you were an archaeologist! You lied to me." Not like I was goona cry about that or anything.

"No, that's not a lie. I work for the secret Order of the A.R.C.S. Archiving Real Creatures Secretly. Arcs. Hence I am an ARChaeologist."

This strange logic did make sense. But I still wanted to know why he was following me and how he got Jordan's number.

"Well, what does your secret Order do?"

"We're an ancient group that has been observing the supernatural world for a very long time. We never harm anything or anyone unless it becomes necessary. Our job is to learn all we can about your world and to catalog all the creatures in it, we also try to preserve the races."

This had a thought forming in my mind. If Rhoan knew all about demons and vampires, then would he know its weaknesses?

"Rhoan, how did you know the phone number of the person I was with?"

He looked at me like I was stupid, "Anybody that knows how to use technology could do it...and it doesn't hurt that I have special powers-"

"Powers?" Again, I received that 'are you stupid?' look.

"I can see people's auras. For instance, I knew where you were because of your aura."

"What does it look like?" This really wasn't my area of expertise. And if you had asked me about this 621 years ago, I would have said it was a scam.

"A deep purple with spider webs of black. But something in that house must have made you happy because I saw sparks of yellow."

He was talking about Sophia, I knew it.

"What do you want?" I finally said rather rudely.

"I'm not after you. I'm after what's in that house."

The hair on my neck stood up.

"You said you don't harm people."

"I don't. But whatever is in that house is very dangerous. For you, for itself. Its aura was...black! Its dark. Very dark." He warned.

Just like Jordan said, there is a darkness inside Sophia.

"That dark thing happens to be my niece."

He was about to apologize for what he had said but I continued on, "We recently found out that she is a witch and her father was a very powerful demon, of what kind we don't know."

It was as if everything fell into place, Rhoan had a look of understanding and began flipping through the book. The important book.

Finally he stopped and turned the book for me to see. The writing was small with yellowed pages. Some of the words were even in Latin, this thing looked damn old. From across the table Rhoan pointed to a line across the top of the page:

Incubus- Cerca 2400 BC

Male demon that takes the form of a human and impregnates women. The child of such incidents will usually become that of its father, or a succubus (female demon). Such demons are usually created within the dreams of the one being assaulted. Incubi are the sons of the devil.

Underneath this small description was a drawing, an scary drawing, of what the demon form of an Incubus looks like.

The next two pages were serious accounts of Incubi attacks.

"So...you think my niece is an female demon?" This didn't make much sense to me.

"No, no. I think she's part demon-" He tried to explain, "Look, can I just speak to the mother? All I want to do is help."

At the point, I would have definitely said yes! It would be very useful if Jordan and I could get a look at that book, maybe we'd learn more about Sophia.

I agree to let Rhoan come back to the house and ask to borrow his phone. I send a text message to Jordan:

Go back to your house. I'm bringing help. Do whatever you need to make yourself comfortable, we have big news.

Gab

Since Rhoan was only human we had to take a taxi up to the house, which, I made him pay for. We walked up the steps to Jordan's front door and knocked. She came without the baby.

"Gabriel, what's going on?"

I would have introduced Rhoan, but he introduced himself.

"-would you mind if I came in a spoke with you?" He finished.

Jordan looked at me and I nodded. "Special powers" or not, I had a feeling that Jordan and I could definitely over power him if he wanted to harm Sophia.

We walked into the kitchen, far away from Sophia, and sat down. Rhoan didn't waste any time, he dove right into the story.

"Your daughter is part witch, but that isn't all. The darkness inside her makes the other part demon." He stated bluntly.

I was still processing and Jordan was just having a hard time grasping all of this.

"A-a demon?"

Rhoan pulled out the book and made it big again-

"Wait. Who are you? How do you know this?" She asked.

He gave her his whole speech on being part of the Secret Order of the Arcs. Then he opened the book back to the Incubus page and showed her.

"That's your daughters father." He said.

"The devils son?"

"Yes. Mind if I see the baby?" He asked as he stood up.

Jordan was still shocked but she wasn't going to let Rhoan in a room with Sophia without her there as well. Up we all went to Sophia's room where she had just woken up.

"Hello, baby girl." Jordan smiled as she brought her out of the cradle.

I saw Sophia's eyes do that crazy darkness thing and I felt right about bringing Rhoan here to help.

"Yup, she's definitely part demon."

"What can we do about that?" Jordan and I both asked simultaneously. I was just as concerned about all of this as she was.

"Perform an Exorcism." Three words that made me feel like I was back in the dark ages, "We can call it a baptism if that makes you feel calmer." Rhoan really thought we were stupid. I understand it though, two beings part of the supernatural world that don't know a thing about the world they are part of!

"Would it hurt her? What exactly does it do?" Jordan looked desperately into her daughters eyes and stroked her light brown hair.

"It might hurt a little," I could tell he was lying, it would probably hurt her a lot, "but it would be worth it! Getting rid of the darkness inside her will make her invisible to her father, she'll be like another human child, except for her witch powers. Her dark side is like a neon sign above this house, not just demons will be attracted to it, all dark creatures will."

"I want to do it then. Just let's wait until my husband gets home as well."

"Good, I'll go set everything up." Rhoan said happily.

"Can you...do that?" I ask.

"What do you mean?" He replied.

"Gabriel is right. Don't you have to be a priest?"

"I took an online priest course. I'm fully certified...just without the limitations." He winked.

Oh, he meant being with women and all. Online priest course? Huh, never thought that would be useful.

Jordan and I exchanged a worried look as we heard Rhoan preparing downstairs.

-Gabriel


	57. DARKNESS

DARKNESS...

June 22nd, 2011

Later that night, just before sunset, we were all gathered outside. Me, Josh, Jordan, Chelsea, Afton and little Sophia. There is a whole bunch of purple cloth and a basin of water.

Rhoan comes out of the house wearing jeans and a nice black shirt with the sleeves rolled up.

"Um, shouldn't you be wearing something more formal?" I question.

"Shh. Don't question my methods." He snaps back.

I do as he says since he is doing us the big favor of saving my niece.

"Alrighty, let's get started!" He said excitedly, "Since Sophia is only a baby I need someone to speak for her and take the demon into themselves. Volunteers?"

I got really nervous then, it seemed like it was his first time doing this. I was about to volunteer my services when Josh stepped forward and said he would do it.

"Awesome. Come closer then. Jordan, hand Gabriel Sophia. Gabriel, you will be my assistant."

Great. I take my adorable niece into my arms and stand next to Rhoan.

The wind picked up a bit and Sophia started whimpering.

Rhoan's voice got very serious, "We are gathered here today to exorcise a demon from Sophia Vaught. And who are you?"

"I am Josh Vaught, Sophia's father. I will speak on her behalf in order to protect her."

Rhoan nodded.

"And you are?" He turned to me.

"Is this seriously part of the ritual?" This seems so stupid.

"Gabriel! Don't mess this up!" Jordan yells at me.

I growl.

Rhoan laughs, "No, this isn't part of it. I just wanted to see if you thought it was."

Both Jordan, Josh and I growled at him then.

"Okay, okay," he cleared his throat.

Rhoan starts chanting in latin, which I don't understand, maybe I'll have him teach me after this.

The chanting continues, with Sophia's name being inserted here and there and the sign of the cross being made.

He took the water and poured it over Josh, he took more and made the sign of the cross on Sophia's forehead and over her heart.

Then he made the sign of the cross on himself and said, "In the name of the father, the son, and the holy spirit. Amen."

The wind picked up, Sophia started shrieking and steam was coming off her body. I wanted to do something but Rhoan put his hand on my arm. I sneaked a glance at Jordan and she looked like she was in as much pain as Sophia, it must be a mother thing.

All the sudden, Josh was withering in pain on the ground and Sophia started kicking fiercely. Jordan couldn't take it any longer, she ran over to us and grabbed Sophia's face.

"Shhh, shhh. Its okay. Mommy's here. I'm here!"

Sophia calmed down drastically but Josh's screaming got worse.

"What the hell is happening?" I yell over the wind.

These awful, inhuman sounds start coming out of Josh's mouth. It wasn't like anything I'd ever seen!

Rhoan asked him something in latin.

"I do." Josh replies in a strangled voice.

Another question.

"I do."

And another.

"I do."

Rhoan paused and held his palms up, on his wrists there was some designs that looked like he took a knife and carved them in there. The designs glowed with a fiery red as he said, "Then be gone, demon. Leave this mans body and leave this child's soul."

Josh collapsed on the ground, breathing heavily and Sophia fell asleep in my arms.

Jordan left Sophia with me and ran to Josh, she couldn't tell who she should be with; her daughter or husband. So I took Sophia and knelt by Josh's body as well.

"Is he going to be okay?" I ask.

"Yeah, he's just goona be...different for a little bit."

"Different?" Jordan shrieked.

"How long?" I mutter.

"No longer than a week. He'll be...grumpy and sorta angry. Kinda like a demon possessed him."

"What?" Jordan sounded like a cross between angry and worried.

"Yup."

"What about Sophia?" I ask.

"She's fine. She'll sleep through the night but I can't see her darkness anymore, its not in her anymore."

"So its gone now?" I ask. I really was getting curious about this.

"No, no. It had to go somewhere." He held up his wrists still glowing red, "So it did."

One design was in the shape of a crescent moon, the other looked like flames.

The designs captivated me and I felt like I should get up and go over to him.

I started hearing a beating sound in my ears and all I saw was the crescent moon and the flames.

"Come closer, Gabriel. Come here." I heard.

Slowly I stood up, completely unaware of everything else and walked towards Rhoan. His eyes were locked on me.

"That's right. Your almost there." The voice says.

I was about to reach my hand out to touch the blazing crescent, when the drums stopped. Rhoan had pulled his sleeves down to cover them and I blinked back my shock.

He gave me a slight shake of his head.

I didn't know what to say, I felt empty, so I turned around and ran Sophia up to her room. I gently laid her in the crib and watched her. I still felt empty, and then I felt angry. It was like a junkie needing his drug, I needed to hear that voice again.

So I trudged down stairs and found Jordan carrying Josh to their room. Chelsea and Afton were gone.

"Do you think it worked?" Jordan asked me.

I had zoned out for a while, I hardly even noticed her go up the stairs.

I remembered feeling warm, hearing the drum beating in my ears, seeing the red glow of the crescent moon-

"Yeah. It did." I left her abruptly and found Rhoan passed out on the couch. His chest rising and falling rapidly, his breathing very shallow. One arm was over his stomach, the other flung carelessly above his head. I saw the red glow coming from under his sleeve. It ebbed and flowed into me. I heard those drums, heard that voice, I felt warm again as I reached towards his sleeve to pull it back. The drums got louder and louder as my fingers slowly made their way up his arm to the crescent on his wrist.

And just before my fingers could graze the red fire, Rhoan's eyes snapped open and his other hand clasped my wrist. It should have been to easy for me to shake his grasp, but it wasn't.

"Uh-uh-uh." He warned. The glow disappeared as he brought his sleeve back up and his wrists from my sight. He fell asleep immediately, as if he had never woken in the first place.

So I sat in the chair across from the couch and watched him. Waiting until I could see the crescent moon and flames again.

-Gabriel


	58. DYING

DYING...

June 24th, 2011

I never thought it would be this hard to quit...I hadn't even started really. But here I was, standing in the corner remembering the way I felt and wanting to feel that way again. It was something I had never really experienced, yet at the same time I felt as if I had known that feeling all my life. I stand away from the others, watching. Always watching. And waiting. Waiting until my opportunity arrives. The opportunity when I can feel that warmth again, when I can hear those drums, that voice...

"Gabriel?"

"Hmmm?" I reply distracted. I've had a hard time concentrating lately.

"Do you want to feed her?" Jordan asks me.

I was still at her house. I hadn't been able to leave. It didn't feel right. I was...connected.

I look at the sleeping child in one arm and the bottle in the other hand.

"No." Then I turn and walk out the back doors.

The breeze filled my nose and so did the scents that rode with it. The beach not too far away. The rain on the leaves in the forest. It pushed my hair off my shoulders as I leaned against the wall and inhaled deeply.

"Its not getting easier." Josh says.

I was so distracted I hadn't even noticed him sitting next to me.

"He said it would."

He. Rhoan.

"No," I agreed, "Its not."

Josh and I sat there. Waiting. Watching. I should say that we were thinking of the family, of friends. But that would be a lie. At least, for me it would be. All I could think about were those drums. The deep, seductive, sinful, rich, intoxicating voice. The fire. A crescent moon and flames.

I don't know how long I sat there. It could have been weeks for all I knew...or cared really. But finally I did go inside. Jordan was there with Sophia. And Josh was in the chair across from her. I don't think he was back to normal yet either. He looked sorta tired.

I didn't sit, I was too fidgety. Really, I couldn't even stand still for a minute.

"What's up?" Jordan asks me.

'The sky' I wanted to say. Hah! I'm such a funny person.

"Nothing." I said instead.

I looked at Josh, he looked at me. We both felt the same way.

"So I take it you guys aren't back to normal yet?" She replied sadly.

"What is 'normal', really? Existing? Brooding? Killing? Enlighten me, Jordan." I felt anger again.

"I'm so glad you've seen it fit to indulge us with your voice." She says in an acidy tone, her tone lightens though, "its the first time you've spoken more than one word at once."

But I could've cared less what she said, Rhoan had entered the room. My eyes were fixated on the fabric covering his wrist. Why was he covering those beautiful marks? The fire seemed to call to me through the cotton fabric. I would have gone to them had the baby not let out a shrill cry.

The fog lifted from my brain and I ran over to her wanting to comfort her. I tickled her legs and smiled at her until she was quiet again. Darkness covered me again. I heard those drums in my head, and that voice.

"Gabriel, Gabriel, Gabriel. Give in to temptation. Let sin cover and caress you," It said.

I turned my head slightly to the right, Rhoan's wrist was right next to me. He was trying to comfort the infant that was crying a minute ago. The fiery crescent moon peeked out from his sleeve.

"Gabriel, no!" Rhoan yelled as he tried to back away.

I hardly heard him though, the drums were loud. So loud.

I leapt and had him pinned to the wall with his wrists above his head, the designs facing outward.

I traced my thumb along the edge of the crescent, the lines seemed to get deeper and wider.

"'Let sin cover and caress you'" I repeat out loud, "I will. I want to."

Again, I traced the desirable sign on Rhoan's tanned flesh.

"Gabriel, don't." There was sweat on Rhoan's brow as he growled the words.

I laughed. I could do anything I want, after all, I was a vampire. Who was he to tell me what I can't do? I leaned close to him and gave a sickly sweet smile.

"Are you going to stop me?" This was all a joke. Life was a joke.

"Yes." His jaw was set.

"I'd like to see you try." I said with a devils smile as I tilted my head to his neck. My fangs slid down and I had only pierced his skin when I felt a burning sensation on my neck. I backed away rather quickly, causing a jagged rip in Rhoan's neck.

I put my hand to my neck but felt nothing.

Rhoan held out his palm and blew into it. Silvery powder fluttered towards me. As soon as it touched my bare skin, I felt like I was on fire. I tried to get it out of my eyes and off of me but it did no good.

"That's me stopping you, in case you can't tell." Rhoan said in a snide remark, "Pure angels dust. It counteracts the demon inside us."

My eyes itched and burned as I lifted my gaze to him. Fangs still out in a snarl and eyes red with hunger I must have been a sight.

I lunged at his wrist, I could see his vein pulsating just under the crescent, but he lifted his other hand and blew another pile of dust in my face. This time, it got in my mouth and I started choking. I swear, it was the most awful experience of my entire existence. I kept choking and choking. Since I couldn't die for good I kind of started dying and then I would be okay then I would die again. It was Hell. Through all the pain and fire, I finally gathered enough sense to remember that I could shape shift. I took my human form and immediately passed out.

-Gabriel


	59. A GIFT FROM THE GODS RHOAN'S POV

A GIFT FROM THE GODS (Rhoan's POV)...

June 23rd, 2011

I couldn't help thinking of Zeus and the other olympians as I gazed at the beauty sleeping in the bed. Just like Zeus, Gabriel was powerful and a leader as well. Like Hades, he was a king of death. Like Ares, a fighter and warrior, Gabriel is so strong and powerful. But what would strength be without passion? A passion and wisdom of battle which is like that of Athena's. And I dare say, Aphrodite's beauty couldn't be compared to his! I crossed the smooth stone of Jordan Vaught's basement to where Gabriel lay in the bed.

His face looked like an angels, perfect in every way, elegant but soft. And his body looked like the gods sculpted it from marble, there was no flaw in him. It made me wonder how such a beautiful creature could be permitted to live forever. He could have caused a war over his beauty a few centuries ago. And he would make women swoon on the sidewalk if he stopped living in the past.

I took a damp washcloth out of a nearby water basin and put it on his forehead. His face and hands had a few burns from the angels dust, but that should heal soon. His forehead was very warm. I place another cool cloth on his face but he begins to shift away. He was human sleeping but something tells me he will be waking up as a vampire soon. And when that happened, it wouldn't be too wise of me to be this close.

I crossed the room and leaned against the door frame waiting. And while I was waiting for this angel to awake from his slumber, I thought of how nice Jordan had been to offer me to stay until we were all feeling well. And even nicer she was when she let me conjour a basement to keep Gabriel in for now.

He was starting to come to now, which means he won't be pleased with the fact that he is bound in chains. That's right, the beautiful archangel lying in the bed was tied down with chains at his wrists and ankles. He wouldn't be able to break free of them, they weren't just metal, angles dust was infused into the metal. I instantly regretted my decision to have him like that. A work of true beauty and wonder shouldn't be in shackles. After all, a God isn't a peasant. Sleep wore away from his mind as he took over his vampire form. He went still again, eyes closed, lying in bed, un-moving. I inched a bit closer, too much closer and he would have been able to grab hold of me.

Gabriel's eyes snapped opened, they were still a hell fire red and these awful shrieks came out of his throat. Deep growls and inhuman sounds.

"What have you done to me?" He bellowed.

His voice was different, deeper, strangled. I still couldn't answer, it was as if my own voice had been paralyzed.

"What. Have. You. Done to me?" He yelled while exposing his fangs and growling at me.

Instinctively, my hand went to the spot on my neck where Gabriel had bitten me. It was covered in a band aid, but I could feel fresh blood seeping through it again. That happened when I got tense or frustrated, the wound re-opened.

Gabriel laughed at my reaction. It was a deep laugh that drew you in, but it was a laugh of pity. A God laughing down on a peasant.

He tried to break the shackles but yelled out a scratchy scream of agony.

I had found my voice, "Its angels dust. In the metal and in your throat still. That's why it burns."

His hell fire eyes were dancing, consuming his pupils.

"Maybe its because I am hungry." He enjoyed torturing me.

I gulped. Afraid that he was speaking the truth.

"You wouldn't kill me, I saved your niece."

He barked another laugh which made me feel as if I were the one tied down and he were free to torture me.

"I would kill anyone." The truth in his eyes as he said that scared me.

I brought my eyes down to the ground, but as I did, I noticed a flaw on my beautiful marble angel.

I came closer to the snarling beast and pull back his shirt front, exposing his chest.

"What are you doing?" His voice was hoarse, the angels dust was really making him uncomfortable.

His chest was fully exposed as I gazed at the flaw on my beauty. There were slash marks across his chest, just noticeable to the naked eye.

"What are these?" I asked as I traced them with my own fingers. They were jagged and rough.

He tried scaring me away as I sat next to him on the bed.

I touched them again and he bucked and arched, trying to get away from me.

"Does it hurt you?" I ask him.

Gabriel nodded his head in reply, not wanting to show any weakness.

"How did you get these?" I couldn't help but be curious. I sort of regretted asking since he didn't seem to enjoy the memory.

"I...killed my maker."

It made sense in the vampire world that the child should feel remorse for destroying what gave them life, but to me, I couldn't understand. Why love something that destroyed your God given life? Why love what made you watch your loved ones die away?

I had a grand realization then.

I touched the burn on Gabriel's cheek and stared into his eyes, "Your still beautiful." I said to him.

And I truly believed that! Those scars seemed like a part of him, a part that shows that he isn't perfect. Yet, I couldn't help feel that those scars made him even more perfect.

"Your even more beautiful than I thought you could be."

Gabriel's deep eyes changed from red to black.

"Help me." He pleaded.

I stroked his black hair, "I am."

And I would, forever, I would stay and help him. I knew then that I wouldn't return to The Order, not unless Gabriel asked me to.

I brought my fingers to the band aid at my neck and removed it. Gabriel shivered in delight at the smell of blood. MY blood.

The blood started dripping and I cleaned up the mess with my fingers. When I brought them in front of me, they were red, covered in blood.

I lowered them to Gabriel's mouth and he invited them in warmly. He sucked and licked the blood away and didn't complain too much when I pulled my fingers out.

I washed his burns once more and then left him alone.

"Please. Don't leave me alone with It." He begged.

I knew a while ago that the voice had called out to him stronger than anyone else and I was sorry that he had to endure this.

"We all have to face sin alone. No one can help us except for ourselves and God."

"I don't believe in God," there was sweat building on his brow.

"Maybe you should." I replied and then left. I went up the stairs to be with Jordan, Sophia and Josh. They were all in the kitchen. I smiled when I saw Josh, he looked more normal now, the shadows were gone from under his eyes and his soul seemed almost clean of the devil haunting the three of us. I helped myself to coffee which Jordan was nice enough to continuously make for me. I was sort of a heavy coffee drinker, if ya wanted to know the truth. I absolutely loved coffee and you could pretty much always find me drinking it.

"Good morning, Jordan, Josh. Hello Sophia." I said with a smile.

"How is he?" Josh asked.

At least he was starting to care about something now!

"He's fighting it...sorta. Is it normal that he wants to kill everyone?"

Without hesitation they both replied, "Yes."

I wasn't as shocked as I thought I would be yet I still felt bad that I was the target of his insults...and his desires. I politely asked for a pair of scissors which Josh handed me. I pulled out a bunch of gauze from my back pocket which I wrapped a couple of times around each of my wrists. This was so I could make things easier for the both of them, not like it would be easier for me, but if I could protect two souls then I think I could endure some torture of my own. The fire started getting hotter and hotter with no place to go. So I just grinned and kept drinking my coffee, they didn't need to know how much it hurt. I was on my second cup and listening to Jordan and Josh talking about how they met and how they met everybody else and they spoke of a vampire group called the Volturri. I was enjoying the story, save for a few bloody details, when I heard the basement door close. I looked up and watched Gabriel come into the room with the metal shackles still on his wrist. He casually sat down next to me and asked Jordan if she had any blood in the house. She did. We all just stared for a bit and watched him drink the blood he was given. He finished rather quickly and then it was his turn to watch me, or rather, my wrists. I drank my coffee and tried to pay very little attention to him. I guess he didn't like the silence since he then spoke.

"You covered your wrists." He noted.

"Yeah, I thought it would be easier for you two. Yours are covered as well." I joke.

Sophia smiled and I couldn't help but laugh, how innocent she was! She really didn't care what was going on, she didn't have to.

"Yeah. Can you take them off?"

I nodded and pulled a key from my pocket. The shackles were gone instantly and his wrists were now exposed. They were red and raw from all the angels dust. I grabbed his left wrist and wrapped it in gauze and did the same with his right, they were both a little bloody. And if I looked anything like he did, it kind of looked we had tried to slice open our wrists and commit suicide.

"Want to teach me latin?" He asked. I really wasn't expecting more of a conversation from him, and if I was, then it certainly wouldn't be that.

"Sure." I really couldn't think of anything better to do.

I took some paper and a pen and Gabriel followed me into the living room.

"Let's start with the latin alphabet..."

I drew out each letter for him and explained all I knew.

-Rhoan Boulevardi


	60. A NEW ADDITION TO THE FAMILY

A NEW ADDITION TO THE FAMILY...

July 2nd, 2011

Rhoan did it! He taught me latin in 8 days! We would have been done sooner if he didn't have to sleep and do all that human stuff. But still, he taught me how to read, write and speak latin. I can't wait to actually use this one day, which I probably won't get to do since Latin is a dead language.

I made Rhoan spend all our free time teaching me so I kind of don't know what to do now. I think Rhoan was catching up on missed sleep so I went into my room at the main house and laid in the bed. This seemed awfully boring, I couldn't understand how humans liked just sitting there. I thought of the time I'd spent with Rhoan. There were a couple hours when we took a break from latin and just talked about our lives. And there was also one night when we left the house entirely! Just after the sun had set, Rhoan brought me into town to teach me about today's women. Emphasis on 'today's', I could handle girls from the 1600s all the way up to maybe the early 1800s, but after that just forget it. The way women spoke, the way they dressed! God help us! I just couldn't get used to it, I thought it was fairly improper...the king of improper and he can't stand it! Hah!

We stayed out until dawn (no joking) and partied. Well, Rhoan partied, I kinda watched. Until this one girl he was dancing with came over and got me, he found another girl to dance with so this meant that she was all mine. Of all the things to do or say to the girl and I couldn't think of anything to do except me drinking her blood.

'Just talk to her!' Rhoan's voice said in my mind.

"Hi. I'm Gabriel." I sneaked a glance at him and all he would do is shake his head.

Well, tough Rhoan, its a start.

"I'm Pam. Do ya dance?"

All I wanted to say was 'no' but instead I said, "Not well at all."

She laughed and said she would teach me, which she did. Thanks to me being a vampire, I mastered this dance rather quickly. I even started smiling and laughing a bit. The night was wonderful, and when all was done Rhoan was exhausted, me? I could have done it again, and I would soon.

Such good times Rhoan was able to show me, and I was glad he had come into my life. I was glad he talked to me on the plane, glad that he found me in London, glad that he saved my niece, and glad that he saved me.

Yes, that means I'm better. I don't crave that voice any longer or the warmth it brought. I asked Rhoan if he was better, he said no. I told him he should just take the bandages off his wrists, Josh was at his house and I would be okay around him. Rhoan said I was kind to offer, but he knew that if I saw those signs again it would be a major set back.

Yeah, I even asked Rhoan if he would stay with us, if The Order would let him. He agreed to stay happily and said The Order didn't mind. We asked Faine and Alec, Jordan and Josh, and Chelsea and Afton as well, they didn't mind at all. That made me smile, to know that through it all, I would always have him with me. Like a younger brother, but smarter, he would be there.

My thoughts were interrupted by a sound coming from outside. It was the sound of a car door being slammed, and I wondered who it could be. None of us used cars, we were vampires!

I crossed the wood floor and looked out the window. You would never believe who stepped out of that taxi, with suitcases and all.

"Johanna..." I breathed under my breath.

Without hesitation I ran down the stairs and opened the door before anyone else could. The cab was gone now and I continued running until I was about 10 feet in front of her.

"Hello, Gabriel." She smiled.

"Johanna..." I couldn't breathe.

She dropped both of her suit cases and ran into my arms. She got onto her tiptoes and threw her arms around my neck holding me tight.

Her hair smelt lovely, just like sunshine.

This was all I've wanted, all I've dreamed of since she left. It was her who haunted my every waking thought, her who made me leave my friends, her who drove me to The Seven Deadly Sins. She caused so much, caused so much pain and desire, so much pain.

She was all I wanted since I first saw her...and now...I couldn't bring myself to wrap her in my arms.

She sensed my discomfort and pulled away, "Gabriel, what's wrong?"

Her beautiful grass green eyes looked up at me, causing her wavy blonde hair to cascade like a waterfall down her back. I noticed that she looked healthier, with rosy cheeks and a tan that made her green eyes pop.

"You." I replied and then stepped away from her. I would never push her away from me, but I would step away from her.

"I don't understand." Her eyes started getting watery.

"You left me when I needed you the most. How can you expect me to just be here waiting for when you feel like being with me?"

"I'm sorry. I was upset and confused and worried about my parents. I needed to make sure they were okay."

"What about me? If you didn't care about me then, why should you now?"

This was all the truth. As much as I wanted to just hold her again, I had moved on. I didn't think of her as much and I didn't wish she were here, I was fine with my family and friend.

"I always cared about you. Really, I did. But my family comes first. I couldn't love the man whose ex almost killed my parents. But I can love the man who saved their lives." Her hand was on my chest, over my heart.

I pushed her hand away, "Take a good hard look at me, Johanna. I'm both of those people."

"What are you saying?" She asks, her eyes tearing.

"What are YOU saying?" I reply.

She shakes her head, "I don't know why I thought you would take me back, I guess I thought that you of all people would understand the need to protect your family."

She was right.

"Gabriel, I want to be with you. I want to sleep at night knowing that I'm safe because you are watching me. I want to bring you into today, show you what its like to live. I want to be there for you when you need me, even if I can only comfort you by holding you. I want to be your reason to live."

She didn't know that she already was my reason for living.

"You said we could make this work. So let's." She was trying to smile.

I couldn't though, I still couldn't forgive her, "That was before you turned your back on me."

And then I turned and ran from her. I pushed my way through the crowd that had formed at the door and ran up the stairs. I slammed my door shut and locked it. I still couldn't breathe, and I didn't know if I had made a big mistake, or if I had saved myself from one. I couldn't even make it to the bed, I was so confused, so I just put my back to the door and slid to the ground. Downstairs, I heard the family welcoming Johanna in and offering her to stay in the house. They were just being friendly but I still couldn't help but feel betrayed. Johanna knocked on my door a few times and tried to talk to me but I wouldn't respond. She wasn't welcome back in my un-dead heart.

-Gabriel


	61. SCARED

SCARED...

July 3rd, 2011

All night long all I could do was listen to Johanna's rhythmic breathing. In and out. In and out. Calm and slow. A few times she woke up, startled at first forgetting where she was, then she got worried about what would happen, and finally, she fell back asleep. I hadn't moved from the floor by the door, I didn't plan too. I actually got exhausted from all of this, I was probably just as worried as Johanna. What good would 8 hours worth of worrying do me? I figured the only thing left to do would be to sleep. Taking my human form, I immediately fell asleep and dreamt of nothing.

About 10 hours later I awoke to the smell of coffee and eggs. A part of me wanted to go down there and eat them. But a bigger part of me wanted to be a vampire again. So back to being a vampire I went. I was faced with the feeling of anger...at Johanna. How dare she come to MY home and make herself comfortable! This would not last! She was leaving. NOW.

I ran down the stairs, surprisingly everyone was at the main house, except for Jordan and Sophia.

"Alright. Where is she?" I demanded from Faine.

"She isn't here. She went out."

I grabbed the door handle of the front door and flung it open.

"Gabriel! What are you going to do?" She shrieks.

The guys were getting up, preparing to try and hold me back.

"She's leaving, Faine. Right now. I'm going to find her and make her leave. Its my house, not hers. She has no right to just come on in here and have me lock myself in my room."

I tried to walk away, "But Gabriel! Just talk to her, try to understand!" Faine pleads with me.

"Its me or her, Faine." I warn, I was dead serious to, "And I will not be the one to leave what was mine first."

I didn't stay to listen any longer, I raced off after her scent. The smell of rain in a forest rode on the wind. Johanna's scent.

I ran for about 30 minutes and found myself in a small town. The clock in the town rang 12 times. It was noon. For the first time since getting here, I actually looked around and noticed that it was pretty deserted here. Nobody was around to be seen, it was as if only ghosts lived here. Then I heard a soft voice, a beautiful melody riding on the wind. I followed this melody to a church. Slowly I gazed up at the large gargoyles and ornate carvings, my chest felt tight and I wished that I didn't have to go inside. But unfortunately, that melodious voice was connected to Johanna's scent.

I took a deep breath and walked through the heavy wood doors. My muscles flexed and my eyes keep shifting around, my chest got tighter. I felt like a wolf in the middle of a flock of sheep, like the only light bulb in a room that wouldn't work, like a dead rose in a garden of living ones. I felt like walking further into the church would cause my death. I had this feeling that God would smite me for setting my un-holy body in such a holy place. I slowly made my way through the doors and down a long empty corridor. The soft melody continued. I hid along the back wall, sinking into the shadows and watched her. She was wearing a white peasant blouse and a purple skirt made of cotton that touched just below her knees. Also...she had no shoes. I chuckled and a smile played at my lips. Oh, Johanna, leave it to her to walk through a church without shoes!

She was observing the beautiful stained glass windows depicting scenes from the Bible. And also looking at a porcelain figure of Jesus as a baby,

"'Yes I know I'm just an outcast. I shouldn't speak to you but still I see your face and wonder...were you once an outcast too?'" She sang.

""God help the outcasts hungry from birth. Show them the mercy they don't find on Earth. God help my people, we look to you still, God help the outcasts when nobody will...'"

She was singing from the heart, she cared about everybody even though she didn't know any of them. She was too good of a person, a saint in a world of sinners.

Her voice was soft and delicate, but strong at the same time with belief.

I heard voices in my mind, of people I've killed. Asking God for forgiveness, for love, for wealth, to be blessed. And to protect loved ones.

Johanna was now looking at a painting of the angels, my angel in particular. The archangel Gabriel, who interpreted visions and brought good news.

"'I ask for nothing, I can get by. But I know so many less lucky than I. Please help my people, the poor and downtrod-'" she was looking at the statue of Jesus on the cross now, "'I thought we all were the children of God.'"

She turned her head slightly over her shoulder and caught sight of me. Her body turned to face me as she held out her arms and finished her song, never once letting my gaze go, '"God help the outcasts, children of...God.'"

We stood there for a while. You could still hear her last note ringing high in the rafters and echoing off the stone walls.

I knew then that I wouldn't let her go, ever. She was sent to change me, and without even trying, she already had. The anger in my heart had melted long ago, at the soul in her song. I was able to give her a warm smile and slowly walk over to her. I stopped just in front of her, we were so close, toe to toe.

She had to look up, with her neck tilted way back to see me. There was a twinkle in her eye, she knew that she had changed me, but she wouldn't gloat about it. I reached into my pocket and pulled out a small cross on a silver chain. The cross itself was silver as well, with small rubies in it. This was the cross she had lost the night I pulled her from the river months ago. Before I had proposed to her I had gone looking for it, and after she had left me I had intentions of throwing it away but just couldn't. She lifted her long hair from her neck and turned around, I draped the silver around her neck and fixed the clasp. She let her hair flow down and turned to face me again.

"Johanna, I want to be with you too. You were right, I said we would make this work, and we will. Stay with me so we can date?" I asked with her cheek cupped in my hand. The colors from the stained glass windows shined over us.

All she did was lift my hand and kiss my palm, telling me that everything would be all right. After her sweet kiss she stroked my palm, sending tingles of warmth through my entire body. I felt the last of the ice melting from my heart.

Johanna knew this too and smiled, tugging me towards the door and into the light.

We took our sweet time getting back to the house. It actually took us 3 hours to get home, I guess its because we walked so slow and often stopped to just admire each other. Johanna, of course, wanted to splash around in a stream or just lay in an open field. All I wanted to do was hold her and look into her grass green eyes.

Either my temper has gotten better, or I can't feel angry at Johanna, because she did something I don't approve of. She ran into the middle of a field and lay down, spreading her arms out and looking at the sky.

"Hey, Johanna. What are you doing?" I ask her as I come closer.

"Nothing." She smiles playfully.

"Oh really?" I try to get closer but she sticks her foot into my chest. I grab it and notice that there is something on it.

"You got a tattoo?" I didn't say it as mean as I thought I would've.

"Yeah. I did. Do ya like it?"

It was like a vine winding across her foot and around the base of her ankle. It had a few tiny flowers and many thorns. I did like it, I really did. It looked classy on her, and not as showy as other tattoos.

"Read it." She commands.

So I do. Along the vine twisting across her foot are the names 'Susan' and 'Richard'.

"Your parents?"

"Mm-hmm. Read my ankle."

I look at her ankle, and in classy, script writing is a name I never expected to see there...

"My name?" I was shocked.

"Yes. Why wouldn't I have it there?"

The 'G' was curly and bold. I smiled. She smiled at me and pulled her leg back, causing me to fall next to her.

We laughed and I grabbed her hand. We hadn't kissed yet, and honestly, I was in no rush. That sounds mean actually, but holding her hand was enough for me. Just being with her made me feel like the only man in the world. That and I had a feeling that there were quite a few boys who had gone to fast with her. She was special to me, and deserved to be treated like that. Eventually we did make it home, we were in no rush. Swinging our joined hands and admiring the flowers in the field we were happy going back into the house.

"Is everything okay?" Alec asked as we came walking through the door.

"It is now." She smiled while wrapping her arms around my waist.

I laughed a little. She was so short! Her head rested below my heart. Little Johanna wasn't even that short compared to the others! I guess maybe I'm just taller than average? Hah!

Anyway, we all smiled and laughed and got back together and talked about what has happened. The one person I didn't notice around was Rhoan. Hmmm, wonder where he is and what he is up to?

Soon enough, to soon, it was time for Johanna to go to bed.

"Goodnight everyone," she said politely.

It was obvious that she wanted to stay up and chat with us, but I encouraged her to get some sleep, we would have all of tomorrow to be together.

"Goodnight, Johanna." They replied.

It wasn't even 20 minutes later when she was back down though, except this time she was in her pajamas.

"Is there something wrong?" I asked her.

She nodded.

"What is it?"

She held out her hand and I took it. She led me up the stairs and into my room where her suitcases were on the floor.

"You want to sleep in here? Well of course you can! You didn't need to ask. I'll just be downstairs all night anyway-"

"Its your room. You shouldn't be afraid to share."

Was she suggesting what I think she was suggesting?

"Gabriel. Stop that. I'm just saying we could share."

Was I that obvious with what I was thinking?

"I just don't like being alone." She really did look vulnerable, and like a child.

"So I'll sit here and watch," I sat in the corner of the room and did just that, "I don't need a bed. I'm perfectly comfortable. Honest."

Reluctantly she climbed under the sheets of my bed and turned out the light. Only when I was sure she was dead asleep did I let my guard down and decide to sleep myself.

Through my sleep some part of me was aware of the terrible rain storm we were having outside. There was lightning and so much thunder. But it didn't bother me at all, what actually bothered me was when, at some odd hour, I felt a foot jamming into my side. I bolted awake, changed into a vampire and turned to face my attacker in less than a second.

It was Johanna. She collapsed into my arms, shaking.

I welcomed her warmly and held her. We sat like that for the longest time until I pulled her back from me to look at her face. She had tears streaming down her eyes and her hair was wild about her face.

"Gabriel, I'm scared."

"What happened, Johanna?"

"I just- I had-. Nightmare. The thunder. You left."

"Oh, Johanna." I said pulling her back to me again.

I carefully lowered us to the ground again. I was facing the window and Johanna was resting against my chest.

"I'm not leaving. Ever. I will never leave you."

The thunder rumbled again and rain splattered against the roof.

She cuddled deeper into my arms, "I'm scared."

"I'm not."

She didn't say another word, neither did I. We stayed like that until the next morning.

-Gabriel


	62. FIREWORKS

FIREWORKS...

July 4th, 2011

I was so happy that I hadn't been dreaming, and I was even happier when the sun rose and Johanna was wrapped in my arms. She looked so peaceful and so happy while she slept. Her hair was sprawled all over the place but her hand was against my chest and her head was on my heart. I could have stayed like that forever, everything seemed so perfect and it seemed like nothing would ruin it. Not long after though, Johanna started to wake up. Her eyelids fluttered open and gazed up at me.

"Good morning," I said quietly to her.

The sun coming through the window caught in her eyes and they twinkled. In reply she nuzzled closer to me.

So I left her alone to go back to sleep or to take her time waking up.

"You know, that was the best sleep I've had ever. I might have been sleeping on the floor, and you might be as hard as stone, but I slept wonderfully." She said.

She was awake now, fully awake.

"Do you want breakfast?" I asked starting to sit up.

"Yeah. But I kinda just want this moment to last forever. Nothing really major is happening but its just peaceful, ya know?"

"Yeah. I do."

She stood up though and quickly braided her wild tangle of hair. She pulled me out the bedroom door, still in her pajamas, and down the stairs. I wanted to try and attempt to make breakfast for her this morning...ALL BY MYSELF! Hah!

But when we got to the bottom, I stopped short. Johanna kept going to the kitchen but I ran forward.

"LOTTIE!" I yelled I picked her up and swung her around once.

Then I gave her a hug, "When did you get back? Its so great to see you again!"

"Just last night! Its wonderful to see you again too! What has been happening since I've left?"

I gave her a quick version of everything.

"Wait. Wait right here."

I ran into the kitchen and pulled Johanna from the cupboard and out into the living room.

"Johanna, this is my best friend, Lottie. Lottie, this is my Johanna."

Johanna and Lottie shook hands and I felt so happy again, my best friend and girlfriend meet. Well, a lot has changed since Lottie left, is she still my best friend? Is she even still my partner in crime? How much has she changed?

"Lottie and I dated for a little while," I whispered to Johanna.

Lottie and I laughed.

Had we really dated? There were a few kisses, and the joy of hunting together. Maybe, like I said earlier, she is just supposed to be a sister.

"Its nice to finally meet you, Lottie. Gabriel said so many nice things about you the last time I was here. He wanted us to meet then but I guess you had left?"

"Right. I had to take care of something." Lottie said with a mischievous smile.

"What have you been doing, Lottie?" I questioned.

She gave a brilliant smile, as if to say that she is very, very happy.

I was anxious now! What could have happened?

Bastien walked through the door with a child in his arms. A little girl. What's with this family wanting little girls only? No boys?

Lottie takes the sweet little girl from Bastien.

"Gabriel, this is Vera. My daughter. Vera, this is my friend Gabriel."

"Hi, Gabriel. Nice to meet you." She says in a sweet voice.

I was shocked! She was a hybrid!

"Well hello, Vera. My aren't you pretty?"

"Thank you," she replied.

And then I introduced Johanna to Bastien.

All was going so well until we heard a sound coming from Johanna's stomach. We all laughed, having forgotten that ours used to make that sound as well. So I went into the kitchen, tried to make her breakfast but messed up so badly. I ended up just grabbing a bowl, a spoon, milk and a box of cereal.

Johanna was leaning against the wall chatting with everyone when she spotted me...and the cereal.

She laughed a beautiful laugh, "My 5-star breakfast? Thank you, chef."

I laughed to. I really couldn't cook at all.

So I sat at the table with Johanna as we all kept talking and catching up. Johanna went back for more cereal at least 8 times!

Finally Rhoan emerged from his room. His eyes looked glazed and his hair was all messy.

"Hey, Rhoan! Rough night?" He went out last night.

He mumbled something unintelligible and made for the coffee pot which I had started for him.

I leaned over to Johanna and whispered in her ear, "That's Rhoan. He's a very good friend, really smart and he saved my life and my niece's. Don't talk to him until he has at least 2 cups of coffee."

'He's human?' She mouthed.

I nodded.

She would enjoy having a human friend, even though she didn't seem to mind vampires to much.

The door opened wide and not even a second later there was a high pitch screaming. Johanna jumped in her seat.

It was Valentina.

"JOHANNA!" She screamed and ran over to her.

Johanna jumped up from her seat and threw her arms around Valentina for a hug.

"Valentina!"

Both the girls hugged for a little bit until Johanna broke away to hug Dimitri quick.

"Where were you two?" She asked.

Valentina explained that they had gone to New York after a stay in London, which I was familiar with.

Valentina had noticed Rhoan in the kitchen with his coffee.

"Oh, hello. Who do we have here?"

Rhoan was still groggy but answered for himself, "Hi. I'm Rhoan. I'm Gabriel's friend. I take it your the one he went to meet in London?"

Valentina was excited now, "And your human too?"

"Last time I checked," He replied.

I was sort of choking on my own laughter. Rhoan really was interesting when he was still tired. He even looked 17 instead of 24, it was amusing.

"Oh do tell me your story!"

Rhoan was able to grab more coffee before Valentina dragged him off to the couch.

Poor Rhoan, Valentina has him now. But I knew he wouldn't mind that much, and I knew she would be gentle...well, sorta.

"-and that's kinda how I got to ride a unicorn." He said.

What? Those are real? I will definitely have to read that big book!

Valentina liked the story, "You and I are goona be best friends." She giggled and grabbed onto his arm.

"Would you like to meet my niece?" I turned to Johanna.

"Of course! Let me change first." So I stayed and waited, but she seemed to be taking a long time so I went to check up on her.

"I wondered what would take you so long!" She said laying on the bed.

"What is it? Do you need something?"

She bolted into sitting position, "Yeah! I just had a question for you. Today is the fourth of July."

I kinda shrugged my shoulders.

"Were you 'sleeping' when it was declared a holiday?"

"Probably," I was able to say before she continued.

"Well, its a major holiday and there is goona be a party tonight."

I blinked.

"With humans."

I blinked again.

"Its a bonfire party on the beach."

"And?" I asked.

"Can we go? I want to invite everyone."

"Well, who invited you?" I didn't know Johanna had already made friends here. I didn't doubt that she would, I just didn't think that could happen so soon.

"Nobody. I invited myself." She must have noticed the look on my face, "Gabriel! Humans are so chill when it comes to this stuff! No one needs an invitation, the more party people the better! Can we go?"

How could I say no? It was goona be night time, and I didn't want to smother Johanna, plus we said that we would make this work.

"Of course we can." She got excited, gave me a hug, then ran downstairs to tell everyone.

I felt good about making her happy even though I was a bit worried about the outcome of tonight's events.

Everyone agreed to go, even Lottie said she, Bastien and Vera would go for a while. Johanna was happy as we walked over to Jordan's house. And soon Jordan and Johanna were hugging and chatting and all that girl stuff. I pushed past them and up the stairs to get my little Sophia.

"Hey, Sophia." She smiled and reached for me.

"I hope you got enough sleep, little one, because we're taking you to a party tonight."

I picked her up and brought her downstairs.

"Johanna, this is my niece, Sophia."

Johanna jumped up and came over to the pretty baby squirming in my arms.

"Well, hello, sweet pea. Uncle Gabriel was right, you are very beautiful. He couldn't stop talking about you."

Sophia liked Johanna.

"Oh, Jordan. She's beautiful." Johanna said.

"Thank you. I think she knows it too ." We all laughed.

"Can I hold her, Jordan?" Johanna asks.

Jordan agrees and I carefully pass her to Johanna. Johanna and Sophia were both smiling as Johanna sat down into a chair. Little Sophia started playing with Johanna's wrist and I soon realized that the baby had noticed Johanna's scar, the one from Jane.

Sophia had a look of worry and I knew that she understood something bad had happened and that she wanted to make it better.

"Yeah. Its okay. It doesn't hurt me anymore. And I don't even mind it being there. Its a sign that I lived and its a part of me." She told the baby.

I knew those words were meant for me though. Johanna forgives me for that, but do I forgive myself?

I felt my own scars tingling, the ones that go across my chest. Johanna wasn't afraid to show hers did I need to be afraid to show mine? I guess it is part of me, a scary part, and that part of my life is over. I made sure of that.

I smelled Josh coming so I quickly took Sophia from Johanna.

"Wait. What's going-? Ah!" Johanna screamed as Josh pulled her into a bear hug.

"You could have hurt the baby." I warned.

"You knew I was coming. Johanna! I'm so glad your back!"

"Its nice to see you too Josh. I'm back for a while. Gabriel and I want to be together."

I smiled as Jordan and Josh encouraged our relationship.

"You guys aren't busy tonight, right?" Johanna finally asked.

"Nope. Hanging out with my baby." Josh said taking Sophia from me.

"Good! Then how bout all three of you come to a bonfire later? There are goona be fireworks and all!"

Josh wanted to go, Sophia I think would like the fireworks, and Jordan would like being with everyone again.

"That would be awesome!" Josh said.

"Sure!" Jordan agreed.

"Wonderful! I got a present for Sophia, she can wear it tonight." Johanna pulled a nice white dress with red and blue stars on the hem from her bag. Hmmmm I didn't even notice that she brought a bag with her.

Jordan started saying how nice of Johanna it was and Sophia reached for the dress wanting to see the sparkly stars.

"Oh don't worry, I got you a few presents too, Gabriel." She smiles.

I felt nervous, was I getting party clothes too?

But instead she pulls out a small black box.

"What is it?" I ask. At least its not party clothes.

"Open it and find out."

I do as she suggests and find myself holding a cell phone.

"What...is this?" Definitely not what I thought.

"A cell phone!" Johanna and Jordan shriek.

Before I know what's happening Jordan has pulled the phone and is pressing the buttons. Then Josh starts pressing buttons and so does Johanna.

"We're your first three contacts." Jordan says handing me back the phone.

"That means absolutely nothing to me." I say.

It was one of those ones without the cover, good I didn't need anything to fancy.

"I thought you would be happier with this. You don't seem like the flip kind of guy. And I don't feel like you text to much either. It has a full keyboard in case you do end up texting but otherwise its pretty basic." She explains.

"Great. How do I use it?"

They all laughed at me.

"Take it easy, I was born in the 1600s! Electric wasn't even invented!" They laughed at that too.

Johanna and I decided to go home since it was getting late, that way we would have time to get ready. When I got back home though, I was attacked. Everybody needed to put their numbers in my phone and vice versa. Johanna laughed and pulled me up the stairs.

"I got ya some clothes to."

"What's wrong with the clothes I have?"

She gives me a once over, "Nothing... if your an assassin or if you lived in the dark ages."

"What? I think I look pretty...hip?"

"Yeah. That's why I bought you those clothes." She smiles and leaves into the bathroom to do her hair and all that girl stuff.

So I put on the jeans and the black converse and the white long sleeved shirt. I had just finished buttoning the shirt when there was a knock on the door.

"Come in." I said.

It was Rhoan.

"Going to a party?"

"Yeah. Johanna heard of this 4th of July party on the beach and we're all going."

"Not like that you shouldn't. You'll get your ass kicked. Here." He crossed the room and came over to me. Rhoan was almost a head shorter than I was. He started unbuttoning my shirt, just the first few.

"Much better." He said.

I looked in the mirror, he was right. This did look better.

"Great. Thanks!" I bent down to tie my shoes.

"So about Johanna-"

"She's great, isn't she?" I smiled.

"Sure. But-"

I remembered the cell phone she gave me.

"Oh, here, Ro," I say tossing him the device, "Enter your number."

"What?"

"Yeah, Johanna got it for me, I guess to sorta bring me out of-"

"WOULD YOU LISTEN TO YOURSELF?"

"P-pardon me?" I was shocked at his tone.

He threw the phone onto the bed.

"SHES CHANGING YOU!" He calms himself, "First your morals, then the phone, now the clothes. What's next? Your hair? Do you need to get a tattoo then? Or how about a piercing?"

"Stop it," I warned.

"I thought people were supposed to love each other for who they are. Not for who they can be. She doesn't love you-"

"Rhoan, watch yourself." I growl.

"Well, what is she doing? How is she changing for you?"

"RHOAN! I have had enough! You are acting like a child about this. The truth of the matter is that I love Johanna, and we will be together. So either you like it or you learn to."

"Well, sorry to ruffle your feathers, your highness. I just thought you deserve someone who treats you the way you should be. She isn't here even a full day and already she has you dressed her way and going to her parties-"

"Rhoan, I'm done with you. So either you get over your problems and come to the party with us, or you can leave." I yell.

I was furious at him. How dare he try to ruin something that makes me so happy! Everything was so right and now he's messed it all up.

Johanna came out of the bathroom then. The tension in the room was so thick, even she sensed it.

She was wearing jean shorts, a tie dye shirt, a tuxedo jacket with the sleeves rolled up and converse sneakers. She had red lipstick, blue eye shadow and her hair was curled.

"Don't you look lovely, Johanna." I said pleasantly.

Rhoan sneered and then left the room.

"Gabriel, do you wanna-?"

"No. We're going to the party. Let's go."

We went downstairs where everybody was ready and waiting. I smiled at my family Alec and Faine, Demetri and Valentina, Lottie and Bastien and Vera, Jordan and Josh and Sophia. Too bad we were missing Afton and Chelsea, otherwise we all would have been together.

Johanna and I chose to ride in Demetri and Valentina's car. And gosh, we all must have looked so interesting pulling up in our 4 cars! But we had a wonderful time, we really did. Sophia looked beautiful in her white dress and she and Vera loved the fireworks! And the rest of us had fun at the bonfire, mingling with the humans and listening to todays music. The most of my fun came when a nice slow song came on:

"'I've been wishing on a star but I never could have imagined

I would land just where you are after all this lonesome travelling

I Took one look in your eye, reached out to hold your hand

This is when I realized what I could never understand,'"

I stood up and bowed, reaching for Johanna's hand.

She gave it to me and I led her away from the crowd right by the fire. We had kicked off our shoes long ago so I led her into the surf, and there we danced. I placed my hand on her waist and pulled her close to me, she leaned herself against me, fitting perfectly.

"'Do you want to be my one and only love?

Do you want to be my one and only love?

So you wanna be my friend, so you wanna be my lover

With you I do confess I can't be one without the other

That was hard for me to say, I hope I said it right

Which ever, come what may, you see I need to know tonight

Do you want to be my one and only love?

Do you want to be my one and only love?'"

Could this have been anymore perfect? The fireworks were booming in the sky, we were dancing with the moon as our spotlight, acoustic guitar set our scene and the salt water splashed at our knees.

I sang softly into her ear along with the song,

"'Do you want to run away or do you want to stick around?

Do you want to be my one and only love?

Do you want to be my one and only love?'"

She was smiling and so was I as I kissed her head and leaned my cheek against it. By this time we weren't even dancing anymore, just swaying softly...until a huge wave came and knocked us over. Yeah. That's right. You read correctly. A wave knocked both of us off our feet. We got soaked! But I could have cared less since Johanna leaned up and kissed me then. It was soft and slow. Her lips felt warm against mine, they seemed to just give way to mine, and she tasted like summer. I didn't need the fireworks from the party, I saw my own fireworks in our kiss. I say she tasted like summer. What I mean is, do you remember summers as a child? Countless nights with warm thick air, owls hooting, crickets chirping. Long days spent far away from home in our own make believe lands where we could be young and carefree forever. There were no rules, no night time, just time to play and live our little adventures. Well, that's how I felt. I guess you really can't understand. But, she made me feel as if I were far away from here, I was in a place without vampires and shape shifters, no demons or witches. Just me and Johanna, together.

It was beautiful.

We broke apart when another wave crashed over us. And soon we all left, the babies had to sleep and well, it was getting really late.

We all came barging through the front door, still geared up from the party. I decided that I just had to tell Rhoan. The night had gone wonderfully and the only thing that could make it better would be making up with him and putting our earlier fight behind us. I left the group to go into Rhoan's room, sure he would be angry that I woke him up so early but he would forgive me if I apologized.

I pushed open the door to his room.

"Rhoan?"

-Gabriel


	63. MOVING OUT AND MOVING ON

MOVING OUT AND MOVING ON...

July 5th, 2011

Gabriel,

Your exact words were ' I'm done with you. So either you get over your problems and come to the party with us, or you can leave.'

I'm usually one to follow advice from friends, so I gladly left. Our friendship used to mean a lot to me but I'm glad it meant so little to you that you could just toss me aside and run for somebody else. Be nice when you are 'done with' Johanna. Your friends were shocked when you had me as a friend, they said you could be very dark and medieval. But I wasn't afraid of you, I knew you were a vampire, I could see that you had been hurt in your life. But isn't losing everyone you love in your mortal life a good enough reason to fight for the friends you can find in your immortal one? I thought your friends were wrong about you...but now I do see the monster and I agree with them. Any mortal that finds this angel of death will be lured in by the mask of pain and suffering of a fellow human, only to fall deeper into a trap and then immediately cut loose, as if they were nothing.

Tell Jordan I say thank you for the coffee.

Tell Sophia she is beautiful, powerful, and will be alright.

Tell Valentina I am sorry that we couldn't get to be closer (seeing as I only knew her for a day) but that I would have liked her friendship very much.

I am shocked that you've read this far, shouldn't you be off telling Johanna how "lovely" she looks?

-Rhoan Boulevardi

That was the letter Rhoan had left me last night. The page is ready to rip from me folding and un-folding it constantly. I must have read it at least 3 dozen times probably more. Rhoan is gone. I can't even really believe it. But its true. The basement he created to keep me in at Jordan's is also gone. After 621 years of killing people, I didn't think I could miss a human so much. But that isn't true, Rhoan isn't just a human, he was a good friend. He did so much for me and he hardly knew me.

I had sent Johanna upstairs saying that I couldn't be with her because I had business to take care of. She reluctantly went upstairs to bed while I stayed in the main room and read the letter. Valentina soon came along and aggravated me.

"Hey! So where's my buddy?" She asks referring to Rhoan.

I can't bring myself to say that he has left so I hand her the letter.

She finishes it quickly and then throws it into my lap.

"You jerk!" She screams, "What did you do to him?"

"I don't understand, Valentina. You don't even know him for a day and already he's your best friend?"

"Yeah. Why can't he be? But that's not just it, he was your friend. He cared about you! He wanted to help you even though you were being a monster."

So everybody thought I was a monster. Its all coming out now, isn't it.

"Haven't you ever heard of 'bros before hos'?"

"What?" That was a new one.

She got annoyed with me and let out an angry sigh, "Never mind. Look, I'm not saying that it was right of him to say you should choose between him and Johanna but you shouldn't have written him off like that. He really was trying to help."

It was my turn to be angry now, "You think I don't know that? You think I don't miss him? Well I do!" I got quiet, "He was the first one who didn't run, he wasn't afraid of me. Valentina, I wanted to make things right, that's why I went in there last night, so we could-"

"No. You didn't. You wanted to tell him all about your wonderful night with Johanna. But to do that you would of had to apologize. What an inconvenience for you." She yelled and then stormed out.

I groaned and put my face in my hands. Great, I am now public enemy number one in a house of vampires. Peachy. Just peachy.

Johanna woke up around 10 and came and sat across from me in a chair.

"Gabriel, am I causing you a problem?"

"What? No. Well, it wasn't your fault."

"Do you want me to leave?"

I leaned forward and grabbed her hand, "No. I lost Rhoan and I can't lose you for a third time. That would just kill me, Johanna. I want you here as sure as I want to be here."

She smiled nicely, "Do you feel like this is working out? Is it worth continuing?"

Its only been 2 days and she wants to make a life changing decision?

"Do YOU want to continue this?"

Her eyes burned with a clear intensity, "Yes."

I breathed relief, "So do I."

"Good. Would you come into town with me? I need to enroll in college up here."

She was serious about this lasting a long time.

"Of course I will."

Having her enroll in college here is...great! That means she wants to stay but she isn't just some lovesick girl, she's serious about the rest of her life too.

Johanna and I borrowed Alec and Faine's car, I didn't want to ask Valentina for hers.

First we made a stop at the college, after Johanna had enrolled herself she told me it was a college for art. She wanted to be artist she told me. And I could see her with paint in her hair and her eyes wild with passion for her art. It may not be my style, but I would encourage her. Oh boy, here comes the thing about morals. Just like Rhoan said, I was forgetting everything I once stood for.

After that we were on our way to get more food for Johanna to eat when she just pulled over the car and ran out. I wanted to ask where she was going but she left to fast. I saw her cross the street and run into the local bar.

What is going on? She comes out about 20 minutes later beaming as if she had just discovered Atlantis or something. As soon as we are driving again I ask her what all that was about.

"You, sir, are looking at the newest waitress of that fine establishment." She was so happy.

"That's great?"

"Its a job! Job means money!" She said excitedly.

As if I really needed more of that, but I didn't say so.

"I heard Rhoan arguing with you last night. Do you not want me to buy you different clothes? Or the cell phone?"

I thought for a little bit. 'What's next? Your hair? Then a tattoo? Or how about a piercing?'

"No, it was fine. And you meant well."

"Just tell me." She pleaded.

"Alright. I thought it was weird at first. You had just gotten back and already we were moving into this-"

"I wanted to get past all that stuff so we could just be together and be us." She explained, eyes fixated on the road ahead.

"I understand. I don't mind. it was really very sweet of you. I want to be able to walk down the street holding your hand, and I want you to be proud of me. Whether that means the way I look or act, I don't know."

She picked up my hand and kissed it, "I am proud of you."

She took a sharp turn to the right.

"Where are we going?"

"The mall. Since you don't mind new clothes."

I put on a smile and the next three hours blurred by. I had no idea we were only shopping for me, and it was interesting. Johanna picked out everything. From the simple stuff like grey sweat pants and a white undershirt to board shorts and flip flops to jeans and button down shirts all the way to a nice suit. It was...actually sort of fun. Not like I want to do that every day but it was pleasant and Johanna had a ball choosing my outfits.

Nobody knew what to think when we came home with all those shopping bags, I feel like they thought I murdered a dozen people and brought there maimed bodies home! I wouldn't do that...with Johanna around anyway.

The rest of the day was uneventful. I was kind of hoping that Rhoan would at least tell Jordan he was okay. If he wouldn't talk to me, fine. But he should at least let one of us know he was okay. I'm sorry, Rhoan, I really am. If it had to end, it at least shouldn't have ended that way. Now, I don't really believe in God, but I hope He keeps you safe through your travels and I hope He helps you find your way back to us.

-Gabriel


	64. HAPPY NEW YEAR

HAPPY NEW YEAR...

January 1st, 2013

"5...4...3...2" the entire crowd shouted.

I was shouting with them.

"HAPPY NEW YEAR!" The entire bar screamed.

People whistled and corks popped as champagne was being poured.

"Happy New Year, hun." Johanna says kissing me.

I kiss her back and when she is about to pull away I place my hand on the small of her back to keep her close.

"Awwww how sweet!" Alison says happily.

"More like get a room!" Louis jokes.

I laugh and give Alison a quick kiss on the cheek.

"I think they are sweet. Louis, you wouldn't know sweet if it bit you in the behind." We all laughed.

"I gotta get back to work," Johanna says.

I pouted as she left but she turned around and blew me a kiss.

"What a shame she has to work tonight." Louis adds.

"Yeah it really is," I tell them, "But she likes her work a lot more now that she's bar tending."

Wow, its been a while since I've written. Its been 18 months actually. And so much has happened since then. Johanna is in her 4th year of college and just turned 21 a week ago (I got her an orange jeep wrangler). We had a big party for her, two actually. One with the others at the house and one with our human friends. And me? I'm working too. One guess where. The Seven Deadly Sins. I acquired Rodrick's cell phone number (it was a shock to me as well that he has one) and asked if Reaper wanted some time off tending the bar. And that's how I got my job bar tending. Arion wasn't happy having me back (big surprise!) but Brielle soon put him in his place. Ah, Brielle. She found herself a mate! An Australian boy named Jack but we all call him Ripper. As in Jack the Ripper! Ha!

Rodrick welcomed me back with open arms, just like a loving brother. And I must say I did miss them all, it feels good to see them again. We get along better seeing as I only work a couple nights a week which is good for me when Johanna is working late or is busy with school.

Alison and Louis are our newest friends. Probably our best friends seeing as we usually see them every night! They are humans, yes. Louis is visiting from France, he was just supposed to pass through but really enjoyed our town. Alison is from Virginia and she is going to the same school as Johanna and that's how they met.

Oh speaking of friends, we have yet to hear from Rhoan. I think I gave up about 10 months ago. He never answered my calls or texts, I'm not sure if he ever contacted Jordan either. For all I know he could be lying dead in a ditch right now, but I hope he isn't. I try not to think about him that much because it will usually get me in a mood.

Johanna and I took a couple weekend trips to see her parents, Richard and Susan. They are doing so well and adjusted so perfectly back to their house. Susan said it was weird not having Johanna with them but they were happy she was with me. That just made me even more determined to keep her safe.

My own family...I see them every day but it doesn't feel like it. Its a good thing we don't get older otherwise I probably wouldn't have recognized them even though its only been a year and a half. Valentina forgave me for Rhoan leaving about 2 months after he had left. She acted like such a spoiled brat about it, did she honestly think I wanted him to go? Usually when someone says 'you can deal with it or leave' the person usually deals with it instead of running off. Vera has gotten so big! She looks like a 4 year old now, at least if not bigger! And Sophia will be 2 years old in May but she looks older than that. My little niece looks like Vera but smaller, she's getting so big.

I see Jordan and Josh quite often since I love visiting Sophia. And sometimes I get to visit with everyone else at night when I'm not with Johanna.

Mmmmm I think that's pretty much all I have to say. That's all that has happened. We haven't been on any huge, adventurous quests and nobody has tried to kill us. Things are really quite. I have my Johanna to protect so I'm glad that nothing has tried to attack us, but I do want a fight. Yes I still drink human blood. Its my way of life, I will drink animal blood though, I've come to accept that dirty way of living.

I got pulled back to the present by the sound of laughter and music. Alison and Louis were dancing so I decided to join them. We were fist pumping, head banging and thrashing to the beat and then I felt familiar arms wind themselves around my waist. I turned to face Johanna and wrap her in my arms.

"I got off work early." She smiles.

"That's wonderful! Have you got any ideas up your sleeve?"

Johanna took one look at Alison, "Clubbing!" They both shrieked. Johanna grabbed her coat and purse and we piled into Alison's car. By the time we were done at our 4th club it was almost sunrise. We decided we would spend the morning at Alison's apartment, all of us. As we got out of the car we noticed it was snowing. We loved it, the girls started dancing around in it.

"Its beginning to snow." I say as Johanna leaps into my arms.

"Kiss me," she whispers.

I do. Its warm and slow and wonderful.

And then we are all in Alison's apartment. Alison and Johanna collapse on her couch. Louis was on the floor, and I fell asleep in a big chair.

When I woke up it was 9 o'clock, I started the coffee and tried waking Johanna. She had a class today. But it didn't work so I decided she could just miss her class, it wouldn't kill her. I turned off the coffee and left. I thought a quick stop at the house would be nice then I could go see Rodrick and help...take care of...the humans still there.

I stopped in the main house and wished everyone a happy new year then I went up to Jordan's house and wished her a happy new year as well. She asked where I was off to in such a hurry and I simply replied, "Rodrick's."

She nodded and let me leave.

Yeah, I think it would be cool if they liked hanging out at The Seven Deadly Sins. But I know they wouldn't, its not their style. Plus I kind of like being able to be dark and evil and then not being judged by them.

"I knew you were coming." Ripper says as I walk through the front door.

Ripper was a tall man with blonde hair and brown eyes, they were kind brown eyes that often brought his prey some ease before he killed them.

I followed him towards the back where the rest of my friends were waiting.

"We sent you for drinks and you bring back a visitor." Brielle smiles, "Welcome back, Gabriel." She says pulling me into a hug.

"Yes, welcome." Rodrick says in his voice. To everyone else it just sounds like his king voice, but to me its a brotherly voice.

"Just in time to eat!" Lara chirps.

That made me think of something, "Where is Arion? Could he really not stand me that much?"

Lara cleared her throat.

"Arion is no longer with us, young one." Rodrick says with his head bowed a centimeter more. His eyes deceived his appearance though, they told me that I was chosen over Arion.

"Let's eat then." Says Reaper. I turn around and am face to face with a lovely group of humans.

"Let's," I agree.

The shrieks and feeble attempts take over my mind.

Night was just falling by the time I left. I had gotten a text from Johanna saying that she wouldn't be home until late. That was fine, I'd just go home and hang out with everyone else. Except, when I got home I could smell that no one was home. I guess they all went out hunting together. How stupid I was to not have noticed the scent then.

I took my time getting to the door and getting it open. And when I did, the fire was lit and there was a man sitting in front of it. The man had Josh's height so I thought it was him.

"Hey, Josh."

"Try again, little vampire." Said a familiar voice.

Then the familiar smell of coffee hit me, just as he turned around.

"Rhoan?" I asked excitedly.

I rushed up to him and pulled him into a hug.

He winced a little.

"Oh sorry. Did I hug you too hard?"

"No, no. I got in a bit of a fight with an evil dwarf." He tells me.

"What? Show me." I command.

He pulls off his sweatshirt and sure as hell there was a bloody gash on his arm.

"Come on, I'll fix it." I said pulling him towards the bathroom.

We had some peroxide and stuff like that so I cleaned up his arm and then put a huge bandage over it.

We were talking the entire time. I asked what he had been doing and he simply replied that he would tell me all his stories in good time.

"So that means your staying?" I asked.

"I would like to. It feels like home here."

"Your more than welcome to stay. I want you too."

"Then I will." He says.

"You know, Ro, I never got the chance to apologize for that fight. I'm sorry." I said to him. I was so happy that my best friend was back! And I would do anything to keep him here.

"Its alright, Gabriel. I just wasn't used to the changes in you."

"So I guess they've gotten a lot worse?" Even I knew how much I had changed. I spent most of my time around humans! And I even got a job!

"It has. But as long as your still you it doesn't matter."

Johanna came home then and I introduced her and Rhoan. Rhoan smiled politely and made conversation with her. When she went to bed though, Rhoan and I kept talking.

"Rhoan, I need your help with something."

I described my idea to him and asked what he thought.

"That is a wonderful idea, Gabriel. I think it would be marvelous. And I am more than happy to help in any way possible." He said warmly.

I thanked him and was about to let him get some sleep when there was a high pitched scream and a blur passed by me.

Valentina.

She threw her arms around Rhoan giving him a big hug.

He laughed a bit and shortly behind Valentina were the others welcoming Rhoan back home.

"Are you here to stay then?" Valentina asked.

"I am. And I even brought you a present." He said with a mischievous smile.

He passed Valentina a photo of a real unicorn. It was gorgeous!

"His name is Hercules. Usually unicorns don't like being photographed but I told him it was for a really good friend."

Valentina squealed in delight and gave Rhoan another hug.

"Thank you! Thanks so much!"

I laughed. I felt like we were back 18 months ago, and I liked that feeling. Things would be changing soon, and hopefully they would stay this happy.

-Gabriel


	65. PART 1:GIRLS DAY JOHANNA'S POV

Part 1: GIRLS DAY (Johanna's POV)...

January 3rd, 2013

Dear Diary,

When I was younger, my parents used to buy me diaries to write in. Except, I used to call them journals instead, the word 'diary' always seemed to girly. Anyway, they would buy me all these journals with many pages and bright colors. And each of those journals had a 'J' on the front. I always thought that the 'J' stood for the word 'journal', I didn't realize it stood for my name. I just thought I would share that. It seemed funny and relative since Gabriel bought me a new diary. I haven't had one of the ones with a J on it since I was a little girl and I cried when Gabriel gave me the new one. Its bright blue with a green bird flying away in the top corner and a 'J' in the middle. If you've ever read an older fairy tale then you know that the first letter of the first word in each chapter is capitalized with beautiful carvings. Its not a simple J, its very elegant. Anyway, it has so many pages and I couldn't wait to write in it. So I started flipping through the pages but when I got to the first page there was already writing on it. I got a little angry because everybody knows that the first page of a new notebook/journal is the best part, but then I read what was written on it:

Dear Johanna,

Let your imagination soar and expand as you re account your extraordinary journeys. Let all your feelings and emotions flow all over the pages. Let this diary hold all your secrets that you feel you can't tell anyone. Write down everything that happens to you even if it isn't that happy or if its something that happens everyday because in some way, it has affected you. Everything is important because it makes you feel. It makes you laugh or cry, it makes you scream or smile, it makes you angry or puts you in love. Each feeling is like a spell, so write down all the ingredients that make you feel. Write what makes you happy (I hope I'm one of those things), write what makes you sad. Then find a way to get rid of the sadness and write that too. Your entire life is a journey and yours is only just beginning...

Stand back and take the time to watch, don't rush into things, because you'll want to remember what happens. I hope you fill these pages with extraordinary stories and extraordinary thoughts. My only wish that I ever had for you is that you embrace happiness, enjoy life, and live in love. I'm happy that I've been a part of you for this long, and I hope your just as happy that you will always be a part of me.

I love you. And I always will until death takes me away. But of all the powers and evils in the world love is the strongest of them all. That's the beauty of it. Love lasts through even death.

Live long. Love strong. Laugh hard.

Love forever and longer,

Gabriel

Now you see why I cried, right? Isn't he the sweetest boyfriend ever! Well, 'sweet' is an understatement, he's like my everything. I loved him the minute I saw him even though I knew he would kill me. I just- I knew he couldn't. I wrote that he was my boyfriend before...we've never called each other boyfriend or girlfriend before, we always just say we're together...I kind of like calling him my boyfriend. Boyfriend. Gabriel is my boyfriend.

Ooh! I love that!

Speaking of Gabriel, yesterday he went to some sort of place, I actually don't know where he went to take care of this, but he went to change his last name. It used to be- er, I won't even attempt to spell it I'll end up messing it up so bad lol. Well instead of being Gabriel _, he is now Gabriel Ryan. 'Ryan' was part of his original last name but this new one sounds more modern. Let the record show that I had nothing to do with this, he decided this all on his own.

Diary, I feel like I messed up. I don't think anybody blames me for what happened but I still feel bad, things could have ended badly! What happened was that Valentina and I go to the same college and it was a sunny day. I could have gotten Valentina's photo assignment for her! But that silly girl (love ya, Val!) wanted to go in anyway and she got caught in the sun. All Gabriel would tell me is that Afton is really angry with her and that Rhoan was freaked out for the safety of our family. Well, at the time I didn't know what was happening! So this guy Rick approached me ( if Valentina hadn't pointed him out to me, I would have no idea who he is) and asked if Val was okay and if he could see her, and then he said that he knew of her 'condition'. I kind of wondered why he knew she was a vampire, but I was done with classes for the day so I said sure and we got into my orange jeep wrangler (Gabriel got it for me for my 21st birthday. Thanks, hun!) and drove off. He really wasn't one for conversation so I blasted the radio and he didn't even seem to mind that to much. We got home and I let him in, the rest is a blur. But apparently Rick doesn't know that they're all vampires (except for me and Rhoan). I actually couldn't imagine being a vampire forever. Its too weird! I mean, as Gabriel would say, I like to live. I couldn't stay away from people and from the sun. I couldn't not go to college or see my parents. I cannot even begin to imagine killing people or animals (by sucking their blood). And then there is food! Ah! I love food! Like, if I could marry food, I would! And I think Rhoan agrees with me on that. We're almost always eating or drinking coffee, except, he drinks more coffee than I do and I eat more than he does.

Well! Anyway, I should get back to the story.

So Rhoan wanted to hang out with Gabriel which was fine with me, I could have him to myself tonight since I don't have work. The guys decided they all wanted to hang out and that made me think that I should hang out with the girls! So I texted all of them asking if they were up for a shopping spree. Of course they all said yes! Then I made sure Sophia and Vera would come to instead of having the boys watch them. I mean, we weren't doing serious shopping, plus, when I was a kid and would go shopping that always meant ice cream! And, half vampire or not, everyone likes ice cream! And Sophia being a witch...well, she's still human! I've never known a human that doesn't like ice cream and the day I do is the day I'm 6-feet under! Lol

So everyone met here and we all got into our cars and drove towards the nearest mall. I took Sophia in my car and left Jordan to drive with Lottie and Vera, I was goona take Vera on the way home. Well, as soon as I reached the mall, forget about catching up with the others! I immediately took Sophia to a children's store and bought her 2 things of her choice. And then on the way to meet up with Vera and the girls I saw this really pretty cowboy styled hat made of straw so I bought that for myself and of course Sophia and I needed ice cream! The girls laughed when they saw my cowgirl hat but then said I looked cute in it, Sophia made a sound for attention so we looked to her and started hysterical laughing! I mean, this was rolling on the floor kind of laughter! She had ice cream smeared all over her face, the little cutie. We set off into the mall, credit cards ready to be used and maxed out!

What a trip! We each got so many things that we had a hard time carrying all the bags lol well, I wished everyone a good evening and took Vera with me to my car. She was a real sweetie helping me carry some of my bags. We were just about to leave when I asked her if she wanted ice cream as well.

"Ya know, Vera, We can go get some ice cream if you would like?"

"That would be awesome, Aunt Johanna!" She smiled.

So I took her back to the ice cream stand and we both got chocolate

We had a fun ride home blasting music with the top down and singing off key. It was so much fun! Kids are so great. So I dropped her off home and discovered that Bastien was home as well. That means guy day is over. I said goodnight and drove home. Rhoan was relaxing on the couch drinking coffee and reading that big book.

"Hey! What's up?" I ask.

"Not much. You?"

"Well! Since your doing nothing important perhaps you could go unload the rest of my bags from the car." I suggest with a smile.

Sure, it is just me telling him to go take care of my bags! But I'm a girl and I really want a shower.

"Kay. Bye!" I blurt before he can object. Then I pick up his cup and finish the rest of his coffee.

Rhoan complains but I don't pay attention, "Love ya, Rho!" I mutter.

I really just wanted a shower at this point. Hmmm, Gabriel isn't even around. I wonder where he is.

I took a shower and wrapped myself in a big fluffy towel. I felt warm and clean and comfy. I started wiping the fog away from the mirror when I noticed a little black box sitting on the counter. I picked it up and on the top in silver script letters it said 'Not Yet'.

Where the Hell is Gabriel? What the Hell is this? I quickly changed into skinny jeans, a black t-shirt and ballet flats. Then I put my still wet hair into a messy braid and finished my ensemble with my cowgirl hat.

"Where is he?" I demand from Rhoan. I still have the little black box in my hand.

"I think he's gone for a walk in the forest."

I storm out after him and into the forest, its really pretty there, all the shadows being cast from the sun.

-Johanna


	66. PART 2: A SECOND TRY GABRIEL'S POV

Part 2: A SECOND TRY... (Gabriel's POV)

January 3rd, 2013

The last of the sun's rays were casting shadows all around, bright rays of orange could be seen through the dense trees.

I breathed in the warm evening air and felt the smooth wood of the guitar in my hand.

I heard her coming before I saw her, then before she saw me, I started strumming.

She rounded the nearest trees and we locked eyes for a second before I started singing:

"'Forever can never be long enough for me

To feel like I've had long enough with you

Forget the world now we won't let them see

But there's one thing left to do

Now that the weight has lifted

Love has surely shifted my way

Marry Me

Today and every day

Marry Me

If I ever get the nerve to say "Hello" in this cafe

Say you will

Mm-hmm

Say you will

Mm-hmm

Together can never be close enough for me

Feel like I am close enough to you

You wear white and I'll wear out the words I love you

And you're beautiful

Now that the wait is over

And love has finally shown her my way

Marry me

Today and every day

Marry me

If I ever get the nerve to say "Hello" in this cafe

Say you will

Mm-hmm

Say you will

Mm-hmm

Promise me

You'll always be

Happy by my side

I promise to

Sing to you

When all the music dies

And marry me

Today and everyday

Marry me

If I ever get the nerve to say "Hello" in this cafe

Say you will

Mm-hmm

Say you will

Marry me

Mm-hmm...'"

My fingers strummed the final chord and Johanna and I held each others gaze for a moment.

Owls hooting, crickets chirping, leaves rustling became our music, the world was full of it. Johanna had took off her hat a while ago and she stood there with the breeze pushing her hair into her eyes.

"Ask me," she whispers.

I place the guitar on the ground and slowly walk until I am right in front of her, looking down into her beautiful green eyes. My own eyes had lost their red violence and turned green this morning.

As the sun was setting I got down on one knee and took the black box from Johanna.

The world seemed to stop, everything was quite.

"Johanna Blake, will you marry me?"

The sky exploded! Royal reds, vibrant oranges and golden yellows painted the sky behind us. I opened the lid of the box to expose a simple silver ring with a huge diamond on it. The only other mark taking over the untouched silver were little vines surrounding the diamond.

Johanna brought her hand to her mouth and tears rolled from her eyes.

She nodded. And nodded again. Then she fell into my arms crying, "I will!"

I tilted her head up and brought my mouth on hers. The taste of her mixed with her tears was enough to make me wish I could cry. She had said yes. I couldn't believe it. Well, I could but it just seemed so much like a fantasy. It seemed like to much of a gift. I realized then that I had been right, love is the strongest of all powers. It lasts even through death, which I have experienced more than once. I felt warm all over and it seemed that if I were to die now... it would be alright. Johanna had said yes...she wanted to be mine and only mine.

"I love you," I whispered against her lips.

"And I love you." She smiled.

I took her hand and placed the ring gently onto her finger.

She giggled and smiled and hugged me. I lifted her up and spun her around. We kissed again and intertwined our fingers.

"I think we should tell the others," Johanna says.

"Anything you wish, Mrs. Ryan."

I was happy. Completely and irrevocably happy. Nothing could make this day better, and nothing can ruin it.

We followed the beaten path back to the house and gazed in appreciation. The windows were bright with light and the house was full of laughter. The house itself was a happy memory but the way it was found...it reminds me of a family gone off to war only to come back years later to find everything destroyed except for their home. This was our safe haven from Volterra. Well, everyone else's first, the only reason I joined up is because at the time they seemed to have the most to offer. And they do, have a lot to offer I mean. Friendship, laughter, good memories, they are family. They've had my back since we met and I'll be there for them as well.

Johanna pulls me towards the door and we walk in. I have such a smile on my lips! None of them knew this was happening today except for Rhoan! In fact, Rhoan played a big part of this and I was glad he wanted me to marry Johanna.

Rhoan is on the couch drinking coffee and listening to Valentina talk about what she got when the girls went shopping. I catch Rhoan's gaze and I see a smile in it which gets bigger when I nod my head slightly.

"Where have you two been?" Faine asks lightly.

"Getting engaged." I say.

There is some silence.

"To each other?" Jordan asks.

"No, Jordan. To complete and total strangers." Johanna replies sarcastically.

There is some silence and then everyone is up and congratulating us. I lost Johanna's hand when the girls rushed over to her with high pitched giggles. They were musing over her engagement ring. Meanwhile, I was shaking hands and being hugged.

"Its about time, old man." Rhoan smiles.

Everyone agrees with him.

The girls switch with the guys. Now I'm receiving hugs and being told that the ring is beautiful. On the other side of the room I hear Demetri hug Johanna and say that he's always wanted another sister.

This is going to be great. Johanna and I will walk down the aisle together with church bells ringing, we will go on a long honeymoon and build a house when we get back. The most important part of this is that we are going to live happily ever after together forever. And that's all that matters.

Things settle down and we sit in the living room together. Johanna and I stand by the fireplace and Rhoan clears his throat.

"So I started planning the ceremony. I was thinking of the vows and-"

"No," I say.

"What? But I'm the priest, I'm supposed to-"

"No," I repeat.

"Instead of 'until death do us part' I was thinking-"

"No," I say again.

"GABRIEL! I don't understand! I left 'until death do us part' out of it, you don't have to be married in a church if I marry you-"

"Yeah, but then who would be my best man?" I say warmly.

"Yeah, well-" Rhoan babbles. A huge grin spreads on his face as my words sink in.

"Best man?" He asks in disbelief.

"I couldn't think of anyone else I'd rather have standing up there with me when I say 'I do'."

Rhoan pushes himself off the couch to give me a hug.

"Oh my god! I can't believe I'm a best man!" We all laugh at Rhoan's excitement.

-Gabriel


	67. DETAILS

DETAILS...

January 10th, 2013

Johanna and I are still getting married. I don't know why I thought she would call it off, but I did. And thank god she hasn't. Johanna made it perfectly clear that she wanted to wait until she graduated from college first, and I completely understood! As a matter of fact, I was proud of her for wanting to finish school first. And since it was for such a good cause, I was willing to wait a few months.

Er-Johanna and I actually argued about the wedding.

She came down one night after getting ready for bed and said she had already found her wedding dress. I thought that was wonderful but I didn't want to see it, the groom shouldn't see the dress before the wedding. But I agreed to see it since she really wanted my opinion. Johanna pulled a photo from behind her back and held it in front of me...

"Isn't it beautiful?" She squealed in delight.

It...was very nice looking. But it simply was not a wedding dress! It was thin and strapless and...RED! RED IS NOT THE COLOR OF A WEDDING DRESS! Its fine for a gown or something for a party but...not for a wedding.

So all I could think to say was, "I thought we wanted a traditional wedding?"

I kind of wanted to shout it at her, but i didn't want to hurt her feelings.

But I could tell that I wasn't successful...she was upset.

"Well, that was before I saw this dress and before I thought that I could have my bridesmaids wear black dresses."

Oh my god, NO! This is not a funeral! Grrrrrrrr!

"Really Johanna? So what would Rhoan wear? A pink tuxedo jacket? And I? Would I wear a sparkly red one?"

She cringed from my attitude.

"Why can't my bridesmaids wear black if your grooms men get to?" She yelled.

"Because its not traditional!"

"To hell with traditional! I'm not a traditional girl!"

"Well I'm a traditional man! You only get married for a first time once in your life. Don't you want to do it right?"

"Are you saying I would be doing it wrong?"

"Maybe. All I want is a big white dress, the bridesmaids in color, flowers everywhere in a church and me and my grooms men in black. Is that too much to ask for?"

She pauses and we have a stare off, "Yes. Yes it is!" She screams at me and runs up the stairs.

For a couple seconds I'm quietly just sitting there staring into space, but then the quiet feels so deafening. I get up and walk outside into the pouring rain, and then I just lay there feeling the water soak into my hair and into my clothes.

I guess it was about four hours later when I heard Johanna down stairs, she flung open the front door and called out to me.

Being the kind person that I am, I went to her so she wouldn't have to get all wet coming to me.

"What? Shouldn't you be in bed? Its past 5 ya know"

"I'm not a child, Gabriel. I'm 21 years old."

I saw her holding another picture behind her back.

"Now what?" I gesture towards it.

"You said you wanted a big white dress and all that crap so here." She shoved the paper into my face.

She was wearing the red strapless dress again but there was also a big white wedding dress there...as a matter of fact, their were six, all the same.

I turned around and stormed back out into the rain. It was coming down heavier than before. To my surprise, Johanna followed after me. Not surprisingly, she didn't bother to get a coat or shoes.

"When I said I wanted a big white wedding dress, I meant that I wanted it on you! And FYI, Johanna, black is for a funeral!" I yelled over the storm. She was running to keep up with me.

"Yeah. I know-"

I turned on her so fast that she ran into me.

I grabbed her forearms holding her close to me. As she struggled to get me to let go, I watched the rain drops catching in her soaking wet hair and then sliding down her face. Even while standing next to death, she still looked beautiful, and not to afraid.

"But if you think marrying me would be your funeral than just say so and we can call off the wedding!" I threatened.

She hesitated.

She freakin hesitated! What the hell is that about?

"Oh," I say slowly, angrily, "I see."

I run off into the woods, Johanna calling my name and begging me to stop.

What could I have done to prevent this? I think while dodging branches and up turned roots. I end up by the river Johanna almost drowned in.

I heard twigs snapping and branches bending behind me, Johanna was trying to follow.

I jump across the river since no person would go near where they almost very nearly died...no person except Johanna.

She watched me standing across her from the other side of the river.

"Gabriel, come talk to me!" She pleads.

I turn my back and start walking away when she yells, "If you don't come to me then I guess I'll have to come to you!"

One of my fears came rushing back to me:

It was a night just like tonight. Stormy and dark, raining and cold. So cold. I heard a song no louder than a whisper and found a girl who looked like a corpse. Skin as white as snow and lips blue like ice. Her lips trembled to form the words she wanted to sing and icicles formed on her eye lashes that wanted to close forever. But she wouldn't give up, barely, just barely, she made it out alive.

I heard leaves rustle beneath her feet and the air rush around her body as she took a running leap.

I let the animal in me run loose, I let my desire for her take over. In less than a second I whirled around and leapt across the river aiming for her small body.

I caught her in my arms and before she knew what was happening I twisted my body so that I would land on the ground and she wouldn't be hurt.

My head hit the ground hard and that wasn't the worst part. I felt blood seeping through my shirt, I had been stabbed by a branch when we landed.

Johanna lifted her head from my chest and looked into my eyes.

"I knew you wouldn't let me fall," she whispered.

She pushed my wet hair off my forehead.

"Never forget that. I will ALWAYS be here for you."

I looked into her beautiful green eyes and she leaned in for a kiss. Her soft lips brushed mine playfully and I went for them as she pulled away but the branch pulled through me. I let out a groan of pain as the wood splintered inside me.

"What's wrong?" Johanna asked while feeling my body for the source of my pain.

She found it before I had to reply. She flinched at its sharpness, I groaned again at the vibration it sent through my body. The branch itself was about as thick as Johanna's wrist and went through my ribs. Thankfully it didn't damage anything important, not that it would kill me but still.

She starts freaking out as she realizes how thick it is.

"Johanna, your going to need to get it out-"

She tried pulling it but it was stuck in the ground too and ended up hurting me instead. I yelled a little.

"Oh! Sorry! So sorry!"

"Its okay. Try and break it," I say with my teeth clenched.

She tries not to move the branch too much but she's nervous, her hands are shaking.

"This isn't working. Just break it. Don't even worry about hurting me. Just do it." I grumbled.

"Okay. One...two...-"

"JOHANNA!" I shout, "Don't let me know when-"

"THREE!" And she breaks the piece in half.

"HOLY HELL, FOR GODS SAKE, WHAT THE-"

The strand of obscenities goes on a bit.

"Okay. What can I do to make it better?"

"Blood. I need blood." I open my eyes and they are that glowing vampire red again.

She lifts her wrist to my mouth but I push it away.

"Not your blood."

"It would be better for you. Just take it." She shoves her wrist back towards my lips.

I can smell her blood running hot and fast just below the thin surface of skin. I open my mouth and let my fangs graze over her blue vein, not hard enough to break the skin but tempting enough to let venom fill my mouth. I shove Johanna backwards, maybe a little too hard but I needed space. I use my shape shifting ability to take Jacob Black's form and from there I change into a wolf. Wolves have a fast healing ability, and I really need that now.

I shift onto my side and stand up on all fours. The fur on my chest and belly is matted with blood. I search for an animal, any kind, to help heal me. I find a rabbit hiding from the rain and tear into its small body, the blood I get is hardly enough but my healing process has begun.

"Gabriel?"

My ears prick up as Johanna comes closer to me. Now, I may currently be a wolf but I'm craving human blood and I will not hurt her. Anyone but her. I dash away from her and into a cave not far away. I find a bear awakening. I keep in wolf form until I bite into its arm. That bit of blood gives me a new power. I resume my vampire form again and fight with the bear. I end up killing the poor creature by wrapping my arms around its ribs and squeezing. As the creature drowns to death in its own blood I drink from its neck.

After I finished the last drop I leaned against the cave wall and felt the tingling of my flesh healing. A small smile played on my blood covered face.

Johanna was at the entrance of the cave looking to see if the bear was dead. I laugh and pat the dirt next to me, "Its dead. Come on in."

She sits next to me, "Well, your in a good mood for almost dying."

I laugh again, "It was fun. I kind of enjoyed that, its like an exhilarating rush."

She smiles sadly and grabs my hand, "I didn't mean to hesitate before. I just thought you already knew the answer: that I want to marry you. I want to call you mine only and no one elses."

"No, Johanna. I'm sorry. I just- you kind of-"

I take a breath and start over, "You only get married once for real. And I feel that you would be missing out on something if you didn't go the whole nine yards. Besides, red and black are such vampire colors and you'll have forever to wear them."

Johanna's smile falls, "Gabriel, I don't want to be a vampire."

"What?" Seriously, my brain wasn't even functioning then!

"I thought you knew that? I don't want to become a vampire."

I was completely shocked, "B-but, don't you want to spend forever with me?"

She closes her eyes and places my hand on her heart, "Do you feel that? Its beating for one reason and one reason only: You." She moves my hand to her cheek, "Do you feel how warm I am? That's because every time your near me I blush and my blood runs fast in anticipation of your touch, your smile, your voice."

She pulls my hand away and kisses each of my fingertips, "Isn't what I have left of my life enough for you?"

"Johanna, I don't care if your skin is hot or cold. I don't care if your heart really beats or if it stands still for all eternity. I know you love me just as you know I love you, and I don't need proof of that. You saying it is proof enough."

I run my thumb in little circles on the back of her hand.

"You always say how you wish you were human, why do you wish for me to be a vampire then?"

"Because spending forever with you is the only thing that makes eternity bearable."

"Eternity on earth isn't the only thing that awaits you. Think of the eternity that lies in heaven."

I didn't answer.

"Is it enough then? Can you marry a human and live with her that way until she dies?" Johanna whispers against my cheek.

"Only if I can die with her."

She moves her mouth to my ear, "God has a plan for you, for all of us. If He wishes for you to die with me then you will, but you need to promise me that you will not commit suicide. It isn't time for you yet, God has plans for you down here, just as your family needs you too. Think of Sophia and of Vera, think of Rhoan and all the other vampires that wish harm to the world. Think of them before you want yourself dead."

"I promise," I whisper against her lips. She gives me a couple light kisses then she runs playfully out of the cave. I know I have an advantage over her so I take my human form and run after her.

"Where are you, Johanna?" I call.

"Come find me!" She yells back.

It was fun searching for her but I wasn't to good at it so I let the vampire in me take over. I ran towards her and hid in the branches of a tree. Just as she was running past, I dangled on one of the branches and caught her waist. I pulled my laughing beauty into the branches with me. I pressed her against the tree trunk with my hands on both sides of her so she won't fall.

"I know you changed into a human before. Don't. I never want you as anything other than what you are."

I nod.

The rain stops pouring down and we smile. Ha! I had even lost track of time. The sun began to rise as Johanna and I stood in a tree. It was a wonderful view, a magical one. The sun was a bright orange is it came over the horizon, and the little water droplets everywhere shone with little rainbows.

"I didn't realize we were up all night." I say.

Johanna is mesmerized by the sunrise. I would have stayed there with her but she started shaking, she was so cold. I had forgotten how wet we were. I scoop Johanna into my arms and run her back to the house. We both go into my room and I give her new pajamas to change into. While she changes in the bathroom, I put on sweat pants in the room. She comes out with a hairbrush to get the tangles out of her hair. I take the brush from her as she sits on the edge of the bed. Slowly and carefully I brush her hair. And when that is done she crawls under the covers and leans against my chest.

"Can you do something for me?" She yawns, "I want to see every place that made you feel scared or angry or happy. Can we do that?"

"Yes we can." I whisper.

I continue rubbing Johanna's shoulder and she drifts off to sleep.

-Gabriel


	68. LETS HIT THE ROAD JOHANNA'S POV

LETS HIT THE ROAD...(Johanna's POV)

February 1st, 2013

Dear Diary,

As Gabriel promised we would, we have started our trip to every place that has made him feel. I'm not exactly sure what made me want to see these places, I guess I feel that I will understand Gabriel more if I know what has had a big impact on him.

It took me a while to convince my boss to let me off work for 3 months. Well, dude, I don't know how long we'll be gone so I took off extra just in case! Then Gabriel had to say goodbye to Sophia and Vera a billion times, saying that he would definitely be coming back and that we were going on a pre-wedding. Vacation. It was really sweet how much he cares about those two girls, and how gentle he was with them. Poor Sophia, I think she thought we were leaving for good! We said extra goodbyes to the girls and then we took off to the airport with only one back pack. We weren't going to be in one place for too long and I really don't need that much crap slowing us down. Our first stop was actually my home. Fairview, Pennsylvania. I didn't want my parents knowing I was in town, after all, I was on a mission! But Gabriel insisted we at least spend one night at their house. I am so glad that they love him! They are probably waiting until he proposes to me! Speaking of that, I still have to tell them lol I can't believe I waited this long!

I knock on the door of my parents house and am greeted by my father.

"Daddy!" I rush into his arms and feel the familiar warmth of his hugs. My dad gives the greatest hugs that make you feel at home and safe.

"So its happened then?" He asks.

"What has, daddy?" I reply pulling away.

"Gabriel has proposed, right?"

I stare with my mouth open in shock. But-? How-? I didn't tell him or even show him my ring yet!

"You knew?" I say in shock.

I turn around and lightly smack Gabriel in the arm.

"Of course. Gabriel called me and asked for my blessing."

Aww! I didn't know who to hug first! I reached for my dad and cried my tears of joy onto his shirt.

"I love you, Daddy."

"And I love you too, sweet pea."

"I love you, Gabriel." I say moving into my fiancés arms.

He kisses my forehead and wraps his arms tight around me.

"Dad! I can't believe you knew!" I giggle.

Gabriel and my father laugh at me and we are invited inside to catch up and talk about the wedding.

Later that night, after my parents had gone to bed, Gabriel knocked on my bedroom door and told me to come with him. I put on cute bunny slippers and Gabriel carried me threw town. We ended up where Gabriel and I first met.

I stand on the hard dirt and look around. Time seems to have stopped here. It all looks exactly the same as when I last saw it. The moon looked the same, the branches and bushes looked the same.

"It feels weird to be standing in the same place that I almost died in." I say.

"Actually, you were standing here." He points at the ground beneath his feet.

"Oh," I go over to where he is standing and stand where he told me I had almost died in.

"Oh!" I say again, but this time with more realization, "Your right! It definitely feels weird standing here!"

He let's out a nervous laugh.

"So is this supposed to be a place that made you feel something significant? Or am I supposed to feel something?" I question.

"Uh, both? I felt warm here, when I met you. For the first time in- well, since I was about seven- I felt alive and happy. And it was all because I had seen you."

I blush a little.

"Even before you told me you wanted to be taken away, I knew that I loved you."

I blush even more. My cheeks are red red now.

"So this is a happy place?" I say.

"Sort of. Its happy because I first saw you here. But every place is a happy place as long as you are standing there with me."

I reach my arms out for him to hold me. He holds me like a father might hold a frightened child, with love and warmth and comfort.

I kiss his hand, "The terror of this place is now gone. Its fled from the sight of love."

Gabriel smiles at my interesting ways of banishing his dark memories. And I smile back at the love filling his eyes.

As Gabriel is running us back to the house I start thinking of my birthday and then of his birthday. I kind of don't know much human things about him.

"Gabriel, when is your birthday?"

"I don't remember." He snaps back.

I decide not to ask any more questions about that then.

We slip back into the house and go our separate ways until the morning when we all wake up and say goodbye to my parents. I hug them both tightly and tell them I will see them very soon for the wedding. Our next stop, Gabriel tells me, is Italy.

Volterra, Italy.

I have learned that after I was assumed dead, Gabriel was hunted by this elite group of vampire kings who did not like the fact that he was going around killing everyone without discretion. Here he could kill and do dark deeds within the limits of the vampire kings but with no limitations as to the way he could kill. I understand his need for freedom, what I don't understand is the way he expresses his freedom with death. Why not go help a third world country instead? Or something like that? Why bring more suffering to the world? If suffering drove him to be a vampire then wouldn't he want to prevent suffering for others and in turn limit the desire and appeal of vampire-ism? I'm not just saying that Gabriel is doing that, I'm talking about all (or most) vampires.

Anyway, Gabriel brought me to this lovely and grand palace almost in the middle of town. The place was huge! A stone building with high cathedral ceilings and ornate carvings. He pushed open the large double doors and we slipped inside. It was kind of like stepping into a deserted dream. The hall was lined in dust and cobwebs littered the corners. The luscious reds of the carpets were worn and dimmed and the stone walls were dank.

"It used to be a powerful place," I say.

Gabriel walks down the halls and I follow him.

We reach what I assume is the main hall, I think that because of all the portraits lining the walls. I actually recognize some of the vampires there: Chelsea and Afton, Felix and Katy, Alec and Jane (her name still sends shivers down my spine). There are so many other pictures as well...and so many other people. All these faces start to blend together and make one giant face of fear and terror. But it might be the fear and terror that makes me so curios. One portrait I really like is of three powerful looking vampires standing on a balcony. They have piercing red eyes and the one with his hand on the railing has long black hair and eyes filled of amusement. The other two behind him look slightly less amused, one with wavy blonde hair and a young face the other with wavy dark hair and older features.

"Aro, Caius, and Marcus. Our forefathers and creators. They are our kings." He pauses and closes his eyes, "Were. They were our kings."

Besides their eyes, there is one other captivating part of the portrait: a man standing in the background. Blonde hair and kind golden eyes, a manner of respect but polite detachment- oh! That's Carlisle! I would know that kind face anywhere! According to Chelsea you couldn't mistake him for anyone else in the whole world, you would know him as soon as you met him.

"Carlisle Cullen." Gabriel confirms.

I turn my attention to the other side of the hall were there is another set of double doors.

Gabriel brushes away the cobwebs and pushes the doors inward. Air rushes out and I follow him inside. This room seems to be even worse than the front hall! The dust is heavier, the colors have drained. Everything is dark and in tatters...

"My god! Its like a giant tomb."

"You don't even know," Gabriel says sadly, "Its seems that time has frozen still here. The world will move outside but here it all stops."

And he is right. I could get lost in the emptiness and lack of color.

I observe the windows high above and stone benches low to the ground. Gabriel walks up to the three thrones at the back of the room and sits in the middle one.

"This was Aro's chair," he calls out, "He was the leader out of the three. He liked to collect talents. No two vampires here had the same talent, he wouldn't allow it."

I step forward, the sounds of footsteps echo off the walls.

"And what crimes could you be punished of?" I ask.

"Ruining the secret. Being obvious. Being stupid."

"How so?"

"We only have one rule, Johanna: Keep our kind a secret. As long as no armies are raised, vampires remain a scary story, and humans are still in plenty, all is well."

"Seems practical enough," I sit on the floor in front of him.

"But that's just it! We're vampires! We shouldn't have to abide to practicality!" He says in an angered voice.

"This place makes you tense."

"Yes. But I love this place. As you said earlier it holds great power. This was the home I desired when I had none. A home in which I could do whatever I wanted. I feel guilty for their death. What if they somehow come back to life and seek revenge? Why wouldn't they seek it on me? I had as much a hand in their death as the others." He says worried.

I get up and hold his face in my hands, stroking his cheeks.

"I'm not going to let them take you away from me. I love you. If, and I say IF, they somehow come back, then we'll think of something. We'll be ready for them."

"You don't understand, Johanna. They would kill you just for knowing vampires exist! I might not be able to stop them."

"You would. I know it."

Gabriel's green eyes search mine, "You've been taken from me so many times already and I don't think I could bear it to happen again."

I hold onto his waist for a while and then ask him to show me the rest of the castle.

I get to see Aro's secret laboratory, and Gabriel's room. Gabriel also reveals that he had a vivid vision of me walking into a river close by. He takes me there but it doesn't feel familiar to me, not even like I could have dreamed it.

All the time I got Gabriel to smile and laugh so when we left I could say, "All worries are gone from the sound of our laughter, we laughed them away from this place and from your mind."

Fingers laced, we travel to Romania. Now this place, I can tell that it has Gabriel on edge. He fed several times before getting there and even stopped breathing. I was expecting the scariest, ugliest, most terrifying thing possible, but instead I got a cute castle. It had ivy climbing the walls and weeping willows around the grounds.

"This should definitely be our vacation house after we're married!" I squeal.

"No. Over my un-dead body." He growls. And I know not to mess with him anymore.

Gabriel's eyes were fixed on the lowered drawbridge, they were wide in fear. I squeezed his hand to let him know that I was still here and that I wouldn't leave him. I dragged Gabriel across the bridge and into the building.

"Tell me where I am." I say.

I'm very curious as to what has my almost husband so terrified. And I'm more than excited to banish this memory from him.

"This is Kali's castle. My maker's home."

Kali. That name rings a bell. I get this image of a very thin, tall woman. She has blonde hair with sparkles in it and lavender colored eyes.

I gasp, "I dreamt of her! She was the one torturing you."

Gabriel is a little surprised that I knew her, especially since we had so many shared dreams while he was trapped here.

"What was it like for you?" I ask, "It felt like I was out of my own body and just watching this."

"It felt like I was dead." Then he asks a question, "How did you know what to say all those times?"

I shake my head, "I don't know. Its like I knew all of it. I knew that if you got rid of her heart and left her to burn in the sunlight you would be free. I think I dreamt that too actually."

"You never cease to amaze me, Johanna." A smile! Yes! Its good to know that even in a place that he has grown to fear and hate I am the one thing that can make him smile.

I force Gabriel to show me everything. Diary, I do mean everything! There were a few things he wanted to hide from me but I wouldn't let him get away with that. We ended our tour at the very spot where Gabriel watched the morning sun turn Kali's body into a pile of ashes.

How fitting that she died in the sunrise and that I will banish her with the sunset.

Before Gabriel knows what hits him, I jump up wrapping my legs around his torso, throw my arms around his neck and pull him into a kiss. It was full of passion and love, light but with a teasing hint. When I finally pulled away, Gabriel immediately brought my mouth back to his.

Diary, I lost track of time lol. I couldn't have told you how long we were like that if I tried! Lol plus, you really don't need to know

"The last of the darkness is gone, we've chased it away with the light of our love and the light of the life we live. For all the doubts she had about you, make that light brighter, to drive her further into the darkness."

"I'm afraid that she might be able to come back. She was really powerful-"

"Yeah? Well look who is dead now and who isn't?" I say playfully. I put a little force into it so he would know that I was speaking the truth. Gabriel laughed and took my hand in his, leaving the last of his worries behind.

"A happy place?" I ask as we walk towards the airport.

"I guess. When they weren't forcing me to grow up or get married it was an okay place."

"That means-"

"We're going to Russia. My home in Staraja."

-Johanna


	69. LETS HIT THE ROAD Johanna's POV2

LETS HIT THE ROAD...continued(Johanna's POV)

February 20th, 2013

Dear Diary,

I'm really excited to finally see where Gabriel came from and to learn why he is the way he is.

The plane lands and then we have to take a car for 2 hours. I don't mind really. And as the city turns into country I begin to see why Gabriel loves it here. Gabriel tells me that his town hasn't much changed since the 1300s except that there are more houses and new stores.

I think about asking where we will stay but it doesn't really matter, we'll think of something.

Gabriel seems to be in a far away place as we walk through the town. Its quaint shops and kind people captivate me as us newcomers must captivate them. We enter a few of the antique shops, Gabriel being detached the entire time. I don't say anything to him, maybe he's reminiscing.

Its beginning to get dark so I ask Gabriel if we can get something to eat.

Without hesitating, he takes me down the street to a really nice outdoor restaurant. As I'm eating he says, "This was my favorite place to eat back in those days. It was so simple and so..." He searches for the right word, "It just wasn't home."

"So it was like a tavern?" I ask between bites.

"No 'like'. It was a tavern."

"Oh, okay." I say while concentrating on my food again.

We sit in silence as I eat something native to Russia. I didn't ask what I was eating and I'm not really sure I want to know what it is lol.

After I ate, we started walking down the streets. Soon, Gabriel stopped short. I was about to ask what it was when he scooped me into my arms and ran me down the streets and over a hill.

"Its here! I can't believe its still here!" Gabriel keeps repeating.

"What is?" I ask as he sets me down backwards.

"My home." He spins me around to stare at the monstrous mansion looming over me. It. Was. Gorgeous! The exterior not only radiated beauty and elegance, but it radiated that feeling of home.

"I can't believe they kept it and in such great shape too!" Gabriel is as excited as a kid in a candy store. I'm happy for him, but I can't help but feel a little lost.

"They?"

"My brothers. Filip and Yasha. And then their sons, and the sons of their sons." I smiled at how much he seemed to love the house.

"Is it safe for us to stay in? The wood isn't rotted or anything?"

"Of course its safe!" He pushes open the front doors, "Its fairly new wood and paint, but it looks exactly the same as when I last saw it."

Gabriel gave me the grand tour, and told me about his siblings that I didn't know he had. Gabriel let's me stay in his younger sister, Galina's, room while he stays in his own room.

For some reason, Diary, I didn't sleep well that night. Whether it was the time difference or the feeling of unease from his new mood, I couldn't be sure. I was haunted by Gabriel's past, a past I knew nothing about.

The next morning I woke up to the sound of the lawn being mowed. Immediately I knew that Gabriel was the one doing it, and a part of me wondered if he was up first thing in the morning waiting outside the store until it would open so he could buy a lawn mower. I peeked my head out the window, and sure enough, there he was pushing the machine across the yard.

Since my beloved was in his own little world making his home the pride of Russia, I decided not to bother him and instead got dressed and went into town for breakfast. It was a lovely morning and everyone greeted me with great kindness.

I used my very limited russian vocabulary to ask for eggs and milk. But instead I got 3 chickens and a goat...

My only question is why? I said nothing about goats! At least...I'm almost positive about that.

So I took my 3 chickens and 1 goat and walked back to Gabriel's house. I found him sitting in the kitchen.

"Alright. What did I do wrong?"

He let's out a laugh, a wonderful laugh. Its deep and sensitive, his whole heart is behind it.

"What exactly did you say, love?"

Love. He called me love. Gabriel makes my heart melt and re-melt over and over again, he really is too sweet.

I repeat what I said to the guy at the diner.

Again, Gabriel let's out a deep laugh, "Oh, Johanna," my name sounds beautiful when he says it, "That's not how you ask for a plate of scrambled eggs and a glass of milk. You really did ask for 3 chickens and a goat." He laughs and I stare at the animals with a look of dumbfounded- ness on my face.

"Well, hey." He pulls me into his lap, "You can still get eggs and milk from these animals, you just gotta work a little harder."

So I did just that. Gabriel helped me build a little chicken coop and shelter for the goat, then I was able to get my food and odd goat milk. After I was done with the animals, I planted some flowers and got rid of weeds.

When all that was done Gabriel looked perfect and ready to do it again...I looked sweaty and dirty and was about to pass out from exhaustion. I took a shower and changed into some sweat pants and a tank top, ready for bed! But Gabriel was wearing nice pants and a nice shirt.

"Are you going somewhere? Are WE going somewhere?" I ask curious.

"I want to go visit my daughter...and wife...and brother...I want you to come with me."

I was kind of shocked. Well, shouldn't he do that alone? Why would he want me to be there? Its his first time back sine 1390 and I would have thought that he would have liked some privacy. But maybe he's scared?

"Sure." I reply slowly, "Let me just put on something more appropriate for visiting a grave." I slowly turn and walk back up the staircase. I choose a strapless midnight blue colored dress and I let my hair fall over my shoulders.

When I came downstairs Gabriel was still happy, smiling even! But I wasn't sure how long this would last and what kind of mood would soon be approaching me. I guess all I could hope for was the best. Gabriel led me out the back door and into a nearby forest. The forest gave way to a field and just beyond that field was a weeping willow tree, and next to that tree were tombstones. Gabriel was still happy, that is, until we stood right in front of the graves and read the names:

Natalia Ryashubinski

Catia Ryashubinski

Nikolai Ryashubinski

Gabriel collapsed onto the dirt in front of Catia's grave. He said a whole bunch of stuff in russian and the only words I understood were 'love', 'Natalia' and 'Catia'.

Well, how was I supposed to feel? I felt like an intruder, like I didn't belong there. It felt rude to be standing in the back, not saying anything, not even knowing what to think or who they were! All I knew about them was that they were Gabriel's brother, wife, and daughter.

Catia I could at least imagine. In my shared dreams with Gabriel she was often there with us, smiling and happy to see her father. It actually felt weird to imagine Gabriel being married and having a daughter from so long ago.

I felt really rude and I felt like God was going to smite me if I didn't say something nice so I started talking to them all in my head.

'Hello, Catia, Nikolai, Natalia-'

Thunder rumbled overhead.

'I'm so sorry that you were taken from the world so young and so violently. I didn't know any of you-'

Clouds rolled in and lightning crackled.

'But Gabriel loved you-'

Rain started pouring in buckets on me.

'And any family of Gabriel's is family of mine-'

Lightning strikes right behind me, I was able to feel the electricity off it.

I was scared. Something tells me that someone doesn't want me here. So I leave. Gabriel was so sad and so quiet that I didn't want to tear him from his family. So I left by myself. Well, as soon as I got home the storm stopped. How curious is that? I thought about going back to their graves but as soon as I set foot outside lightning strikes right in front of me. The sudden bolt sends me running back into the house. Fine. I wasn't wanted there. I would just go to bed then.

So I did, only, Gabriel hadn't come home yet. Well he is a creature of the night, I shouldn't worry about him.

When I woke up the next morning, Gabriel still wasn't home and I was beginning to wonder if Gabriel had spent the entire night out.

I tried leaving the house to go find Gabriel, but, like yesterday, lightning would strike, heavy fog would roll in, or a storm would start. So I went back inside and fixed myself some breakfast. I got a crappy, unhealthy breakfast since I couldn't reach my goat and chickens. Just as I was finishing my cereal, Gabriel opened and closed the back door and came in.

"Hi," I say with my mouth full.

"Goodmorning," he says in reply.

There is quite the bit of awkward silence between us.

"In case you were wondering, I was out all night. And I was at their graves."

"I wasn't wondering. And I trust you...in case you were wondering." I snap.

...That was our first real fight since becoming engaged...I don't like fighting with Gabriel. I did trust him, but I can't believe he thought I didn't trust him! Who does he think I am?

"Go change your clothes. Your all wet." I say and focus on my food again.

For a minute he just stands there watching me, and then he turns and goes up the stairs.

I didn't like being mad at him but he started it! He really did, Diary! What was I supposed to do?

I didn't see Gabriel for a while, I thought maybe he'd gone hunting.

So I changed into my yellow bikini, took a towel, and laid out in the back yard. Thunder rumbled a little.

"Oh, hush, Natalia." I grumbled. The thunder stopped and I laid down for a long peaceful session of tanning. My mistake.

About 30 minutes after I first sat down, a shadow loomed over me.

I had just enough time to open my eyes and see Gabriel before my face was smothered in kisses and his body was pressing mine to the ground.

"Johanna," kiss, "I am," kiss, "so sorry." Kiss.

His body felt warm against mine, his lips soft.

I kissed him back and mumbled forgiveness against his lips.

Merrr-well, again, the next event is thanks to Natalia...

Rain started pouring down on top of us. Lightning crackled. Wind blew trees from side to side.

Gabriel pulled back to help me up, but that wouldn't work. I was going to show Natalia once and for all that he is mine!

I pulled his lips back down on mine! And, of course, he didn't object.

But Natalia, of course, did. A nearby tree was lit on fire. Gabriel attracts fire like honey attracts bees so we ran into the house.

But I knew Natalia would still be angry, cue more anger.

I shoved Gabriel onto the couch and started kissing his face, his lips, his fingers.

The house shook as our kisses became more passionate. But I wasn't going to stop, Gabriel was my love, my heart. I've fought for him before and will do it again. But Gabriel pulled apart when lightning struck the house. He ran to go put it out, and I silently cursed Natalia.

"God dammit, Natalia! If you want me then you'll have me tonight!"

-Johanna


	70. LETS HIT THE ROAD Johanna's POV3

LET'S HIT THE ROAD...Part 3

(Johanna's POV)

March 1st, 2013

Dear Diary,

That night I put on a sweatshirt and jeans and walked out the back door. Gabriel was busy repairing the house and I wanted Natalia to stop bothering me. Gabriel wouldn't notice that I was gone for a while, and I didn't plan to be gone for long. While walking into the forest, I saw a rose bush and plucked the reddest one from the group.

Mmmmmm-it smells pretty.

Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you that it started storming...again! I guess I've just gotten so used to it lol

Soon I was standing in front of Natalia's grave, pushing my wet hair out of my eyes.

Now, I wasn't exactly sure what she wanted, but I have a pretty good guess.

"Natalia," I yelled over the storm, "Gabriel asked me to marry him. And I said yes." She got very angry, "I love him very much and we've been fighting to stay together for a long time. He always thinks of you, ya know. We dated for 3 years before he proposed-"

Lightning crackled, she had caught my lie.

"Okay, okay. He proposed after a couple months because I was going to leave. But he only did that because he loves me! Natalia, I want your permission to marry Gabriel!"

I stepped forward and placed the rose on top of her tomb stone. As I was pulling my hand away a thorn caught my finger and tore the skin. I yanked it back quickly, the blood was really gushing out. I looked up for a second and then found I couldn't look away, blood was dripping from the rose and over the face of the grave.

The storm got even more intense, I got even more scared, so I ran all the way home. I slammed the door shut behind me and tried to turn on the lights. The power had gone out from the storm though. So I grabbed a candle and lit it. I called out Gabriel's name but he didn't answer. It looked like he wasn't even home! I was scared, and cold, so I went up to bed and climbed under the sheets, I didn't even take off my wet clothes. As soon as my head hit the pillow I fell asleep.

When I woke up, I wasn't in that same room.

I woke up in a bed with four posts, there was a chair on the other side of the room, a big closet, and a mirror with a small desk. I sat up, puzzled at where I could possibly be. I was even more puzzled when my hair was in a braid over my shoulder and I wasn't in my jeans! I was in a long white nightgown! With long puffy sleeves and lace at my neck and wrists!

Through the see-through curtains attaching my bed posts I saw a figure standing in the dark.

"Who is there?" I scream. The sentence came out in russian though.

Slowly, the figure stepped forward. A dress appeared and then hands and then a determined face. A set jaw, delicate hands, brown eyes, and long brown hair piled on top of her head.

It was Natalia.

"I think you know who I am." She starts.

"Why am I here, Natalia?"

"You said you love my Gabriel. You said he loves you. Well, I still love him too."

"Yeah, but your-"

"Dead? Well, you will be soon. Did Gabriel tell you that he killed me? And his brother? And his daughter?"

"That's a lie!" I shout, defending him, "It was Kali who killed Catia! Not Gabriel. And look, Natalia, see something you don't want to see: Gabriel killed Kali to avenge Catia's death!"

She walked closer to me, "I have a few things to show you. And if you still want to marry my Gabriel after you see what I have to show you, then I will let you. But I guarantee that you will not. The Gabriel that you knew then is not the Gabriel that you know now."

"Uh, I think you said that wrong-"

"Nope. Welcome to 1385." And then she disappeared. What? I'm in the 1300s? I leap from the bed and over to the window, Natalia was right.

I'm not sure what to do so I open the bedroom door and wander down the hall. At the end of the hall their is a huge clock that wasn't there last night. I hear laughter coming from the dining room as I wander down the stairs.

"Oh, Papa! Thank you so much!" A female voice cheers. I peep my head around the wall. A golden haired girl held out her wrist for the bracelet.

Instantly, I knew all their names. The golden haired girl was named Galina, to her right and left are her brothers, Yasha and Philip, in front of her are her parents.

"Johanna! What are you doing still in your nightgown?" Galina shouts.

The boys chuckle as I'm turned around and ushered back into my room.

I keep trying to ask Galina questions but she's hoping around the room picking out a dress, choosing jewelry. Finally, as she comes over to help me put on the beautiful crimson gown, I get to talk to her.

"Galina, where is Gabriel?"

So many questions flooded my mind. The main ones being:

1) Who do they all think I am?

2) Will Gabriel or Natalia recognize me?

"Oh who knows! My brother is more trouble than a bunch of boys in a brothel!" She giggles a little, I don't think its funny, "He's as wild and untamed as his stallion, if not worse, and as sinful as the Devil himself."

I see Gabriel's family holds high expectations of him...I now know why he dislikes them so.

Galina finishes lacing the back of my gown and I stand to look at myself in the mirror. My hair is piled on top of my head and the crimson looks good against my tan skin.

"Let's go!" Galina giggles.

"Where are we going?" I ask.

She leads me out the door and back down the stairs.

"Oh, Cousin, your becoming forgetful. We're going to a christmas party!"

Oh, how nice.

Well, we make it downstairs just in time for me to see Gabriel...

He's leaning against the wall covering his face.

"Can I have some more money?" He asks, but the words slur together. He's drunk.

Our eyes make contact, and for a second I feel like he will remember me...but then he looks away.

His father refuses to give him money. I would too, but I don't think I'd be able to deny him anything.

Gabriel complains, all the time keeping his face, except his eyes, covered.

My heart stops. Just to hear that voice and see him standing there! Oh I could just melt!

Gabriel slides to the floor and removes his hand from his face. Oh god! He's bleeding! I try running over to him but Philip and Yasha catch my arms.

"Gabriel? Sweetie, please tell me your okay?"

Gabriel chuckles a little, but I can tell it hurts him so he stops. He looks at me weird, before he can reply, I'm not even sure he was going to, Yasha speaks.

"Ah, our poor cousin probably hasn't seen a man this drunk."

Oh please, Yasha! You didn't see me and my brother when we were together!

"Well, take a good look, Johanna," Philip says, "You'll never see a man more drunk." They both laugh.

How could they laugh? That's their brother! And my almost husband!

What Philip and Yasha didn't expect was that I would be so strong, strong enough to break away from them.

I pulled my arms out of their grasp and knelt on the ground next to Gabriel. I started wiping away the blood with my sleeve, Galina was protesting behind me.

Gabriel searched my eyes, like he knew I wasn't just a cousin, like some part of him recognized me.

He flinched when I touched the side of his nose, it was obviously broken.

"Its broken," an unknown voice says.

I look towards the top of the stairs and find the source of that voice. He's tall, with wavy blonde hair and brown eyes, he looks to be in his late 30's. Wait a second, Yasha and Philip are standing behind me, they both have blonde hair, Gabriel is next to me. That must mean- the blonde haired man on top of the stairs is Nikolai! Oh my! He really is a handsome man.

Nikolai walks down the stairs to stand near Gabriel and I. Like the kinder older brother he is, he examines his brother.

"We need to fix his nose-" I start.

"Why? So he can go out their and break it again?" Gabriel's father inserts.

Gabriel tried to say something, but Nikolai politely quieted him.

"Your right, Johanna," Nikolai says softly.

So before anyone can say or do anything, I re-break Gabriel's nose to the opposite side so its somehow in the middle.

A long string of obscenities comes out of his mouth and it actually sounds really cool in russian!

The boys- strike that- everyone is really shocked that I did that. I guess in these days girls couldn't do that kind of thing.

Gabriel's parents walk towards the door, his siblings follow.

"Go ahead, Johanna," Nikolai whispers to me, "I'll take care of my brother. Go enjoy the christmas party."

I nod and slowly get up, straightening my gown. Just before the big oak door closes behind me, I look to see Nikolai helping Gabriel up and leading him to his room.

Once at the party, I felt even more lost! I didn't know anyone, I didn't know these dances! I was even afraid to speak in case I might say something wrong.

"Do you see that girl over there?" Galina casually points across the room, "That's Natalia. Gabriel is supposed to marry her. Isn't she beautiful?"

Natalia turns her head slightly to the left and nearby candles illuminate her face. She was beautiful, very beautiful.

I hardly even realized her make her way over to us.

"Natalia, please meet my cousin Johanna."

"How do you do?" Natalia nods politely.

"Fine. And you?"

"I would be better were my fiancé here."

Galina laughs, "Its a favor to us that he isn't. His reckless ways aren't appreciable."

To break the awkward conversation I change the subject, "Well we'd all be better if Nikolai were here."

The girls laugh and agree.

Galina excuses herself to see some other friends.

"And how are you enjoying our town?" Natalia asks.

"Cut the crap, Natalia. I'm ready to go home."

She looks shocked, "I don't appreciate that foul language." She turns and starts walking away and I'm shocked! Could I really be trapped here! Is she really playing such a cruel joke on me?

"By the way," she turns around, "Your not ready yet."

The room collapses around me. It spins and colors blend together. Soon the room turns to darkness, I'm all alone.

"Hello?" My voice echoes.

Far away in front of me, I see a speck of light. I start running towards it and the faster I run, the bigger the light gets! Soon I am running threw the bright burst.

I am in the middle of a dirt road, just barely missing a carriage.

"Where am I?" I ask to anyone who will answer.

Inside my head a voice answers, 'Go to the Headless Harrow. Down the street and around the corner.'

So I listen. Its a bar. I find Gabriel there...doing, guess what? Drinking. And gambling. Their is a cheap looking, red-headed whore by his side.

'This is the alternative he choose to marrying me,' the voice in my head says. I realize it is Natalia.

"I'm so sorry," I quietly whisper.

'Next stop-'

"No! I don't think I can handle-"

Before I can finish, I am traveling through time. For a second I am in a room back at Gabriel's house. There is a brief, shrill cry. I look up and Gabriel is holding a baby girl. The last thing I get to see is Gabriel's face: the look of love.

'That's how I got him to stay with me,' Natalia smirks.

Then we're gone again, its not like traveling through time now, its more like a jump.

This next one...I couldn't handle it...

Gabriel was loading a gun.

"What are you going to do with that?" I ask. He doesn't answer.

He points it at his head.

"Gabriel?" I ask frantically.

Gabriel closes his green eyes and places his finger on the trigger.

Just as he pulls the trigger I dive at him screaming.

What really got me scared was when I fell right through him and landed on the floor.

All I cared about was that he was alive! I could have died for all I cared just as long as he didn't.

"He can't hear you," Natalia says from across the room, "He can't see you either."

"Natalia, I want to go home!" I pull my knees to my chest and cry.

Soon she is kneeling next to me, "Don't YOU dare cry! I had to live with this." Her tone is firm but I can tell she is starting to care.

Behind Natalia I notice Gabriel load another pistol.

"Natalia!" I warn.

"I had to get used to it and so do you." She said firmly.

I have to watch Gabriel load the gun and point it at his heart.

Right as he pulls the trigger I scream, "STOP!"

Time freezes. Only Natalia and I can still move.

I get up and stand next to Gabriel. I start crying fresh tears and the only thing that helps me is to climb under his arms and pretend I am being held by his strong arms.

"Time to go," Natalia says forcefully.

I am gone from Gabriel's arms. This time I'm outside, and its dark. Just ahead of me I see Gabriel and a little girl. Catia.

As a human this might be the most heart wrenching thing ever.

The still night air is broken by fierce growls and high pitched screams of fear. Gabriel's russian voice is now screaming and yelling...and then crying.

The high pitched screams have stopped.

Slowly, with realization of what has happened, I bring my hand to my mouth and cry for that sweet little girl taken to soon by death's cold, immortal hands.

"You didn't even know her." Natalia says behind me.

"Not like you did. But I know Gabriel loved her very much, and that she loved him." Looking back at the scene of her death I continue, "I dreamt of your daughter. She was so sweet, and so innocent." I touch Natalia's hand, "She didn't deserve that."

Natalia doesn't reply. Time moves again and I'm gone from the 1300s.

I wake up back in Galina's room, still in my wet jeans and sweatshirt. Its dark out as I get up and wander into the front room which is just filling with the start of the morning sun.

Sitting on the window seat is a person. At first I think its Gabriel but when I get closer I see a full length gown, brown hair piled on her head and delicate hands.

"I envy you," Natalia says turning to look at me.

Her eyes are filled with tears.

"Why? Your beautiful, you had a family that loved you and a sweet little girl!"

"But you have Gabriel," the tears shimmer in her eyes.

I sit next to Natalia, being careful not to wrinkle her dress.

"I'm not trying to steal him from you. I love him because of his heart and he loves me for mine. I understand that he has you and Catia still in his heart, its one of the things I love about him." I pause, "You are there you know. In his heart. He hasn't forgotten you and never will."

She cries a little then dries her tears.

"You still wish to marry him then? Even after all I've shown you?"

Without hesitation I reply, "His differences make me love him more. We all have a past to hide, a secret to keep, but its what we do with the future that shows who we really are. And Gabriel is strong, and caring!"

I tell her all about the vampires back in Kerry, about teaming with the Cullens to put an end to the Volturri, and lastly about his time in Kali's castle.

The brilliant orange of the morning sun illuminates Natalia's face.

"Its time for you to wake up, Johanna." She smiles.

The grass was wet under my cheek when I first opened my eyes. There was a thin layer of rain still over my clothes as I sat up.

I was so confused, I didn't understand.

I remembered being cut by the rose so I look at my hand but the cut is completely gone, the blood on the face of the grave is also gone.

I look up at the red rose lying on the tomb stone, water droplets lay on its velvet petals, and the sun is rising behind it.

'Marry Gabriel. Love him like he loves you. Its what I want.' Natalia's voice says in my head.

With a smile on my face I get up and race all the way back to the house.

"Gabriel?" I call as I throw open the back door.

"Yes?" He responds from the living room.

I run to him and embrace him. His arms are tight on my shoulders.

Surprisingly I don't go to kiss him, but instead I touch the side of his nose where it was broken on the night of the christmas party.

"Where have you been all night, Johanna?" His accent is just as thick as it was in the 1300s.

Oops! Lol

"Its all going to be okay." I smile as I hold his hand and the room floods with light around us.

-Johanna


	71. YOU CAN RUN BUT YOU CANT HIDE

YOU CAN RUN BUT YOU CANT HIDE... (Gabriel's POV0

YOU CAN RUN BUT YOU CANT HIDE... (Gabriel's POV)

March 5th, 2013

I have to admit that I'm glad to be back in Kerry again. But I will really miss Russia, I was born there, my family was there. I laughed and cried there, I had my first kiss in that town, its where I went to school.

But...as I glance at Johanna looking out the window- to see her face light up at the recognition of the streets- I realize that this is my home. I laugh and cry here too. My family and friends are here. My new life was born here, I kiss Johanna all the time, and..I could go through school again to.

Hey, anythings possible right? After all, I am a vampire.

I am happy to be home. With Johanna's hand in mine and a present for Sophia in the other, we step out of the car and walk towards the main house.

"Welcome back home," I whisper to Johanna before she opens the door.

"You too," Johanna kisses my nose.

She's been...different since Russia. Its like she has a special secret that only she knows or something.

"We're home!" Johanna yells as we walk through the door.

Unfortunately, we're greeted by solemn faces, an air of nervousness hangs in the air.

I close the door behind us, set Sophia's present on the couch and go into the kitchen.

I notice the Cullens are all here. Bella even brought Reneesme, this must be serious.

I look to Rhoan who then looks at Jordan.

I look into her eyes, "Who is trying to kill us now?"

Happiness is short lived. When everything looks fine, don't hold your breath. In other words, just because the sun is out, don't be shocked if it starts to rain. It turns out that we- for once- are not being hunted...Sophia is. Who would want to hurt her? Forget the fact that she's my little niece! Just- well- she's only a little girl! She couldn't do harm to somebody even if she tried!

But I guess the Devil and his son wouldn't seek revenge on those who deserve it...I suppose they wish for the entire world to crawl through flames, to bend to his will and to stoop to his level. I could picture it now: side walks opening up, sucking the innocent into the deep depths of the Earth. Only the evil and damned will walk. The green and blue, pink and green, all color will be drained. Fire and darkness will rule. People with dark minds and dark desires will walk with their heads held high, knowing that the Devil condones this behavior. Creatures of the darkest fairytale will become plentiful sights. No one will wonder what other creatures go bump in the night, what ones might hide in the darkest corner of their child's mind...little boys and girls will be tortured by snakes whispering evil and creatures that hide in the shadows. Wolves howling and biting at their heels. The heat of Hell will be all they know.

A world like this I wouldn't wish for my worst enemy...not even for Kali.

And most certainly not for the people who go to school, the people who wake up every morning to go to work for money for their family, the people who have or are mother and fathers, sisters and brothers, aunts and uncles, grandparents and cousins, not for my niece.

My first question was, "How do we stop him?"

Reluctantly, Jordan replied, "WE don't. Sophia does."

Not what I wanted to hear.

She was a little girl! And I'd be dead before I would be told that I can't fight for her!

"You and Josh love her. I love her. We all love her!" I say, I was actually starting to lose my temper, "So how can you just stand by and let her walk into this alone?" I yelled.

Jordan had gotten upset so Josh had to speak instead, "I think the fight is with her witch powers, Gabriel. We know nothing about that and therefore can't help."

I was going to look to Rhoan or Johanna for help but I couldn't take my gaze from Jordan. For once, I felt real. Like I really was standing on this ground, living right now. In this moment. I felt the cold of my skin. I'm as solid as a brick wall! My mind won't be changed.

"So what? Yeah we nothing about that but we can teach her what we know. The little things that are common sense, even for humans, in a fight. Never get backed into a corner. Always keep your opponent on the defensive. Keep moving." I don't blink, my eyes don't leave Jordan's.

"Its just like soccer, right, Josh?" I ask.

"I do know a few spells," Rhoan says from his seat on one of the bar stools, "And at the very least I could help her with concentration and technique."

"Exactly! And I'm sure Lottie and Bastien can help with the instinct. We all love her and would do anything to keep her safe. If its true that we can't fight for her, then let us help now. Let us prepare her. And when the time comes, she won't be as scared, she'll let instinct come out, she'll use common sense, her powers might be perfected. She can hear us in her memories, telling her to move faster or to duck. But, if anything else happens, do not send her into this alone."

We all sat there for a while. Each looking from one to the other. What would happen next? Would we be doing this alone? Would Jordan still think it wouldn't help?

The silence stretched, the lack of sound got deafening.

"Now," I pluck Sophia's present from the couch, "I have a present to go deliver to a lovely lady." I don't wait for an answer, not that I needed one. I just walk right out of the house with Johanna right behind me and into the grassy field that separates our houses.

Before we get too close to the house, Johanna grabs my arm and stops me, "How bad is this going to be?" She is referring to Sophia having to fight the Devil's son.

I grab her hand and look into her eyes, "I don't know."

She nods and we knock on Jordan's door. Bella answers and I introduce Bella to Johanna.

"If you two want to go talk or something I can watch the girls."

Bella and Johanna go off into Jordan's kitchen while I go into the living room.

I don't say anything right away, Vera and Sophia really are to cute. They're sitting in front of the tv with their little heads tilted back.

I laugh.

"Uncle Gabriel!" The two girls shriek. They get up and run over to me, fighting for the first hug. I pick both of them up into my arms and swing them around.

"Oh I missed you two so much!" I kiss Vera's cheek and then I kiss Sophia's.

"Where did you go?" Vera asks as we all move to sit on the couch.

So I tell them about Russia and then about visiting Johanna's parents in Pennsylvania.

"- and her mother and father will be visiting very soon for the wedding, so you two will have to be on your best behavior."

They make me pinky promises.

"When are you and aunt Johanna getting married?"

"That's a very good question-"

Johanna steps into the room and smiles at me and the girls, "March 19th is the day of our wedding. And we need you two to do something very special for us."

"Like what?" Johanna has the girls excited.

"We want you to stand up with us and your Uncle Rhoan when we say 'I do'. We want the both of you to be a part of the wedding."

The girls go into shrieks of excitement and ask questions about what they have to do and if they will get big fancy dresses?

"Of course you do! You can go with me when I get my special dress." Johanna promises.

While Johanna and the girls are discussing dresses, I go check on Bella.

"Hey Bella."

"Hey. So I never thought you would be the type to settle down so fast."

We both laugh, "Well, I found the right girl."

Bella nods, "I was kind of shocked when she told me that she doesn't want to be a vampire. I told her about me and Edward and how I had to marry him to become a vampire, and even then he didn't want to change me right away!"

"Yeah. I was shocked too. Your lucky that you were created and had someone who loved you right away. I think that if when I had woken up, Johanna had been their then I wouldn't hate being a vampire."

"You hate it?"

"Well I don't love it. Yeah. Actually, I usually do hate it. But now I have Johanna and she makes it all better."

Bella smiles at me and we talk a little, finally I tell her, "If you want to go be with your family then that's fine. Johanna and I will stay with Sophia and Vera. I know that Reneesme was looking for you."

You didn't have to tell Bella twice. She said goodbye to the girls and to Johanna and left.

Sophia had run off with Vera into the other room which left Johanna and I alone on the couch.

"Johanna, I think we should postpone the wedding, just until after this fight blows over."

She kisses my cheek and agrees with me, "I know you won't be relaxed and comfortable until you know she's safe and it really is sweet that you want to wait."

"Thank you, love."

We were about to kiss when we heard a little girl's cough.

"What is it Sophia?" I asked. Vera was still in the other room.

She crawls up onto the couch and sits right between Johanna and I.

"I don't want you to wait to get married. I want you to go ahead and do it. Vera and I promised to be on our best behavior, remember?"

She was so grown up, and so so sweet. I wondered if she knew what she was up against, and if not, I don't want to be the one to tell her.

"Well, thank you, Sophia. And if your very sure that Aunt Johanna and I should get married in two weeks then I guess we will."

She gives us a big hug and then walks out of the room to go play with Vera.

I would feel better to postpone the wedding until after Sophia is safe, but she really wants the wedding to happen...

"Don't worry: if anything happens I can have it canceled in a flash."

I really hope so.

I got a text from Lottie saying that she and Bastien were back now and she could come pick Vera up.

"No, tell her I'll drop her off." Johanna says nicely.

She grabs her purse and car keys.

"What do you need your bag for? Your just going down the road."

"Hunny, I'm getting married in 14 days! I gotta find a dress."

She kisses me and then goes to grab Vera and say goodbye to Sophia.

I give Vera a goodbye kiss and tell her that I'll see her soon.

Right after I close the door Sophia clears her throat.

"Yes?"

I turn around and she's standing right there, hands behind her back and staring at her feet.

"Do I get my present now?" She asks with a smile on her face.

"What present?" I joke with her.

She points at the large bag against the wall.

"Oh. This?" I pick it up.

She nods her head fast.

"Who says its for you?" I tease again.

"Uncle Gabriel! Please!" She whines.

"Well, are you sure its for you?" She nods, "you can have it, IF your absolutely positive its for you."

"I'm positive!"

She reaches for the bag, "Woah now! Kiss." She gives me a quick little girl kiss. I know she really wants the present.

She pulls it out of my hands and tears back the paper. Her little face is so sweet when she sees the huge teddy bear sitting in front of her. Seriously, its as big as she is, and its soft too.

Sophia spends the next 20 minutes thinking of a good name for him, but I didn't get to know the name...yet.

Then she pulled me and the bear in front of the tv and put a movie in. I laughed when it started playing. It was that cartoon movie about Anastasia. Jordan had told me that Sophia liked this movie since I was from Russia to.

"Did you know Anastasia?" Sophia's little voice asks.

"Actually, I did. I met her once when she was about 7 years old. She was pretty and nice."

"Did she live happily ever after and marry Demetri?"

Well, I wasn't about to ruin her dreams. She thinks the movie is real, and really, what is the harm in that?

"Of course. She loved him. And they both saved each other you know. You would do anything to save the ones you love." I say pushing a strand of hair out of her eyes.

I only wish that I could do something to save her.

She stops with the questions and watches the movie.

We barely get half way through when Jordan and Josh get home. Sophia is happy to show them her new bear and I realize that the three of them need to talk. I text Rhoan quick, telling him we're going out.

Sophia kisses me goodbye and I say bye to Jordan and Josh.

I meet Rhoan at the main house and sure enough he's there waiting for me.

"Where are we going?" He asks as we get into the car.

"I'm getting married in 14 days. We need to get suits."

Rhoan laughs and then agrees with me.

Yeah, so a couple hours later Rhoan and I had gotten our suits and were ready for the wedding. And then that's when it hit me:

I was getting married in 14 days!

And then I had a breakdown on the sidewalk.

"Holy shit! I'm getting married in 14 days! Where! Who! Food! Colors!"

"Its okay, buddy." Rhoan pulls me off the sidewalk and keeps walking, "I'm sure Johanna has it all worked out."

-Gabriel


	72. ONE LIFE TO LIVE Johanna's POV

ONE LIFE TO LIVE... (Johannas's POV)

March 7th, 2013

Dear Diary,

Dreaming is such a fun thing. Its calm and relaxing. You can do anything you want in your dreams. Dude, I could fly if I wanted! Anyway, in my dream I was standing in a church. My vision was kind of messed up but then I realize its not my eyes...its what was in front of them. A veil. I was wearing a veil.

And then I realized I was wearing a dress too. A big one with a very puffy skirt.

I started to feel happy, until I realized I didn't have any shoes on...or a bouquet.

I started worrying...where were my shoes?

Then something really weird happened: I heard a ripping sound. The fabric from my dress was ripping! When I looked down to see what was pulling it, it was short! Instead of being floor length, it stopped above my knees! That wasn't even the most horrifying part! Black splatter painted converse high tops appeared on my feet! That's just- just no!

"What the hell?" I asked. My voice echoed.

And then a drop of red fell right onto the front of my dress.

"Huh?" I looked in front me. Another drop of red hit my dress. And then all hell broke loose! Spaghetti hit me in the face and the sauce oozed all over my pretty white dress! It wasn't just red though, purples and greens and blues too. And when that was done, my dress was splatter painted. My big, beautiful, wedding dress! It was ruined! All the sudden these double doors open and so I walk through them. Standing at the alter is a skeleton and someone with their back to me. On each side of him are two figures cloaked in black with depth less hoods.

I keep walking down the aisle which never seems to end. And I do mean never. I look to my left, where my family and friends should be but they aren't there. I look to the right where all of Gabriel's vampire friends are. And his friends are surrounded by the corpses of my family.

I start to cry and soon I'm at the alter. The man turns around: its Gabriel. But his face is different. Have you ever seen the vampires in Buffy the Vampire. Slayer? That's what his face looked like, it was scary.

He reaches toward my ear and pulls out a strand of spaghetti.

He puts it in his mouth and swallows, "Mmmm. Yummy!"

And he laughs.

I scream.

The image gets shattered. Like someone threw something at it. A silver hairbrush appears in my hand. I read the inscription 'One Life To Live'.

I grip the handle and throw it at the Alter of Terror. The image completely shatters and the pieces fall through a river of black.

I land on a ground of black, still in my splatter paint gown, and find a shard of that horrible dream. I peer into the glass-like shard and see something else I don't like:

I was at my graduation. Our principal introduced us, the graduating class of 2013. There was applause.

"Let us welcome Johanna Blake, Valedictorian of this class."

I was confused, I wasn't valedictorian! I wasn't nearly that smart!

But my blue gown fluttered around my jean clad legs, my low cut purple shirt showed out the top, as I walked up the stairs to the stage. The microphone makes this horrible sound as I stand next to it.

"Hello, fellow classmates. We've done it. And now," a horrible growl rises out of my throat, "Welcome to the end!" My face looks like the vampires from Buffy The Vampire Slayer. And I leap out at the crowd.

I wake up with sweat on my forehead and a scream in my throat. I swallow that scream and try to forget the horror of my nightmares.

I was all calm again when the thought of my wedding gown being ruined gets me freaked out again! And then I calmed down and was just about to fall asleep when my stupid alarm clock starts buzzing so incredibly loud! It freaked me out! I actually fell out of the bed! Stupid smallish piece of technological advancement!

Gabriel knocks on the door, "Love? Are you alright?"

I grumble a little, "I'm fine."

I get a pair of socks out of my drawer and open Gabriel's bedroom door.

He is standing right there, smiling, waiting.

He leans forward and kisses my forehead.

"I'm okay. Just a bad dream."

"I'm sorry, sweetie." He leads me down the stairs, "But you do know what today is, right?"

Before I can reply, there is a huge table of food in front of me and all our friends pop out of hiding shouting 'SURPRISE!' The nice surprise was kind of ruined though, the actual act of them popping out freaked me out...again! Jeez, I'm just a big scardy cat today.

"Are you okay? You seem on edge?" Faine asks.

I would have replied...but Alec started to pour syrup on my pancakes and it was just to tempting! I dove at the table and began shoveling it all into my mouth.

The it all hits me. The scary dreams, the increased amount of yummy food, the popping out and shouting 'surprise'...I'm graduating from college today.

I drop my fork and the 'To-Do list' starts running through my mind.

"Holy crap! I'm graduating today!" I bolt upright and start pacing around the kitchen and living room, "Oh my god! I need to get dressed! I need my gown from the cleaners! I need to make up 3 guest rooms..."

The list keeps going and I keep rambling it off. Everyone moves out of my way as I walk past them.

I hardly even notice Gabriel step in front of me and stop my zombie-like rant.

"Johanna." He looks into my eyes, "Everything is under control."

And I believe him. I do. I'm just freaking out. But I don't have to be nervous about my graduation, my dream has to be wrong since I'm not the valedictorian. And my wedding...let's just get through my graduation.

Gabriel kisses me. And that's enough of a distraction. I get lost in his taste and his grasp. The world disappears behind me. Until I realize what time it is. I open my eyes, pull away from Gabriel, and stare at the clock.

Its 10:30...my graduation is at 1.

I get eerily calm and quiet.

"Johanna? Are you okay?" Everyone asks.

I bury my face in Gabriel's shoulder and scream.

I push Gabriel's arms away from me and calmly walk to the linen closet. I grab some sheets and pillowcases and comforters and walk up the stairs to the 3 guest rooms.

I start making one of the beds but then Faine taps me on the shoulder.

"Why don't you go get ready, hun? I'll make the beds."

I agree and thank her.

I had so much to do to get ready. I started by taking a shower and brushing my teeth and then by drying my hair. The next part I needed help with so I asked Chelsea to help me curl my hair. I would have had Gabriel do it but he was busy getting ready in the other room.

When my hair was done, I sent Chelsea away and I went into Gabriel's room where he was finishing buttoning his shirt.

"Do you like the dress I picked out?" I ask.

"Its very nice. But could you have chosen brighter shoes?" He laughs and I laugh too looking at my bright yellow pumps.

I was about to untie my robe and step into my dress when I remembered something important.

"Shit! My parents!" Gabriel was looking at me now, "Gabriel, we still have to get them!" All my stress came rushing back.

I reached for a pair of sweatpants but he stopped me.

"Johanna, you don't have time," its true. It was already 11:30, "I'll go get them."

"Really? Are you sure?" I knew he was and I was already reaching for my dress.

"Of course! I'll pick them up and we'll meet you at your graduation. First row, love." He kisses me, "I'll be there."

"I know you will be."

As he walks out of the room I remember my graduation dream. Me leaping out at the crowd to kill them all.

All I could do was wait...and hope.

So I slipped on my pretty dress. It was puffy and swirled when I twirled fast. It came just above my knees and was a dark floral pattern. I loved it. The bust was tight and flattering and it had a thick halter that wrapped around my neck.

I finished my dress by putting on my bright yellow pumps and pearl jewelry.

I walked down stairs and was told by Alec and Faine that I looked beautiful.

"You're with me, kid." Rhoan says after agreeing that I looked nice.

"Thanks for driving," I said as we got out of the car, "I was so nervous I wouldn't have been able to."

"Don't be. Your just graduating. We've all done it before."

His shaggy brown hair and lopsided smile is very reassuring.

"Thanks, Rho." I give him a hug and then point to where he should go sit.

As for me, well, I walked off into the school and towards the room where all the graduates were waiting.

But on my way there, I got stopped by the principal. He was holding the valedictorian's cap and gown in his hand.

"Did something happen to Kim?" I ask politely.

"There was an -ahem- problem with her records."

"Oh no! That's terrible!"

I casually glance at the clock behind his head. 12:45. 15 minutes to go.

What I really didn't expect was when he gave me Kim's gown.

"Uh? What?"

"Your our new valedictorian. Congratulations!" And then he walks away.

"Uh, dude, wait. No." But he wasn't stopping to listen.

I looked at the blue gown with gold trim. My nightmare was coming true.

What the hell was I supposed to do? I had 10 minutes to accept the fact that I'm valedictorian AND to come up with a kick ass speech! This is just horrible...

I looked at the classroom, shouts of joy and laughter were coming from there. I wanted to be there, laughing with my friends, but how could I laugh and joke with this huge burden hanging over my head!

So, defeated, I trudge towards the auditorium. It was empty since our ceremony would be held outside, and I welcomed the silence and space. There was a piano up on stage and I just couldn't resist. I climbed the stairs until I was all alone up on the big stage with the lights shining on me.

I sat on the little black bench and opened the protector off the keys. There was a thin layer of dust on the beautiful, contrasting black and white keys.

I pressed a key. The note rang out. I pressed one on the opposite end, the note followed the other one to the back of the auditorium and up to the ceiling. They were beautiful.

I kept on playing, this time adding chords instead of single notes. The dust rose off the keys that had come to life. I felt magical and in charge there, I forgot about having to write a speech...it didn't seem as important as I thought.

"Don't know much about your life

Don't know much about your world but

Don't wanna be alone tonight

On this planet they call Earth" I started playing with the piano, it was helping me write a speech.

"You don't know about my past and

I don't have a future figured out

And maybe this is goin' too fast

And maybe it's not meant to last" I loved the way my voice seemed soft and rang out from the stage.

"But what do you say to takin' chances?

What do you say to jumpin' off the edge?

Never knowin' if there's solid ground below

Or a hand to hold or hell to pay

What do you say? What do you say?

I just wanna start again

And maybe you could show me how to try

Maybe you could take me in

Somewhere underneath your skin" All the sudden I realized this song wasn't about graduating, anymore, it was about me and Gabriel. I walked away from the piano and wandered down the hall, continuing to sing.

"What do you say to takin' chances?

What do you say to jumpin' off the edge?

Never knowin' if there's solid ground below

Or a hand to hold or hell to pay

What do you say? What do you say?

Hey now, hey, my heart is beatin' down

But I'm always comin' back for more, yeah

There's nothin' like love to pull you up

When you're lyin' down on the floor, babe," This was definitely about Gabriel.

"So talk to me, talk to me like lovers do

Yeah, walk with me, walk with me like lovers do

Like lovers do" As I wandered past the trophy cases and photographs, I started seeing my own memories in front of me. How I was with my school friends, and then how I was with Gabriel and them. I saw all my memories of Gabriel and me together. The heart ache, the heart break, the love, the fights; it was all there.

"What do you say to takin' chances?

What do you say to jumpin' off the edge?

Never knowin' if there's solid ground below

Or a hand to hold or hell to pay

I lowered my voice and slipped on the blue gown with the gold trim, "What do you say? What do you say?

Don't know much about your life

And I don't know much about your world"

"And now, our class Valedictorian, Johanna Blake." There was a round of applause and inside of me, I knew that Gabriel was the one clapping the loudest.

I took a deep breath and strolled out the door, onto the grass and up onto the stage.

I shake my principals hand.

"Thank you. All of you. I don't know some of you, but I wish I did. This school is filled with amazing, wonderful people and the only regret I have is not knowing some of you." I begin.

...This speech sucks. Time to change tactics!

"Actually...I do have another regret. I have tons of them! Because that's what school is about! Take a class just for the Hell of it! Meet a guy," I'm looking at Gabriel, "And fall in love before you even know his name."

My class mates chuckle.

"Take chances. That's what life is, one big chance! You never know what will happen which is actually the beauty of it."

I have no idea what to say! But I think my classmates like that I'm so chilled.

"For a long time now, our teachers have being saying 'its over', 'school is over'. And family and friends have said 'how does it feel to be at the end?'. Well, with respect to all, your wrong. This isn't the end. This is only the beginning, our life is starting now! We've been given a key to life and now its up to all of us what we will do with it."

My speech goes on a little more but I won't bore you, diary.

Anyway, I got a huge round of applause and a standing ovation. Those people are so cool lol I'm goona miss them.

So, we all get our diplomas and then we throw our caps into the air. Yipee! Cue pictures now! Once no one was exactly paying attention to me, Gabriel jumped on stage and kissed me. My leg popped in the back lol it was sweet! I got really embarrassed when I heard a whole bunch of applause and cheers from the audience. I looked out and they were clapping at me and Gabriel.

I blushed... A LOT! But it was sweet.

Then I saw my parents in the front row where Gabriel had been sitting...AND MY SISTER!

I jumped off the stage and ran to her.

"AAAHHHHHHHHHHH! OMG! I MISSED YOU!" I screamed.

We hugged and she told me how proud she was.

"Oh my god! You cut your hair!"

Her pretty brown hair was short! It used to be down her back like mine but now it was really short, like, it just covered her ears. Sort of like Alice's except not as much flair and style.

"Well, yeah. I grew up."

"Oh please!" I laughed.

My sister is the opposite of me! She was always the grown up one.

I pull her over to Gabriel.

"This is my sister, Darla. But we call her Dale. She's 28 also."

"Just call me Darla, please." She sticks her hand out for Gabriel to shake.

She made it so awkward!

"Nice to meet you, Darla." He says. But instead of shaking hands he hugs her.

I laugh, "I'm goona have to keep my eye on you, sister! You two are the same age and I can't have you stealing my man from me."

She blushed and stutters that she wouldn't but Gabriel and I know its a joke. We both laugh at her.

My parents come get me and hug me. They congratulate me on graduating and then they tell me how excited they are for the wedding.

Then my other family comes over. Valentina, Chelsea, Demetri, Afton, Faine, and Alec, Lottie, Bastien and Vera. Jordan and Josh were home with Sophia trying to explain about her father. How do you explain that to a child?

But happier thoughts! We took pictures with the family. And I think my mom took my favorite: Gabriel scooped me into his arms when I wasn't paying attention. I was laughing, my diploma was in my hand and one of my legs was kicked out. Gabriel, he just looked plain happy. I love him so much.

I was about to take another picture with my parents when my principal came over.

"That was a wonderful speech, Johanna."

"Thank you, sir."

"Well, I wanted to talk to you about you future."

I cast a worried glance at Gabriel and at my parents.

"Its nothing bad! In fact, it would be good for you and for the school."

"Sir?" I was so confused.

"We have a teaching position for you if you want it. In your major of art."

I was dumbfounded. I had literally just graduated! And I was already being offered a job...but was it a job I really wanted to take?

Did I really want to show up everyday and teach art classes to people who might not truly be passionate about it? Did I want to come into school dressed like its a real job? No. I wanted to wear my short shorts and tank tops. Or my sweats and tight long sleeves. Proper just wasn't my thing.

But it was Darla's! She jumped right in saying how great that is and how proud and excited I should be!

But me being me, I said, "Well, I'll have to think about it."

"Of course," says my principal, "I'll be in touch."

After he's gone, I hear it from Darla. Blah-blah- blah! Etc etc!

There is some silence between us. My parents think we are going to fight.

Calmly and maturely, I say, "Dale, I am going to do what I want and what's best for me. Just because you think I should be a teacher doesn't mean its the right move for me. What you think is right, isn't always right, Dale."

She flipped her hair out of her eyes and looked away.

I turned my back on her and went to say good bye to my classmates. We exchanged numbers and email addresses and promised to keep in touch.

"Hun, we're taking you out for dinner." Gabriel slips his arms around my waist.

"Oh really? Do I get to pick the place?" The bar and grill down the street is my fav place!

"No. Definitely not." I frowned, "We're going someplace fancy."

I frowned again. But whatever, I'll go.

"Let's go!"

My family gathers and we pile into our cars.

"Dale, meet the best man, Rhoan. Rhoan, this is my maid of honor, and sister, Darla."

"Nice to meet you, Darla." Rhoan kisses my sisters hand. And she blushes.

"We don't have room in our car so you can ride with Rhoan. Kay? Bye." I say quickly and push Darla into Rhoan.

Then I run in the opposite direction and lock Gabriel, my parents and myself in the car.

Gabriel drives away and the others follow behind.

"We're so proud of you, sweet pea." My father says while rubbing my shoulder.

"Thanks daddy."

Gabriel picks up my hand and kisses it.

Graduating didn't feel like a big deal but now it does.

We eventually get to the restaurant and start waiting for the table to be ready.

Out of the corner of my eye, I notice my sister and Rhoan go to the bar. They sit down and he buys her a glass of white wine. They are so goona become a thing! I know it! His wild and laid back personality will tame her snotty and grown up 'tude.

"Your table is ready." A waiter with a skinny black mustache says.

Rhoan helps Darla off the bar stool and they wander this way. I search for Gabriel's hand but he's talking with my mother so I take the lead and follow the waiter to a table in the back.

Before I see the table I hear this deep, very familiar laugh.

'But...it can't be!' I thought to myself.

When I saw him lounging at the table, and drinking beer I knew it was him. And if I wasn't sure, then there wasn't a doubt in my mind when I saw him flirting with a waitress.

"RYDER!" I screamed and then jumped on top of him.

"Josie! Hey kid, how are ya?"

His hands closed around my back, giving me the best big brother hug ever!

"How am I?" I ask incredulously, "I just graduated from college!"

"Shit! Really?" He really didn't know! That jerk! But hey, that's my brother for ya lol

"Yup. Where's my present?" I joke as I settle into the chair next to him.

He takes his time answering, he even takes a minute to finish his drink.

Finally he comes up with an answer, "Its being delivered."

I laugh. Ryder would definitely say that! Its a pretty good excuse too, if you don't already know him.

"I love you, Ryder." I kiss his cheek.

Behind me, I notice a low grumble coming out of Gabriel's chest.

"Oh! Ryder, meet Valentina, Demetri, Alec, Faine, Chelsea, Afton, Vera, Lottie, Bastien, and Rhoan. And last, but not least, is my fiancé Gabriel."

Ryder takes a second to take in all the names and faces, he pushes his long brown hair out of his eyes.

"Gabriel, this is my older brother, Ryder."

"Nice to meet you," he holds his hand out politely for Ryder to shake.

Ryder takes his hand, "ya got cold hands, pal. You getting cold feet about marrying my sister already? Well, cold hands then. Ha!" My brother has an odd sense of humor, a humor that Gabriel can't understand.

"Uh? What?" Gabriel says.

"Never mind! Just take a seat." We all sit around the table.

Almost right away, Ryder leans over to me and in a loud whisper says, "Sis, are you sure you wanna marry this guy? He's way to serious and is about as alive as a dead fish! Or anything dead as a matter of fact!"

I giggle and reassure him that Gabriel and I are meant to be.

When the waitress comes over we order some drinks.

I laugh when Ryder orders another beer.

"Dude! Its a 5 star restaurant and your drinking beer?"

Just as he replies, "You would do the same!" Gabriel orders a glass of red wine for me.

"Oh. You have changed." He says disappointed.

Changed? No. I hadn't...had I? Is my brother right? Was I no longer the girl who went against the crowd? The girl who was wild and reckless?

I accept my glass, defeated. I had changed, but I'm convinced it wasn't a bad change. I finally found Gabriel, I changed because of him but not FOR him.

But I'd also changed from who I was, who my brother and I were. I noticed something: my brother hadn't changed from who he was but I did...was Dale right then? Oh my god! Was I really growing up?

"Ryder, we're so glad you got our message and was able to come for your sister!" My mother says nicely. She's really funny with Ryder, in our younger years she would always cry and say 'where did I go wrong?' when he would walk into the room. Lmao! It was so funny.

"Yeah, I'm glad my parol officer gave it to me, I really missed Josie."

Gabriel almost choked on what he was drinking.

"' Parol officer'?" He asked, scared and still choking.

"Yeah. I went to jail." He says like its no big deal. Of course I knew this! It was old news to me, though I never knew why. All I'd known was that he would get out eventually.

"Yeah, what exactly did you do, Ryder?" I asked him.

Looking straight at Gabriel, he replies, "I killed a man...with a magazine." The way he said it! He was dead serious and seemed kinda happy about it!

"Okay, I think we should leave." Gabriel says, grabbing my hand.

"Hunny, he's joking. Come on, bro, what did you really do?"

My brother picks of a fork and plays with it, "I got caught."

And that's all we got from him. He stopped talking until well into dinner. Gabriel was able to sit down again and chill, Rhoan comforted Darla who was really upset about her brother getting arrested. And me, well, I was happy to be back with my disfunctional brother! We were like twins, except we aren't twins. We are as thick as thieves, you could say

But Ryder was always one step ahead of me. When I was just getting started, he was a pro. When I stayed out late, he stayed out later.

When I skipped a class, he skipped several.

That's my life. But no matter how behind him I was, he was still my partner in crime!

We ate, or some of us did

And when dinner was done we were all heading out to the cars to go home when I spotted a familiar site.

"You brought your bike?"

I run over to my brothers big black harley and start it up. The engine roared and the leather seat felt familiar and comfortable under me.

"You can drive with me, Jo." Ryder says nicely.

But Gabriel grabs his arm, "Are you okay to drive?" He asks defensively.

My brother gets this really weird look on his face and growls out, "Let. Go."

Gabriel doesn't though.

"I'm fine, old man." Ryder throws Gabriel's hand off his arm and walks over to me and the bike. He sits in the front and we drive away.

Oh god, it was wonderful to feel the wind in my face and to hear that familiar purr of the engine! But instead of getting onto the dirt road that leads to the house, Ryder drives towards town. We stop right outside a tattoo shop.

"What do ya say, sis? Matching tattoos?"

I laugh as I get off the bike.

"Matching? No. But I'll get one with you."

"Schveet!"

We walk into the shop and look at all the tattoos on the wall.

"Johanna, this one on my ass."

He's pointing to a heart with barbed wire around it and the word 'Mom' in the middle.

"Excuse me, sir." He says to the artist, "Instead of 'mom' can you write 'Gabriel'? Is that possible?"

I snort out laughter and Ryder laughs with me.

"Son, are you drunk or something?" The burly artist asks.

He actually made us laugh more! We were both on the floor in tears. Ryder calms down before I do and keeps looking at the designs. He must've chosen one because he sits in the chair and says, "I'm always drunk."

I laugh again and sit in the other chair. A big biker guy comes out of the back to do my design. I told him I just wanted to add the names 'Darla' and 'Ryder' to my design on my ankle.

The machines start up at the same time and break skin together. I look over at Ryder and he's sitting backwards.

"Your really getting a tattoo on your ass?"

"Yup." He replies happily.

As I'm paying the artists Ryder waits outside. I thank them and tell them I might be back soon for a piercing or another tattoo.

When I walk outside, a cloud of smoke hits my face.

I wave my hands and cough it out.

"What the hell, Ryder?"

"Sorry."

"Why do those smell so awful? When did you start smoking? You hate cigarettes!"

He gets all moody.

"I guess I changed, Johanna. Just like you did." I don't like when he doesn't talk to me, " Get on the bike." He grumbles.

The bike roars to life and we travel the dirt path to the main house.

Just like Ryder thought, Gabriel was standing outside waiting.

"We got worried about you." He says more to me than my brother.

Then he notices the bandage on my foot/ankle.

"Jeez. What now?"

"I added to my tattoo!" I say cheerfully, "wanna see?" I pull back the bandage and show him the red spots that say 'Darla' and 'Ryder'.

"Of course you would get that name." He says barely loud enough for me to hear.

I was going to argue with him but Ryder buts in, "Wanna see mine, Gabriel? You inspired it, ya know."

"I think you should go inside and go to bed. Both of you."

He storms inside.

"Is that a 'no' then?" My brother calls after him.

I take his arm and show him around and finally he ends up in one of the rooms Faine had made up for me.

I'm exhausted! Seeing my family is great again and I'm having so much fun! But trying to keep Gabriel and Ryder from killing each other is going to be a problem.

11 days until the wedding!

-Johanna


	73. AS THICK AS THIEVES Johanna's POV

AS THICK AS THIEVES... (Johanna's POV)

March 8th, 2013

Dear diary,

I woke up to the sound of some heavy metal music. It might have been the most unpleasant experience ever!

But it wasn't always that way:

When we were still in high school, my brother moved out of the house because my parents didn't like what he was getting himself into. Ryder got himself an apartment that wasn't close enough for me. I missed my bro way too much! So one morning, as I was late for school, I told my parents that I was going to move in with him. They were devastated! But they couldn't just kick MY BROTHER out! I loved him despite the messed up things he was getting into.

We lived together for about 6months before my parents decided they would rather him be home so when he does show up at 9 o'clock in the morning, or 4 am, they at least know he's safe.

During those 6 months, I would wake up every morning to the sound of heavy metal music or a guitar shredding up the track. I loved it then, I was used to it. It still woke me up at odd hours, but Ryder slept through it all.

"'They're gonna clean up your looks

With all the lies in the books

To make a citizen out of you

Because they sleep with a gun

And keep an eye on you, son

So they can watch all the things you do

Because the drugs never work

They're gonna give you a smirk

Cause they got methods

Of keeping you clean

They're gonna rip up your heads

Your aspirations to shreds

Another cog in the murder machine,'"

Ryder is lying face down on the couch with an ice pack on his ass.

"Do you remember this, Jo?" He asks. I do remember, good times.

"'They said all teenagers scare the living shit out of me

They could care less as long as someone'll bleed

So darken your clothes

Or strike a violent pose

Maybe they'll leave you alone

But not me

The boys and girls in the clique

The awful names that they stick

You're never gonna fit in much kid

But if you're troubled and hurt

What you got under your shirt

Will make them pay for the things that they did,'" we start rocking out to the song.

"'Teenagers scare the living shit out of me

They could care less as long as someone'll bleed

So darken your clothes

Or strike a violent pose

Maybe they'll leave you alone

But not me'"

I grab Ryder another ice pack and hand it to him.

"This goes to show you that the butt is not made to handle tattoos."

"Yeah well, it wasn't my best idea."

"Dude! Were you smoking inside the house?"

He yawns and stretches his arms, "Possibly."

I open all the windows, the smell is horrendous! And he laughs at my reaction.

"Wait a second, were you drinking? Breathe." I command.

"God, Johanna! Can't I have a peaceful vacation without people riding on my case?"

"Its 9 o'clock in the morning!" I say back.

"Yeah but its like 4 o'clock in Saudi Arabia. Or something like that."

The song had ended. I was in a bad mood.

"Where is everybody?" I ask while pouring us cereal.

"A nature hike or something. I don't know and don't care." He accepts his cereal and I push his legs out of my way so I can sit.

When he finishes his cereal he starts tapping the spoon to the bowl, I do the same.

We looked at each other, had the same thought, ran off the couch, up the stairs, to our rooms and then came back.

We had on our aviator sunglasses and I pretended to be shredding a guitar.

"'I study nuclear science

I love my classes

I got a crazy teacher, he wears dark glasses'" Ryder sings.

"'Things are going great, and they're only getting better

I'm doing all right, getting good grades

The future's so bright, I gotta wear shades,

I gotta wear shades

I've got a job waiting for my graduation

Fifty thou a year - buys a lot of beer

Things are going great, and they're only getting better

I'm doing all right, getting good grades

The future's so bright, I gotta wear shades

I gotta wear shades

Well I'm heavenly blessed and worldly wise

I'm a peeping-tom techie with x-ray eyes

Things are going great, and they're only getting better

I'm doing all right, getting good grades

The future's so bright, I gotta wear shades

I gotta wear shades '" I shred up the non existent guitar and my brother does some weird rockstar moves.

We finish our song and Ryder throws his fist into the air and says, "Thank you Ireland! I'll be here through the wedding!"

Ryder runs off into the closet and comes back with Gabriel's leather duster on.

"Okay, who am I?" He walks forward a little.

"Gabriel." I say matter of factly.

"No! Judd Nelson in Breakfast Club."

" You forgot the fist pump at the end."

We fist pump together and hysterical laugh.

Ryder then goes into the kitchen and pulls out all the pots and pans and hands me a pair of wooden spoons and he pulls a pair out of his pocket. We start jamming on the pasta pots and brownie pans like we were 6 years old and no one was watching. I swear, this is the most fun I've had in forever!

Then we hear the door open and Jordan walks in with Sophia.

I notice right away and drop my spoons, but Ryder didn't notice until I kicked him.

"Where is everyone? Who is he?" She asks worried.

I give Sophia a hug and reply, "He's my brother. Jordan this is Ryder. Ryder, Jordan."

"Nice to meet you," he says.

"And I'm Sophia!" Her clear little voice rings out.

"Of course! How could I forget about you, cutie?"

She taps Ryder on the shoulder, "Can I play too, Mister?"

"He-" Jordan glares at him, "Heck. Heck yeah you can!"

He hands her the spoons that were mine and they sit there like little kids jamming out.

"I had no idea your brother was coming." She says to me.

"I didn't either! Actually my parents and sister are here too. I know its bad timing, Jordan, but they're here for the wedding and..yeah."

"Well, I just wish I at least knew about it."

"I know. I forgot all about it, they showed up for my graduation and all, I'm sorry. But this won't stop helping Sophia to prepare until the actual day of the wedding when I need her to be the flower girl."

"That's fine. But like I said, I wish I had known."

We talk a little more with Jordan's eyes never once leaving Ryder and Sophia.

"Is there something wrong with him?" She finally asks.

"No, he's just naturally like that."

"Was he always?"

"No. It got worse in our teenage years."

"Well, please tell me he's not certifiable, please?"

"He's not."

"Thank god! I would've had a stroke!"

I laugh and then watch my brother sitting on the floor banging pots and pans with little Sophia.

Jordan and I talk about the wedding for a while. Am I excited? Yes. Nervous? Not at all. Ready? I guess.

"Jo, I have to go out. But I'll be back soon."

"Where are you going? You don't know anybody or anyplace here?" I argue.

"I'm on a vacation. Get off my case, Johanna."

He closes the door and we hear the motorcycle pull out of the driveway.

"He's a very interesting person." Jordan comments.

"He's funny." Sophia smiles.

The door opens and Gabriel is standing there with the rest of the family close behind.

They all walk back inside and ask why all the pots and pans are on the floor.

"Goodmorning, mom. Goodmorning, dad." I say, crossing the floor to give them hugs.

"Uh, well, Ryder and I were pretending we were drumers and then Jordan and Sophia showed up so I gave my spoons to Sophia so she and Ryder could play."

My mom starts saying how Ryder and I used to do that all the time when we were kids and even when we were teenagers.

Throughout all of this, Gabriel can't take his eyes off me. He doesn't even say anything to me. And that hurts a lot. I usually don't need him to say anything to me, I just know how he feels and that he loves me. But his eyes seem empty, lost and I don't know what he's feeling, if he loves me, anymore. He just stares at me, as if he's waiting for an explanation, or an apology.

The apology he wants is one I can't, and won't, give. What do I have to be sorry about? The fact that I'm alive? The fact that I'm happy being insane with my brother? The fact that I missed him so much and that I won't see him much anymore?

Unless- unless Gabriel is jealous? Ryder and I have so many inside jokes and so many stories. But even stronger than that is Ryder and I have a strong past that involved long nights talking, sneeking out, partying and being together since birth. The strongest part of Gabriel's and my past is death. There is also that love that we have but it was instant, there was hardly much behind it at first.

Ryder has life to live and Gabriel doesn't.

Gabriel refuses to live the life he could, the life that Ryder and I live.

10 days until the wedding.

-Johanna


	74. HYPOCRITICAL

HYPOCRITICAL... (Gabriel's POV)

March 10th, 2013

I hate Johanna's brother, Ryder. As a matter of fact, I'm not even going to say his name again! As sure as Kali is HER, that psycho can be HIM.

He is the worst influence ever, he's like a child unless he's being watched, he's irresponsible, and...he's Johanna's brother. Alive and full of life, living every moment, laughing every laugh. Just like his sister.

Deep down, I've known how alive she is, I experienced it when she first lived here, but she seemed to have changed around us and has just changed back being around HIM. I feel like I'm living with Doctor Jekyll and Mister Hyde, except Johanna isn't being mean or destructive.

I wake up in the morning to see Johanna's soft, sweet face relaxed and happy while she dreams her wonderful dreams. Her hair lies in a braid across her pillow, her hands grip the comforter to her for warmth, and her long eye lashes touch her rosy cheeks...

And then she wakes up.

Her hair becomes a wild mess of curls, her hands become weapons of desire, her cheeks are placed into wild grins and her eyes hold a fire of delight and action. She sleeps in my boxers and my shirts. She wakes up and wears her shorts a tank top, high tops and HIS denim shirt. She used to drive her jeep wrangler that I bought for her, now she does tricks and rides on HIS motorcycle.

My love who sang beautiful melodies now jumps on couches and screeches music of death and rock!

This is all thanks to her brother. Such a man I wish to never see again in my life. But Darla, a perfect image of grace and tranquility is the sibling I much more prefer.

According to Johanna, we are all having dinner together so Jordan, Josh, and Sophia can meet her parents and sister.

I only hope to God that she doesn't sit me anywhere near HIM or anywhere that I have to see his face!

I wander down the hall, dressed for dinner, and see the bathroom light on. Usually I'm not particularly nosy, but the light is on and the door is mostly shut save for a crack. So I walk past then think I should turn out the light. I'm about to open the door to turn out the light when I catch a glimpse from the mirror. I see HIM sitting on the edge of the tub, his right arm sticking out and a string tied above his elbow. I keep watching, wondering what he's doing, and then I see him un-cap a needle.

"What the hell are you doing?" I scream as I fling open the door.

It doesn't faze him at all.

"Turn around and pretend you didn't see anything," he commands.

I didn't move! No way in hell could I just turn around and pretend I didn't see anything.

"Fine then. Come in and shut the door."

I shut the door and watch him tap the vein in his elbow.

"What do you think your doing?"

"What does it look like, McCreepy?" He asks sarcastically.

"No. No way are you doing that in my house." But before I could stop him he already stuck the needle into his arm and drained the fluid.

"Its okay. Its Faine's house, not yours."

He tosses the empty needle towards me and I catch it.

I watch that stupid boy un-tie the string and then put a long sleeved shirt on.

He gets up and stands in front of me, "Are you goona move or do I have to go around ya?"

There's sweat on his forehead and he won't look me in the eye.

"You are never going to do that EVER again."

"You don't own me. And you can't tell me what to do. Unlike my sister, I won't listen."

He tries shoving his way past me...and I shove him into the wall.

"Don't you ever talk about Johanna like that EVER again! You will regret it." I yell.

"Is that a threat?" The little punk laughs in my face.

"Its a promise."

I let go of him and wait for him to walk away. After he is gone I needed to take my frustration out on something so I drove my hand through the wall. And then I silently cursed myself because I forgot about Johanna's family still being here.

I listen to what's going on downstairs.

Johanna is worried about Ryder. He doesn't look so good. Ryder ignores Johanna who is trying to get him to lay down or to rest. Ryder tells Johanna he won't be able to stay for dinner since he has to go out.

Susan (Johanna's mom) cries and says 'where did I go wrong?' as Ryder closes the front door behind him and drives his motorcycle away from the house. Even though she doesn't say anything, she's as silent as the grave, her heart is breaking and its screaming out for care and attention.

I get rid of the needle and then wander down the stairs.

I kiss Johanna's forehead and hold her. I hope she knows that I love her, even though she seems different, and that I shouldn't have to say so.

"Okay. So I need some sheet rock, and the paint that you used for the bathroom."

"What?" Faine and Johanna both screeched.

"I'll go get it myself. Just keep Richard and Susan out of there." I say and trudge out the door.

I find some paint in the shed in the back yard but I still need sheet rock and all that so I go out to the store and buy it. Then I decide to visit Rodrick. For some reason I missed him a lot.

It was starting to get dark when I approached the steep hill, and the darkness grew when the branches from the trees over head started groaning from the wind. I had ditched the sheet rock a while back, no way was I bringing that stuff to S.D.S! I would've looked way too human!

"It feels good to be back." I say to the darkness.

"We welcome you back." The darkness says back.

I can't see them, but I sense them closing in, flanking my sides.

"Its good to have you back," the darkness whispers and kisses my jaw.

It was Brielle. Only she would greet me that way, and only her mate wouldn't mind her kissing me.

I throw open the front door, there are a few early bird humans there, Reaper smiles at me from behind the bar, his red eyes deep and thirsty. And Rodrick sits casually in his throne at the back of the room.

'Brother, your visits grow fewer and longer apart.' His voice says in my head.

He hasn't moved though, and his ancient red eyes don't blink at my reaction or the movement in the room.

"I'm sorry," I whisper and in less than half a second I am kneeling in front of him.

'Kings don't beg for forgiveness.' He says so only I can hear.

Rodrick always calls me a king, he pretends I am royalty. But I'm not, I don't deserve a title like that after all the suffering I've caused, my human side knows that. But even after being here for only a few minutes I sense my vampire side returning and enjoying the attention.

"You all are invited to a wedding." I say to Rodrick and my vampire friends.

"Cool! Congrats then!" Reaper and Skye cheer.

"Its your funeral," Stormy and Lara joke.

"That's great, friend." Ripper smiles.

Brielle looks like she's trying to cry, she turns and runs out of the building.

I look to Rodrick for his approval.

'I hope you plan on turning her. A mere human isn't worth your time.'

'I want her turned but she doesn't want to live forever.' I say in my head.

"She isn't just any human. She's my human."

"Very well then," I hear the bolts on the door click behind me, "Let's celebrate your engagement to the human called Johanna."

The humans don't get it yet. Not even when we approach them and put our pale arms around their shoulders.

Right before all the screams start, I look and see Reaper sitting on top the stereo, a pointy toothed grin as he turns the stereo all the way past its maximum volume.

And then we feed. I'm excited by the screams and the attempts to get away. So excited that I let my prey go and watch it kick at the windows and doors for freedom. I sit back and laugh, a real laugh as if someone had just told me the funniest joke imaginable. Rodrick then releases his prey and laughs with me as we watch the wasted attempts to reach freedom. The others do the same and soon we are all laughing.

I'm the first to stop and then leap at my food and rip its head off. The blood splatters against the window and I then help myself to his blood.

Rodrick was the only one feeding on his prey normally, everyone else was ripping off body parts or something.

"Join in on the sport, Rodrick."

I notice that his human was eerily still and not putting up any sort of fight as Rodrick fed. The human falls away, I notice I hole in her chest and I see Rodrick holding her heart. He laughs and tosses the heart behind him. Reaper catches it in his mouth and sucks away the extra blood.

'And you thought I only partake in the art of sucking blood! I'm in it for the sport, young one.'

I drain a few more humans then excuse myself.

"I have to go help with dinner now." I smile.

My friends bid me farewell and yell at me for being such a housewife.

Outside I start running back to the house.

I hear a whistle coming from the tree tops. I look up and Brielle is sitting there swinging my sheet rock and other supplies.

"Forget something?" She drops to the ground and tosses the stuff at me.

"Thanks-"

" I wasn't talking about those things. I was talking about my 'goodbye'."

Her eyes no longer looked like she could cry.

"Its not goodbye. I'm still going to work at-"

She stands right in front of me and touches my chest where my scar is. I have to look down to see her and she has to look up to see me.

In a whisper, she says, "You didn't give me a chance to fight for you."

I want to be gentle with her but I'm not sure how.

I think it sounded mean, but I ended up saying, "There never was a chance. Johanna is the one for me."

Brielle looks close to tears again. I lean down and press a quick kiss against her stone lips.

And then I'm gone. Running through the forest and over the hills.

"Where were you?" Faine asks as I walk through the door.

Her eyes go wide at all the blood covering me.

"I was visiting Rodrick. He's excited for our wedding, Johanna."

I give her a kiss on the cheek and put my arms around her.

What I didn't expect was for her to turn around and shove me away with such force. I was caught off guard.

"YOU'RE JUST SO HAPPY ARENT YOU?" Johanna screams at me.

"What?" She's scaring me!

"YOU KNOW THAT MY BROTHER ISNT PERFECT AND THAT MAKES YOU SO DAMN HAPPY!"

"Johanna, no." Well, it kinda does.

"I HATE YOU! YOU WERE JEALOUS OF HIM AND NOW YOU'RE GLAD THAT HE DOES DRUGS AND HES NOT PERFECT!"

Not completely true, "Who says I'm glad that your brother is a drug addict?"

"Don't call him that!" She snaps.

"Fine. I'm glad he's not perfect! But its not my fault!"

"LEAVE. I HATE YOU!"

"Johanna, we're having dinner with your parents-" Faine tries to explain.

"Fine." She says looking at me, "But YOU are not sitting where I can see you. I have to go change since you got blood all over my clothes! You're such a jerk!"

She starts walking up the stairs then decides to yell at me again.

"YOUR SUCH A HYPOCRITE! You talk about me changing and being unrecognizable!" She gets eerily calm, "Well take a look in the mirror. Your one person for Rodrick and another for us. You want to know who your marrying? Well, I wanna know who I'm marrying." She stomps up the stairs and slams her door shut.

I look at Faine who looks away and then I stomp up the stairs and into the bathroom to fix the wall.

So the wall is almost fixed, just have to give it another coat of paint.

But I had to change my clothes and dinner was ready. I dash to my room and quickly make myself presentable. Brush my hair, put on new clothes, hide the old ones. But then I figure I should just take a shower to make sure all the blood is off. The water starts running and all the blood runs down the drain, leaving a pink tinge to the shower floor.

I shampoo my hair and even some blood comes out of that!

Yeah so I get out of the shower and put my jeans back on but when I wipe the steam from the mirror, I wish I hadn't even taken a shower. My hair is tinted blue! Blue for gods sake!

How the hell did this happen?

I jog down the stairs and look at everyone sitting at the table.

"Alright. Who did this?" I ask pointing at my hair.

The entire table erupts into laughter.

"I'm serious, guys." Even Johanna is smiling and laughing. She looks generally pleased.

"Is this payback or something?" I ask her.

No one can answer me. They are all to busy holding their sides laughing. Even Richard and Susan are laughing at the absurd color of my hair.

I stand there impatiently waiting for them to stop. And eventually they do.

"Oh, Gabriel," Johanna says, still giggling, but her voice is soft and warm, "Just come sit down and eat."

Alec tosses a clean shirt at me and I shrug into it and take the seat next to Richard.

We have a nice dinner and for a while everything seems fine and we forget about what might be coming for us soon. But dinner ends, the guys fight to have the girls do dishes, the girls fight for the guys to do the dishes. The guys end up winning. But I sneak to the upstairs bathroom to put another coat of paint on the wall. That gets finished quickly and the wall looks exactly as it did before I punched a hole through it. I close the paint can and take it back out to the shed.

I can't believe that someone put blue hair dye in my shampoo! That's so stupid...I hope it comes out before the wedding.

The sudden urge to just run for no reason hits me. And I decide to follow that urge. The wind slides over my face and through my hair as I race against the moon.

I had reached a place that felt sacred. There wasn't any special reason. It was just a hill over looking a field and not far away was a lake or something.

The silence is broken by an ear shattering howl off towards the lake.

I follow the sound, running as fast as my vampire feet will take me, and stop just inside the boundary of trees. Across the lake, on the rocky shore, is a werewolf.

A werewolf.

Well it couldn't be anything else! It was huge! Huge as in :a monstrous size! Its mouth was huge, with big pointed teeth and green slime oozing out of its mouth! It was a weird skinny looking thing with black hair sticking in every direction and places around its neck and side matted with blood.

It gripped something in its mouth and threw it out towards the lake. It turns out the creature was battling another werewolf. A smaller one, that really didn't stand a chance. I stood in awe and watched the two creatures fighting. Biting into each others necks and tearing at whatever skin they could grasp. I watched in amazement as the bigger wolf killed the smaller one. After making sure it was dead, it stood up on its two back legs and howled. It kept walking around on two legs, just like a person. And that actually made it seem uglier and creepier since it was really skinny and...it wasn't anything like the wolves the Cullens know. It wasn't even like anything the Grimm brothers could describe.

I back up like I'm going to leave and I accidentally snap a branch. I silently curse myself and slowly look up to see if the creature heard me.

Only...when I looked up...it was gone. I wait silently for a minute, listening for it. Off to my right trees shake and a deep growl sends birds flying away, and other animals running for their lives.

I turn and run for my own and by the time I'm standing on the first hill I realize that it didn't follow me. The creature instead scared me off but stayed where it was. Well, I take no chances. I kept running back for home. Once I was inside, I closed and locked the door then shut all the drapes on the windows.

"Where are they?" I ask.

The guys and kids are lounging on the couch and the girls and Rhoan are in the kitchen.

"The humans?" Valentina mouthes.

I nod.

"Richard, Susan, and Johanna went to bed. Why?" Faine says maturely.

I signal the guys to get up and come listen.

Once everyone was close by and in suspense, I told them, "Ireland is infested with werewolves."

-Gabriel

8 days until the wedding!


	75. HE SMELLS WEIRD

HE SMELLS WEIRD...

March 14th, 2013

They all laughed. They didn't believe me. How could they not? How often do I joke? (Never.) How often do you hear of a vampire that sees things that aren't really there? (You don't.)

The only one who believed me was Jordan, you could tell cause she got really still and she didn't laugh.

Rhoan also sort of believed me but he laughed with everyone else.

"Daddy? What's everyone laughing at?" Sophia asks as she crawls into his lap. Vera takes her position snuggled by Lottie and Bastien.

"Your Uncle Gabriel is being very silly and he's making some insane jokes."

The group laughs again.

"Hey, is this the wine? Or the blood?" Rhoan asks studying the bottles on the counter.

"Wine is on the right." Demetri replies.

"Great," Rhoan goes to pour himself a glass, "Wait, your right? Or mine?" He asks.

"Mine." Demetri says.

Rhoan grabs the other bottle and pours himself some.

"What is that, Uncle Rhoan?" Vera and Sophia ask.

They are too cute, and also a little creepy. The should just be sisters since they always end up saying the same thing at the same time!

"Wine. Would you two like some?" He says.

The little girls nod their heads.

I panic a little, surely Rhoan isn't so twisted as to give little girls alcohol?

But I saw him wink at us as he went to get 2 wine glasses and quickly fill them with grape juice.

"Wine is usually for adults but you two are so well behaved and so grown up that I think you can have a little." He says while placing the glasses in front of them.

"Mommy! I'm just like you and Daddy!" Sophia squeals in delight.

We all smile and then laugh at how sophisticated Vera looks holding her glass.

"Have fun with your werewolves, Gabriel." Lottie and Bastien laugh as they leave.

Josh gets up to leave too but Jordan wants to hear more so she kisses Sophia goodnight and waits to hear more about the werewolves.

"Yeah. We better go to before it gets to dark," Demetri says, "After all, we don't want Gabriel's werewolves to come get us."

He and Valentina laugh as they walk out the door. Now I have Faine and Alec and Chelsea and Afton. But Chelsea isn't really paying attention, she's doing girly girl stuff and Alec doesn't look like he believes any of it!

"Faine, YOU have to believe me! Cause if you believe me then everyone else will." I plead to her.

"Well, its there in your mind, I can see it, and it does look as hideous as you said. But, what if its just a dream or something? What if you decided to turn human standing on that hill and then you tripped and fell and hit your head? And what if you just imagined it all?"

"Don't dreams look different to you though?" I ask looking between Faine and Jordan, "Don't they seem, I don't know, fuzzy? Or something?"

"Not always. Usually we can tell if its a dream by what happens in it." Jordan replies.

I'm out of points to argue. All I know is that I saw the damn werewolf! It was ugly! And it was DEFINITLY a werewolf!

"Rhoan, you believe me, right?" I plead. He's my last defense.

He shrugs and stands up, "I'm still here because I live here." Then he gets up to start rinsing his glass and Vera's and Sophia's.

Faine gives me a 'you-heard-it-from-the-expert' look.

"Besides," Rhoan continues while innocently washing glasses, "Werewolves prefer London."

I return Faine's look.

In my mind I tell Jordan and Faine 'Its only a short trip for humans, an even shorter trip for vampires, and who knows how short of a trip for werewolves.'

Jordan seems completely captivated and Faine looks like she's starting to really accept the fact that Ireland might really be infested with werewolves.

"Rhoan?" He looks up as he finishes putting the glasses away, "Could you show us what you know about werewolves?" Faine asks.

Jordan believes me, I know that, she doesn't need statistics or anything. But Faine does. We're vampires, so I don't understand why this seems so impossible to her.

"Some people in this household, no matter how awesome they are," he says referring to himself, "are not vampires and DO need sleep. Besides, I'm not recovered from waking up at 6 the other day." We're prepared to have to wait, "HOWEVER I will show you."

He takes out the wine glass again and pours himself another glass.

We laugh as he goes to get his "secret" book. Even though we all know about it, and it definitely is not a secret.

Two glasses of wine later, Rhoan is saying goodnight and we don't know much more than we did an hour ago. Werewolves, believe it or not, prefer more populated areas, in order for a thrill and to create trouble when they kill someone. We learned nothing except that they are nothing like the shy creatures from novels, they don't play games, they like creating trouble and grabbing people out of alleys...nobody lives long enough to tell the tale. Whether they die from injury...or the wolves come after them on the rare occasion they get away.

"Don't expect to see me until at least noon." Rhoan warns.

I smile a little, Rhoan sleeps like the dead anyway, but he still isn't recovered from when I woke him up at 6 on the day of Johanna's graduation. He was so grumpy! And I'm more than sure that he doesn't remember anything that happened that morning, he was so out of it and I never heard him curse so much in all the time that I knew him.

Rhoan is gone now. Just me, Faine and Jordan are still sitting in the kitchen.

"Is this really happening?" Jordan whispers, "Can Ireland really be full of werewolves?"

We look at Faine.

"I've never seen, heard, or smelt a werewolf here in all the amount of time that I've been here."

"Do you think Sophia's father sent them? To take care of her? Or us?" Jordan asks.

"I don't know. But these are definitely not Jacob Black kinds of wolves. These have to be the real thing. As in, the kinds that ate Little Red Riding Hood." I reply.

"Little Red Riding Hood didn't get eaten." Faine and Jordan say confused.

"Well, I don't know what stories you've been reading but in mine she gets eaten."

And with that, the girls are done talking to me for the night.

That was three days ago...

Every free minute that I had was spent trying to learn more about these horrific creatures. But I also had to entertain Susan and Richard and I had to pretend to Johanna that everything was alright. I'm about to bring her into this dark world where everything goes bump in the night...no way in Hell am I going to make it even harder for her by telling her werewolves are real.

That evening Johanna came to me and said, "I need you to do me a favor."

And I said, "Of course."

I didn't realize it then but I had just said the words that drove the final nail into my coffin.

"Take Ryder and go out to dinner." She commands.

To say that I was surprised would be an understatement. I was shocked, and furious, and dumbfounded!

"You two are going to be brother-in-laws in 4 days! I need you to like him, or at least not mind him."

"But he's a-" I was going to say drug addict. But I thought about and I really didn't want to have a fight with her again, "He's impossible!"

"I'm paying for it. Just take him to the grill and bar in town, they have live music and beer, be nice and talk with him. I'm sure it will be fine."

Fine. What a word. But I won't give anything away just now.

So I unfortunately had the "great pleasure" of dining with Him tonight.

It was almost time for dinner so I was going downstairs to look for the little jerk.

But, as usual, I passed the bathroom. The light was on, the door was slightly open. I open it up and lo and behold! There is Ryder jamming a needle into his arm.

"What the Hell? I thought I told you I better not ever catch you doing that in Faine's house ever again!"

"So stop coming in here all the time then! By the way, nice blue hair." He says with a smirk.

That- what an extremely impossible, sniveling, piece of shit of a human being!

"You put blue dye in my shampoo?" I was pissed.

"No shit Sherlock. Who else do you think would have done it?"

That little punk ass.

"God, your such a vampire!" He says.

I paused. A vampire? How could he have known? I-i was panicking.

"Why would you say something like that?" I ask calmly, not letting my facade slip.

"Because you suck the fun out of everything! Your no fun, your like a bajillion years older than my sister and your way to serious, to quiet."

Very observant. I am not serious! I might be the most lively person ever!

I look at the needle again, "We're about to go out to dinner."

"Well, I gotta get through it somehow." He replies and shoves past me.

I quickly find Johanna and tell her I won't do it. I will not go out to dinner with him.

"Why not?" She asks.

"He smells weird." I reply.

She gives me this blank stare, a stare that says 'are-you-kidding-me'.

"I will never let you forget this if you don't do it." She replies slowly. Each word is filled with rage.

"Fine." I grumble as I leave.

Ryder is sitting on his motorcycle, I have the keys to the car. I didn't ask him if he wanted to ride in the car. I wasn't going to. And even if I did, I knew he wouldn't accept my offer.

So I led him to the bar Johanna suggested. We sat by the stage and music was being blasted into our ears.

Ryder orders a beer. I ask for a glass of water and receive a weird look from the waitress.

The waitress comes back with our drinks and then takes our order. He orders like three deluxe cheeseburgers and I order a plain salad. Again, I receive a weird look from the waitress. I'm a vampire. I couldn't just eat nothing! So I had to order the smallest, plainest thing possible.

After she is gone I lean close to him and ask, "Should you be drinking after you...you know?"

I was referring to the drugs but I didn't want to say it out loud.

He laughed like I was stupid or something and ignored my question.

All I could think was that if something happens I was not going to put my fangs into his blood and ingest his drug and alcohol filled blood. I don't care if he's Johanna's favorite sibling, I WOULD NOT do it.

Our food came. Ryder finished all three of his burgers as if they were nothing. So then he orders a rack of ribs and then hot wings.

Now, he's a skinny kid and I was starting to wonder where all this food was going. But, Johanna also ate like that so I wasn't too worried.

He was finally done with all that food, I had been done with my salad for a while, and we were just listening to the music.

I don't know how to describe the mixture of thoughts and feelings that I had next...

A new waitress walked by to a different table and Ryder was watching her. As she walked past us again...he howled. Not a lazy kind of raunchy kid howl. A real howl. Like he'd been doing it for years.

"Ryder?" I ask.

"Gabriel." He replies with a glint of fun in his eyes.

"We need to talk. Meet me out back in five minutes."

I left the table and walked around back. It was dark out and I was waiting to find out if Johanna's brother was a werewolf. And if he was...I was easy prey waiting for him in the alley.

-Gabriel


	76. FIVE MINUTES

FIVE MINUTES...

Night of March 14th, 2013

As I sat there waiting for him, each second seemed to drag on. And the longer I waited the worse of an idea this seemed.

3 minutes.

5 minutes.

8 minutes.

Where the hell is he? But, on second thought, do I really wanna know where he is? If he doesn't show up I think I would be fine with that.

If only I was so fortunate...

I looked towards the end of the alley and there he stood. His body faded into the night and the only distinguishing feature was the lighted end of the cigarette he was smoking.

"I said 5 minutes. Not 9."

"I agreed to meet you about my being a werewolf-"

"SHHHHH!" I said hurriedly.

"Wow, you really are uptight." He smiled.

I noticed something new about him: He has muscles. Big ones. Now it seemed possible that he is my werewolf.

He gave me a sickly sweet smile and then before I knew what was happening, he had me shoved against a building.

"I am not YOUR werewolf!" He yelled, "I'm not any bodies pet! And you would do perfectly well to always remember that!" He screamed.

And now he's a mind reader? I wonder what else he's heard me thinking? This could be very bad.

He continued, "Especially," his nails elongated into sharp dagger like claws, "When I can kill you."

Before he can threaten me any more I use my own nails to slice open his arm. He screeches in pain and let's me go.

Now I'm prepared for battle, but he is to. His chest is rising and falling rapidly, his eyes are consumed by blackness.

"You really shouldn't have done that." He says in a deep, strangled voice.

I knew a fight was going to take place but unlike these werewolves, we vampires prefer discretion. So I started climbing up the building until I was on the roof. I take a second to prepare and then I look over to see if Ryder can, or will, follow me. A huge black creature comes leaping up over the side of the building. It lands behind me and its just as ugly as I remember. Huge and freakishly skinny, black fur and deep black eyes that are all consuming. But how could one forget to talk about its ginormous snapping jaw and its sharp pointed teeth! Well, they're there! Ready to kill me!

"Not here." I tell the Ryder werewolf and then turn and jump across the roofs.

'No matter where we fight you will die.' That same deep voice says in my mind.

"Well what would Johanna do if her fiancée died?" I shout behind me. Never once taking my eyes off the path ahead.

'She'll get over you. After all, you killed her boyfriend that night in the woods in Pennsylvania. She got over him and she'll get over you too.'

And now I was shocked, I didn't now I had killed her boyfriend! I didn't even know she had had a boyfriend at the time! My complete shock makes me trip and I fall between buildings. I recover quickly and keep running, stopping for just a second could cause my death. I look behind me but Ryder is no where to be seen. I keep running anyway until I am inside the woods, that way no innocent bystanders would be hurt.

'Your in my territory now.' The deep growl is back.

I turn right. He's not there.

I turn left. Not there either.

So I keep running and circling around, all the time he is laughing in my head. But I can't see him anywhere.

I decide to look up, even though I'm sure I would have heard his weight on the branches. And when I do, Ryder is falling down on top of me. Before I can get loose, he sinks his powerful jaws into my shoulder.

I yell and try to pull myself away but he has a strong grip on me. He takes my body still locked in his jaw and throws me into a tree 100 yards away. The tree falls and I'm laying in the dirt amongst all the turned up roots and falling dirt.

I can't move. My body is going numb all over and my shoulder burns!

Ryder starts charging at me and there's no way I could move away in time. I wait a couple seconds and then reach under my belt which actually hurts like hell! The simplest of tasks and it burns!

Anyway, I pulled out a gun and aimed it at his heart. I pulled the trigger. The shot rang out in the woods. Ryder fell to the ground and phased back into a human. He was screaming in pain and holding his side.

"Shit, I missed." I say as I try to stand up.

I meant to pierce his heart but I guess because my shoulder was so bad I hit his side instead.

I'm finally standing up, well, leaning against a tree for support. It bothers me to no ends that I can't stand by myself!

"It hurts doesn't it?" I ask him as he bucks under the pain. The blood is really pouring out of that one small wound, "Its pure silver." I take pleasure in the look he has on his face. It makes me laugh but that causes me to fall from the pain it puts me in.

Ryder laughs at me and then the pain puts him in the same position I was in, "Fuck you!" He yells at me.

I laugh as I try standing up again and even that small chuckle makes the pain flare up and I fall. Again.

"'It hurts doesn't it?'" Ryder mocks me, "My poison is deadly to vampires. Your kind can usually recover right away but this time you won't. Your going to feel the pain of my poison for a long time. Have fun explaining why your limping around to Johanna." He says as I'm standing up again.

I start walking away.

"Come help me up and get me to your car." He calls out behind me.

I ignore him. Instead I take my cell phone out and text Rhoan.

To: Rhoan

From: Gabriel

Help

I knew I wasn't going to make it far before collapsing again. But I just wanted the small satisfaction of walking out of Ryder's sight while he was still stuck on the ground.

"Your seriously going to leave me here to bleed out? Fuck you, Gabriel!" He yells again and again until I'm out of sight.

As soon as I can't see or hear him anymore, I collapse on the ground and wait for Rhoan.

From: Rhoan

To: Gabriel

Do I need my med stuff?

I look at my shoulder, the pain flares just looking at it.

From: Gabriel

To: Rhoan

Yeah. U do.

Half a minute later he replies.

From: Rhoan

To: Gabriel

Where r u?

From: Gabriel

To: Rhoan

Should u be texting while driving? By some trees outside of town

Then I see the bright headlights coming my way. He had taken his black Ford truck for some weird reason. Rhoan is a small, skinny kid and I could never be able to picture him in a huge truck. He has style and he's...interesting...I just don't know why he drives a truck! He doesn't need that much space!

The car stops and Rhoan jumps out of the huge thing. He comes running over to me with a backpack slung over his shoulder.

"What happened?" He asks as he sits down next to me.

"I got attacked by the werewolf," Rhoan stops what he's doing, goes over to his truck and comes back with a notebook and a ruler.

He starts measuring my wounds, "Can you please stop the pain before you take your sweet time doing whatever?" I yell at him.

"No. I want to observe these while they're still fresh."

He takes a test tube and places some of the fluid from my wounds in it. Then he measures the diameter of the bite.

"It looks like you got into it with an alpha." He says shocked.

An alpha? Ryder? That's news to me. He's such a punk! And he does drugs! How can he be an alpha?

Rhoan writes down his measurements and observations and then bandages my shoulder.

"Its goona take a couple days to heal, and its goona be very painful. Just try not to use it on and don't do anything insane until the poison works out of your body."

He helps me up and into his truck.

"What am I going to say to Johanna? How am I supposed to tell her that werewolves are real?" I ask my friend. Then an even bigger question and problem presents themselves, "How am I supposed to tell everyone that Ryder is the werewolf? He lives with us, for gods sake!"

This was going to be even harder than I thought.

"Ryder is the wolf?" Rhoan exclaims, "I guess its obvious if you look back and examine the signs. Hey, do you think he'd let me examine him?" Rhoan blabbers.

As Rhoan lives in happy land I think about it. Ryder is the wolf. Johanna is Ryder's sister. Does that mean that Johanna is part werewolf too?

I interrupt, "Rhoan. Get some of Johanna's blood and examine that too."

"What? You don't think she-?"

"I don't know." And that's all I'll say.

But Ryder lives with us. We have small children around! Jordan definitely won't like this, she's worried enough about Sophia as it is. But since Ryder only attacked me, maybe he only wants me? Its okay if he's after me, just as long as the rest of my family isn't brought into this.

But if I did tell them then it would be one against an entire family! Ryder against a family of vampires. As much as I like the odds that I would live, its wrong to fight like that. One on one is how Ryder and I will take care of this.

-Gabriel

4 days until the wedding


	77. SECRETS

SECRETS

March 15th, 2013

I had spent most of today avoiding people. Especially Johanna, Faine, and Jordan. Faine and Jordan for the obvious reasons that they read minds but Johanna because of what she might be. That sounds horrible, doesn't it? I'm marrying her in 3 days but I can't be near her for fear that she's part werewolf...

What if she doesn't even know? What if this complicates things? Oh god! Can't it be possible for me to have a normal, happy wedding?

I want to be with her now, just to hold her, but I don't know if I could look at her the same way and not feel like the worst fiancée in the entire world. I shot her brother, the man I haven't seen since last night. How will she ever forgive me for that?

I decided that I should just face her, I'm going to have to eventually.

She was sitting on the couch reading a book, the look on her face was lost and in the middle of another world. I love her so much. She doesn't have to do or say anything for my heart to swell when seeing her again. And each time is like seeing her for the first, time stands still and nothing can distract me from her.

I lay on the couch and like she knows what I want, she lifts her book off her lap so I can lay my head in it. I slowly and carefully (because of my shoulder) lay in her lap and stay there. Johanna doesn't say anything, she keeps reading her book, but her free hand is playing with my hair. This is nice. It feels nice and normal. And that's all I could ask for.

"So how was dinner with my brother last night?"

...She just had to ruin the moment!

"We talked."

"And...?" She encourages.

"I didn't know I killed your boyfriend that night in the forest in Pennsylvania."

She stops in mid page turn, she remains completely quiet. I haven't moved from laying in her lap.

"I'm sorry."

She still doesn't say anything.

"Johanna, I-"

She throws her book on the table, "That jerk! I told him to be nice! And I told him not to bring up those kinds of things!" She has her hands covering her face, anger is ebbing off her body.

"I'm glad he told me. Johanna, I want to know everything about you, nothing is 'not important'. I don't care if you had a boyfriend, that was in the past." I reach my hand up and cup her cheek, "But I do care that you seemed to have put your entire life on hold for me and mine."

She grabs my hand and presses it closer to her, "Ours."

A nice moment, right? But again, as all nice moments are, this one is ruined.

The door is thrown open. It hits the wall with a loud bang and Ryder is there in all his glory! Leaning against the door for support and holding his side to stop the bleeding.

"Leave me alone! I don't need help!" He barks at another guy standing right by his side.

Without any consideration to my head, Johanna leaps up from the couch and over to her brother. My head hits the couch and I let out a low groan from the sudden movement of my shoulder.

"What happened? Why did it happen?" Johanna screams while trying to help her brother to the couch.

I moved and stood against the wall.

Ryder refuses her help and makes his way over to the couch where he collapses.

"I got shot." He says staring directly at me.

"Why? How?" Johanna begs for the answers.

"The usual way. Some idiot buys a gun and bullets. He loads the bullets into the gun, aims and fires."

"Who did this and why?" Johanna is freaked out and I feel guilty that I am the cause.

Ryder's friend comes over and hands him a beer. This friend of his is really tall and also kind of muscular, could he also be a-?

"Do you like my friend, Gabriel?" He asks.

Another werewolf...this cannot be happening!

"I don't think Gabriel cares about your new friend." Johanna says as she grabs medical stuff from the downstairs bathroom.

"Well he should." A threat! Was Ryder seriously threatening me with his sister so close?

"Ryder! Answer my questions!" Johanna begs as she tries to stop the bleeding.

"'Why?' Because he is threatened. 'Who?' A dead man." His eyes are focused on me.

Should I be taking his threats seriously?

"Omigod! I still see the bullet!" Johanna whispers to him.

"Its okay." He grabs the peroxide from her and pours a whole bunch on the hole and a string of whispered obscenities follows.

"Please, let's go to the hospital." Johanna starts with the begging again.

Ryder grabs her hand, squeezes it, and says, "No." In his taunting, older brother voice.

"I don't know how to handle something like this though!" She starts crying.

I tried to move forward to comfort her but I heard the low growl coming from Ryder's chest before Johanna did and I stayed away.

"Just give me a really big bandage. And you, get me another." He directs to Johanna and to his werewolf buddy.

I watch her hands shake as she places a bandage over his wound. And I look at the friend who I see pour something into Ryder's drink, something that didn't look like more alcohol.

But the friend hands it to Ryder who looks and acts better than he should be.

"He will be sleeping soon." The friend states. Its the first time he's spoken since being here and I don't know if I prefer him to or not.

"What do you mean?" Johanna asks.

"I gave him something to help the pain and to help him sleep."

"Really? Thanks!" Ryder chirps. Its sounding obvious now.

My Johanna, well, she isn't taking this well. She sits in a chair across from the couch and puts her face in her hands.

"Even when my brother is injured he still does drugs." She mumbles.

This is the time I could have held her but Ryder mumbles my name," Gabriel?"

"Yes?" I reply.

"Come here." He whispers.

So I go closer.

"No, no. Closer." He whispers again.

I move a little closer.

"Closer!" He screams.

I move a little closer. I really hope he doesn't ask me to get closer, I wouldn't be very comfortable that close to him.

"I...hate you!" He half whispers.

Then he falls asleep.

I stand up slowly. What a great thing to say.

And then he laughs really obnoxiously and falls back to sleep.

The laugh really freaked me out, I jumped.

So the three of us just stood/sat there, not sure what to say.

I was half expecting Ryder's friend to go outside, grab his suitcase and then take over the guest room (or Rhoan's) but I felt so much relief when he said, "I'll be back."

And then he just turned and left. He's quite an odd fellow.

"So we're having dinner with your parents tonight? Just us and them?"

She nods her head in reply.

That's all that happened in the morning and afternoon. Nothing new happened except that Ryder woke up, refused my help to get him to his room. And then I caught him shooting up in his room. And I said, "Can't you confine your illegal activities to just one room?" And then he gave me his finger. Yeah. Epic afternoon, right?

"What's this that I supposedly cooked?" I ask Johanna.

I honestly had no idea what she was making and, I had no idea how to make it. But we're telling Richard and Susan that I did make it.

"Its grilled wild Alaskan salmon." She smiles, "And it tastes delicious!"

I phase into my human self and take a bite, swallow, and phase back.

"And your right." I press a kiss to her lips.

We set the table together and then Susan is walking down the stairs.

"Oh, you two! You shouldn't have done everything! Now I can't help." She muses.

"Just sit down, mom. Where's Daddy?"

Susan takes a seat, "He sends his regards but he can't make it. He saw your brother and is trying to help him."

I notice Johanna's knuckles turn white as she grips the back of the chair.

"Well, he's the one that's missing out. Gabriel made and awesome grilled salmon!"

Johanna sits down and I sit down. I ask Susan how she likes it here and she replies that its beautiful and the people are so nice.

Yeah, so dinner is nice and all that. Susan and I clean up dinner while Johanna sits there patiently. Then we all grab some coffee and just talk.

"Gabriel, we really can't wait for you to be part of the family!" Susan gushes.

"Well, I feel like I already am. Your the closest thing to a mother that I've had in a really long time." I reveal.

"Oh that's right. I forgot about your parents, dear. You poor boy." She says.

Susan really is very nice and I couldn't be asking for a sweeter mother-in-law.

"Speaking of death, Johanna told you about hers right?" Susan inquires.

"Mom!" Johanna hisses.

We both ignore her, "Yeah, she told me about that night in the woods in Pennsylvania."

"Oh, I wasn't talking about that time."

"Please stop!" Johanna says.

"What?" I reply.

Was there more than this? More than all the times I knew of?

"Well, before she was-"

"MOM, SHUT UP!" Johanna screams and then runs out of the house.

There is nothing but silence for a few seconds.

"What happened?" I ask as I lean forward a bit.

"She almost died and she's afraid to admit that to anyone outside the family."

"No, I know about that night she was with her friends and also about the night with you and Richard as well. She told me all about it." I reply matter of factly. "That's not it. My daughter's entire life has been planned around death; hers. We raised her at multiple times being told that she wouldn't live another year. Richard and I, and Darla and Ryder as well, watched her go from our rosy cheeked beauty to a frail, deathly sick little girl. We watched her go to deaths doorstep and then walk away completely unscathed. We would wake up one morning to find our daughter not in her room but outside playing with our neighbor's dogs."

I was in shock. Had Johanna really kept these secrets from me? Was she afraid to tell me or did she just not think it was important?

"How long?" I wasn't sure who to ask and what questions to ask.

"Her entire existence." I must've seemed more than confused so Susan told me, "Go ask her about it."

I really didn't think Johanna wanted to talk about her multiple encounters with death but...I needed to know.

I found her sitting in the middle of Faine's garden. The flowers were in full bloom around her and fireflies lit up the sky.

I sat across from my tear stained beauty.

"Why didn't you tell me?" I ask as I take her hand.

"It wasn't important." Another tear rolls down her cheek.

"Everything about you is important." I reply.

She looks away and lightly strokes the petals of a nearby flower.

"I know what they say about me," she whispers softly, "I know they think I'm crazy. Even everyone here thought it when I first moved in. And you thought it too." There is so much sadness laced in her voice, "I wanted to jump off cliffs, I wanted close my eyes and pick a random place on the map and then travel there. I'm the weird girl. Nobody acts the way I act, I'm spontaneous and open, I don't think before I act, I love like its the only thing worth doing."

...What should I say? I didn't know this part of her life, I didn't think it could be so sad.

"When I found you here the first time you wanted to know why I am the way I am; I'm so alive because I'm so close to death. When almost everyother year is spent believing its the end, you learn to live when you can. Because living is the only thing worth doing. 'What do you die for?' A stupid question. 'To be with loved ones who have passed before me.' A stupid answer. Nobody knows what comes after this, what if our loved ones were reborn and are already with us? Well, my question to myself everyday of my childhood, and even now, is 'What do you live for?'"

She pauses and grabs my hand, "I live for love, I live because I won't leave my family alone, I live to fight death. I live to laugh, I live to dance and sing, I live to take chances, I live to learn. I live because its the only thing worth doing."

She waits patiently for me to respond, I don't know what to say. But it all makes sense now, Johanna always was, and still is, a little different. But why else would one person have so much life in them that death just isn't an option?

"Your mom said you faced death for your entire existence. What does she mean by that?"

"I died before I was born."

I kind of choked a little. It felt like my heart started and then flip flopped and stopped.

"Excuse me?"

"Eight months and three weeks into the pregnancy my mom said she stopped feeling me kicking. She went to the doctor and got a sonogram, and sure enough I didn't have a heartbeat. I was just there. The machine wasn't broken, the equipment wasn't unreliable, I was dead. But my mom had to give birth to me to get my baby body out of her stomach, and when I came out, I was breathing and crying. It was a miracle they said. No one could explain it, but I had died they said."

I tried to pull her towards me, to hold her and comfort her, but she refused to be moved.

"Do you still want to know more?" Her grass green eyes glisten with tears.

I nod my head.

"Well, when I was seven months old I got scarlet fever. I cried and screamed and my fever rose over 105." Barely even a pause, "And when I was three I got cholera."

That reminded me of Alice and her past.

"For my fifth christmas Santa gave me Malaria. Lovely, right? And then when I was six and a half we went to the beach and I got Lyme's disease. But trust me, I didn't have to go far to get sick. For my seventh birthday to my twelvth, I had AIDS. It was four years of Hell! I was sicker than sick! Forget common colds, compared to having AIDS, Scarlett fever looked like a cold!"

"What happened to all your diseases?" I ask.

"They just disappeared. We have absolutely no idea. Do you know what its like wanting to live and die at the same time?" I shake my head, I have never felt those two at the same time, "Well, I wanted to beat those illnesses, to come out on top, shun Death, and live happily ever after with my family. But when I was sick I sort of wanted it all to just end. I couldn't be myself while I was sick and I was continuously causing heartache for my family. Do you want to know what else I had?"

"There's more?" I couldn't believe it! My love truly had been through Hell! I honestly didn't want to think about how much pain she had been in and to see her any other way than she is now; healthy and living with beauty of both her mind and body.

"Oh yes, so much more. When I didn't have deadly sicknesses, I could often be found having long lasting colds. They weren't deadly but I was still sick. I don't how you will take this next one but you wanted to know: when I was 16 I had a boyfriend...and he would hit me."

Time stopped. It took me a minute to process what she was saying. A boy...had hit her? This didn't seem possible to me! Johanna is so perfect and nice, why would anyone want to hurt her? But then it hit me that maybe it wasn't anything she had done but instead was the boyfriends fault.

Time sped up. I was kissing her hands and her cheeks, her forehead and her nose.

"Why? Who? Where? Who?" I ask angrily. I would find this boy. And people would then be reading his obituary in the newspaper the next day.

Johanna laughs. She laughs!

"This is no laughing matter!" I yell.

"You said 'who' twice." She giggles again.

I grab her hands, "Johanna, I'm very serious. Tell me who dared to hit you. I will find him and I will kill him."

She pulls her hands away, "Gabriel, I love you. And I think its really sweet what you would do to protect me, but you can't kill everyone who hurts me. Death, I have learned, isn't an answer. It isn't an answer for me, for you, and it wasn't an answer for Jane."

I shuddered. Why on Earth would Jane be brought into this?

"It seems that Death just doesn't like us. Jane thought that killing me would solve her problems; but it didn't. I didn't die, I woke up. You thought that killing me the first time we met would solve yours; I lived. And even before you knew that, your life seemed to be ruined. You weren't the same vampire you were before we met."

"It was a good change." I reply. She was saying the truth. The whole, entire truth. Death didn't seem like a good answer, it was a quick one. But not a good one.

"I still wish that the boy who hurt you will die." I say.

"Oh, he is. Would you believe that his father hit him and ended up breaking his nose which, in turn, killed him?"

I shook my head. At least the boy got what he deserved.

"You pretty much know the rest of my life." Johanna whispers sadly.

I decided to not say anything. We sat there for a while with the moon rising over our heads and the fireflies lighting up the night around us.

"The other night when you called me a hypocrite you said that you wanted to know who you're marrying." She nodded, "The best answer I can give you is: Me. I'm just me. I don't always know who that is but I do know that I want you to be there every night, with me, holding me to humanity."

"That's all I want, all I will ask for," she kisses my jaw, "I couldn't ask for anything more than you being you. And as for who you are marrying; Me. I didn't tell you about Ryder and Darla because I thought if I brought them into my life with you then this life would vanish and I would just be at home with friends and finishing high school."

"So no more secrets then?" I ask.

"No more." She agrees.

We stand up and walk back towards the house. Before I open the door, I stop her.

"Do you remember when I said I didn't remember my birthdate?" She nods, "December 21st. I figured it out when we were staying in Russia."

Johanna doesn't say anything, she didn't need to. But she leans forward and kisses me.

"Well, next December we're celebrating!" Johanna demands and then opens the door. We pick up where we left off, having coffee with Susan. We only had one disturbance and that was when Rhoan snuck in to get himself some coffee.

"Why don't you just come sit with us?" I ask him. At this point I was in such a good mood so I didn't really care and I was no longer on edge.

"My don't you look lovely tonight, Susan!" Rhoan exclaims. What a kiss ass! But I know he's doing it for my sake.

After we finished chatting and drinking our coffee, Johanna and Susan went to go wash the cups, Rhoan went to bed, and I went up stairs to my room.

I grabbed a couple books from the desk in the corner, books about demons. I was going to return them to the library since I have time.

I turned to leave but the light caught on something shiny on my nightstand. I got closer to figure out what it was and I wish I had ignored it in the first place. On my nightstand was a silver bullet covered in blood. The same silver bullet that I shot Ryder with.

And smudged on the table were the words 'I'm back' written in Ryder's blood.

Ryder is out there right now with who knows how many other werewolf friends. He's out there, and he's waiting for me.

The pain in my shoulder flared.

"God dammit!" I curse.

Casually, I walk to the bathroom, grab a washcloth and wet it. I just have to get this blood off the nightstand before Johanna sees it!

Soon the fibers in the cloth were stained red. It was blood I was looking at, I only wish that it would freak me out as much as it did to Johanna. I set it on fire and drop it in the sink to burn. No poisoned werewolf blood for my family!

And then I look at the nightstand again, the blood is still noticable.

"Crap!"

-Gabriel

3 days until the wedding!


	78. BACHELORETTE PARTY Johanna's POV

BACHELORETTE PARTY... (Johanna's POV)

March 15th, 2013

Dear Diary,

I am SO excited for tonight! 'What is tonight?' You might ask. Well, not only is it Gabriel's Bachelor party but its also my Bachelorette party! My friends from Pennsylvania are flying in today and I cannot wait to see them! I miss our girl days: sleep overs, mani-pedis, teasing boys at the movie theaters, cosmic bowling and long days at the beach my friends are the perfect remedy for any sickness or sad emotions. We were all on each others speed dial, and we parted crowds in the school's hallways as we passed.

Now, I have tons of best friends, but the three I could always turn to were:

Taylor James

Mackenzie (Kenzie) Forthright

And

Charlotte (Charlie) Taylor

Taylor was the brains in our group but she flourished in beauty as well. Who would have known that underneath her freshly straightened, raven black hair was the brain of a physics major? We would.

And Kenzie could give you directions to the nearest mall no matter where you were! She could recite them forwards, backwards and sideways! Lol she was rich and beautiful, she loved playing tennis and her fav way to catch a guy was by twirling her string of pearls around her finger as she lounged on her towel at the beach. Who would think that the rich princess wasn't the bitchiest bitch of all and had loyalties only to herself? We wouldn't. And the best part about her being a princess was that she would always answer her phone and her facebook messages, she could always be reached.

And last, but certainly not least, is Charlie. And she calls herself a tom boy! Lol She's a fake tom boy, as in, she loves the mall. She could spend early mornings shopping away to her hearts desire and then by one be kicking all the guy's asses at the paintball stadium. Who would've thought that our tough-as-nails-Joan-Jett-mud-slinger could clean up into a pink powder puff shopping goddess in thirty minutes? Oh yeah, we did.

They are my go-to girls, my sisters from other misters , my queens of the mall! And tonight will be perfect because of them. Don't get me wrong, I love their husbands and boyfriends also!

Taylor married a chemistry major named Liam, believe it or not he went to our school and was totally under our radar. He wasn't very hot at all, but he blossomed and they re-met at college. He's a chemistry professor, she's getting her degree in teaching physics.

Kenzie married James St. James III. They met at the University of Rhode Island. As rich as he is, and as stuck up as his family is, he is a lot of fun. They both met at a frat party and were connected. They knew it was meant to be when coincidentally they ended up versing each other in a tennis match at the country club. They are still planning the perfect, expensive, wedding.

Charlie is dating a male model named Matt. What a hotty! While he's at photo shoots, she teaches professional kick boxing classes at the gym.

So I think my entire graduating class and their dates are arriving today. The poor plane service! And poor Gabriel! He won't know any of the guys but he's going to be having his bachelor party with them. Oh well, he's friendly enough, he'll make friends.

"What are you girls doing for your party?" Rhoan asks as he plops down on the couch across from me, "Painting each others nails and crying at sappy chick flicks?" He asks sarcastically.

I choose to ignore him, "Is everything set for your party tonight?"

"Hell yeah! We got the bar and the female strippers."

"I'll kill you." I threaten him.

"Joking!" He then mutters, "I wouldn't mind but-"

"Rhoan Boulevardi!" I say shocked.

"Come on. Just because Gabriel is getting married doesn't mean I have to give up my freedom too!"

I was a little shocked at his sudden demand, or request, for female companionship.

"I hope you have some single friends." He crosses his arms and mutters.

"Awwww! Your lonely." I grab his hand then, casually, I decide to work my magic, "How about, Darla?" I could feel the lack of casual in my voice. My attempts were in vain.

"Darla?"

"Yeah." I hold my hand above our heads, "Ya know, about yea tall, short brown hair, blue eyes. Kinda, well very, shy, really average-"

"She's not that average!" He bellows.

And that's when I gave him my 'yeah-just-listen-to-me' look.

He looks away, embarrassed, and leaves. Cue the doorbell! Before I even open the door, its pushed inward and there stand The Three with a swarm of girls behind them.

"Jo!" The Three shriek.

I scream with them and we run to each other, screaming and giggling and hugging. It was Kenzie, Charlie and Taylor! My BFFs!

"Show us the rock!" They command.

I hold out my left hand and wait for their shrieks of approval.

And I got them!

"Its gorgeous!" Taylor and Charlie gush.

"Is he loaded?" Kenzie inquires. She always was so straightforward.

I laugh.

"So is that a 'no'?" Taylor asks.

"Well," I hold my thumb and pointer finger about an inch apart, "Maybe just a little."

All the girls smile, laugh, and approve, including the others that have now flooded the house.

Kenzie clears her throat, it was obvious now that she is the leader of the pack, "Settle down, settle down! Okay. The big question is: Are you ready to party your ass off with the biggest Bachelorette party EV-ER, Johanna?"

"Hell yeah! Let's do this!"

The girls all came in with their purses and we put PJs on. Maddie put a DVD into the player and we all sat down to watch Casablanca. I was filing my nails when I heard Charlie whisper to Marcy and ask her if all the guys were taken care of.

"You sound like we're killing them or something," I reply, "Besides, Rhoan says that everything is all taken care of. Ya'll dropped the boys at the hotel, right?"

All the girls nodded.

Gabriel walked into the room.

"Hey, girls. Hello, Johanna." He bends down and kisses me.

Most of the girls 'awwww' at our kiss but leave it to big mouthed Kenzie to say, "Shoo, shoo! No guys at the Bachelorette party!"

Gabriel laughs, "We were just on our way out. Besides as much as I wanna stay here I have some of the guys outside waiting. And I'm afraid that I'm not familiar with-" he gestures at the tv screen.

"Casablanca." Taylor fills in.

Gabriel ducks his head and leaves the room.

We thought we were safe.

"You weren't shitting me about the sappy love movies!" Rhoan interrupts.

"Leave!" I throw my nail file at him.

He holds up his hands in surrender, "Alright, alright! Jeez!"

Before he's out the door he leans back in, "Are any of you single?" He calls out to the room. "Any of you?" No one replies.

"You?" He points at Anne, "You?" He points to Jen, "None of you? Oh fuck it, its just my luck." And defeated at the lack of singularity in the room he leaves.

My girls and I laugh at Rhoan.

"He was kinda cute." Lauren purrs.

"Desperate. But cute." Haley agrees.

We wait for about 10 minutes to make sure the guys are completely gone and out of our hair.

"Are ya'll ready to commence the operation?" I chirp.

In reply the girls tear off their hoodies to expose their previous party shirts and then change into jeans.

Oh the poor guys, and poor you, Diary! I didn't even tell you! For my Bachelorette party we're dressing up and crashing the Bachelor party. 'Dressing up, more like un-dressing' Kenzie says.

Yeah, we're all going lingerie shopping and we're going to show up at the bar scantily dressed and wearing Venitcian eye masks to surprise the fellas. The girls thought I should dress up in white and wear a veil since I'm the bride but I disagreed. I wanted to see if Gabriel could pick me out of the crowd, I wanted to make it more fun.

At this point all my girls were dressed and ready for action.

We heard a honking sound come from outside so we figured it must be the limos and indeed it was! Their were quite a few of them too, since I had to have girls to pair up with all the guys. All the girls who had husbands or boyfriends were paired up with each other, and yes I do have a few single friends for Rhoan and Ryder.

We all piled into the limos, and waiting in there for us was Darla, Lottie, Faine, Valentina and Jordan. Personally, I couldn't see Darla or Jordan doing this with us, but I'm not letting them back out. As soon as I got in, Kenzie, Taylor and Charlie placed a small crown and veil on top of my head and also a white sash across my body that said, in fancy script, 'Here Comes The Bride...' It was really sweet. And on our way to the mall we each had a glass of champagne.

What a sight we must've been! A whole bunch of limos pulling up to the mall and all of us girls stepping out. Lol

Credit cards in hand, we attacked the mall. My favorite stop was Victoria's Secret! I absolutely love their stuff! Since Gabriel and I didn't plan on getting a house for a while, all the girls were buying me lingerie and fuzzy handcuffs all that kind of stuff. I didn't really want the fuzzy handcuffs, I don't role that way, plus Gabriel would break them in a second so there really was no point. But Maddie insisted, and it really would be funny to see the look on Gabriel's face when he saw them

So we all had to pick out our outfits. I think the majority of us got lacey push up bras and lacey cheeksters and we each got different colors. My chosen color was black since I have such a great tan.

"Johanna, I am NOT wearing this." Darla says dangling a turquoise bra and panties in my face.

"But you have to! Your the maid of honor!"

"No. No way. I really don't want to un dress this much for a group of guys."

I sighed angrily, "Fine."

I handed my garments to Kenzie so she could pay for them and my make up and then I dragged Darla by the hand to other stores close by. I purchased a plaid skirt (the kind that you see catholic school girls wear in the movies), and a button down white shirt with a collar, a red tie, a small string of pearls, leather bracelets, black horn rimmed glasses, fishnet stockings, and black peep toe stilettos.

I shoved the bags into her arms, "You are going to wear this. I will dress you up but you are wearing it my way."

She nodded in agreement.

We went back to my friends and continued shopping, next stop was shoes. Again, I think the majority of us got strappy black heels.

The hours were dwindling away, we were getting closer and closer to the party.

"Alright, hair, nails, and make up!" Kenzie cheers.

We had to take over the entire salon because of all the girls I have. We all got french tips for our nails and we all did jungle red on our toes. For hair I let everyone do what they wanted. Darla's hair got blown out, crimped, and then I teased her roots to give her hair sexy volume. As for my own, I got a beach wave, sexy and tousled

Make up. We all did eye colors to contrast our bras and then red blush, and bright lipstick. One of my friends even did green! One of them did orange! One did vibrant pink! Yeah, I told you I have some interesting friends. As for me, I chose candy apple red. I gave Darla pink and brown eye shadow, red blush, lip plumper (she wouldn't stop complaining that it burned! I just told her to deal with it), and then strawberry lip gloss. She looked pretty good! I was proud of my skill.

Soon we were all done. We looked sexy and hot, and ready for a party!

I had hot pink trench coats delivered to the salon as well as our masks. So we all changed into our bras and then were walking around in our pink trench coats. If you've ever seen the movie V FOR VENDETTA then you will remember the scene towards the end when there are the millions of V's wearing masks and black capes...that's what we looked like except we were only wearing venitcian eye masks and the coats were hot pink instead of black.

Darla approached me with all her bags and asked how I wanted it all done.

I gave her a sickly sweet smile and grabbed a pair of scissors off the table, "Come back here. I'll help you."

So we locked ourselves in the bathroom. She took out the white button down shirt and was about to put it on but I snatched it from her and cut off the sleeves.

Then I took out the plaid skirt and started cutting it.

"Johanna, that's goona be way too short!"

"Shhh!" I snapped.

"Did you really just 'shhh' me?"

I replied by tearing off the last of the plaid fabric and throwing the now mini skirt in her face.

She stepped into the skirt and got angry again.

"This is WAY too short! And the ends aren't even!"

"Their supposed to be fringed." I reply. I then un-button the last few buttons from her shirt and tie the boring white garment so it looks like a crop top.

I pluck the fish nets stockings from the bag and rip them in certain places, I tie the red tie around my sisters neck and then I loosen it slightly. She places the pearls around her neck, and the leather around her wrist. Lastly, she wiggles her toes into the black high heels and I slide the black glasses over the bridge of her nose.

"There," I say as we stare at her in the mirror, "Your ready."

"I look like a stripper or good catholic gone bad." She says solemnly.

I shrug her arms into the pink trench coat and tie the mask over her eyes, "You look wonderful."

I tie my own mask and stare at my reflection in the mirror. I got lost in the color of my eyes, all the make up and the mask made them seem...deeper. This would be the point where I say 'I could feel a sense of impending doom' but I didn't. At least...I didn't feel doom, I felt something but I just wasn't sure what. Was I finally getting nervous? I don't think so. Was something going to happen? Not that I know of. Maybe I'm just worrying. Worrying that I've finally gotten Gabriel and that he'll be snatched from me. No amount of time will be enough time. Which makes me think of him asking me when I'd like to become a vampire. Uh, never! I have nothing against them, but I wouldn't choose to be one. To live forever...it makes every tiny detail of life insignificant. How could you appreciate something properly when you wouldn't know if you'll live for 10 days, 10 years, 100 years, or 1,000!

The crunch of a frozen snow beneath your feet. The splash of a wave breaking at your feet. The rosy cheeks of a young child. The laugh of a baby. The smell of Gabriel's shirts and his smile that I know is just meant for me. 1,000 years makes all of that seem so insignificant, even when I already know each and every one of those things is precious.

I was so lost in this battle of ever lasting life waging in my mind that I hadn't even noticed Kenzie leaning around me and smudging lipstick on my lips.

I snapped out of it and skipped out the the limos.

We were all getting so excited! We were practically vibrating and it was hard to hold still in the seat

The limo coasted to a stop and we all took a deep breath before we got out.

My black stilettos clicked and clacked on the pavement as we approached the back door.

Masks in place, pink trench coats tied shut, we opened the back door and marched ourselves inside. First thing I noticed: Ryder was bordering drunk and wasted. This didn't surprise me to much given who he is. But what did was him, Rhoan, and Gabriel doing shots at the bar!

...Gabriel? And Rhoan? Rhoan just- I could never picture him drinking anything other than wine! And Gabriel-dont get me started! I mean, obviously I know that he did because Natalia showed me, but its just hard to picture him doing that now. He seems so proper and cold, but there he is; at the bar knocking back shots with my friends' boyfriends.

We pour into the bar, girls on one side and guys on the other, and take up poses.

Some of the guys 'oohh' and 'ahh' while others whistle.

...My brother is the loudest whistler...

I notice Gabriel's cheeks are a bit red as his friends push him forward, and this tells me that he's human! Why would he be human? Sure he could be if he wanted, but why be something that isn't natural to you? Why should he put on a disguise for the world? This made me angry, and my eyes narrowed at him from behind the voidless, pre-cut, eyes given to me by this mask.

Gabriel is standing in front now, arms crossed smugly over his chest (almost as if he prefers this secrecy and what will come next, instead of me), with his friends flanking his sides.

Down the line, Kenzie nods (obviously pretending she's me). We all, slowly, untie our pink trench coats, un-button the three buttons, and drop our coats to the floor.

Right away, Ryder howls at us, Rhoan searches our masked faces for his dream girl, and Gabriel gives a wide (too wide for my tastes) grin.

"Are all of you for me?" He asks sarcastically.

Down the line, one of my friends calls out in reply, "We might be."

"Ooohhhh!" His friends cheer.

Gabriel surveys us, right to left, never giving more attention to one face than the one next to her.

My chest was rising and falling rapidly, what if he couldn't pick me out? What if he found someone he thought prettier than me? What if this turns out to be the worst idea I ever had? He took his time, looking at hair color and such, and appeared to be very skilled in what he was doing.

Now he started pacing along the line. He placed his hand over the heart of each girl, and when he placed his hand over mine, my skin felt cold where his hand was no longer resting.

He traced our line again, but this time he stopped at the girl right next to me. "You-" he said strongly.

She had long blonde hair as well. He picked up her hand, tilted her head back and leaned in to kiss her.

This was the moment I had truly been dreading. I was now fearing that I had made the hugest mistake of my life! And I was sure now that we definitely should have dated longer.

I was about to say something, or probably just leave, when he spoke.

Their lips were only centimeters apart, but he opened his beautiful green eyes and said loud enough for his friends to hear, "Are not my Johanna."

And before I could produce a happy coherent thought, he stepped in front of me and forced open my lips with his tongue.

Me being shocked, all I could do was obey his delicious commands.

His right hand cupped my neck and his left one pressed me closer to him. His lips were like thunder, strong and loud, against mine. And his tongue, like lightning, sent electricity through my entire body. Behind my closed eyes, I was in the midst of an electrical storm with Gabriel holding me. Lightning was touching down to the Earth all around us but we remained un-touched. I was safe, and I was in heaven.

He pulled away from this delicious moment of intoxication, took my hand and placed it over his heart.

"Do you feel it?" He asks while placing his hand over mine.

We're locked there together, hands over each others hearts. Both beating the same rhythm, at the same time. And I realize now that we're bound by something much stronger than fate or even by Love, its an unexplainable force. A force that I wouldn't trade for anything, a force that I wouldn't share with anyone else.

"My heart beats for you, and only you." He whispers to me, his Russian accent thick again, "My brother used to tell me that if I found a woman who made my heart beat in time with hers then I had surely died and gone to heaven."

He leans in close and whispers in my ear, his breath is warm and moist and I feel like my knees might collapse at any second, "But I see I have not died, rather I am living for the first time, more aware, more happy than I ever was. And that heaven has come to me."

Beneath my mask, I cry a single tear. Just one. It was something made of happiness, not sadness, and it was the kind that he could only make me cry.

Gabriel raises his voice for all to hear, "There Is only one that I want. And that is My Johanna." He reaches behind my head and unties the black ribbon, exposing my eyes to the room.

My friends 'aaaww'. I throw my arms around Gabriel's neck and hold on to him. I look like a love sick teenager, for sure! But I don't care, I'm in love. And in 2 days I get to marry my best friend, the other half of my heart.

Behind me, my friends walk over to their guys until its just Darla and my other friend, Lily.

I introduce Ryder to Lily and then leave Gabriel for a minute to show my 'sexy librarian' sister to our "librarian" friend, Rhoan.

"I hope you two enjoy each other," I say pushing them close and then retreating over to my Gabriel.

"The night is ours." I smile at him.

"The rest of our lives is ours." He replies with a wondrous smile.

I smile and dance, dip and spin, head bang and thrash, for the rest of the night. And enjoyed every second of it.

Love,

Johanna


	79. HERE COMES MY BRIDE

HERE COMES MY BRIDE...

March 17th, 2011

Today has been the day of my dreams for- oh, well, I guess its been, oh

yeah...FOREVER! Since my father told me of my engagement to Natalia I've either

dreamed of my freedom or of a woman who I desire in every way possible. Johanna

is that woman.

All I have to do is hear her name and my undead heart starts beating and my dead

arteries start pumping dead blood through my system in anticipation of the

freedom she brings. Being with her, I've learned that humans aren't as delicate

as they might seem. My Johanna has the will of God, the heart of a saint, the

warmth of a hot summer sun, the mind of a scholar, the life of a flourishing

undiscovered rainforest. She's funny and smart, beautiful and kind, loving and

warm, strong and determined, she's gracious when she's right and accepting when

she's wrong. I'm not just marrying a girl today; I'm marrying a woman, my best

friend, my teacher, my sun my moon and my stars, the other half of my heart. I'm

being bonded in every way possible to the woman I want to spend forever with.

She's the right amount of crazy to my "boring", she's the life to my death,

she's the love in my heart.

So, why then, did I feel like something was wrong? Sure I'm about to go against

everything I once stood for. Once. But I've changed for the better and this is

what I've waited for since I first laid eyes upon her. Perhaps I'm worried that

her humanity will catch up to her too quickly and then, in turn, take her away

from me? Seems plausible. Perhaps I'm afraid that she'll let humanity take her

away? Yes. Visions of my aged Johanna start filling my mind:

She'll let herself grow old without me, she'll let the gray fill the color of

her hair. Time will wrinkle her beautiful skin. Seeing the world will catch up

with her, making her eyes grow weak and depend upon glasses. Hearing music and

dancing deep into the nights will take its toll; her ears are straining to her

the new music we've discovered, her body is weak. My wonderful friend's eyes no

longer jump in anticipation of seeing me, instead, her eyes flare with

resentment at seeing my perfectly sculpted body.

And then, she'll let the cold seep into her bones, the light leave her eyes, the

touch of Gods creations escape her grasp, Death will knock on our door. I won't

be able to prevent him from entering. He'll throw in the door and slowly curl

one icy finger after another around the door frame. Eventually pulling his

hooded face into the room, all that is distinguishable is his glowing hell-fire

red eyes. Rather than walk or creep into the room, he seems to glide. This

enrages me that such a monstrous creature that wishes to take my love from me

can appear so tranquil. I run from her side to attack the foul beast but my

vampire powers are of no use. I have died, I am dead. But I am not Death itself.

I'm just the messenger. Effortlessly, his long, bony, talon like fingers reach

inside my chest and wrap around my heart. The ice from his hand freezes my heart

and has me shivering in pain on the floor. My body is paler than normal, my

eyelashes are draped in snowflakes and my lips are blue. I'm shivering and can't

escape the cold because its inside me, I'm doomed to watch as Death continues

gliding to Johanna's bed. He sits on the edge of the bed, just like an old

friend, and smoothes her gray hair.

Johanna's old mind makes her mumble something un-intelligible and Death stops

her from speaking any more. He places his icy, taloned hand over her mouth and

nose. Just like that, my beautiful beloved is gone from this world. Her life is

snuffed out like the flame of a candle.

My frozen eyes produce two blood red tears that slowly travel down my cheeks.

Death takes his ring and pointer fingers and drags them over her eyes, down her

face to close them, and places two pennys (heads up) over the dead green fields

that I never get to lose myself in again.

When that is done, He stands, his tattered black robe flowing around his body.

Casually, and as properly as a gentleman would, he holds out his hand to her, as

if offering to lead her into a dance.

I wonder why? She is dead!

But I am answered when a whispy, white hand rises from her dead one. That hand

turns into an arm and then a shoulder, a chest and a head. Her whole body is

ghostly as she moves her legs over the side of the bed. Her ghost hand flutters

light as a feather into His gnarled, bony clutches. When she stands, she too,

appears to be gliding rather than walking.

"Johanna?" My voice is little more than a whisper.

Its like she can't hear me. My eyes follow her path alongside Death to the door.

"Johanna!" My scream is hoarse. And raspy.

Her ghostly foot steps in front of my hand. I'm able to twitch my finger to try

and stop her but her ghost foot just warps around my hand and then re-assembles

when its out of her way. My finger tries to cling to the last whisps that were

her foot.

"Johanna!" I cry out hoarsly again.

No reply. My blood tears keep coming, slower than I need them to be. And I can

only watch her walk out of the door, arm-in-arm, with Death as if they were old

friends.

Death stops in front of the door, steps aside, and makes a sweeping motion with

his hands. Without even hesitating, Johanna walks through the door and

dissapears in the brightly lit sun.

"Nooo-ooo!" My dry voice crackles.

Death follows behind and soon they are shrouded by his rotted black cape, and

then...gone.

"Gabriel? Hello? You-hoo! Anybody their?"

I become vaugly aware of a male voice. And then I realize a hand is being waved

in front of my eyes.

"Gabriel! Snap too! We need you!"

There's that weird voice again!

Its like I'm coming out of a blindness, everything is white, then colorful, and

blurry, then fuzzy, then clear.

Rhoan is leaning in front of me tying something around my neck.

I freak out and dart away from him because I suddenly had the weird feeling that

he was trying to strangle me.

"What the Hell is wrong with you?" Rhoan asks with his hands still frozen where

they were.

I freeze with my leg half way out the open window, I didn't even realize I was

trying to make a break for it.

"You know, you were really scaring me." Rhoan slowly crosses the room to where

I'm crouched, "You had your eyes open the entire time and it was freaky! Please

don't ever do it again." He informs me as he finished tying the bow tie around

my neck.

I'm still crouched half out of the window, not completely sure what's going on.

There is a knock on the door and before anything happens, before I move or Rhoan

replies, Ryder pushes open the door walks in and closes it behind him.

He has a cigarrete poised between his first and second finger and a glass of

scotch held by his thumb and third finger.

"There he is." Ryder taunts, "The special one."

"Yeah! He's all-" Rhoan begins cheerfully.

"Out. I want a word with my almost-brother-in-law." Ryder growls.

Rhoan gives a look but starts towards the door.

I'm still sitting their stupidly with my foot out the window.

"So are you goona suck my sister dry tonight or what?" He asks abruptly, "Ya

know what really gets me? The fact that she's goona be having sex with a dead

guy tonight."

Rhoan hadn't gotten to the door yet, he freezes in his tracks, "Hey, how? Did

you know-?" The confused look on his face made Ryder laugh.

"How about some food to sedate you enough to not kill my sister at the alter?"

Ryder asks mischeviously.

"I still don't understand how-" Rhoan's sentence is cut short when Ryder throws

the contents of the glass into his mouth, slices Rhoan's throat with his claw

and has blood pouring from my friend's throat and into the glass.

"Want some?" His lips slide over his gleaming teeth.

I'm still frozen to the spot. You would think I'd do something to have saved my

best friend, but I just couldn't move.

"No? Well I'll have some." Ryder bends to Rhoan's neck and his face dissapears.

A minute later his face rises with blood smeared around his lips and his canines

pointed and full of delicious ,delectable blood.

He looks into the glass of blood and slowly raises his eyes until they are level

with mine.

"Its still warm," He muses.

And with a snap of his arm, the beautiful red nutrition is flying at me, hitting

me in the face and soaking into my dark hair.

I pull my leg back inside the room, shut the window and run my hands through my

hair to smooth it.

"I'm sorry. I'm just a bit frazzled." I reply semi-calm.

"Hey, are you okay?" He asks referring to my blood lust.

I consider this. I'm hallucinating. So no.

There is a knock on the door and before we can move, Ryder is strolling in with

a smirk on his face, a cigarrette between his first and second finger and a

glass of whiskey in his thumb and third finger.

"Yo, your presence is requested downstairs." He says, "There's some guy in black

down there." He sips his drink.

"Oh! Its the priest!" Rhoan clarrifys.

I shrug and we head downstairs into the living room.

The guys are all gathered there in their tuxs and ready for a wedding. Rhoan

hands me a white flower to put in my chest pocket and a red one in his to

signify he's the best man.

Ryder goes over to the bar and pours himself another whiskey and asks Rhoan if

he would like some. Surprisingly, Rhoan agrees. I'm also surprised how

comfortable Ryder is in a room of vampires.

The priest asks if I'm ready to get married.

"More ready than I ever thought I could be."

He looks at me confused.

"That's a yes," Ryder calls from the kitchen as he and Rhoan finish their

drinks.

"Very good, and now we'll be on our way." The nice man replies.

I shrug my shoulders and out the door we all go. I start walking towards the

cars.

"Young man, where do you think your going?" The priest calls out.

"Don't we have to go to the-?" The priest starts shaking his head, "No?" I ask.

He waves me over and I follow behind him, into the forest.

The forest. Hmmmmm. Not exactly what I pictured, but, Johanna hadn't told me

anything about the wedding and I hadn't asked so I really don't know what's

going to happen.

Deeper and deeper we go.

The sun shines through the tree tops and follows us all the way to the

river...the river I found Johanna in.

There is a clearing, with small white chairs set up and split down the middle by

a long red carpet which leads to a beautiful alter. As Rhoan and I walk down the

aisle I notice the two weeping willows set as our back ground, they are

absolutely beautiful, and absolutely perfect. At the end of the red carpet is an

arch made up of 2 trees that become intertwined in each other. Along these trees

are vines and more small white flowers. I'm in complete shock and amazement as I

stand up there next to the priest and Rhoan. The chairs are filled by the time I

blink and in the back there are three violinists.

Things are set in motion: Darla walks down the aisle in a lovely green dress and

holding some flowers that I'm not familiar with. Then my cute nieces walk next

to each other, down the aisle, dropping large white petals and wearing floor

leangth apricot colored dresses, very antique looking and definitely chosen by

Johanna.

Vera stands next to Darla, Sophia stand next to Rhoan.

And the moment I've been living forever for finally arrives:

One violin starts stringing out the notes to the wedding march, and then the

second one eases into the song and finally the third creates a symphony. Its

slow and soft and beautiful.

Before the crowd rises to see the bride, snow starts falling. That's right; I

said snow. Its soft and white and beautiful as it falls all around us. It comes

down faster and faster, not a blizzard but not scarce. I follow the walls of

people and the red carpet to see the hem of her dress. And my heart warmed, she

had chosen a large white wedding gown just as I had wanted for her. The dress

itself is a creme color with vintage lace in the front and fabric roses along

the waist line. Traveling farther up her body, the straps for the dress are also

made of roses, but Johanna has the straps draped off her shoulders. Her

beautiful, tanned neck is framed by a diamon necklace. At her bust she holds a

bouquet of white lillies. Her hair is curled and held in place by a wild half

bun that has some of her hair coming over her shoulder. She smiles shyly under

my stare of wonder, approval, and excitement. My Johanna wore no veil, she

didn't need it. The snow swirls around her, her dress drags over the red carpet,

brown dirt, green grass, and white layer of snow as she dances her way to me.

The violins stop, the people sit. All is silent. Our song becomes filled by the

sound of the river running, the snow swirling around our bodies, birds chirping

in the trees.

She looks up deep into my eyes, and I look into hers.

In one, magical, sacred moment, I hold my hand out to her and she takes it,

being led closer to the priest.

"We are gathered here today to celebrate the bonding of this man and this woman in holy matramony-" the old priest speaks loud and clear.

Johanna gives me a reassuring squeeze, but I can hear her feet shifting anxiously beneath her dress.

"May I have the rings?" He asks.

Rhoan hands me my wedding band for Johanna, Johanna passes her bouquet to Darla and is then given the wedding band she chose for me.

We give them to him, he blesses them and then hands me my ring for Johanna.

I take her left hand and repeat, while sliding it onto her third finger, "With this ring I take thee, Johanna, to be my lawfully wedded wife."

Johanna takes my left hand saying, "With this ring, I take thee, Gabriel, to be my lawfully wedded husband."

"Then I now pronounce you husband and wife." The priest turns to me, "Gabriel,

you may kiss your lovely bride."

Happily, I place my hands on Johanna's shoulder and pull her to me. Her lips

first taste sweet, and then the taste changes, her lips no longer mold to mine.

I start wondering what happened, I rub her shoulder but its covered in fabric.

I pull back and then flinch in shock. My gorgeous Johanna isn't in front of my

eyes. Instead, small, thin lips curled in a smile, tiny, delicate hands gripped

the bouquet. And plain brown eyes were peering at me, you know what they say

about eyes being windows to the soul? Well, her eyes were brewing with trouble.

My love's amazing wedding dress was gone, instead was an old white dress with

long sleeves and a veil thrown over her head and her hair pulled into a tight,

proper bun.

I flinch back, "Natalia!"

"Hello...Husband." She smiles wickedly.

I look to the priest but the kind old man is no longer there, in his place is

the Devil dancing around. He's sporting a pointy red tail, a sharp red

pitchfork, and small horns. Fire dances through his eyes and sears the edges of

his cape.

I look to Rhoan for help. My friend is wearing a smirk that I've never seen

before. And in front of my eyes, he starts clawing away at his face and arms.

Blood doesn't pour from his wounds, instead he starts reaching another layer of

skin. He peels away the old one and steps out of it like one steps out of a

diving suit. In the place of my friend is my older brother, Filip.

"Congratulations," He jests.

I look to Darla but she is doing the same thing, clawing away at skin and then

stepping out of the old layer. She has her head bent, her hair covers her face.

Its no longer brown, but a shimmery blond instead. I thought it might be Johanna

so I rush to her aid.

"My love!" I say taking her hand.

She throws up her head, hair flying to rest on the back of her neck.

"Yes?" That voice is not the one of my beloved. Tiny, delicate features, height

much smaller than Johanna's. Sharp teeth, and... Red eyes. Eyes that scream

fire, Hell, death, and...

"Pain." She says slowly with a hint of happiness.

I fall to the ground, withering in agony. Fire starts eating at my insides.

When it stops, all I can say is, "Jane."

She smiles a wickedly happy smile.

I look out to the crowd, hoping my family can help me, but their all gone. All

the chairs are empty except for a few on the front left side. Three to be exact.

Three kings.

Aro. Marcus. And Caius.

Aro looks rather amused, like always. Marcus looks surprisingly un-bored. And

Caius is intrigued.

Aro gives a slight wave.

A few rows behind them is Ryder lighting another cigarrette and a few of his

werewolf friends are licking their lips in anticipation of a good kill.

I'm freaking out! Behind me, I hear the devil choking on something. I turn and

see blood dripping from the corner of his lips. Steam rises from his eye balls

as he falls face first to the floor. In his back is a razor edged silver knife.

I look up and see a billowy, black cloth cape coming my way. The front of the

cape is open and she's naked underneath. She has long nails, slender hips, stong

arms, a beautiful creamy body. Her lips are set in a playful pout and lilac eyes

are framed by long, dark eyelashes. Her long blonde hair is straight, with

sparkles and pulled half way up in the back.

She saunters my way, never taking her eyes away from mine.

My brother laughs, she throws fire from her hand and incenerates him where he

stands. She does the same to the Kings, who don't even bat and eye. And to Ryder

and his gang and also Jane. It is just me, Natalia, and Her.

She opens her lips a little, still keeping them in a pout, and for the first

time, I notice the curve of her breasts. Immediately I feel shame! Today is my

wedding to Johanna, but that feeling evaporates. The curve of her breasts, the

tightness of her abdominal, their familiarity makes my dead heart stutter.

The cape drags behind her on the floor as she approaches Natalia. She stops a

little more than two arms lengths away, eyes on Natalia.

"Stay away from my wedded husband." Natalia says.

She raises her cream colored leg and kicks Natalia in the chest. Natalia flies

backwards and dissappears into thin air.

The snow had been falling this entire time, the green grass isn't visible any

longer. The once green forest is now covered in white, an icy winter wonderland.

"Kali?" I ask her cautiously.

She doesn't move. The cape slides off of her shoulders without her moving.

Their is a clapping sound. I look to the right set of chairs. My other brother,

Nikolai, is lounging in a chair, one leg over his other knee. Hands resting on

that leg.

His long golden hair is held back by a crimson ribbon.

"Bravo, dear brother. When you were a human you wanted every girl to be yours,"

He muses, "But now, even in death, your girls won't let you go."

He stands and walks up the aisle, away from us.

"You dug your grave, now lie in it." He whispers before dissappearing into the

whiteness.

We're all alone. Everything is still. Just me and Kali with her back still

turned.

Slowly she turns to me with her naked body fully exposed. Her flesh seems to

tighten and retreat from the cold, it makes her seem human. Steam rises from her

mouth where hot air meets cold air.

A small shiver runs down her spine as she wraps her arms around her naked body.

My ruthless maker now seems vulnerable. I take her hand from her shoulder and

hold it to my heart for warmth. I take her other hand as well and she begins

unbuttoning my shirt. As soon as my marble body is exposed I pull her naked body

to mine, holding her there, trying to warm her body. I grab her tighter and

tigther as she tries harder and harder to become one with my body.

"Gabriel?" Her steamy breath tickles my flesh.

"Yes, my love?" I don't know what made me call her that! Its like being back

with her all those years ago, we were partners in crime...and lust...once again.

"D-I-E." She whispers slowly.

I hadn't realized what she meant until it was too late, she had thrown fire at

my feet and the fire was soon licking my legs, caressing my chest, searing my

soul.

My skin melted and dripped onto my bones, I was screaming bloody murder as the

snow all dropped away and was replaced by hot flames and volcanoes. My eyeballs

burst from the heat and my bones started charring.

Johanna slides the ring she chose for me onto the third finger of my left hand.

I hold both of her hands in mine and whisper, "You look beautiful." So only she

can hear.

"Do you, Gabriel, take Johanna to be your wedded wife for as long as you both

shall live? In sickness and in health? For richer or poorer? Until death do you

part?"

"I do." And I was never more sure of anything in my entire life.

"Do you, Johanna, take Gabriel to be your wedded husband for as long as you both

shall live? In sickness and in health? For richer or poorer? Until death do you

part?"

It seemed that she took forever to answer, even though she took no longer than I

did:

"I do."

"Then, by the power invested by me, I pronounce you husband and wife. I think

you know what to do next." He says happily.

"I know what I want to do next." I whisper to Johanna.

She smiles against my lips and invites my tongue in quickly before pushing it

away.

The crowd cheers and I wish we didn't have to pull away from each other. Johanna

grabs her bouquet from Darla and we happily walk down the aisle as man and wife.

Just outside the edge of the forest is a white horse drawn carriage. I help her

inside and then climb in as well. We wave goodbye as the horse trots away from

the forrest.

"Well, ," I smile at her happily, "What's next?"

She snuggles up to me and pulls my arm around her shoulders.

She gets this very happy, relieved look and then gazes far off into the sky,

"Take me to the stars?" She asks me in a dreamy voice.

"Oh trust me, tonight I will." I say with a goofy grin spreeding across my face.

She hits me playfully, "Cocky fellow, aren't you?"

We let the conversation die off for a couple minutes until I gingerly grab her

chin and make her look at me.

"Anything you want, I'll give it to you. Anywhere you want to go, I'll take you

there. All you have to do is ask and I'll give you the world."

She searched my eyes, let a tear slide down her cheek, and then places my hand

over her heart.

"Just like you said two nights ago, 'do you feel that? My heart beats for you

and only you.' All I want is your heart, to know its mine and no one else's."

She was crying softly and I wished I could cry too.

In a choked voice, I reply, "My heart was yours from the moment I first saw you.

And it always will be. Its yours to protect, to love and hold or to throw away.

Do anything you please with it. Its yours."

There we are, the human and vampire, a seemingly horrible match, bound until

death takes us away from each other. One is crying and the other is forced to

choke on sobs that can never come out.

Johanna ends her sobs and smiles, "You called me ''. I love it, and I

love you. I've never been more happy than now, when I can finally call you my

husband."

I lean in and kiss her, whispering the word 'wife' into her lips, her mind, and

her soul.

About 30 minutes later, the carriage coasts to a stop in front of a large

building. I help Johanna out and take her, hand-in-hand, inside. We are told

which door to go to, and when we open it all of our friends shout and cheer for

us. They form an arch leading to our wedding table where we sit happily and

observe the party. I decided that I would experience the party as a human, the

food, the dancing, everything! Johanna was a little annoyed that I was trying to

fit in with everyone but given the circumstances she let it slide without an

argument.

I danced with Vera, I dance with Sophia, I dance with Susan and I dance with my

family.

It was time for Johanna's dance with her father, we all surrounded the dance

floor to watch.

"'And you'll be in my heart

Yes, you'll be in my heart

From this day on

Now and forever more

Don't listen to them

'Cause what do they know

We need each other,

to have, to hold

They'll see in time

I know

When destiny calls you

You must be strong

I may not be with you

But you've got to hold on

They'll see in time

I know

We'll show them together

'Cause you'll be in my heart

Yes, you'll be in my heart

From this day on,

Now and forever more

Oh, you'll be in my heart

No matter what they say

You'll be in my heart, always

Always '"

Richard leaned forward and pressed a kiss to Johanna's forehead before she held

him tightly and whispered, "I love you, daddy."

My human body thought of Catia. I could even still feel her warmth as she clung

to my legs.

Half way through the song I asked Susan for the dance and was gliding across the

floor with her.

"Hello, hello friends and family of Mr and ! If we all clear the dance

floor its time for the first dance for our married couple." The DJ says.

I pass Vera over to Lottie and then take my place in the center of the dance

floor. We start out with my hand on her waist and holding her other hand in the

air.

"'Look at the sky tell me what do you see

Just close your eyes and describe it to me

The heavens are sparkling with starlight tonight

That's what I see through your eyes

I see the heavens each time that you smile

I hear your heartbeat just go on for miles

And suddenly I know why life is worthwhile

That's what I see through your eyes

That's what I see through your eyes

Here in the night, I see the sun

Here in the dark, our two hearts are one

Its out of our hands, we can't stop what we have begun

And love just took me by surprise, looking through your eyes,'" by this time her

hands were resting behind my neck while my hands were on her hips, "'I see a

night I wish could last forever

I see a world we're meant to see together

And it is so much more than I remember

More than I remember

More than I have known

Here in the night, I see the sun

Here in the dark, our two hearts are one

Its out of our hands, we can't stop what we have begun

And love just took me by surprise, looking through your eyes

Looking through your eyes'"

Our dance existed of fairy tale like twirls and dips, slow and romantic. The

magical thing is that this song seems to have been created just for us. The

crowd melted away behind us and we were alone in our own world where only each

other mattered. The world could have been set on fire, there could have been an

earthquake, I wouldn't have noticed.

The dance ended too soon, we were applauded, and Johanna went to change. When

she came back she was wearing a strapless off white dress with golden designs on

an empire waist, this dress was very slim, not too big, I could tell that she

felt more comfortable in it and then it was time for dinner. Johanna had

requested a varity of foods. She wanted Greek food and native Russian dishes,

but she also had steak and chicken for the younger kids.

Before we knew it, it was time for the toast.

Darla cleared her throat, took the microphone and stood up.

"Good evening, friends and family of Johanna and Gabriel," People clapped, "I

just want my little sister to know how proud I am of her. Johanna, I've watched

you grow up all your life. I was there when you were first brought home, I

helped you take your first steps, I even helped you with your first crush. I'm

really happy and proud to be standing up here as your maid of honor, your

sister, and your friend. You look beautiful, and you've grown into a very

special young woman. So for a special woman, we have a special man as well.

Gabriel, I wish I could have met you sooner. Your nice and funny, your perfect

for Johanna. Welcome to the family."

Johanna stands up and hugs her sister.

Everyone toasts us and sips their champagne.

Next its Rhoan's turn.

"Hey everyone, thanks so much for being here and celebrating this special

occassion. I know that Gabriel and Johanna agree that you all have made it

magical and special for them. Although I didn't know Gabriel when he was

younger, I've watched him grow up in these past years. Meeting Johanna really

changed him. Because of her, Gabriel has more patience, he's more accepting and,

well, he's just an overall nice guy. But you know what they say, if you are

around someone enough then you pick up on their traits and habits. Johanna, you

make Gabriel smile more, and laugh, you taught him to take a step back and love

the world for its beauty. You make him happy. Thank you. Johanna, welcome to the

family, even though we've considered you family since we met you."

My wife...gosh I love that!...smiled sincerly and blushed a little too.

I stood up and hugged my friend. I know he had his doubts about Johanna in the

beginning, and he even still might hate her, but it means so much to me that he

said those things.

"To the bride and groom." Darla and Rhoan raise their glasses and so does

everyone else in the room.

"To Gabriel and Johanna." They reply.

Everyone sips their champagne before Darla takes the microphone from Rhoan,

"Rhoan and I have put together a slide show of Johanna and Gabriel. Please enjoy

it."

Darla was really smiling...like an abnormal amount of smiling for her. She sat

next to Rhoan as the slideshow started playing. They couldn't have it from when

we were both children to the present day because I don't have pictures from my

childhood, and if I did they would be black and white and painted portraits. So

it was just pictures of Johanna from the year I first saw her and then a few

pictures of me, like the one with the family and the Cullens. And then their

were pictures of me and Johanna that I didn't even know we had. There was a

picture of me at The Seven Deadly Sins (when the hell was that picture taken?

Those vampires don't do pictures!) And there was one of Johanna working at her

bar. There were halloween parties and New Years parties spent with our human

friends. There were pictures of Johanna "camping" outside the house (that was

when we had our fight), and at the end there was a video of us baking cookies

and stuff. Well, okay, Johanna did the baking. I tried to help but I almost

burned the house down, so Johanna told me to kind of watch instead.

At the end, I was amazed how far we had come... and how many times their were

cameras around and I didn't even notice because of how interested I am in

Johanna.

The video was truly brilliant! And when it was over, we wanted to thank Rhoan

and Darla but they weren't anywhere in sight.

Johanna and I decided to get up and dance with our friends to continue the

party. But when we got to the middle of the dance floor, all I noticed was six

pairs of red eyes glowing from the darkness near the bar. I left Johanna on the

dance floor and wandered over.

I was out of sight when I rounded the corner and as soon as I did, I felt an icy

hand slide along my shoulder.

I spun around fast, my eyes widened even faster.

It was Brielle.

She was wearing a sparkly blue cocktail dress and tall skinny heels. And if it

wasn't short enough anyway, well it had a slit going up the side of her leg.

Around her neck was a choker necklace of the same color.

"Do you like it?" She bats her long eyelashes which are also covered in

sparkles.

I push her hand off my shoulder, "How dare you come to my wedding dressed like

that and try to seduce me."

The others stepped out of the shadows behind me.

"My mate is not trying to seduce you, mate. She's with me." Ripper growls.

I turn on him and growl back. We bare our fangs at each other.

Reaper growls at Ripper, Brielle growls at Reaper, Stormy growls at Brielle, and

Lara growls at Stormy.

Reaper was wearing a peculiar cotton tank top and his usual bow tie around his

neck, Stormy was in a deep purple pants suit and Lara was in a bright pink skirt

and top.

Ripper turns around to take Brielle away.

"Well if she's with you then tell her to stop being a little slut." I say to

Ripper.

The growling starts again.

Ripper growls at me, I growl at him, Brielle purrs at me, Reaper growls at

Brielle, Ripper growls at Reaper, I growl at Ripper, Reaper growls at me, Stormy

growls at Reaper, Lara growls at Stormy.

"Why don't you say that to my face?" Ripper yells.

"How about I say it to your body while its 6-feet under for good, youngster?" I

threaten as I shove him up against the wall.

"Children, children," Rodrick steps from behind the corner pulling a black

jacket over his bare arms, he blinks his red eyes and makes a dissaproving

clicking sound with his tongue, "Aren't we better than this?" He asks

sarcastically.

I step away from Ripper. Brielle looks down at her feet.

'What is this about?' He asks me in my mind.

I look at Brielle, what kind of vampire am I if I can't deal with such a small

problem on my own?

"Nothing," I say.

'Are you sure?' He prompts.

No one says anything.

Rodrick is giving his usual, dissaproving, downwards glare at us. Slowly, his

eyes shift to Brielle, she looks up at him, straight in the eye.

"Now, Brielle," he backs her straight into the wall and presses his body close

against hers, "Brielle, look," he commands and her bright red eyes stare at his

lips as Rodrick let's his fangs slide down, "Brielle." He whispers twice as he

breathes on her neck, lightly dragging his fangs over her skin. The joy and

elation it causes has Brielle breathing heavy in anticipation and even has her

fangs out when Rodrick places his fangs over his wrist to give her his blood.

As soon as her fangs were out, Rodrick grabbed both of them and tore them out of

her jaw. She gripped her bleeding mouth and wailed in pain. Ripper snarled which

is all it took for Rodrick to decide to make an example of him. Rodrick took his

hand and grabbed the right side of Ripper's face, forcing him to the wall and

not long after, the smell of burning flesh filled the air. Ripper howled in pain

as Rodrick removed his hand to expose the hand print of fire scar on his face.

Reaper looked like he wanted to do something but was then discouraged when

Rodrick's fierce red eyes became fixed on him...of course it didn't hurt that

Rodrick was snarling with his fangs out and blood dripping from them.

Once Lara, Stormy and Reaper backed away and Ripper and Brielle were cowering in

pain against the wall, Rodrick turned to me. He took four quick steps before he

was pearing down at me, standing close. He takes his closed hand and sticks it

into my pants pocket before he opens his fist and pulls his hand back out.

I feel the blood from Brielle's fangs seeping into the liner of my pants pocket.

Rodrick keeps his eyes on me as he wipes the blood from his mouth and closes his

eyes, sending his fangs deep into his skull.

Brielle scowls and storms off into the crowd. Ripper heads towards the bar and

Reaper follows after him. Lara and Stormy leave and go anywhere just so Rodrick

and I can be alone.

"I am sorry for the interruption and for the embarrassment Brielle has caused

you." He says.

"Thank you." I reply.

"She is too determined for her own good. Once my Brielle has her eyes on

something," Rodrick is looking me in the eye, "she never let's it get away."

I had taken my human form again after the others had gone and it was just me and

Rodrick. I blink my human eyes and when they open Rodrick is holding two glasses

of champagne.

I take one.

"Its amazing how little human eyes perceive." His hand gripped my jaw and was

looking deep into my eyes. I actually felt like he was entering my body,

learning every twist and turn of my insides.

"Yes," I state.

"And how much the human body feels." He trails his icy fingers along my neck, I

shiver.

"And how easy it is to make the body feel,"

I start to feel warmth spreading through me, its delicious whispers tug on my

heart strings and fog my mind. I began to realize how perfect Rodrick is. He is

tall with thick blonde hair, a luscious face like an angels, his ab muscles form

a perfect six pack visible beneath his black coat. My king is wearing leather

pants ,like usual, that show me the strength of his thighs and the power of his

legs. His strong hands move over my face, memorizing each and every line and

then down my chest, and then down to my...

"Its astonishing how easy it is to corrupt a human body."

The feeling stops. I feel empty at first and then realize what he had did to me.

He had made me love him.

'I didn't make you feel anything that you already didn't.' He whispers in my

mind.

"I know so much of you, but so little of your human body." Rodricks fingers

trailed over my chest to discover that my scars were no longer there.

"Ah, well. Such a shame that my son uses his talents to pretend to be a human.

Living in that filthy body, unable to take what you want."

"What do you mean?" I ask my fearless leader.

From behind his back he pulls what looks like a bottle of wine, but I knew

better. The bottle was wrapped in gold with jewels incrested in the gold. It was

his blood inside.

Rodrick gripped the neck of the bottle and strolled into the crowd of dancers,

specifically he strolled over to Johanna. The song changed to something erotic

and sexual, a low heavy beat was causing heads to snap back and forth.

Rodrick grabbed Johanna's waist and pulled her close, pressing her against his

groin. I was glued to the spot, unable to protect her. I shouted her name but

over the music I probably wasn't audible. Johanna gave me a smirk as she took

the uncorked bottle from Rodrick and swallowed some of the blood.

"Johanna!" I yelled across the room, "Don't!"

But she couldn't hear me.

Rodrick bent down to her chest and licked her skin all the way up her throat.

While she was distracted by his strange pleasures, Rodrick tore open her dress,

leaving my Johanna in her under garments.

I yelled again, it seemed that my voice had dissapeared. I couldn't run to her,

save her, and I couldn't turn away either. I was forced to watch Rodrick posess

her.

The people around them seemed to have dissappeared, Rodrick grabbed Johanna's

long golden hair and yanked her head back causing her to fall. Instead of

falling to the floor though, she fell on top of a bed. The people were gone, we

weren't at the party anymore, I was in a small bedroom watching Johanna's naked

flesh melt into the large bed with many pillows.

'I'm taking what I want...' He says in my mind.

Rodrick dived on top of her. She twisted her arms around his neck, he didn't

like that. Rodrick grabbed her wrists and pinned them above her head. He left a

trail of kisses down her neck, down her chest, over her stomach...

The deadly whiteness of Rodrick's stark naked body blended with Johanna's tanned

body. She sipped the blood that Rodrick had given her and screamed a mixture of

pain and pleasure...

'...and living in Johanna's dirty body...naughty girl...'

Time sped up and stopped then sped up again a few times. Each time, Johanna had

her back to me but was still gripping the bottle of Rodrick's blood, and each

time her hips seemed a little wider than I remembered. Time stopped. The bottle

was less than half full. Johanna had her back to me still.

"Johanna?" I called out.

To my surprise she turned her head to look at me, she had heard me.

"Johanna thank God you are alright!" My voice sounded different, it was getting

distant. I didn't realize that it was because I hadn't spoken the truth. She

wasn't alright.

Johanna turned her body towards me. My eyes widened in shock and horror! My

words caught in my throat! My heart ripped in half and then in half again until

it was nothing more than little shreds.

...Johanna was pregnant! Very much pregnant! And I wanted to cry.

"Johanna? How did this happen?" I whisper.

She gets a very pleased look on her face as Rodrick appears behind her and

places his hand on her shoulder.

No. This is simply impossible! I wanted to scream at myself. How could Rodrick

do this to me? I was his friend! I wanted to convince myself.

Rodrick grabbed the scarf around Johanna's neck and ripped it away to expose her

neck which was covered with fang marks. Rodrick had gotten her pregnant AND used

her as his own personal blood bank.

All the sudden pain had Johanna gripping her pregnant stomach and withering on

the floor. Rodrick bent down in front of her, obscurring my vision of her. All

was silent...until a shrill cry pierced the air. Rodrick turned around, holding

a baby in his blood covered arms. A baby boy. A smile played on his blood

covered face. Johanna rose up behind him. She was pale, her eyes were red, her

nails were sharp. She was a vampire.

I noticed that the bottle was now empty. She looked at it, then at me and threw

the bottle. But instead of the bottle breaking into millions of pieces, the

image of Johanna and Rodrick and the baby shaddered. The pieces fall away as if

I had seen that frightful image in a mirror...

I shuddered at the foul memory that had clouded my mind.

"-You had invited us out of friendship, and I am sorry that Brielle has put our

friendship in this position. If you so wish then we shall leave." Rodrick is

explaining to me.

I felt some relief, I had imagined that whole horrible thing, but I had to know

for sure. I had to see Johanna.

"Its fine. You are forgiven." I took a step forward to go to Johanna then

thought about something else, "You didn't by chance get her a wedding gift, did

you?"

"What kind of gift does one give to a human?" He answered with a question to my

question.

The answer was no. I nodded and walked away. I found Johanna with Sophia and

Vera in the middle of the dance floor. I placed my hands around her waist and

spun her around to face me. Her hips were as narrow as I remembered and her neck

was clean from any imperfections. I placed my palm on her cheek and she held it

there as we kissed.

"Can we talk?" I ask her after pulling away.

"It sounds important, and like something I really don't wanna hear."

"Its both," I reply.

She gives a solemn nod and sends Sophia and Vera over towards Lottie and Jordan.

Johanna grabs my hand and leads me out into the empty hall.

"I don't know what is happening to me." I say as we sit on a stone bench.

She's silent for a couple minutes as my face lays in my hands.

"Tell me what happened." She commands.

So I do. Only, I don't elaborate on all the details. Just that I seem to be

haunted by death and people from my past and that I had a strange...vision?...in

which she became pregnant by Rodrick.

"Its like I keep imagining alternative ways that these events can go. I feel

confused and scared."

She leaves me to think for another minute. And I love how wonderful of a

listener she is.

"You don't have to worry about Rodrick, I married you. I choose you, not him,

not anyone else." I smiled, "And as for me being pregnant by another man;

impossible. I can't become pregnant...ever."

My head snapped up to look at her beautiful green eyes. Its not that I wanted

kids at all, I wouldn't dream of putting her through that kind of torture...its

just...I wish I had known.

"What do you mean?" I ask her slowly.

"Because I was sick all the time...something...happened. And because of that

something, I can't ever be pregnant. I consider it a never ending disease."

We're both silent.

"Are you upset?" She asks.

"No, I care. I'm worried that you didn't tell me. And I feel like a jerk for

showing off my nieces to you when they children, I had no idea."

"Don't be sorry. It doesn't really bother me. And don't worry, I didn't tell you

because I don't think a relationship should be based upon those kinds of

things."

She's right...but relationships, definitely marriages, ARE based on those

things.

We let the news seep in and let the bad mood leave, there would be plenty of

time to worry about this stuff after the honeymoon.

So Johanna pulled me back to the dance floor and settled against my chest for a

slow dance.

"I can't believe Rhoan and Darla." She smiles.

"What about them?" I ask.

"Your best man is making out with my maid of honor." She tells me.

I pull back a little to look her in the eyes, "Rhoan?... And Darla? Rhoan

AND Darla?"

She's nodding, "If you had listened to me, I was trying to tell you before.

Look." She points to the hall where we just were and I see Rhoan kissing Darla

before both were coming back to the party. The DJ takes my lovely Johanna and

sits her in a chair in the middles of the dance floor.

"Alright, alright. Gabriel, do you think you could go get Johanna's garter for

us?" He asks me.

Oh, its that thing! I nod my head and make my way to Johanna. I hope that I

didn't look too serious about what I was supposed to be doing. I knelt to the

ground and reached inside her dress, trailing my fingers up her smooth leg. At

last, I found the garter and slid it off from around her ankle.

I tossed it into the crowd and guess who got it? Haha, Rhoan was very shocked

when it landed in his hands.

"Alright, friend, don't go anywhere, we're goona need you," the DJ tells Rhoan,

"Now, Johanna, do you think you can get all your single ladies up her so you can

throw your bouquet?"

"Of course!" Johanna smiles.

She gathers all her girls into a group, turns her back and tosses the bouquet

into the air. One guess who got it? Darla. She seemed kind of shocked.

"What does this mean?" She asks the DJ.

He laughs, "This means that you have to take a seat right in this chair." She

does, "Alright, where is that guy that caught the brides garter?"

Rhoan steps forward.

"Okay, now, depending on how much you love the bride and groom, your going to

slip that garter as high up on our maid of honors leg as you want. Keep in mind

that the higher up you place it, the more years of happy marriage you wish our

couple. Ready, go!"

I'm not diving into details, but I will say that Rhoan loves Johanna and I a

lot. Haha!

When that as done, as soon as they can, Rhoan and Darla sneak away back into the

hall. Darla is kissing Rhoan and pulling him into the coat closet...

...The coat closet!

Yeah, buddy!

"Who knew? Your sister and my best guy friend. That'll take some getting used

to."

Johanna laughs, "I saw it coming."

For the rest of the party, I couldn't help but grin every time I saw the coat

closet!

But, like all good things do, this party came to an end. Johanna and I snuck

away at the last five minutes to change. We both dressed in jeans but while I

wore a nice button down shirt, she wore a black tank top that said 'Just

Married' on the front.

Hand in hand, we ran through the hall shouting our goodbyes, to the white

limosine waiting out front. We waved until we couldn't see our friends any

longer.

"Where too?" The driver asks.

"The airport. We have a honeymoon to start on." I tell him.

-Gabriel


End file.
